Ready To Fly

Today was weigh-in day, and I’m down another 3 pounds (2.8 to be exact.) I feel pretty good about it because I’m no longer teetering right at 100. I can officially say I’ve passed that mark. Whew!

I’m relieved to have lost, but it has been an emotional week so I’m excited to start a new one. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my emotions have run the gamut lately. I’ve felt a longing that I can’t fully explain right now followed by an indescribable need to jump into the future to claim what’s waiting for me there.

I guess it’s good that I’m going on vacation tomorrow, hm? ๐Ÿ˜‰ This time I’m not heading to a plush, desert island or to the Caribbean; I’m headed to the comfort of Mom’s house. And I cannot wait to get there. ๐Ÿ™‚

Life there is different. And while I wouldn’t want to stay there indefinitely, I always look forward to the relaxing visits, time with my family and friends who are like family. And this time, I’m looking forward to seeing my sister and my niece who will be visiting too. ๐Ÿ™‚

After losing 103 pounds, I can honestly say that I’m not as worried about flying to Mom’s as I was last time I was there. I’ll still be the overweight passenger, but I’ll be a lot more comfortable. And I’ll take up a lot less space. I can even bring my laptop to watch episodes of Ruby and Drop Dead Diva because I’m small enough to place my Macbook on the table in front of me. That’s a big deal my friends..:)

I’m still looking forward to the day in which I no longer have to worry that someone will request a seat change or that the person sitting next to me will spot me and dread the flight. But I do know that I can comfortably take my seat and not worry about spilling over into the next seat. I also know that I won’t disembark only to find bruises on my sides because I’m so much smaller now.

I expressed my anxiety about flying in a post on August 9th of last year.

I will never be able to explain to anyone how difficult it is to hope that no one causes a scene on a plane due to my size. And I will never be able to help anyone comprehend how it feels to wish for nothing more than to be invisible.

But I am going to get on a plane in a few hours because life will not wait for me to achieve my goals. The difference this time is that I know Iโ€™ll be smaller next time. Iโ€™m 37 pounds smaller this time, and I look forward to the day when I will no longer need a seat belt extension. Until then, wish me luck because Iโ€™m definitely going to need it tomorrow.

And many of the fears I had then have melted away along with my weight. I have a long way to go, but I’m almost half way there. I truly have come so far…So I’m going to relax and look forward to the next several days without too much worry. I love to travel, love to fly…and cannot wait to see my momma. ๐Ÿ™‚

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20 Comments

  • Reply
    Heather
    June 11, 2010 at 5:45 am

    Hi Kenz,
    First, let me thank you for the lovely comment you left on my blog. It warmed all the right parts of my soul and psyche, invoking a giggle and a tear of happiness. Not a bad way to end the day, I'd say.

    As for your post today, I remember well many a past flight to see relatives. I remember praying desperately for empty seats next to me so I could avoid all of the nasty looks my rotund form could bring forth. I remember being embarrassed and grateful when the seat arms would lift up, so I could slide myself more comfortably into the seat. I remember avoiding having anything to drink so I wouldn't have to get up mid-flight to use the lavatory. I remember the awful feelings flying brought up within me. But no more!

    We are all on our way to banishing those feelings once and for all. I bet when you snuggle into that seat, a huge smile will come across your face that'll last the whole flight. I, for one, can't wait to hear about it soon. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Have a fantastic and safe flight. Enjoy your vacation. You've earned it!

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  • Reply
    Diz
    June 11, 2010 at 7:08 am

    I remember that post too- it was the first post of yours I ever read- and I was instantly addicted. I love you Kenz!! I'm so proud of you for coming such a long way- 37 to 103 pounds…WOW!! You are an amazing woman in every sense of the word. Have fun at home and let's plan a trip one time at the same time so we can play!! xoxo

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  • Reply
    Frau
    June 11, 2010 at 7:26 am

    Congrats on your continued success! I wish people were not as cruel as they are, I can't imagine how it is but I wish it was different. Safe travels!

