I’m overweight…duh. But even at my heaviest I’ve been lucky to find a smart, good looking, well-rounded and even keeled guy who loves me back as much as I love him. I suppose he’s not perfect, but he’s everything I think I deserve and a little more. 😉 When my dad describes him to people he says “He’s the kind of man who will walk into your house and make you feel more at home.” My mom and sister love him too. It’s easy. So the question is…how did I get so lucky while many of my friends (all of whom are still thinner than me) struggle to find a loving relationship?
During the first year of our relationship I often questioned why he’d love me while I was so heavy. I worried that he would open his eyes one day and change his mind, but he hasn’t. And now that we’ve been together for over two years, I’m starting to believe that he’s not going anywhere…;)
I met him at my heaviest weight, and from date #1 he has treated me like I’m worth my weight in gold. He loved me before I decided to lose one pound, and he’s been extraordinarily supportive on my journey to lose weight. He’s attracted to me because I’m smart, because I don’t give up on things I want to accomplish and he thinks that most things I do are cute. 😉 He also loves the fact that he can beat me in a game of Scrabble, err, in many games of Scrabble.
One of my closest girlfriends weighs about 50 pounds less than I do now. She’s super pretty, dresses well and is always well-groomed. She knows guys who are willing to be friends with benefits, but she struggles to meet guys who want a relationship with her. I know…I know…It’s text book, right? But it makes no sense to me because she has so much to offer. She is a fantastic cook, funny, self-sufficient, loves to read and she tells it how it is. Did I mention how adorable she is?
My friend and I have had discussions about this in the past, and she insists that she just doesn’t find opportunities to meet new guys. I like to create opportunities so I tell her to sit at a bookstore or a coffee shop for an afternoon. Or join a reading group or a cooking class. She enjoys those things which means she could meet someone who has similar interests.
I’m not saying that it’s easy…or that I get nearly as much attention from guys as I do when I’m thin. To be clear, I definitely do not. But I don’t need attention from everyone because I found the guy that I’d like to spend my life with…
Do you think it’s impossible to find love when you’re overweight? Do you struggle to believe that you’re worth being loved even though you may not be happy with what you look like outside?