Dating Future Mr. Kenlie Reflection

Would You Date Someone Shorter Than You?

I’ve had good luck (or judgement) in dating for the most part. I’ve dated guys who could be described as sincere, honest, loyal, successful and smart. They’ve all been pretty handsome too – and tall. I’m 5′ 4″ (on a tall day) so it’s not hard to date guys who are taller than me, but sometimes that’s not enough.


Almost immediately after moving to The City that Never Sleeps, I became friends with a guy that was 5′ 6″ (on a good day) and 128 pounds. Can you imagine? He had one of the most beautiful faces I’d ever seen. He said he loved me, kissed my cheek every time I saw him and even introduced me to his parents. But we both knew that he was too small, more accurately , I was too big for us to work out in a dating relationship. We were friends so it was okay for a while, but in the end, we both moved on in different directions. And I realize now that it had to be this way because I was so unhappy around him. I turned into this blob of insecurity who could never really change what I didn’t like about myself because I was so busy feeling bad about it.


Being around taller guys, even as friends, helps me feel smaller which is totally important now. I’m not small, but I want to be. And I’m working on it, but until then I’d still like to feel feminine. I do what I can. And the truth is that dating someone taller than me who has broad shoulders, sculpted arms and a big heart makes me feel more secure than someone who has an equally big heart and a little body. Thank you, boyfriend, for not being too little. 😉


Am I alone in this or does anyone agree that dating a taller guy makes them feel smaller?


Would you date someone who is shorter than you?


What helps you feel feminine in a body that is bigger than average?*Originally posted on June 22, 2009 before anyone actually read my blog…;) Just kidding..;) My heart belongs to the faithful few…♥

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  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 6:34 am

    My husband was about 128ish and 5'11" when we met, ha! He has gained 20 or so lbs since then. I'm only 5'1", so I do feel smaller than him, although I'm definitely wider than him! I'm not necessarily attracted to short guys, but I don't think that would have stopped me from dating/ loving/ marrying my husband if he were shorter. I definitely think that actually having curves/ breasts makes me feel more feminine.

    Also, I am doing WW too, and if you have time, could you send me some lunch recommendations– I'm getting so burned out on what I've been eating for lunch and would love some help 🙂 Have a good week!

  • Reply
    Deb Willbethin
    February 22, 2010 at 7:15 am

    My husband is 6 feet tall and I'm 5'4.5–can't forget that .5! We both weighed 155 pounds when we met. (I had lost weight the year before we met.) We were married less than 6 months later. No, I wasn't pregnant. Hahaha.

    As the years went on, he bulked up to about 175# and I bulked up to about 250! so as a previous commenter noted–I was wider than him. It didn't stop me from wanting to be with him every chance I could!

    I did insist that he pout saddlebags on his motorcycle, tho, so that You couldn't tell that I stuck out on each side of the bike. chuckle.

    The bottom line is, tho, if you are so uncomfortable with someone because of you look together, then a relationship won't work. And that's too bad, isn't it?


  • Reply
    ♥ Shrinking Kenz ♥
    February 22, 2010 at 7:22 am worked out well for me Deb because this guy ended up being a jackass…and my boyfriend is stellar.

    But yeah…that reason alone would have been sad..

  • Reply
    Weighting Around
    February 22, 2010 at 11:49 am

    My husband was 6'4", a whole foot taller than me. I loved it and yes, a big man makes me feel smaller. What a great feeling.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    This cracked me up. My husband is more than a foot taller than me and I guess that makes me feel petite, but more than that it makes me feel protected. But it does have some disadvantages like when we took ballroom dancing lessons.

    In college I dated a guy who was a bit taller but very trim and fit. He actually borrowed my jeans once. Depressing.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    SO funny- I totally remember this post- I did read you back then!!!! And no, I still wouldn't be with someone who is shorter than me- I'm 5' 10"!!!


