Family Love

It’s Time

Today has been a good day in most respects. I completed two miles on the elliptical machine before swimming over a mile in the pool, and I’m really proud of myself for swimming like such a champ. 😉 I thought it would take time to work up to a mile, but I surprised myself by swimming a mile a few days ago and a mile and a quarter yesterday. And after today’s workout I feel tired, but I also feel confident and strong.

I’ve been such a dark place lately, but today I’ve managed to stay (mostly) out of it. I ate lunch with my dad before going to the gym, and I did a lot of thinking. This has easily been one of the toughest periods in my adult life, but today I believe I’ll get through it. And while it’s still not quite easy to see a silver lining, I do know that when this period is over I’ll be a better person than I was going in. It’s just time to start moving on…

Speaking of moving on, I’m leaving Oklahoma Saturday. After a short visit with my sister and her family in Colorado, it will be time to get back to the place that I love and start again. Though things will be different when I go back, I am utterly grateful to be going back.

A few things will be the same, and I’m thankful for that too. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone at my Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday nights, and I can’t wait to see The Amish Outlaws again. 🙂 I’m also ready to enjoy good sushi and Thai food (though not on the same day, of course.)

Adjusting to my new life may not be simple, but I do think it will be awesome. And I feel so lucky to have supportive friends and family who want the best for me. I know that with the support system I have in place I can do this. I can move forward and rebuild what has been broken.

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  • Reply
    Heather A
    August 27, 2010 at 4:03 am



  • Reply
    August 27, 2010 at 4:56 am

    It sounds like you are shedding more than fat right now. Take the opportunity to focus on you. Spend your time in the areas you have control of & learn from the things you have no control over. Do that and all these experiences will strengthen, not weaken, you.

  • Reply
    Martine (email:
    August 27, 2010 at 5:03 am

    Darling girl,

    Someone is going to snap you up, look at that beautiful face. I never comment on your blog, sometimes I think you could be writing about me. Martine

  • Reply
    Deb Willbefree
    August 27, 2010 at 6:08 am

    You are wise and brave and strong.

    Taking broken pieces and making a new and better thing–that process always invites miracles.

    Have I mentioned that God–who really does love us unconditionally–loves doing miracles? 😀

    One step at a time, one piece a a time, and just watch, God will happen for you.

    Men's promises are cheap–God's cost Him His life. He won't let that go to waste; the price was too high.

    Have courage, Kenz. A song is going to come out of this that only you can sing.


  • Reply
    Shane G.
    August 27, 2010 at 9:54 am

    Kenz, I think returning to New York is probably the best thing for you. I didn't want to say it before because I didn't want to in any way try to tip the scale. I do believe that even though it is a tough situation right now there, some familiarity is better for you. Go say howdy to those Weight Watcher folks for me!!

  • Reply
    August 27, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    We've all had to start over at one point or another in our lives (for me, more than once!) I know you're going to get through it just fine. Keep your chin up girl…it's going to be ok. 🙂

  • Reply
    August 27, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Good for you, Kenz!! I'm glad to read that you're on your way back out of the depths. You are strong and will find success wherever you decide to be. I will keep you in my prayers, as always.

  • Reply
    August 27, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Hi Kenz, I was bummed to see that you unfriended me on facebook but I understand, you have a lot to deal with right now. I agree that going back to NYC seems to be a step in the right direction. You were so happy there! Good luck with everything.

  • Reply
    August 27, 2010 at 8:57 pm

    You are in my prayers. When I read your early blog posts and see how enthusiastic you are about NYC and everything you were experiencing there, I think you are making a good decision. I know that something really sad happened to you; you have boundaries about telling the story — but whatever it was, you can rebuild everything and it will be more wonderful than anything that went before. You have a future. Stay the course on the program. Become everything that you want to be.

  • Reply
    August 28, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    Good luck in NYC. I hope everything works out well for you.

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