Friends Guest Post Lifestyle Reflection weight loss

Shopping Insecurities? Anyone?

Two if my favorite topics are food and shopping so my friends have come through for me in a major way by talking about such fun topics this week!  Today’s post was written by my friend, B, or  Brooke: Not On A Diet.   And I consider myself pretty lucky to know her (and her super awesome B-fry.)  I hope you’ll check out her blog because I love it, and I know you’ll love it too!

I know they probably want me to stand between them during their upcoming wedding ceremony, but they're too embarrassed to ask. 😉

So, while Kenz is getting things ready for her lovely Uncle Wesley, she let me crash the place! If you don’t know me I’m Brooke from Brooke: Not On A Diet! Over there I blog about my pretty awesome life, my 100+ pound weight loss, and my amazing fiancé B-Fry!

I’ve been doing this blogging and weight loss thing for a couple of years now. There have been times of awesome blogging and periods where I was quiet for weeks. Times where the weight fell off and times that it didn’t. Posts about binge eating, and even a post about my lack of a booty. You should really stop by; I hear it’s a great read. 😉

Even though I have lost over 100lbs, I still have my insecurities. There are still times where I feel like that 327lb girl who let her weight hold her back. The girl who would do anything to not have people notice her weight. The girl who would dye her hair some crazy color so that was the first thing people noticed instead of all the excess weight.


Notice pretty hair, not the fact that the clothes I’m wearing are the biggest size I ever had to buy. Ugh.

When I was that size I wouldn’t dream of walking into a store like Victoria Secret or even a JC Penny’s. There was no way they would carry a size as big as mine and I wouldn’t wanted to be waited on some skinny girl who would just judge me for the way I looked. I avoided those stores like the plague and instead shopped at Lane Bryant or CATO where I knew they’d have my size and the workers weren’t stick thin. I knew I could walk into those stores and not be judged.

Then I lost weight. I got to a size where I wouldn’t have to shop in a specialty store. And even bought a shirt in a store that didn’t even offer plus sizes. I’m still super apprehensive about shopping in those stores though.

There’s still a part of me that is afraid of getting judged, that I’m still a plus size gal. It’s a total mind thing that’s sometimes very tough to work through. B-Fry helps a lot though and calms me enough to work through those thoughts and to enter stores I never imagined I would.

Just the other day B-Fry and I were shopping and I said I needed some new bras. The mall we were at had Aerie (American Eagle’s intimates store) and B-Fry suggested I try there. Well, I got that sick feeling in my stomach because I was worried I would go in there and they wouldn’t have my size. And when I would walk out of the store the employees would all start snickering. I told B-Fry I didn’t want to, that I was positive they wouldn’t have my size.
B-Fry talked me into going in and when I entered the door I was still scared. But then I was greeted by one of those dreaded ‘skinny girls.’ I was certain she would be the first one to snicker at me. But guess what, she didn’t! She was actually an extremely big help and they even carried my size! I walked out of there with two bras and a chuckling B-Fry because he was right.

I’m slowly learning to get over my fear of those stores. When I do enter them I usually end up having the time of my life because I can now fit into a lot of their clothes. I now no longer have to be the girl with crazy colored short hair. Instead I’m the girl who can buy a dress off the rack at Target and rock awesome hair.

The girl who now welcomes the attention from the ‘skinny girls’ who are jealous because I’m hot and have even hotter man candy on my arm!

If you’re someone who had lost weight are you ‘afraid’ of those stores?
If you’re just beginning your journey, do you avoid those stores?

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22 Comments

  • Reply
    Kris
    October 26, 2011 at 12:33 am

    I love how you used funky colour to draw attention to things other than your weight – before I lost my weight, I had mousy brown hair and hid behind it!

    I used to have the hardest time walking into boutique type stores – when I first lost weight, I had no idea what size I was, what would fit… it was so frustrating! I wasn’t afraid, exactly, I just had no clue what would look good on me, or how to find things that would fit. I hated clothes shopping, because when I was a 22/24, finding clothes was always an experience that left me in tears – I hated shopping in general. It’s easier now, but those memories definitely stay with you.

    Great post!