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  • Reply
    Sean Anderson
    June 11, 2010 at 9:58 am

    There's not a place more comforting to me than mom's. Have a warm and wonderful visit, you deserve it!

    Your flight will be remarkably different today. Enjoy it my friend, and just as you realized it would get better a year ago—You can have the same attitude today, knowing that where your headed–it wouldn't matter if it were a small commuter flight or a two seat Cessna—It will no longer be a factor, ever.

    Congratulations on the 3 pound loss!!! I'm thrilled for you Kenz, seriously thrilled. This journey is a celebration all the "weigh" down…enjoying progressive victories along the way and thoroughly enjoying every single one. Enjoy that laptop my friend!

    You're an awesome inspiration! Thank you for everything you do.

    My best always,
    Sean ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  • Reply
    Sean Anderson
    June 11, 2010 at 10:00 am

    **I'm such a geek:

    "where you're headed" not "your headed"

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  • Reply
    Miz
    June 11, 2010 at 10:18 am

    LOVE the mental image of the fear MELLLTING away with the pounds.

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  • Reply
    Beth P.
    June 11, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Have a great trip, Kenz! And congrats on 3 lbs this week! Awesome.

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  • Reply
    Tammy
    June 11, 2010 at 11:13 am

    I'm so glad that you had a loss! I'm working on that for this week, too. I hope you enjoy your vacation!

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  • Reply
    Keri
    June 11, 2010 at 11:40 am

    Have a wonderful trip Kenz. Many people will never get the opportunity to appreciate the little things like you can because we take so much for granted. You are a stronger and more enlightened more peaceful person than half the skinny biatches walking around and I think thats pretty awesome… soon you'll be one of the skinny biatches too and still be twice the person most are inside!! ps – Congrats on your loss xo

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  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 11, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Sounds like vacation came just in time. Funny how that happens.

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  • Reply
    Vaia
    June 11, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    Congratulations on your loss lady!! Enjoy every moment with your family – there's no place like home, right?

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  • Reply
    Becca
    June 11, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Yay for Mom's house!!! Enjoy and relax!!

    ~Becca

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  • Reply
    Annie
    June 11, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Have an awesome flight!! What a difference a year makes.

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  • Reply
    SherRon, Shoes To Lose
    June 11, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Vacations at home are the best! Have a great flight and congrats on your weight loss!

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  • Reply
    Rhonda
    June 11, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    Hope you have a great time at your moms!

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  • Reply
    Lisa
    June 11, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Have a great trip. I remember the first time I got on a plane and I wasn't terrified that the seat belt wouldn't fit. You should be so proud of yourself!!

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  • Reply
    Miki
    June 11, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    Have a great vacay, enjoy the time with your mum, and relax. I'm so happy for you that you've kicked 100 pounds! Whoot! Just think, the next time you fly, you'll have absolutly nothing to worry about. ^.^

    I noticed that you have the Eclipse counter at the bottom of the page. Have you bought your ticket yet? I did, opening night. I can't wait! hehe

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  • Reply
    Genie @ Diet of 51
    June 12, 2010 at 1:18 am

    A scale victory and a very tangible non-scale victory for you! Enjoy your seat and enjoy your visit with your family!

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  • Reply
    Deb Willbefree
    June 12, 2010 at 4:35 am

    Congratulations on the almost THREE pound loss!! Wahoo, I know you were a little concerned–so glad you found a nice-sized reward on that scale!

    "…life will not wait for me to achieve my goals." I've been telling myself something like that for a while. Everytime something comes up and my first thought is, "But I'm fat…" I'm not as good with the follow-thru as you are, Kenz. Not by a long shot!

    Have a great trip.

    Deb

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  • Reply
    โ™ฅ Kenz โ™ฅ
    June 13, 2010 at 7:46 am

    Oh Deb…I follow through one day at a time..some days are wonderful, but some are much harder. Just do your best my friend. You've come so far! Appreciate yourself a little too, will ya? ::hugs::

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