I usually weigh in on Thursdays, but the meeting was canceled due to the snow so I’m weighing in today. I feel much better than I did at the beginning of the weekend. The pressure in my ear has definitely subsided, but it’s still clogged up.
This is the first time I can ever remember saying that I did not leave the house even once all weekend. I can honestly say that I laid around all day Saturday. And yesterday, I sat on the floor in my scrapbooking room/office cleaning out drawers, reorganizing my embellishments, tools and paper. I skipped a party on Saturday as well as brunch with girlfriends (which had been planned for a month.) I’d like a trophy for me efforts…just saying.
But the truth is I needed to stay in. I needed to avoid the wind, and I still need to stay out of it as much as possible. I canceled lunch with a friend today because it’s windy here today. But I will head out to my regular meeting spot, to weigh in on my regular scale and enjoy a meeting with an awesome leader. A few of my friends are going as well so it will feel a little less out of the ordinary.
But I’m nervous about stepping on the scale. I worked my butt off last week – doing 85 minutes of cardio a few times and 50 minutes of cardio on other days. I ate well too…very well. But when the power went out Thursday night (a day I usually skip workouts anyway) I started feeling a little pain in my ear. If you read the previous posts I wrote, you know that it got much worse.
So…I have not worked out since Wednesday. WEDNESDAY! My body is craving it. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to do it. But the fear of regaining the extraordinary pain in my ear has kept me from doing it.
And while I’m at it, I should mention that I haven’t eaten nearly enough since Friday. I ate half of my daily intake on Saturday and the same goes for yesterday. I did drink a lot of water and orange juice, and I forced myself to eat a little. But it felt impossible to eat enough over the weekend. My stomach felt yucky, and I couldn’t taste food.
Just to be clear, I am not making excuses for whatever happens on the scale. Instead, I’m telling you that I worked really hard last week, but try as I did, I did not do as well as I should have done over the weekend. Obviously, working out would have been a bad idea, but I should have forced myself to eat more. I tried…really. (Isn’t it odd/annoying that I need to eat more to lose weight? LOL)
So if I show a gain when I step on the scale today, I might cry. But I won’t cry because I gained, I’ll cry because sometimes life just isn’t fair. I’m tired of feeling sick…tired of not being able to workout at full capacity. I want it. I need it. So many people hate working out; I LOVE it! I just want to be able to do the work that I’m perfectly willing to do!
A good friend put it all in perspective this weekend when she said “Hey..aren’t you trying to do more than lose weight? Aren’t you trying to be healthy too?”
Yes…I am trying to be healthy not just skinny. So I know that whatever the scale says today, it will be a small part of my overall success – good or bad. I just want it to be good because I’m human. And because I work hard. And because I like reaching my goals in a timely manner.
So wish me luck today because I’ll probably need it. Regardless, I need to take a step back and remind myself that there will be ups and downs in life. But the fact remains that the down times are few compared to the positives. And I need to remember that at some point I will feel better.
Those lyrics have taken me through some rough times in the past, and I’m going to let them take me through this today. I just pray that the hard work I usually do/did last week will be evident in the numbers too.
How do you handle being sick? How do you get your mind off of things you know you can’t do until you feel better? How do you keep it all in perspective?