Emotions Reflection

Ten Reasons It’s Cool To Be Single

Yesterday I shared my thoughts on being rather dateless lately, and several of you left extraordinarily supportive, hope-filled comments suggesting that I focus on myself and the positive aspects of being single.  (For the record, I don’t sit at home feeling sorry for myself for not having a boyfriend. I like my life.)

I’m going to attempt to make a list of the positives now so here they are, in no particular order:

1. Moving across the country is easier because my only responsibility is for myself.  I can also take last minute vacation for a week with a friend just because without explanation or causing jealousy.

2. I can go to sleep with the TV on every night if I want to, or I can turn it off…no one else gets a vote. And I don’t have to rationalize sleeping with a ceiling fan on even though I’m freezing under three big blankets..which I am..every night. =)

3. No one leaves the toilet seat up in my bathroom.

4. Flirting is totally acceptable.

5. I can watch Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss and gush over Neal in White Collar, and no one rolls their eyes at me. Note to future boyfriend: You will not come between Neal and Me, but I’ll let you watch the show with me every Tuesday night as long as you’re quiet and don’t block the TV! 😉

Neal from White Collar...hot!

6. I am my biggest priority.  I have time to concentrate on myself and my health.

7. I’m not affected by anyone else’s eating habits on a regular basis.

8. I can stay in and watch college football all day without pressure to go out on Saturday night instead of staying in, eating a big sandwich or sushi and watching important games.

9. I’ve learned that I can be handy.  I’m pretty good at putting things together, and I can get rid of bugs when I need to.  I still believe that eradication of bugs should be a guy’s job, but I digress.

10. I have a clean slate – a new opportunity to be the best version of myself and to be someone I’m proud to be.

I still can’t honestly say that being single is the best thing ever, but it does have some major perks.  And, in case it’s not blatantly obvious, I’d rather be alone than be with someone just for the sake of not being alone.  I have always believed that’s a silly reason to date someone, and I don’t say yes every time someone asks just because he asks.

I am a work in progress, and I feel like another light bulb has come on in my head.  I am happy, smart, friendly, driven, compassionate and determined. I have a family that loves me and friends that are awesome.

I can’t control the future, but it looks bright.  And while I always hope to grow and improve, I’m thankful for  my life just as it is today.  And that feels good.

What do you think? Did I cover everything? Would you add anything to the list?

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34 Comments

  • Reply
    Grace @ Healthy Dreaming
    June 23, 2011 at 4:12 am

    I’m not single but I did enjoy reading your list! I live vicariously through my single friends’ lives.

    1. The excitement of meeting someone new for the first time and getting to know them (and vice versa).
    2. Having more time for yourself

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:35 pm

      Those are great additions too! =)

  • Reply
    Miz
    June 23, 2011 at 5:43 am

    I always tell people that for me getting married was finding someone FINALLY who was worth giving up being single and solo.
    I LOVED BEING SINGLE for the independence and dowhatIwant of it all.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:36 pm

      You’re so wise…and this comment is going to help me reframe my thoughts on being single..big time. Thanks Miz!

  • Reply
    Colleen @ Goodbye, Fat Girl
    June 23, 2011 at 7:08 am

    It’s been so long since I’ve been single but one thing I might add is that you could sleep on a Saturday or Sunday and not feel guilty that your boyfriend/spouse is up cleaning the house already!

    I love that you are accentuating the positive in your life!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:37 pm

      Hahahaha…sounds like you found a good one! He cleans! He cleans! Awesome! =) I usually keep things pretty tidy myself..:)

  • Reply
    Sara
    June 23, 2011 at 7:40 am

    I love the list! I think you put it together nicely! Keep on thinking positive girl and know that when the time is right God will put an amazing guy in your life. Well at least thats what I am holding out for haha 🙂 Love your blog btw!!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:38 pm

      Ha…thanks Sara…it’s nice to know someone understands. =)

  • Reply
    Michelle
    June 23, 2011 at 7:43 am

    This is great list 🙂

  • Reply
    Joanna
    June 23, 2011 at 7:56 am

    I would change #8 to: I CAN go out on Saturday night, alone with my friends, and not feel guilty that my spouse is at home taking care of the kids.

    LOL…I try to have a girls’ night out every once in a while – and while Hubby is pretty anti-social, I still feel guilty about leaving him home.

    Oh – with that, I would add: I can accept invitations to parties and functions and go without being asked, “why did your hubby not come with you?” Then trying to think of the best answer without it sounding like my Hubby hates everyone. LOL

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:39 pm

      LOL Joanna….believe me, I have had my share of nights out alone with friends even when I had a boyfriend. I think that will always be important to me. Leave the anti-social guy at home, and you go – guilt-free! =)

  • Reply
    Michelle @ The Running Jewess
    June 23, 2011 at 8:00 am

    I can spend as much time as I want with my guy friends and not be concerned that I’m making someone else jealous or uncomfortable. I have more male friends than female, so this one has always been troublesome when I’m in a relationship.

