I was writing in my food journal moments ago, and I saw an advertisement for my favorite TV show, White Collar, which airs tonight on USA. And immediately I wrote, “I want to be sure to save calories for that!” And now I’m wondering why on earth that came to mind immediately. It’s embarrassing to admit that I’ve come this far and still think of snack foods as a companion to a TV show. I don’t watch a lot of TV (which is probably a good thing since it seems that I require a snack!) But this pattern of desiring food while watching TV is not new, and I’ve talked about it on my blog many times.
During the late seasons of Gilmore Girls then 24 (yes, there’s always one show that’s my favorite) I remember ordering Chinese food and grabbing a coke or Dr. Pepper because the show just wasn’t as good without Chinese food. And Chinese food wasn’t as good without a soft drink. It is no exaggeration to say that I often wondered how anyone could eat Chinese food without drinking a soda. It just seemed wrong!
Now I know that I can enjoy Chinese food without sodas. The idea that I couldn’t before seems ridiculous, and it makes me feel as though I’ve come a long, long way. That being said, how is it possible that my first thought when I think of watching a TV show or a movie is that I need to save calories for a snack?!
I can pat myself of the back for the forward thinking, but really Kenz?! How is it that you’re still unable to separate TV and food? It bothers me that my mind immediately went to popcorn when I thought of Neal Cafferey (my favorite TV character of all time!) And I’m not sure if I’m okay with it or not.
I’m glad I thought ahead. I’m also secure in the fact that I won’t overeat just because the show is on. But I’m disappointed that my mind still so closely relates TV and food. Is it okay that a TV show makes me want to snack as long as I have the calories to snack? I don’t think so, but I also don’t think it’s a reason to beat myself up.
My goal is simply to remind myself that I can enjoy a TV show without a bowl or popcorn or cereal or rice cakes until it’s as silly to me as the idea that I need Chinese food with soda to be fulfilled on a Tuesday.
It’s not easy to admit that these thoughts still fill my mind, but it’s important to admit if I want to change. And I do want to change…so there it is.