One Year Later…

by Kenlie Tiggeman on April 9, 2014

It has been just over a year since I walked into NOLA Church for the first time, and I cannot believe how different my life and point of view are now.

I have friends who love me without judgment, and I’ve built relationships with people who know everything about me – my deepest regrets and fears and joys – and love me in spite of those imperfections.

My church isn’t perfect.  It is filled with flawed people who are searching for acceptance, seeking to have their questions answered.  We have issues, but I like that.  Jesus spent time with people who needed Him, and we need Him.  I need Him.

I’ve discovered God’s immeasurable grace and unconditional forgiveness, and I have a relationship with Him that I didn’t realize that someone like me – so flawed and imperfect and horrible – could ever have.

My life is different.  I’m different.

I remember writing a post about my feelings on church, the reasons that I was skeptical about going and the reasons that it just wasn’t for me.  I remember wishing that I could have faith in someone that I couldn’t see, and I remember being terrified of being hurt by the church again.

I needed peace and assurance that everything would be okay, but I didn’t find that. Instead I faced gossip, judgment and condescension.  The meanest, most judgmental people I knew were from the church, and I decided that if that’s what church was about, I didn’t want any part of it.

You can read the whole post here.

Now I love Jesus.  Sometimes people find my love for Him obnoxious, but I’m so thankful that I can’t imagine not talking about it.  It defines so much of who I am now, and I don’t want that to change.

Last week I wrote a post that some of you didn’t like.  Someone called me preachy, and another person called me an idiot.  Someone else called me naive.

I get it.  Some people think I’m ridiculous or full of crap for talking about Jesus here.  I understand that you don’t all love Him or believe in Him or have faith in Him, but it’s who I am now.  I still have a lot of other loves and interests, but He’s part of me now.  I’m happier and more at peace than I’ve ever been so it’s not likely to change anytime soon.

I didn’t write about forgiveness recently because I was trying to preach to anyone; I wrote it because I’ve been working through my feelings on forgiveness lately.  As I look back at my past, I’m forced to think about things that I’ve tried to forget for years.

In my late teens and early 20′s, I was an insecure, suicidal, dishonest person who desperately wanted to feel loved and accepted.  I didn’t think it was possible that I could forgive those who hurt me, and I didn’t care who I hurt because I was in so much pain.  I lived crippled by that pain for years, and now I’m free from it.

It’s by God’s grace that I’m not dead.  It’s because of His love that I get to live in freedom now.  I’m loved.  I’m forgiven.  I’m His.  End of story. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s just the beginning…

 

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I Weigh More Than I Should, But…

by Kenlie Tiggeman on April 3, 2014

There’s actually no “but” to follow.  I still have an incredible amount of weight to lose, and every time I think about how big the numbers are I feel like throwing in the towel.  I don’t feel as energetic and awesome as I did when I weighed 50 pounds less, but I realize that I still have the same power to change that as I’ve had all along.

This week I participated in a health screening, and these are my results:

Blood Pressure: 132/70  - Yikes!  Last time I gave blood it was 118/78, which is where it typically falls.  My guess is that a lack of exercise and an incredible load of emotional stress has played a role in my higher systolic over the last two months.  I’ll be checking it frequently to see the pattern.

Oxygen Saturation Level – 98%  According to the medical staff, the acceptable range is 94% to 100% so I’m okay there.

Resting Heart Rate – 59 bpm  I’m not on any medications so I’m not sure why my heart typically beats less than average, but I’m guessing that it’s the five years of pretty consistent exercise.  I’m not a doctor, and I haven’t asked Google to explain it either so it’s just a guess.

Fasting Blood Sugar – 97 mg  The American Diabetes Association says that 70-126 is acceptable.

Total Cholesterol – 164  Less than 200 puts you at a low risk for coronary health disease.

HDL (Good Cholesterol) – 53 Less than 50 means a major risk of heart disease.  It looks like i made the cut, but not by much.  I’d like to figure out what I can do to make this number higher.

LDL (Bad Cholesterol) – 88  Less than 100 is optimal.  Whew!

TRG (Triglycerides) – 114  Less than 150 is normal.

In my limited understanding of this information, it appears that my numbers are pretty good (especially for someone who weighs as much as I do.)

I’d like to make these numbers even better, and I know that it will take time, consistency and sweat.  In addition to exercise, I’ve been eating more vegetables and fruits.  That’s something that I haven’t done consistently in ages, but I’m doing it now.  I crave the organic green juice that I mentioned in a recent post, which is awesome because I get added nutrients when I drink it without taking a big caloric hit.

When was your last health screening?  Are you happy with your numbers?  Are you doing anything in particular to improve them?

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Five Years Ago Today

April 2, 2014

It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years since I made the decision to change my life.  I’m still overweight – duh.  This journey hasn’t been as flawless for me as it has been for others, but I’m still here.  I exercise, I eat fruits and vegetables, and I love myself more than I […]

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Forgiveness

April 1, 2014

I’ve been thinking about forgiveness and and how powerful it can be.   I don’t spend much time judging people like I used to, and I don’t hold grudges very long because I want others to forgive me when I mess up.  None of us are perfect, and there are parts of my past that […]

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Reclaiming Healthy Habits

March 31, 2014

I’ve been trying to reestablish some healthy habits, and one of those habits is eating at home.  I don’t really enjoy food in the mornings so I’ve gotten back into the habit of starting each day with a smoothie. Last week, I tried a few new flavors, and I liked the results. I made a […]

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And Then I Remembered…Life is Awesome…

March 21, 2014

I was looking for something specific on Facebook this morning, and I came across the first status that I ever posted (circa 2008,) and it simply said, “So. Freaking. Thankful.” I’ve been in a pretty dark place over the last few weeks, but I woke up happy again this morning.  I smiled all day.  I […]

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Mixed Feelings

March 19, 2014

It has been almost a month since I posted here, and I have mixed feelings about that.  I love all of the positive aspects of blogging – the people, the inspiring stories, the community, but I no longer think that it’s healthy to subject myself to judgments from strangers and/or people who are just hoping […]

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Friend Makin’ Mondays: Changes

February 24, 2014

One thing that I love about blogging is the community of people who come together as a result of it, and Friend Makin’ Mondays is an incredible example of that. I’ve hosted it for years, but lately I’ve been off the blog scene.  I have been “distracted” by the events of my life – school, […]

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Love, or Something Like It

February 13, 2014

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and while no one will be giving me flowers or chocolates this year, love is on my mind… There’s a man in my life, and I have feelings for him. I mentioned him for the first time here in September, and I’ve mentioned him once or twice since then. In some […]

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One Week Later

February 5, 2014

After sharing my feelings and struggles last week, I’ve experienced some pretty incredible days.  I’ve exercised consistently, and I’ve made better food choices.  There’s still a lot of room for improvement, but I’m making an effort to do things differently. I’m doing cardio every other day and exceeding 10.000 steps per day, and this sense […]

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