Over the last week I’ve learned a lot about myself. And I believe that self-awareness is an important part of this process so I’m going to share a few things I’ve learned with you.
– It is just as important for me to journal my food now as it was a year ago even if I’m much better at eye balling it. I still have to pay attention to everything I put in my mouth because when I don’t track it I can’t be sure exactly what I’ve had. And being unsure causes me to stress more than I should.
– My confidence has greatly improved, but there’s still much room for improvement. I am still insecure. It’s not like that’s a total surprise, but my insecurities have surfaced over the last week. Some have been settled for good while others still haunt me a little.
– Eating 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables a day makes me feel like a healthier person. I can really feel the difference. I like junk food, but I love the feeling I have when I know I’ve had enough water, fruits and veggies and whole grains. I don’t struggle with this at home everyday, but I definitely did here until yesterday.
– I have used my body as an excuse/reason/justification (call it whatever you want) for me to accept less than what I know I deserve. I am not ugly… There’s nothing wrong with me. And while I’ve struggled for a long time to believe it, I am now keenly aware of that fact. I have changed this week, but the most important changes have occurred on the inside. I was broken; now I’m healed.
– My body is strong. I could be much stronger, of course. I’m looking forward to it. But the differences I’ve experienced in the last 14 months are incredible. For example, my feet no longer swell up like balloons making me fear for my life. I can jog the distance of the terminal to catch the plane (though I don’t plan to push that one again.) Even if I had missed it, just knowing that I could do it would have thrilled me because it showed endurance that I didn’t have before.
– I love to sweat. Yes, I knew this already, but wow…I love Summer, and I love intense heat. Feeling the sun beat down on me is not a new sensation, but liking it is definitely new for me. My body doesn’t mind the hot, humidity I’ve been living in for the last week. In fact, it thrives in it.
– I exercise like a champ. Working out, even when I’m out of my regular environment, is something that I thoroughly enjoy. I don’t always love starting (though most days I do,) but I always love the feeling of completion I have when I’m done. And, at this point, there’s no question. I am going to exercise (almost everyday) no matter what.
– I am not perfect, but I like the person I am today. If I were already thin, I’d be considered a health nut (most days.) I’m far enough along on my journey to know that I am not going back. I like being a strong, healthy, happy version of myself. So even when I have weeks that are out of the ordinary, I am going to pick myself up and keep moving forward.
Being honest with myself about where I am and where I want to be has changed me in so many ways over the last year, and I’m going to continue growing into the person that I want to be – the person that I am. I have one life, and it is within my power to make it extraordinary.