Emotions Junk Food Lifestyle Obesity

This Makes Me Sad

I know how hard it is to lose weight. It is no secret that when I stepped on the scale last year I weighed almost 400 pounds. I get it. It’s really hard. And when you have as much to lose as I did when I started it’s extraordinarily difficult to believe you can do it.

Whether you need to lose 20 or 200, it’s tough. But unless you’ve ever had a couple hundred pounds to lose it’s utterly impossible to truly understand how high the mountain top looks from the valley.

That being said, it doesn’t look nearly as high from my view as it did a year ago. It’s not nearly as overwhelming or scary or seemingly impossible. And for that reason, Donna from New Jersey broke my heart today.

She currently weighs 600 pounds and says her goal is to weigh 1,000 pounds. What can I say? She would probably laugh and say “hey, at least I have a goal.” But it’s ridiculous. I strive to be understanding, and despise being judgmental because I hate being judged by others who think they understand me. But I’m failing in this case. At this moment, I want to drive to new Jersey and ask this woman who she thinks she’s fooling.

(Donna weighs 600 pounds and says she hopes to reach 1,000 pounds.)


Does she want attention? And does it seem like the only way she can get it is so say these outlandish things? Is she so tired of being mocked that she has decided to mock herself first? Is this her defense mechanism?

Does she love food so much that she’s willing to sacrifice her life? (Many of us have probably had to face that question.) Does she feel proud that she cannot possibly give her daughter the quality of life that every child deserves? Does she honestly feel happy this way? If a picture really is worth a thousand words then I’d say the answer is no.

Is this a cry for help? Is she truly sad? Has she given up on herself because it’s easier than believing that she’s worth the effort to save herself? Does she feel as though her child will be better off without her because she’s not worthy of loving or being loved? Does she wish she could change? Would she be willing to seek the help of a therapist to sort it all out?

I just want to know what she’s really thinking and feeling. I want to know if she’s scared or angry or numb to it all. I want to reach out and hug her then look her in the eyes and tell her she change. I want to help her. But I’m just a nobody with a blog.

Dr. Oz tweeted about this woman today which gives me a great deal of hope. He said “NJ woman wants to weigh 1,000 pounds so she can set the world record. I don’t like where this is going. http://bit.ly/bN9aJb” Perhaps his show will contact her, and maybe she’ll make an appearance. Maybe she’ll do her best to change before it’s too late. I hope so.

As one woman who embraced a healthy lifestyle as an extraordinarily overweight person, my heart breaks for her. Regardless of what she says or how she acts, I’m quite sure that she wishes for a different body – a different life.

I usually love to wish everyone luck with their goals. But in this case, Donna, I hope you fail in reaching your 1,000 pound weight goal. Instead, I hope you take the first step toward becoming a healthy person who can live to enjoy life with your family. I hope that somewhere inside your large body, you find the strength to face your battles and conquer them.

********************
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20 Comments

  • Reply
    Weighting Around
    March 16, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Well, I finally figured out how to comment on your blog! Stupid me.

    It is hard to fathom why Donna would actually want to gain weight and I don't believe that is the case at all. Nobody could be happy being that size and being on a suicide mission. I can only think she must feel powerless at her weight and can't possibly imagine gaining control over her problems. She hasn't learned what we know – that it can be done!

    I really feel for her and hope someone takes her under their wing and guides her to safety, to good health and to a real life.

    Thanks for sharing Kenz, and thanks for being such a wonderful follower of my blog! You are truly an inspiration.

  • Reply
    Kel
    March 16, 2010 at 10:53 am

    I'm not sure exactly how to respond to this except to say that it absolutely breaks my heart.

  • Reply
    Frau
    March 16, 2010 at 10:53 am

    I'm sad for the NJ gal I hope she is offered help for her daughter's sake. You are an inspiration though I just found you I'm happy I did. Goals are hard but but it helps seeing other achieve theirs.

  • Reply
    Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie
    March 16, 2010 at 11:04 am

    This may sound harsh, but if she's a mom, she has no right to be purposely trying to get to 1000 lbs.

    She might very briefly hold the world's record.

    Then she'll be dead and her daughter will not have a mother. Congratulations.

  • Reply
    Missa
    March 16, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    I live not so far from where this woman lives. I have seriously thought about hunting her down. Even if this is her weird goal, what kind of role model is she setting for her child? Be completely disfunctional so pervy men can watch me eat? It is just nasty.

  • Reply
    The Monkey and Me
    March 16, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    With that kind of destructive statement I hate to say this but I honestly think social services should intervene. How could she possibly be caring for a child? I am so sorry for her, but as a mother totally appalled and furious.

  • Reply
    honeysuckle
    March 16, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Thanks for stopping by yesterday! You are so lucky to be going somewhere warm and Aruba sounds wonderful, I have not been there. Have a great time and congratulations on your major weight loss! Enjoy all that sun!!

  • Reply
    Em
    March 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    I read that article. It made me mildly ill, if I may speak frankly.

    How selfish can she be?

  • Reply
    Rhonda
    March 16, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    That is just so, so sad! Sounds to me like she has given up! She thinks it's easier and more fun to go to 1000 pounds than to lose 450 lbs. She needs to have the blinders lifted off of her eyes! I seriously will pray for her. It breaks my heart!

  • Reply
    trippingtiffies
    March 16, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    i had to re-read your first couple of paragraphs because i thought i had it wrong in my head – why would a woman want to weigh more than 600 lbs…but then i realized i was reading it right. wow. that poor woman. she needs to snap out of it and get on the right track and i appreciate your view on this situation. i feel the same way.

  • Reply
    MrsJenB
    March 16, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    Wow. This is astounding, I hadn't heard about this before. I might not have as much weight to lose as she does – "only" 100-110 (yeah, "only")…and there have been days when I've just wanted to give up and figured I was too far gone to continue. Yes, we all know that the road looks so long and tough, especially from the heaviest end of it. Perhaps this is her way of trying to make it seem as though she has a goal and is not just thoughtlessly getting heavier and heavier. 'Yeah, I know I'm beyond too heavy, but there's a reason for it so leave me alone'. I just don't know…

  • Reply
    Seth
    March 16, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    I agree — I couldn't believe it when i heard it. Maybe I just don't get it but it seems as though she has just given up.

    She is killing herself.

    Who has 800 dollars to spend weekly on groceries — and what is worse is that the money is coming from her website in which people give her money to watch her eat(??) This is what the story on the radio had said.

    ahhh!

  • Reply
    Heather B.
    March 16, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    WOW!! I am not sure what else to say! I can't EVER imagine that being a goal. She needs professional help and fast. Hopefully Dr. Oz can get her back on the right track and find out what is really going on. She may not live to see that 1000 lbs. Then what will her daughter think?

  • Reply
    Deb Willbethin
    March 16, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    I had so many responses to this story. I guess my first was much like yours–shock and a how sad. As I looked at her picture, I also thought two tings–that she looked miserable and that she had a good face. Just how do so many fat girls have such good faces? My face is every bit as fat as the rest of me! I had cheekbones before I weighed 200 pounds! No deceptive head shots for me. Ah well.

    But as I thought past my initail reactions, I remembered the truth of the human condition. And that is: we all want to feel valued, desperation takes many forms, some things are much more apparent from the outside looking in & denial ain't just a river in Egypt

    The fact is that this woman knows what she's good at–she's good at eating and gaining weight. She's gotten fame by holding a world record for being the fattest woman to give birth. She can make money from eating. She's even gotten national attention from being fat. And she's desperately tring to feel valued again–this time she'll be the fattest woman ever.

    Desperation can drive a person to do amazing things. It can be what starts someone on a journey to lose 300, 400 pounds, for instance. But desperation and denial–that is a tragic combination.

    We need to pray for this woman. I guess we also need to be grateful that our desperation did not lead us down her path. I have wanted to give up and say that I'm just meant to be fat so many times… And I have been trying to lose "only" 110 pounds. But for the grace of God, I am not that woman.

    Thanks for the thought-provoking post, Kenz. your heart is obviously in the right place. You would help her if you could.

    Deb

  • Reply
    workhardplayhardeathard
    March 16, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine…very sad. I pray she also does not ever reach that goal.

  • Reply
    Diz
    March 16, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    I agree with Deb- this has to be a desperate ploy to get attention at something she's good at. How sad.

    D

  • Reply
    Sib
    March 17, 2010 at 12:04 am

    How very sad. I agree with Deb Willbethin… this woman is craving the love and attention we all want. It's just sad that she obviously believes this is the only way she can get it. Surely she can't be thinking straight and I hate to imagine how this will affect her daughter once she understands what is happening – or worse, what happened.

  • Reply
    Ms. Chunky Chick
    March 17, 2010 at 2:52 am

    I am saddened beyond all belief. Not only for her but for her child.

  • Reply
    jenjen
    March 17, 2010 at 6:52 am

    That is so sad. I can't believe she would want to do that!

    XOXO
    Jen

  • Reply
    Losing Weight Daily
    March 24, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    What makes me so sick about this story is how she's paying for it. Eating enough to get that heavy takes a lot of food. So she's set up a website where people can pay to watch her eat.

    People actually PAYING to watch someone deliberately try to kill themselves slowly. It's like a snuff reality show. She needs help and support but those people are twisted and the morally void ones in this issue.

    I will never understand people attracted to fat – not people who are fat … the fat itself. I tried sorting through this on my blog and didn't really get anywhere, I just can't understand it. But more and more I feel this obesity crisis is an issue of community morals, and anyone who encourages others – pays them even – to promote their obesity … I could slap them silly.

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