This week has been pretty intense for me. A few nights ago, I spent over three hours writing a post that I’m still too embarrassed/afraid to publish, and it was emotionally draining. It has also been an up-hill battle to complete my workouts -actually, I’m struggling to believe I’m worth the effort to start the workouts. Since Tuesday, I have completed a 5k, 50 minutes of aerobics and half an hour of circuit training. These are good things, but I can do much more. I have improved, but I’m still outside of my “exerciseisapartofmydailylifeandiloveit” zone. I missing being in the zone. It’s been hard.
And I’ve fallen into some other bad habits lately like eating (portion controlled amounts of) bread everyday. I don’t believe bread is evil, nor do I believe that one must forgo all bread to be successful in weight-loss. That’s just silly. But it seems that while I’ve (mostly) squashed the relationship I formed with homemade trail mix last week, that I’m eating more sourdough than I should – even though it’s within my points. This will change starting now.
I’m also not sleeping enough. When I do sleep, I dream happy dreams. One night this week, my dreams were incredible. I dreamed about life in LA – almost exactly as it happened when I was there a few weeks ago, and I was thrilled to wake up to make it my new reality. But I’m groggy. My workouts usually change that, but this week they haven’t. I’m still lethargic. I still don’t feel 100%. I have a lingering cough, watery eyes and a desire to sleep.
Whiny post so far, isn’t it? I know, but I have to call attention to these things that I’m doing to myself if I plan on changing them or improving them. I lost one pound this week, but I’m not celebrating. Instead, I’m trying to move beyond this trivial crap to appreciate my improvements in the last several days so I can build on them in the coming week.
I didn’t get into gear with my workouts until Tuesday so it would be absurd to hope for a bigger loss than I had. I know that to produce the numbers I want to see on the scale, I have to work at it. There are bloggers who manage to lose astonishing amounts of weight sans exercise, but that’s not how it works in Kenlie’s world. I have to eat right. I have to sweat. And in doing so, I find myself feeling a bit of pride even on the bad days.
This is not an episode of The Biggest Loser. This is real life…my life. I don’t need to lose 10 pounds a week to feel like a success, but I do need to do more than I’m doing. And I know that I have to push myself if I want to see the results I’ve grown accustomed to seeing. I know I have to work harder, and I know it’s totally possible. New success is within reach, and all I have to do is step up and take it.
Let’s take a moment to pat me on the back. I lost a pound this week. ::patting myself on the back:: Now it’s time to get serious. I have to continue pushing through these struggles, just as I’ve been doing since Tuesday.
It’s a new day. A new week starts now, and it is my responsibility to make it a successful one. I can be my own worst critic, or I can choose to be my own fierce advocate. I think I’ll choose the latter.
How do you push through emotional and/or physical struggles? What triggers success in your mind when trivial things threaten to stand in the way?