Friends Reflection Weigh-In weight loss

The Last Meeting

A few weeks ago, I expressed some trepidation about attending my old WW meeting in NY.  I knew it might be a bit uncomfortable, but I really had no idea that it would be so grossly disappointing.  There were a few friendly faces and a couple of people who were genuinely excited to see me, but for the most part it was filled with fake smiles and unkind words peppered with a couple of hurtful sneers by girls that I once considered friends who, for the record, didn’t even have the courage to tell me that they no longer like me to my face (or why.)

I’m happy to report that I weighed less than I did at my last meeting there, but I’ll formulate some thoughts on that in the coming days so I can be more specific.  Tonight, I just have to mourn the loss of what I thought I had.  I thought I had friends there that I’d have for life – friends that would take me as I am, forgive my petty mistakes and listen to my side of the story.  
I’ve known for quite some time that it was unlikely, and that did lessen the sting I felt as I faced people that I enjoyed countless days with for over a year – people who didn’t mind calling on me for help or a shoulder to cry on…people who were never motivated to exercise regularly until they entered my world.
It hurt to watch those people sit where I used to sit and laugh about secrets that I am no longer privy to.  The good news – yes, there’s good news – is that I don’t have to go back.  I learned a harsh lesson last night, but it was also invaluable.  
I learned that it’s okay to let the past rest.  I cannot change it, nor do I need to change it.  For months I moped around thinking that I needed that meeting in order to lose weight.  My heart truly believed that even though my mind knew better.  And in January, I started taking full responsibility for myself again.  I never stopped owning my choices, but I started owning my journey again.  
That group played a role in my success for a time, but they didn’t lose the 100+ pounds for me.  I lost 100+ pounds for me.  I made myself accountable through weigh-ins and through this blog.  And today, I take credit for the changes and sacrifices that I made to get where I am.  And I’m going to continue striving toward the goals that I have set in place personally without those people.
I’ll always care for a couple of them – the ones who hugged me immediately and asked when I’d be back.   Perhaps I will be back someday.  That meeting will always be where my journey began, but today I’m utterly thankful that it’s not where my journey ends. 

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18 Comments

  • Reply
    Angela
    April 15, 2011 at 3:57 am

    Kenz – I admire your courage and determination. It took a lot of courage to go back there and you did it girl! But as you said, sometimes its best to let the past be just that, the past. Here's to the future! I know you will rock it!

  • Reply
    Dizzy Girl
    April 15, 2011 at 4:08 am

    You have grown so much Kenz from when you started this blog…I was just thinking back to the day (almost 2 friggin years ago…can you believe it?) when I first came across your blog. You're right- this is YOUR journey, but you don't have to go it alone. While there are people out there that are disappointments, and we'll always find them in life- there are also a ton of followers and supporters in your life too who care about you and want to see you succeed (me being one of them). XO babe-

    D

  • Reply
    Karla
    April 15, 2011 at 4:10 am

    I went to WW'er meetings for YEARS!!! yo-yo'd like a mad mad women and I never felt comfortable, I did not feel like I "fit"

    I started WW'ers online and blogged starting 1/1/10 and it has been a wonderful wonderful journey. I am NOT a fan of WW'er meetings. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the old program but meetings…. er not so much!!

  • Reply
    Deb Willbefree
    April 15, 2011 at 4:32 am

    Wait. You're in NYC? Did I miss a post? When did you make the move? Somehow I missed your flight date, I guess.

    As far as the group goes, I'm very sorry that's how it turned out. So many sad things have come your way over the past year. I know you'll grow and learn from it, but it's still sad. You're right to let yourself mourn the loss, for that is what it is.

    And you're also right about the good news. Yes, it was never the group's power that lost that weight for you–it was you. Like they say, "Wherever you go, there you are." You will always have you…and a God who loves you.

    Prayers.