  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    My husband is shorter than I am, and I am bigger than he is. However, the height has never been an issue — he would like for me to wear high heels all the time! Even though I'm bigger, I am thankful that I have been healthy (knock on wood). That is our battle now – his health problems. I'm working on my weight loss, too.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    I couldn't agree more, I also hated that I weighed so much more than my man. All I ever wanted was to climb onto honey's lap and feel so tiny, but omg I could never do that. The problem is my man weighs 150lbs on a "fat day" lol, he's 4 inches taller but soo skinny.. My goal is 147 just to say I weigh less than him.. it is a feminine thing.. I totally get it Kenz.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    Oh Kenz I have written a little about this in the past too. I always dated taller men. It had nothing to do with my size (I haven't always been this heavy). My dad, (whom I lost at 14) was 6'4". I admired him and believe that is why I preferred taller men. I didn't date my husband for a year…he was short. Looking back I would have totally missed the boat if I didn't give my man a chance. I'm so glad I didn't let size keep me from my soul mate. Just a thought: You wouldn't want your soul mate to not want you because of your size would you? He would be missing out on something wonderful.

    Of course this is my opinion. Michael is an inch shorter than me…which is short. I'm only 5'6". I couldn't have a better husband and father!

  • Reply
    Stacey at Living by Faith
    February 22, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    My hubby is actually a little bit shorter than me (about an inch). It hasn't been an issue. I have a love for shoes and most have at least a 2 inch heel. I tease him often and ask him how it feels to kiss up to me. ha!

  • Reply
    {Absolutely, Positively} Josie
    February 22, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    at 5'8, i'm not especially tall, but when a guy is about my height but weighs 50 pounds less, i feel like an amazon.

    i dated someone shorter once. almost every time we were out in public, i thought of this story my dad used to tell me about some old couple he knew back in the day. the woman was 6'+ and the man was like 5'6, and when they held hands, it looked like a parent and child. i don't know that i would date someone shorter now.

    in a body that is bigger than average, i feel feminine around a really tall (usually stocky) guy. that's what i naturally like and gravitate toward. maybe it's my femininity defense mechanism.

    excellent insight, Kenz.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    i don't think i could date anyone shorter than me…i'm 5 foot even and that would be a little strange!

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    I believe I said it then but I will again.

    No I won't. Sorry but it is the truth. BUT I am only 5'3" so he'd have to very short. Well and me not married. HA!

    When my husband was really sick before his diagnosis he weighed less than me and it KILLED ME. I was so rough on myself.

  • Reply
    Sneaker Teacher
    February 22, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    I am a tall girl and not petite or tiny at all, so I like to have a tall guy that is solid. My husband is very fit and I like that he has substance to him rather than being thin like a reed.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Save some tall guys for us tall girls. I'm 5'10.

    I am not sure I would date someone really shorter. I want eye to eye contact not eye to chest.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    I've always dated taller guys. And not just taller but bigger; thick bodied men. It made me feel more equal, almost like I actually had the right to date them.

    I recently dated someone who wasn't that much taller than me, but he was skinny. It felt…weird. I felt unbalanced. I almost felt like I was going to crush him when we were intimate. He called me beautiful, told me he loved me (all of me), and that he wouldn't change a thing about me.

    But I don't know. It made me feel much larger than I actually am to be next to him. Which in turn made me feel miserable. Which then in turn took its toll on the relationship.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    My last potential suitor, thinks I am hottttt (yes, with multiple t's) is nearly my height (about 5'2") but only weighs about 100lbs soaking wet. I am much larger than he is, by about 150 lbs I would say. The guy is smitten with me, very sweet and he makes me laugh. But I can't get past how large I feel around him. If he was taller it would probably make a difference. And to be honest the men who seem to be attracted to me are often very thin. I prefer not so thin. And for now I feel exactly like Audrey in the previous comment. *sigh*

  • Reply
    February 23, 2010 at 6:33 am

    So funny that you posted this when we were just discussing last night, must've been what you were working on! Hahaha

    I too prefer men to be "bigger" than me. I agree with you that I feel more feminine when I am the "littler" one. If a woman is fine with it and her man is smaller- that is awesome and I say kudo's. But if I can find someone who is taller and stockier than me (I'm 5'4 too! and weigh in at 143 currently) than I will take him and be happy!! We'll see what the future holds…


  • Reply
    February 24, 2010 at 1:33 am

    I always wanted to date someone taller than me, which is hard because I'm 5'10". thankfully I've married a man who's 6'3". He may be 160 lbs, but being taller than me makes me feel littler!

  • Reply
    August 7, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    IM a very small guy(5'3" and 130 pounds) reading this conferms my belife that being a short guy and single is not good. Im an inch shorter that the USA avrage hight for females(5'4". My olny question is there anyone out there that likes shorties?

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