    And you are definitely correct, never settle for someone for the sake of not being alone.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:41 pm

      This portion of my life is the first time I’ve had as many girl friends and guy friends…and I think you’re right about that! I’m quite sure that any boyfriend I had wouldn’t have been very supportive of me hopping on a plane with my super hot, super tall, all-around awesome male friend, Kent, last month…haha So true! =)

  • Reply
    Dominique
    June 23, 2011 at 8:33 am

    You nailed it! 🙂

  • Reply
    Tammy
    June 23, 2011 at 9:18 am

    It’s interesting to hear from the other side! I never really did any of that when I was single – my sisters will tell you that I was too much of a goody-two-shoes to even go to clubs or stay out very late. Really, it’s because I’m uncomfortable in crowds of people – especially people I don’t know. I lived with my parents and sisters until I got married, so I don’t know what it is like to be completely on my own. While some aspects sound appealing, I’m not sure I would like it – I’m a scaredy cat. I would probably need a roommate!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:42 pm

      Living solo is awesome Tammy! =) But anyone would be lucky to have a roommate like you! <3

  • Reply
    sorryaboutyourweight
    June 23, 2011 at 10:09 am

    I think I’m fortunate to be in a relationship where most of the items on your list still apply to me. I left my partner a state away to go to grad school. It hasn’t been easy, but we’ve always respected one another’s independence and dreams. I completely agree with “I’d rather be alone than be with someone just for the sake of not being alone.” I used to be the girl who flitted from relationship to relationship because I didn’t feel comfortable enough to be alone. Now, in this relationship, I’m more myself than ever! I think that’s what the best relationships are, anyway.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:43 pm

      Moving a state away is tough, but doable…moving 3,000 miles away presents different challenges, but hey..it’s all about what’s best for each of us. =) Glad most of my list still applies to you!

      • Reply
        sorryaboutyourweight
        June 23, 2011 at 8:53 pm

        Moving 3,000 miles away would be nigh impossible! Then again, I can’t imagine moving so far from my family, either.

  • Reply
    HS @ Our Debt Blog
    June 23, 2011 at 11:52 am

    I actually watch the Say Yes To The Dress show with the wife, I don’t mind at all, I actually find it entertaining lol

    Also don’t worry about being single, that beautiful smile will take care of everything 😉

    HS

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:44 pm

      You probably watch the show due to your mid-life crisis…;) And thank you mister! That’s a sweet thing to say…=)

  • Reply
    Lisa
    June 23, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    ~envy!~
    I keep telling my family that I’m going to take the dog and one cat, move to the mountians and become a hermit.
    I joined the Navy right after high school so whenever I lived off the ship, I always had roommates or X number of people at my place. When I returned to civilian life, I had a 2 1/2 year old. I never got a chance to really be on my own.
    So I will live vicariously thru your posts! {hugs}

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:45 pm

      Being on your own is awesome, and I think everyone should do it. That being said, the Navy?! I’m pretty sure we all know you can take care of yourself! Thank you for taking care of us too! =)

  • Reply
    Amanda
    June 23, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Great list!

    I learned that it was better to be just plain alone, than to be with someone else and still feel lonely. That’s about the worst.

    And being able to watch TLC’s Friday night lineup without commentary from the peanut gallery? Priceless!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:46 pm

      TLC = a-w-e-s-o-m-e! That is all.

  • Reply
    Sarah
    June 23, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    I like your reasons. Honestly, I feel the same. I would love to find that right guy, but I love that I only have myself to depend on and I can get up and go whenever I want! I like your college football reason. I feel that way too and the same for MLB. I also like that I can watch these games without someone talking over the announcers and acting like they should have been or still could be a college/pro athlete!

    Sarah
    notaneffingdiet.blogspot.com

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm

      I think it’s hot when a guy talks trash during a game because I do it too. 😉 Oh, and uh…go Yankees! =)

  • Reply
    Melissa
    June 23, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    You are awesome…you know that?
    By the way, I also love Neal and White Collar 🙂

  • Reply
    Tammy
    June 23, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Great list Kenlie. I think between you and the previous comments, the list is pretty much covered. I’ve been married for just about 13 years (I’m amazed at how fast the time has past, it seems like maybe six years) to the most wonderful man. I still have the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want whenever I want. However, being married I now have to think and care for his needs so sometimes doing what I want may inherit some guilt (e.g. I want to spend all night on my computer, but I should spend some time with hubs to watch television). My sister was my roommate for the first eight years after I moved from home and then I was single and on my own for about six months before becoming engaged. Enjoy the time you have now doing whatever floats your boat…it won’t be long before your handing over one of your oars to your partner. You’re beautiful!

  • Reply
    Me....online
    June 23, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    I’m kind of “late to your party” so to speak as I just recently discovered your blog. I have to tell you though how impressed I am with your determination, honesty, success, journalism, etc. etc. Plus you’re gorgeous!!! Not fair. You have been an encouragement to me as I am trying to get off my butt and lose it. Thanks for sharing.

    Regarding your list…..enjoy yourself. You’re great. Relish in spoiling yourself and getting to know the things that make you happy and fulfilled. It’s a lot of fun and also makes you even more attractive to others. Confidence is the biggest magnet and you have nothing not to be confident about. Just flash that smile and enjoy being you.

    By the way, I’m married but that “White Collar” guy is totally hot. How have I missed that treat? 🙂

  • Reply
    Amy
    June 23, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Additionally…

    -You can style your apartment however you want. I am recently single (after living with a guy) and making my kitchen pink JUST BECAUSE I CAN.

    -Reuniting with friends that you lost when you got wrapped up in your relationship

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 23, 2011 at 11:02 pm

      A pink kitchen?!? I LOVE it! I’m thinking of making mine teal!

      The second one doesn’t apply to me because I MUST have time with my other friends anyway, but it’s a good point too!

  • Reply
    Sara
    June 23, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    I agree with all 10!! One hundred percent. I like being single. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want! I have no one to “answer” to. And it annoys me when people say “I wish you’d meet someone nice”. My reply is “I meet lots of nice people on a daily basis”, and of course I get “I mean, someone you can date and have a good time with” My reply?…”I’m sure I’m having a better time not being tied down to someone just for the sake of being with someone, thankyouverymuch”. I don’t get why more people have a desire for me to be in a relationship than I do! Mind ya business!

  • Reply
    Tiny
    March 29, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    I can sleep in the middle of my bed!

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