I’ve kept 100 pounds off for over a year now, and I’ve added a little more to my total loss in the last 12 months. I’ve continually weighed myself and tracked my food intake – only a little more than half the time, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a steady and progressive move downward. That has to change because I want it to change.
For some, weight-loss is simple, at least that’s how they portray it. The entire industry and some people in it, would have you believe that losing weight is easy, but in my experience it has been pretty complex. For me, there’s a lot more to it than “eat less, burn more.” If you’re nodding your head in agreement, keep reading because this is not the end of the story. It’s MY responsibility to keep trying, and it’s my responsibility to figure out what will work to take me to the goals I’ve set for myself.
I’ve lost enough weight to know that with a little consistency (counting calories…points…whatever…) I can lose weight, but the complexity comes in when I think about why it’s so hard for my mind that accept that my body doesn’t need as much food as it craves. I know that when I don’t overeat, I feel better. Not only do I feel happier with myself, I also feel less bloated and lighter on my feet. And I know that when I workout, I feel better – usually only a few minutes into it. But there’s a battle of wills going on in my head, and the strong, health-minded girl who was winning needs to take control again.
Instead of detailing where I went wrong (I’ve been doing that for months so check my archives if you’re curious) let’s talk about my plan to go forward. I know that I should find a new Weight Watchers meeting. Being so transient in the last several months has made it nearly impossible to attend meetings, but in a month or so, I’ll be able to rejoin. No, Weight Watchers didn’t lose the weight for me, but the meetings did keep me accountable regarding the numbers on the scale. Like I said, I track my intake on e-tools most of the time, but I don’t track it as closely as I did when I knew I’d be stepping on the scale for someone who would then write it down and keep it in a little book. Is that a character flaw? Maybe…but what’s important is that I recognize what I need and do it. I’m not a failure unless I give up, and that my friends, is not going to happen.
But I don’t want to wait until I can rejoin Weight Watchers meetings to lose a substantial weight again. I want to see results sooner than that, and I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can.I can. I can. I can. I can.I can. I can. I can. I can.I can. I can. I can. I can. The question is….what am I going to do to make that happen?
I’m going to take it one day at a time, and I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to keep searching for an answer to why I think about and desire food so much more than my body needs it. I’m going to keep looking for an answer to why I eat properly half the day then find myself willing to toss it out of the window at the end of the day. And I’m going to keep reminding myself that the power to change belongs to me. I am going to do better today. And I think I’ll start posting my weight on my blog instead of only posting the pounds lost. Brilliant, right? I know…Look for a new weight record soon.
I’m going to keep working through these complexities inside my head. I’ve said this many times, but it’s just as true today – losing weight isn’t always easy, but it’s so worth it. I am so worth it. And I post on this blog nearly everyday because it’s cathartic. I post here in the hopes that I’ll find the answers that I’m looking for with a healthy dose of support from those of you who take time to read it.
My journey has been filled with ups and downs, and I won’t make apologies for it. I’m just going to keep trying. And hey, if losing weight really was simple, it wouldn’t make a very good story would it?
Today is a new day, and I’m ready to face it…I think…Wish me luck…