As a nation, we talk about closure a lot, don’t we? We say we need closure after a break-up, an argument or after someone passes away…In our society, we want answers to our questions, and we long to feel complete. But I’ve noticed that I long for closure when it comes to food too. Isn’t that kind of strange?
Actually, I think it’s bothersome. Over the last few days, I’ve noticed that when I eat a meal it doesn’t feel complete unless I eat all of it. And even on occasions in which I finish my entire meal (for instance, sushi) I don’t feel finished until I consider what to have for dessert. I control my need for completion by serving proper portions at home, and when I’m out I do my best to ignore the urge to clean my plate. But how can I change my mentality? How can I learn to look at a plate that is still partially filled with food without feeling a need to eat it?
I’m not sure how to answer my own question, but I can tell you that I do control those urges more now than ever. I no longer order dessert after every meal though I do still order it sometimes. And while my first thought is that I should clear my plate, my second thought is usually a reminder to myself that I don’t need or want it.
I know I’ve come a long way, but I also know that I have a long way to go. I am confidently in control of my relationship with food, but I have to remain cautious. I realized over the weekend that I still struggle with “food closure” from time to time. Will it ever change? I think so…until then, I’ll just remain aware because self-awareness is just as important as closure.