  • Reply
    Kenlie
    October 26, 2011 at 1:54 am

    I go into stores like Victoria Secret, but I feel ridiculous about it. There are certain stores like Abercrombie that pain me to enter, but I go…just with anxiety…

    Someday it will be different, and I’m closer now than ever…

  • Reply
    dad
    October 26, 2011 at 7:59 am

    what a great blog post!!!!!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 26, 2011 at 12:14 pm

      You’d love B Dad! She’s a-w-e-s-o-m-e!

      • Reply
        BrookeNotOnADiet
        October 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm

        Awe! Thanks Kenz! I puffy heart you!

        • Reply
          Kenlie
          October 26, 2011 at 2:07 pm

          Likewise B. Big..puffy…hearts…

  • Reply
    Pam
    October 26, 2011 at 10:00 am

    Hi Brooke–Followed you over here from your blog. I guess I should be addressing Kenlie, since this is HER blog, but you wrote today, so I’m addressing my comments to you.
    When I first was able to shop in regular stores, I felt out of place, and was always afraid people were looking at me wondering what I was doing there. It’s hard to remember you’re not that really FAT person anymore. It’s hard to realize that when people see me today, they don’t even know, for 30 years I was morbidly obese. But it is SO FUN to shop now! I can’t stop. I have so many new clothes, my closet is bulging and hubby is complaining about the bills. I now walk proudly into Dress Barn, Christopher & Barnes, J.C. Penney, Younkers & Kohl’s, and buy my clothes from the regular misses sections. At Penney’s, the other day, a sales clerk looked at me after I told her I was looking for a certain item, and said, “A medium?” A medium??? What???? How about a 5X (which is the size I used to wear)? How could I be a medium? But I am. It’s hard to get used to, but I’m getting there. ENJOY your shopping. What fun to buy a wedding dress from the regular sizes! Can’t wait to see those pictures!!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 26, 2011 at 2:08 pm

      That would be awesome Pam! I haven’t experienced that yet though I’ve experienced some awesome changes so far…=)

  • Reply
    auntiekim
    October 26, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Thanks Kenlie for letting Brooke post!

    Brooke, I can so relate to this post. It just reminded me that I’d drafted a post, but never hit publish, about the last time I went shopping for clothes. As of today I’ve lost 95 pounds and I hardly have any clothes that fit since I’ve given most things away. I no longer need to shop in plus sized stores, but that is where I’m most comfortable and always head there first. My husband keeps insisting that regular clothes fit me now and that I don’t realize my true size, but I always have an anxiety attack when I go shopping. I feel completely overwhelmed and, if left to my own devices would turn around and walk back out. My husband is a champ and pulls clothes off the rack in my size and gives them to me to try on LOL. Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without him. I’m happy Kenlie introduced you to us.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 26, 2011 at 2:08 pm

      I’m thrilled that Brooke posted……i seriously thank her….

      And your hubs sounds like an awesome guy…just like B-fry! 😉

    • Reply
      BrookeNotOnADiet
      October 26, 2011 at 4:50 pm

      B-Fry does that too. He gets me to try on things I never would imagine looking good on me.

      Your hubby rocks! And I’m uber glad Kenlie let me crash! She’s awesome!!

  • Reply
    Nina Patricia
    October 26, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Great post. There are certain stores (Aberchrombie*cough*) that I won’t even go in for me. What’s the point in you are not a size 0? Great post

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 26, 2011 at 2:09 pm

      I had to go in a few years in a row to buy gift cards, and I seriously dreaded it though it was never as bad as I thought it would be.

  • Reply
    Dominique
    October 26, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Awesome guest post! Admittedly, I avoid stores where I know I cannot fit into their clothes. I often find myself saying, “I cannot wait until I’ve lost enough to be able to shop here.” It’s sad, but at the same time, somewhat motivating.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 26, 2011 at 2:09 pm

      I do that too sometimes. Why bother going in to see beautiful clothes that wouldn’t fit me anyway?

  • Reply
    Tim
    October 26, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Hi Brooke, great post!

    I’m still on my journey to lose weight but I nearing my overall target goal so I am constantly buying new clothes to fit my new body size. It’s funny because I still avoid the shops that never used to have my size because, and this might sound a bit silly, I feel like I should be loyal to the shops that were always there for me at my biggest.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 26, 2011 at 2:09 pm

      Aw Tim, that makes sense in my head too.

