Dating Love Relationships

I’m Just Not Ready

It has been a tough week, and I’m clearly not ready to discuss the personal things that have made it hard. I’m also not ready to discuss my string of failed relationships. Many of you have offered advice, and I deeply appreciate it. I suppose I’ll just focus on my weight-loss life and let love find me when it’s ready.

I haven’t had much of an appetite this week, but I have eaten anyway. And I have had a couple of excellent workouts so far with another one planned today. I love the gym I’ve been going to this week. It has everything I need – friendly faces, a nice cardio room and a giant lap pool.

I’m not sure when I’ll feel truly loved or wanted by another, but I will continue working on loving myself unconditionally. And maybe someday it will all click.

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  • Reply
    Nikke Brown
    November 12, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    I'm sorry you had such a hard week.

  • Reply
    November 12, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    It's okay. Sometimes it's best not to put it out there while the feelings are still fresh. It'll happen one day and the waiting will all be so worth it. I'd just given up on finding anyone and me and DH found each other. It happens that way sometimes. I've been reading for awhile but haven't commented much. You're a beautiful and wonderful woman. You deserve the best and don't settle for less than what you deserve.

  • Reply
    November 12, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    I wish I had some AWESOME advise to give you. But since I don't I will just have to give you an awesome((((((HUGS))))))) instead. Hang in there girl.

  • Reply
    November 12, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    I struggle with this too… and have been married twice to guys who admittedly never were in love with me… ( i am forever a good friend to one)

    work it out in the pool sistah. I think a lot of us women who have been obese feel this way. I knew how to rock weighing 380lbs and didnt expect much, its hard not to expect more after loosing over 150lbs… but I try to set that aside for now.

  • Reply
    November 12, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    Relationships are hard. Hugs to you!

  • Reply
    November 12, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    I think it will come together when you truly "get" the love of the Father for you. This song helped change my life.

  • Reply
    Deb Willbefree
    November 12, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Yes, Dearheart, someday it WILL all click. Sometimes life just hurts. It is during those times, I think, that we have the opportunity for the most growth. Well, when we crawl out the other side, anyway. Deb

  • Reply
    November 12, 2010 at 7:32 pm

    Sorry you are going through a tough time. But look at all your cheerleaders here. You obviously have MANY fans and friends. I hope you can lean on them/us when you need to. *hugs*

  • Reply
    November 12, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    My grandmother use to tell me "True love will come when the time is right….and right now must not be your time." I use to think she was just old and crazy…but she was right.
    I realize that it is frustrating and heartbreaking but you just need to have fun and live life to the fullest. Love usually happens when we least expect it. God has a plan for you and he will not allow anyone or anything to rush it. Many of us have learned this the hard way. I know I did….I tried telling God that I knew what was best for me not him. Until I learned that he was in control of my life and he did know what was best for me I had one VERY rocky life. Since letting go of the control… things have settled down and have gone so smoothly. With any thing I do, if it goes smoothly then GREAT but if there are any ruffles then I back off.
    This past year has been life changing for you in so many different ways. Just take one day at a time and enjoy that day.

  • Reply
    Ginger aka Gidget
    November 12, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    I found that when I was not looking for love, I found it. Sounds cliche but it was SO true. I was struggling when I met my husband. Did not think anything of it and now 15 years later, I am SO thankful. It will happen. Focus on yourself for a while, the rest will fall into place.

  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 12:45 am

    What Ginger said.

    When I met my husband back in 2008 I was freshly out of a disastrous, abusive marriage. I wasn't looking for anyone — all I wanted to do was take care of my sons and work on rebuilding my life.

    But he came. And he stayed. And since then he has proven over and over that although I didn't find him until I was closing in on forty, he was well worth the wait.

  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 1:20 am

    Hey, I was going to comment on your previous post but you deleted it. 🙁 All I can say is that it will happen when you least expect it and when the timing is right. And when you're ready, even though you may not think you're ready at the time.

  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 1:37 am

    I agree with the others. I had given up on meeting a good guy, and then there he appeared. I think you should focus on self-improvement/reflection/etc and then he will be there. That's the way it ALWAYS happens.

  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 2:08 am

    Love WILL find you, Kenz. In the meantime, give yourself the love you need. It's so important, and it's also key to making yourself READY to be loved by another. You are worth it!

  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 3:38 am

    I remember so well feeling this way. There are two things I would say if I were to give you any advice…be patient and pray!!! You will find that someone special when the time is right!!! I've been happily married now for almost 15 years and that's what worked for me.

  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 5:55 am

    No advise to give ya ..

    But here's a big ole hug


  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 2:24 pm


  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    When it is the right time and the right person, it will happen. I've been divorced a long time and I've been in and out of relationships. One even lasted 6 years, but when you find yourself making all the changes it's time to rethink the relationship. I know there's somebody out there who will accept me warts and all and I know there is somebody for you too! You are an amazing person and you deserve someone just as amazing.
    Don't get hung up on the when; it will happen when the time is right. Just stay open to the possibilities that life offers.

  • Reply
    November 13, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    Hey, Kenz, you're smart, you're nice, and doggone-it, people like you!


  • Reply
    I Said So...
    November 13, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Have you read the book So Long Insecurity?

    I wish I would have had it back when I was in the dating world. Hang in there. Love yourself. He will come.

  • Reply
    I Said So...
    November 13, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    Hey, I forgot to put the author of that book is Beth Moore (So Long, Insecurity).

  • Reply
    Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia
    November 14, 2010 at 2:53 am

    Funny thing I was gonna ask you about the other post that seemed to disappear…sometimes is not easy to understand it but all of the above comments are true.
    You are beautiful and funny and smart and one day you will find that person that makes you feel like a queen. I never thought I would get married after TOO many fail relationships, a mother that put me down constantly, I just didn't think I was worth it. Then he came along 🙂
    it will happen…and it will be magical. never stop believing

  • Reply
    Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia
    November 14, 2010 at 2:56 am

    Oh, and if you feel like reading get "God on a Harley" (believe me, is about dating) by Joan Brady. I would send you my copy but mine is in Spanish 🙂

  • Reply
    Genie @ Diet of 51
    November 15, 2010 at 12:38 am

    Love finds you when you're not looking for it; that's one of its weird quirks.

    Hang in there!

  • Reply
    Lance Balkus
    October 14, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    You are so wanted…. I hope life…. Doenst get easier, but it gets easier to deal with…. There is so much more, you are beautiful and you deserve to be SO HAPPY!

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