Reflection Weigh-In weight loss

One Pound? Really?

This week has been pretty intense for me.  A few nights ago, I spent over three hours writing a post that I’m still too embarrassed/afraid to publish, and it was emotionally draining.  It has also been an up-hill battle to complete my workouts -actually, I’m struggling to believe I’m worth the effort to start the workouts.   Since Tuesday, I have completed a 5k, 50 minutes of aerobics and half an hour of circuit training.  These are good things, but I can do much more. I have improved, but I’m still outside of my “exerciseisapartofmydailylifeandiloveit” zone.  I missing being in the zone. It’s been hard.

And I’ve fallen into some other bad habits lately like eating (portion controlled amounts of) bread everyday.  I don’t believe bread is evil, nor do I believe that one must forgo all bread to be successful in weight-loss.  That’s just silly.   But it seems that while I’ve (mostly) squashed the relationship I formed with homemade trail mix last week, that I’m eating more sourdough than I should – even though it’s within my points.  This will change starting now.

I’m also not sleeping enough.  When I do sleep, I dream happy dreams.  One night this week, my dreams were incredible.  I dreamed about life in LA – almost exactly as it happened when I was there a few weeks ago, and I was thrilled to wake up to make it my new reality.  But I’m groggy.  My workouts usually change that, but this week they haven’t.  I’m still lethargic.  I still don’t feel 100%.  I have a lingering cough, watery eyes and a desire to sleep.

Whiny post so far, isn’t it?  I know, but I have to call attention to these things that I’m doing to myself if I plan on changing them or improving them.  I lost one pound this week, but I’m not celebrating.  Instead, I’m trying to move beyond this trivial crap to appreciate my improvements in the last several days so I can build on them in the coming week.

I didn’t get into gear with my workouts until Tuesday so it would be absurd to hope for a bigger loss than I had.  I know that to produce the numbers I want to see on the scale, I have to work at it.  There are bloggers who manage to lose astonishing amounts of weight sans exercise, but that’s not how it works in Kenlie’s world.  I have to eat right.  I have to sweat.  And in doing so, I find myself feeling a bit of pride even on the bad days.

This is not an episode of The Biggest Loser.  This is real life…my life.  I don’t need to lose 10 pounds a week to feel like a success, but I do need to do more than I’m doing. And I know that I have to push myself if I want to see the results I’ve grown accustomed to seeing.  I know I have to work harder, and I know it’s totally possible.  New success is within reach, and all I have to do is step up and take it.

Let’s take a moment to pat me on the back.  I lost a pound this week.  ::patting myself on the back::  Now it’s time to get serious.  I have to continue pushing through these struggles, just as I’ve been doing since Tuesday.

It’s a new day.  A new week starts now, and it is my responsibility to make it a successful one. I can be my own worst critic, or I can choose to be my own fierce advocate.  I think I’ll choose the latter.

How do you push through emotional and/or physical struggles?  What triggers success in your mind when trivial things threaten to stand in the way?

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15 Comments

  • Reply
    Alana
    June 3, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Great post. I am struggling with some of the same issues. I don't really know the answer, but I know we can do it. 🙂 Congrats on the pound! I was too much of a wuss to weigh myself today.

  • Reply
    Sarah
    June 3, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    You CAN do it, Kenlie! I think we all "hit the wall" sometimes, but you're right, it's mind over matter in jumping over it. And it's HARD! I'm with you…

    As for the people who lose a ridiculous amount of weight easily (my whole family), it is what it is. I know PRIDE because I work harder to achieve that feeling. I know strength before I have to be strong to reach those goals! 🙂

    Sarah @ Thinfluenced

  • Reply
    therunningjewess
    June 3, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    You can and will get through these feelings and back to your exerciseisapartofmydailylifeandiloveit zone, I guarantee it.

    Trivial things always seem to stand in my way, but I keep reminding myself this is a process. I won't be amazing tomorrow, but I'll be better. In a few months I'll be awesome, and maybe, just maybe I'll be amazing in a year or so. We all fall off the wagon at some points, just need the strength to get back on. And you, my dear, are plenty strong.

  • Reply
    losingitallandlovingit
    June 3, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    I really loved this post! Very honest & heartfelt, most people just post their daily routines and leave the emotion out of it. I really felt for you while reading this. We have a lot in common.

    I agree with out about how life is different from TBL & losing 10 pounds a week isn't realistic (or healthy!).

    I don't get psyched about losing weight until I take my measurements because that's a great way to see the real results. What's a number on a scale? It means nothing to me. Knowing my own dimensions is somehow more comforting & real to me. Maybe try that. You might discover you have lost quite a few inches! In 4 weeks of exercise, I've lost 17 inches from various areas of my body. A wonderful start, yes, but I still have a long way to go.

