Accomplishments Emotions Exercise Love Reflection weight loss

Things I’ve Learned

Over the last week I’ve learned a lot about myself. And I believe that self-awareness is an important part of this process so I’m going to share a few things I’ve learned with you.

It is just as important for me to journal my food now as it was a year ago even if I’m much better at eye balling it. I still have to pay attention to everything I put in my mouth because when I don’t track it I can’t be sure exactly what I’ve had. And being unsure causes me to stress more than I should.

My confidence has greatly improved, but there’s still much room for improvement. I am still insecure. It’s not like that’s a total surprise, but my insecurities have surfaced over the last week. Some have been settled for good while others still haunt me a little.

Eating 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables a day makes me feel like a healthier person. I can really feel the difference. I like junk food, but I love the feeling I have when I know I’ve had enough water, fruits and veggies and whole grains. I don’t struggle with this at home everyday, but I definitely did here until yesterday.

I have used my body as an excuse/reason/justification (call it whatever you want) for me to accept less than what I know I deserve. I am not ugly… There’s nothing wrong with me. And while I’ve struggled for a long time to believe it, I am now keenly aware of that fact. I have changed this week, but the most important changes have occurred on the inside. I was broken; now I’m healed.

My body is strong. I could be much stronger, of course. I’m looking forward to it. But the differences I’ve experienced in the last 14 months are incredible. For example, my feet no longer swell up like balloons making me fear for my life. I can jog the distance of the terminal to catch the plane (though I don’t plan to push that one again.) Even if I had missed it, just knowing that I could do it would have thrilled me because it showed endurance that I didn’t have before.

I love to sweat. Yes, I knew this already, but wow…I love Summer, and I love intense heat. Feeling the sun beat down on me is not a new sensation, but liking it is definitely new for me. My body doesn’t mind the hot, humidity I’ve been living in for the last week. In fact, it thrives in it.

I exercise like a champ. Working out, even when I’m out of my regular environment, is something that I thoroughly enjoy. I don’t always love starting (though most days I do,) but I always love the feeling of completion I have when I’m done. And, at this point, there’s no question. I am going to exercise (almost everyday) no matter what.

I am not perfect, but I like the person I am today. If I were already thin, I’d be considered a health nut (most days.) I’m far enough along on my journey to know that I am not going back. I like being a strong, healthy, happy version of myself. So even when I have weeks that are out of the ordinary, I am going to pick myself up and keep moving forward.

Being honest with myself about where I am and where I want to be has changed me in so many ways over the last year, and I’m going to continue growing into the person that I want to be – the person that I am. I have one life, and it is within my power to make it extraordinary.

Related Posts

16 Comments

  • Reply
    Lesa
    June 21, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    You "fixed" my day with this post. I did a very wrong thing, went shopping while feeling sorry for myself, and got sadder as eveything I liked didn't fit me. All the pretty things seemed so small.

    Anyway, I did get a few things, still feeling crappy I came home to check blogs and there you were. Thanks a MILLION!!!!

  • Reply
    DrTejas
    June 21, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    You've made fantastic progress! Keep it up and thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    {Absolutely, Positively} Josie
    June 21, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    Kenz, i think of you as a health nut now, and i mean that in a good way! 😉

  • Reply
    SeattleRunnerGirl
    June 21, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    Kenz, I LOVE this post! Thank you for sharing your lessons learned.

  • Reply
    Deb Willbefree
    June 21, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    It seems like this week at home has been very good for you. 😀 Deb

  • Reply
    Liza
    June 22, 2010 at 12:46 am

    Thank you for your honesty and courage. We can both do this!!!

  • Reply
    Shelley
    June 22, 2010 at 1:19 am

    You seem very wise and reflective. Great post!

  • Reply
    Genie @ Diet of 51
    June 22, 2010 at 1:28 am

    You always have the best lists! Thanks!

  • Reply
    Ann
    June 22, 2010 at 1:39 am

    Great post!!!! You sound soooo strong and "on target"!!!

  • Reply
    Heather
    June 22, 2010 at 3:57 am

    "I am not perfect, but I like the person I am today."

    Out of your list (and I love each and every point), I think this is my favorite and the most important. It's what each of us should remind ourselves with every day; the ability to stay grounded while reaching for the stars.

    Kenz, you are so worthy of all joys great and small. Your strength, honesty, and courage are tremendous. Never change those!

    Thank you again for reminding me to stay the course, believe in myself and believe in my successes. Truly fabulous! ~H.

  • Reply
    Vaia
    June 22, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    You pretty much made me tear up with this post. It articulates how so many people feel during this process and I love how you let so many people into your life with every word you write. You are so beautiful inside and out – it's ridiculous really!!

  • Reply
    Missa
    June 22, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Girl, I am with you!! I just flew to Singapore and I forgot my compression socks. Normally, this would mean super swollen ankles and feet and agony for days… but guess what? NO SWELLING!!

    Yay for being stronger and eating healthier… You can do this!! let me repeat, YOU CAN DO THIS!!

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

  • Reply
    jennykate77
    June 22, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    Those are great things to learn!! You are a beautiful person! I love this post!♥

  • Reply
    Amanda
    June 22, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    You aren't just "not ugly" — you're gorgeous. That smile of yours could light up an entire city!

    Awesome list and way to go 🙂

  • Reply
    ME - 100 = WILL HAPPEN!
    June 22, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    once again, an encouraging post! thanks, kenz! your journey to not only lose weight but gain freedom and true perspective of yourself is awesome!
    way to go!

  • Reply
    Challenge:1yearnorestaurants
    June 23, 2010 at 12:43 am

    These are great lessons to learn today and then to remind ourselves of them daily. Have you thought of maybe posting eat lesson or goal on the top of your food journal? I have found that it helps me to stay focused on ONE good thing each day. Even if it is one of those icky days.

    Thanks for the reminders of these great lessons.

  • Leave a Reply

    %d bloggers like this: