If you know me then you know I’m pretty good at eating the things I should eat, but you also know that I eat unhealthy things from time to time. And that is definitely what I did tonight. I’m not talking a little junk food…I’m talking about pizza, garlic knots and chocolate chip cookies.
Throughout the day I ate very little. Food has not been appealing in several days because I’ve been sick. But I surely made up for it by eating this garbage tonight. Shortly before dinner, I did 50 minutes of cardio with my girlfriend, Carol so I had burned a few hundred calories and was feeling good.
Then, for some ridiculous reason, I ate pizza. And not just a slice (which is perfectly acceptable from time to time.) I ate three, count it folks, three slices of pizza. Two were small and one was, um, gigantic. I also ate two garlic knots and three chocolate chip cookies that I baked for my boyfriend. I don’t even like chocolate chip cookies that much so why did I do that?
I’ve had about an hour and a half to think on this. I have been on the treadmill obsessing about the fact that this isn’t something that I usually do. Generally speaking, I am not a binge eater. But I think I’ve come to a conclusion. I think I rewarded myself for hitting a big milestone last night. But that’s not all.
As I was eating, Boyfriend and I were talking about long term, healthy living. And I said that I believe I’m losing weight so steadily — and that I have the best chance to keep it off forever — because I eat unhealthy things from time to time. I don’t have pizza every time I want it, but once in a while, I do. And this has worked well over the last several months because I lose weight without feeling totally deprived.
I’ve mentioned in other posts that the things I crave have changed. And that is the truth. But I still like pizza. And I know at some point — certainly not in the next month or two though — I’ll eat it again. But I will remind myself that I actually enjoy it in moderation. I do not, however, enjoy it when I eat way too much of it. Instead, I feel guilty and full of remorse.
But I’ve done what I can do to balance it out. I just completed my second hour or cardio this evening, and burned several hundred calories. I’m also committed to eating well through the weekend and during the week. The bottom line is that I’m happier when I eat well.
I hope the damages won’t be great when I step on the scale Thursday. But if they are, we’ll know that it’s because I did not do all I could do to reach my goal. I know that when I eat balanced healthy meals and exercise I lose. I’ve proven that to myself in the last several months.
Now, I forgive myself. I’m going to let it go. And starting now, I am going to return to my regularly scheduled healthy living habits. And the results will be great. There will be no “oh, I ate like crap today so I screwed up..might as well eat crap again today, etc.” It started this evening, and it ended this evening. And that’s what gives me confidence in the fact that I can do this.
Do you feel guilty when you eat garbage instead of healthy foods? When you eat poorly do you exercise more to balance it out?