Today was weigh-in day, and I’m down another 3 pounds (2.8 to be exact.) I feel pretty good about it because I’m no longer teetering right at 100. I can officially say I’ve passed that mark. Whew!
I’m relieved to have lost, but it has been an emotional week so I’m excited to start a new one. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my emotions have run the gamut lately. I’ve felt a longing that I can’t fully explain right now followed by an indescribable need to jump into the future to claim what’s waiting for me there.
I guess it’s good that I’m going on vacation tomorrow, hm? 😉 This time I’m not heading to a plush, desert island or to the Caribbean; I’m headed to the comfort of Mom’s house. And I cannot wait to get there. 🙂
Life there is different. And while I wouldn’t want to stay there indefinitely, I always look forward to the relaxing visits, time with my family and friends who are like family. And this time, I’m looking forward to seeing my sister and my niece who will be visiting too. 🙂
After losing 103 pounds, I can honestly say that I’m not as worried about flying to Mom’s as I was last time I was there. I’ll still be the overweight passenger, but I’ll be a lot more comfortable. And I’ll take up a lot less space. I can even bring my laptop to watch episodes of Ruby and Drop Dead Diva because I’m small enough to place my Macbook on the table in front of me. That’s a big deal my friends..:)
I’m still looking forward to the day in which I no longer have to worry that someone will request a seat change or that the person sitting next to me will spot me and dread the flight. But I do know that I can comfortably take my seat and not worry about spilling over into the next seat. I also know that I won’t disembark only to find bruises on my sides because I’m so much smaller now.
I expressed my anxiety about flying in a post on August 9th of last year.
I will never be able to explain to anyone how difficult it is to hope that no one causes a scene on a plane due to my size. And I will never be able to help anyone comprehend how it feels to wish for nothing more than to be invisible.
But I am going to get on a plane in a few hours because life will not wait for me to achieve my goals. The difference this time is that I know I’ll be smaller next time. I’m 37 pounds smaller this time, and I look forward to the day when I will no longer need a seat belt extension. Until then, wish me luck because I’m definitely going to need it tomorrow.
And many of the fears I had then have melted away along with my weight. I have a long way to go, but I’m almost half way there. I truly have come so far…So I’m going to relax and look forward to the next several days without too much worry. I love to travel, love to fly…and cannot wait to see my momma. 🙂