  • Reply
    Dani
    October 26, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    I’m so there, I hate shopping and get all hot just thinking about it. Great posts and love the crashed site. Now I may stay a bit longer and check it out. 🙂

  • Reply
    Jodi
    October 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    I have lost over 160 lbs and I am in medium sized clothes and it does still make me nervous when I go into those stores! I will never forget going in to Victoria’s secret and the sales girl offered to measure me. I started to sweat profusely because I felt like I was “too big” to be in here….well I was. I was a 34 F which they don’t carry. She suggested I try a 36 DD instead which worked great and is not a little big in the back on me. I was still weirded out the entire time. It almost felt like candid camera. I wonder when this feeling goes away?

  • Reply
    Laura
    October 27, 2011 at 1:37 am

    Hi Kenlie! Thanks for having Brooke post! Hi Brooke! I have recently lost about 125 pounds (within the past year) hoping to bring that number to 155 pounds lost. I’m 30 years old and ever since I was about 18 (when the weight really started increasing) I stopped shopping for “fashion” and only shopped for something to hide in. My go-to has been jeans and a tee-shirt for my entire adult life! Oh, and sneakers. On the inside I have always been a major girly-girl but on the outside I was feeling down right androdgynous. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to wear nice clothes – it was that I felt so disgusted with myself, that when I wore nice clothes I felt uncomfortable. I also didn’t want to draw ANY attention to myself, which nice clothes tend to do. Anyway, now here I am, back at/close to the weight I was in high school, prior to gaining all the weight – and I want to dress like a girl again SO *SO* bad.. and I’m finding I am completely CLUELESS. AND – I have become so used to my everyday outfit (jeans, tee-shirt, sneakers) that I don’t really know HOW to wear anything else but (on a daily basis anyway). I have ventured out of my comfort zone a few times for certain events/occasions, but by and large my everyday outfit is still the same. I WANT to dress more girly on an everyday basis, but I don’t know how! Anyway sorry to ramble – I definitely feel apprehension when walking into regular stores. I feel completely out of my element. Several times I have even found myself wandering over to the plus sized sections in places like JcPenney, even strangely hoping that the smallest “plus” will fit me with a little room to spare. Because I “knew” how to dress myself when I was plus sized. The mission was simple: Cover as much as possible, draw as little attention to myself as possible, and be as comfortable as possible. Now that I am in regular sizes and still shrinking (albeit it at a much slower rate these days) I just have no idea how to dress. I still gravitate toward jeans and tee-shirts even though they are no longer a very good “fit” for me. They are my “safe” choice, but they do my body NO favors at all. I love all of the choices I have as a “regular size” but it’s also very overwhelming and stressful! I wish I knew how to dress in all the cute clothes regular-sizes have to offer. I wish I even felt like I was *able* to wear more form fitting clothes! And I think I will ALWAYS feel self-conscious in those stores.

  • Reply
    Kerri O
    October 27, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    I totally feel you. I find I don’t ‘see’ myself as I am now. I ordered some stuff online from american eagle, in an XL, and it’s too big. Like, way too big. I have no idea what size I am and for some stupid reason I’m terrified to go return them. Ya, afraid of shopping.

  • Reply
    Courtney Gosvener
    November 6, 2011 at 1:20 am

    This is an interesting discussion, going to have to reread the comments in the morning….

    I have been size 24 for about 5 years now. I have lost weight and regained it so I will say 24 even though I was down to 20 a couple years back. It wasn’t until recently that I started realizing how much I missed “dressing hot”. I used to have a lot of fashionable clothes and shopped at Lerner NY (NY&C). But why I find this discussion so interesting is that when I was “skinny” I used to think “OH they won’t have my size!!!!!” seriously! I was 165–size 14 all through high school. I was OBSESSED with size 10 or 8, but never could achieve it. So even though I “could” shop in stores like Victoria Secret or JCPenney or Aeropostle or whatever other stores were out there I felt “fat” at that size. OH what a rude awakening I have 10 years later! What a waste of life back then…and what a waste of life now letting myself get this big! But I think I have a unique view on 165 now. I see people upset to be 165 and while it may not be size 10…it’s a lot better than size 24!!! I CANNOT wait to get into size 20…No joke. It’s just 1 step on my larger goal but I no longer loathe certain sizes! I embrace it and if I can get a size 20 sexy little number I am going to do it because I deserve to look good!

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