    Deb

  • Reply
    DesertNails8
    April 15, 2011 at 5:44 am

    About those people who used to be WW friends – I think in my daily life I constantly have choices to make on whether I am improving myself or just not trying (because it seems easier that way). It's clear from reading your blog that you are someone who keeps on trying and just keeps on getting better and better. Your writing touches many people's hearts and it's inspiring to see someone figure out solutions and work hard on accomplishing goals.

  • Reply
    MizFit
    April 15, 2011 at 9:53 am

    Im kinda with deb—WAIT YOURE IN NYC?
    how had I missed that too…

  • Reply
    Maria_NJ
    April 15, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Kenz, I hear ya loud and clear, I have done WW soooo many times, I swear, I can run my own dang meetings, this time around I was only going to accountable to the one person who controls the fork…me. I don't need to shell out $10 dollars to step on a scale. I have been doing it on my own for 6 weeks now and it is working. We control our destiny. ps, you don't need that negativity in your live…LET IT GO

  • Reply
    HS @ Our Debt Blog
    April 15, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Girls are sooo dramatic LOL… sounds like it's time to move on!

    HS

  • Reply
    Amanda
    April 15, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    It's hard when friends decide they're no longer interested in being a part of your life, but don't even have the courtesy to share why. Sneers and snide remarks are never okay, regardless of any impetus the offenders may believe they have.

    You have such an excellent mindset about this, Kenz. You'll be fine… and you're well on your way to it 🙂

  • Reply
    | PN |
    April 15, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    I am sorry that there are rotten people out there. But, I am so thankful that you did not let them get to you, to get under your skin, to steal your thunder!

  • Reply
    Kimberlynn
    April 15, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Hi Kenz…the great thing about WW meetings is that there are so many out there to choose from. I hope you'll not give up on the meetings completely.

    It sounds to me like these women were never truly your "friends" anyways. Don't let these petty women rob you of the support and encouragement found in these meetings. And I'm not just talking about the support and encouragement you NEED, but also what you have to GIVE!!! There are so many people filling these rooms that need what you bring to this journey.

    Be blessed!!!

  • Reply
    hillary
    April 15, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    im sorry hun it seems to be the way things are in general lately. People who you think are your good "friend" when in reality they are just talking shit about you and you thought they'd always "be there" for you. I experienced it myself lately. Seriously made me reconsider my idea of "friend"

  • Reply
    Roz
    April 15, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Sorry to read that the gang at your old meeting aren't the friends you thought they were. Yay you for not letting it derail your motivation and self esteem. You are moving forward on a NEW journey!!! And its going to be a good one!!!

  • Reply
    Splurgie
    April 16, 2011 at 1:14 am

    I did WW several years ago but stopped. I know that leaders make such a difference. Mine seemed to talk the whole time about points, foods (all processed foods, it seemed) and working the plan. I really wanted more about how to handle situations, temptations and goal setting. I'm doing better on my own. I never connected with anyone there.

  • Reply
    ♥ Shrinking Kenz ♥
    April 16, 2011 at 5:00 am

    It's okay Roz..I'm not really who they thought I was either, but I'm working on being better..and that's all I can really do at this point. I'm at peace with it.

  • Reply
    Missy
    April 19, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Just ran across your blog for the first time. I'm so sad to hear that you did not have a good experience going back to your WW meeting. I don't know the back story but WW should always be a welcoming place…no matter the bumps & bruises along the journey.

    Continued success as you work toward achieving your goals!

  • Reply
    Zepherine
    April 20, 2011 at 2:35 am

    I'm glad you realized that you lost the weight and not them. I think you would have been successful at any meeting because it was your time to lose the weight. You had set your mind to it and nobody can do that for you. Good luck on the rest of your journey.

  • Reply
    Foodie McBody
    April 25, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    I can't believe this. How disappointing and sad. I am truly sorry that this happened to you. You know that you have a world of support elsewhere, but how very sad this happened at your WW mtg.

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