    When I am struggling to exercise or eat right, I try to visualize how much happier and at peace with myself I will be once I reach my goal. I keep that in mind, and I push through it. It was hard the first two weeks, but my blog has really helped me become more honest and realistic with myself and my goals & it's all helping out a lot. I'm no longer letting small setbacks ruin my day or my diet or my exercise plan, I just keep going. It's hard with 2 little kids (a crazy hyper 3 year old mama's boy & a 6 year old girl with a disability – notttt easy!) but I keep doing it. Like I said, it took time and determination & patience and it hasn't been easy but I'm seeing awesome results 🙂

    Good luck & keep trying, you'll get there!

  • Reply
    KCLAnderson (Karen)
    June 3, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    ::::pat pat pat::::

    I push through by first allowing myself to feel whatever it is…and I say it out loud. "I am frustrated!" "I am struggling here people!" "I feel annoyed and prickly and ugly!" Once I just allow myself to feel it, instead of resisting feeling it, the feelings start to dissipate and my head clears a bit.

    I think you're doing a fantastic job!

  • Reply
    Melissa Wolf
    June 3, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    Wait a minute. Let's look at the facts…Since Tuesday you have completed a 5K, done aerobics and circuit training, lost a POUND of fat http://www.a3bs.com/Obesity-Eating-Disorders-Education/1-lb-Roll-of-Fat-W43109O,p_1208_346_1164_15484.html, done important reflective journal writing, planned a big upcoming transition in your life (a move across country etc) and no doubt helped motivate and inspire others via your blog and tweeting, all while getting over a cough/cold? I see nothing but AMAZING success and strength here!! Maybe you're just a bit down because you're so excited about L.A. and wish you were already at your ideal weight so you could start a totally new life there? If so, just know that it'll be a fabulous life out there at any point of your weight loss journey because YOU'RE fabulous. Celebrate yourself!

  • Reply
    Maria_NJ
    June 3, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Hey Kenz, first congrats on the 1 pound, that is fantastic!!! I have been following Rebbecca SuperGirlWrites and I am taking her words here: listen up missy…
    "Not long ago I considered 1lb a bit pathetic, I have MASSES to lose after all and so why couldn’t I do more than a pound? Well because I could do everything right and still not lose weight, it’s as simple as that. Bodies do what they feel is best for you at the time, I have to trust mine to do the right thing for me, take care of the food and exercise and the rest will follow when it’s best. A lb is actually quite a lot really, it looks gross when you see it. It has taken me 10 years to gain this weight, I’m not going to lose it all in one year, I get that, this is a lifetime effort now to get healthy and stay healthy."

    I have done the right thing for 3 weeks now and my scale is not budging. Just continue on the right path and the numbers will change when they want to….

  • Reply
    Tami @ ThisMomsDelight.com
    June 4, 2011 at 2:04 am

    Congrats on the 1 pound and best wishes on improving the areas you find you're lacking in.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 4, 2011 at 6:09 am

    1 pound lost is a million times better than 1 ounce gained. Don't lose sight of that and/or be so hard on yourself. Keep on keeping on Kenz!

  • Reply
    Kenlie
    June 5, 2011 at 5:06 am

    So true Anon…great perspective..thanks!

  • Reply
    Joanna
    June 5, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    I know exactly what you mean and exactly what you’re going through. I’m struggling the same way… but, also, just like you – I’m working through it and trying to pick things up.

    I am so excited – and a little jealous – about you moving to L.A.!! I can’t wait to hear all the fantastic stories about it. I remember when I visited there a few years ago. When I came home, I spent months trying to make a move to L.A. feasible- but just couldn’t do it.

    The beach, the farmers markets, the celebrities, and the gyms….it’s a paradise for a person trying to lose weight. 🙂

  • Reply
    Carrie
    June 5, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    {{Pats you on back}} 1 pound is still 1 pound gone! I struggle with getting my scale to move in the right direction even though I’ve been working out and sticking to my 1200 daily calories religiously. I just keep telling myself that I didn’t get this way overnight nor will I get to my goal overnight either. I try to celebrate every small victory, even if it is not eating those hot, homemade chocolate chip cookies my DD14 makes!

    I’m now a new follower!

  • Reply
    MB
    June 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Yay! You are one more pound closer to your goal. THat is something to celebrate.

    I would just keep focusing on how far you have come and keep the faith that the longer you keep at it the more likely you will learn the lessons needed to keep it off permanently. That’s what I’ve been trying to do, working the slow and steady plan. We will get there and it will all be worth it. Keep up the good work! Rock on!

  • Reply
    aggie in illinois
    June 7, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    I love your blog… congrats on the pound. I’ve been doing WW since March 2009 because I needed to lose 50 pounds. I lost almost 40 and gained some back and am trying again. Keep it up!

  • Reply
    martha
    June 14, 2011 at 7:50 am

    Hello! I am a fellow east coaster and wonder if you are not feeling some allergies? It can make you feel the way you have been feeling and never even know the reason. just thinking. hope you feel better.

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