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Would Your Life Be Different If You Liked The Way You Look?

I went to a party recently, and someone actually asked me how I could be so intelligent while being overweight.  I did not take it as an insult because it came from a shy and overweight woman who clearly lacks self-esteem.

The woman, a housewife in her middle to late 30’s, could not imagine that I walk around Manhattan just because I like it. Nor could she imagine that I surround myself with people who are thinner than I am because I like them.

She admitted that she “gave up after college, married a good man who was crazy enough to marry her,” had his kids and feels like she is better off now than she deserves.

Days later, I still cannot believe that she actually expressed these feelings to me — not because I didn’t want to hear them, but because she really believes that she’s worth less because of her size.

Maybe it’s different for me because I am losing weight so steadily or because I know I’ll look awesome in a designer suit. Either way, I cannot imagine letting my weight diminish who I am as a human being to the point of giving up.

Admittedly, I’ve never been the kind of girl who settles for less than what I want, and I always assume that people will like and respect me so maybe part of my confidence comes from my attitude. And perhaps it’s also because I can truly say that I am working to be better tomorrow than I was today.

So my question is this: Is there anyone out there who settles for less because they don’t like how they look or because they think they don’t deserve more? And if so, how did you come to that conclusion?

In my opinion, we deserve as much as we are willing to work for. And while I know life is not always fair, that will never be my excuse for giving up.

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  • Reply
    October 10, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Well, I spent most of my life thinking that way. Then I lost about 125 lbs and my thinking did not change. I still had low self esteem and thought of myself as nothing. Losing weight was not my magical life is awesome pill.

    I knew that I needed to change my thinking. I am getting to love myself, which will help me be successful in the long run.

  • Reply
    October 11, 2009 at 3:14 am

    You worded it exactly how I would have liked to: we deserve as much as we are willing to work for. I totally agree with this!

  • Reply
    October 16, 2009 at 5:48 am

    I just love reading your blog! You always say something to lift my spirits! I am my biggest critic… and that's pathetic and debilitating. Thank you for helping me have a better outlook on myself and what I can do!!! THANKS!!! *:D*

  • Reply
    Would Life Be Different If I Felt Pretty?
    June 17, 2011 at 1:26 am

    […] understand how I could be so confident and well spoken and overweight. You can see that post here.  In her mind, those characteristics were so incongruous that it was literally unthinkable.  She […]

  • Reply
    Leslie@ The tale of going natural
    June 30, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    I have been overweight my whole life. For the most part, as an adult I am confident as hell. It drives my mom crazy. She believes I should be miserable because I am overweight. But you know what? I am cute as a button, have a great husband, uber smart, and just an all around great person. Sucks to be my mom.

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