Emotions Reflection weight loss

(I Wanna Be) Like Mike

Last week a blogger posing as someone else again (who probably forgot that I had already flagged their IP address) left a mean-spirited message on my blog suggesting that I accept my failures and stop trying to lose weight or give up and have surgery because I have “wasted the last year of my life.”

This person also suggested that I seek therapy (thinking that I’d take that as an insult.)  And while I haven’t mentioned therapy in detail, I have mentioned that I am back in therapy, and I think it’s a great idea for anyone who struggles with emotional eating, food addiction, etc.  The person sending the nasty messages that went directly to my spam folder could, no doubt, benefit from therapy too.

And one thing that I’ve learned in therapy (over and over again) is that I control my mind.  And with that, I have to power to adjust my behavioral habits.   And one of the most important things I’ve realized this week is that extraordinary people fail over and over again.  Sometimes they fail hundreds of times before they succeed, and sometimes they fail and succeed and fail again and succeed again.  And I was inspired by someone who knows all about success and failure this week, Michael Jordan, so I’d like to share of few of my favorite MJ quotes…

“I can accept failure…everyone fails at something.  But I can’t accept not trying.”

“If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

And most importantly…

“If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.”

So while it’s aggravating that people sometimes say harsh things and do harsh things to make themselves feel better and/or just to be cruel, their opinions do not define me.  Their opinions define them, and that’s not my problem so I’ll just keep trying to fix me. 😉  This journey has been filled with ups and downs, but it’s far from over so don’t look for me to give up any time soon.

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61 Comments

  • Reply
    Ryan Yewell
    October 18, 2011 at 2:16 am

    Since there’s some quotes going on here, I thought I’d add one of my favourites… 🙂

    “We cannot always do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” – Mother T.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 18, 2011 at 3:43 am

      I love this quote Ryan…I’m thankful for you!

  • Reply
    Nina
    October 18, 2011 at 3:33 am

    Don’t let people like that bring you down. There are many many many people who are out here in the peanut gallery that are fighting the good fight with you and need your voice! Again, when I found your blog I was so excited because FINALLY there was someone I could relate to and made sense. (Again to the point that I find myself embarrassed and over-sharing in the comment section more than I should.) I get how hard this is and I am not sure why someone … especially a fellow blogger … would say stuff like that, except that they might not feel OK with their truth and need to feel better than others, by hiding behind fake names and pointed comments, etc, etc. (Of course it says way more about them and their damage.) Unfortunately, when you speak up there are always going to be those people … and you just have to know that you are amazing and you are giving your all and it’s more about being the healthy you than the scale. If you stay on this path you will get to your goal … and you are a success already. I am not pro or against surgery, but I know at this point it is not right for me. I know I have chosen a longer path with no net. I have more than a year gone now … ~70 down … and at least 150++ to go. It’s not fun. It’s not easy, and what is easy is to just give up and quit. I wish I was at whatever my me weight is already. I am falling down and getting back up every day lately. This is real. I am happy that you show it all … it helps me get back up after a rough summer … another week and month. Hope you are OK and happy and realize that these type of folks are not the majority of your readers and what matters is how you feel about you, and not our thoughts even. People project so much on others … I do it, everyone does. I am glad you can filter it out and not let it bring you down.

    XOXO,
    Nina

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 18, 2011 at 3:45 am

      Oh Nina! You’ve come so far, and you totally understand where I’m coming from which makes me so thankful that you’re here…lending support and encouragement.

  • Reply
    Tim
    October 18, 2011 at 3:40 am

    I’ll be honest, I’ve only seen Michael Jordan in Spacejam (he was amazing in that! Ha) but for a guy to achieve so much just shows that this guy is an amazing human being capable of a extraordinary things. I like to think that we all have a bit of Mike in us and are able to also push ourselves and discover that we are also capable of achieving great things. Obviously we might not be able to get to his level but we can all succeed in our own personal goals we’ve set ourselves by being positive and by believing in ourselves. Like Jordan, we’ll find that we’ll hit huge walls on our journey but as long as we don’t give up and pack our climbing gear then we will one day overcome any obstacle in our way.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 18, 2011 at 3:46 am

      Oh Tim………Kelly and I have so much to teach you……sigh……….

      But you’re right…we all have the potential to be like Mike even if we’re never world-renowned, basketball power house champions like he is…:) We all have to start somewhere, and he did too.

      Thanks for that reminder.

      • Reply
        Tim
        October 18, 2011 at 9:16 am

        I support someone in basketball but can’t remember who…..umm Greg Ostertag played for them years ago. Utah Jazz I think? Anyway, they were my team on NBA 98 on the playstation so I supported them since. They’re better than the rubbish team Kelly supports. You can tell her that next time you see/speak to her (only cos I’m afraid to say it to her) hehe

        • Reply
          Kelly, Future Thin Girl
          October 18, 2011 at 10:08 am

          Oh British Tim . . .shaking my head.
          I’m a hardcore, die hard Michael Jordan fan. The Bulls were my team in the 90s. And yes, I know it’s very easy to be a fan of a team when you have Jesus Christ with a basketball playing for them. =)
          We are all capable of doing amazing things, Kenz. Never ever forget that.

          • Tim
            October 18, 2011 at 10:47 am

            Ahhhhh I forgot you can read this!!! LOL did I say rubbish? I meant great 😉

          • Kenlie
            October 21, 2011 at 2:14 am

            I won’t forget it Kelly. With friends like you, it would be impossible…

  • Reply
    Becca
    October 18, 2011 at 5:11 am

    Ouch! I too have been here in my main blog when I used to write about my weight there but thankfully the spiteful nasty piece of work doing this hasn’t come back again. Some people just are not happy unless they try to bring others down. The abuse I got was at the worst possible time too and if anything it has made me more determined.

    Weightloss for many of us, me included, will be a lifelong battle.

    Don’t forget where you started! So what if you aren’t the perfect size you would rather be? You’ve come a long way and don’t let that put you off. I still have fat days but I know I am nowhere near what I was 2 years ago. Don’t let this someone upset you.x

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:15 am

      I know you’re right Becca. I’m making great strides now in my weight-loss as well as my personal and professional life, and that’s the stuff that matters.

  • Reply
    Chantelle
    October 18, 2011 at 5:14 am

    Love this post, I have been in and out of therapy since I was teen and am a huge advocate of it! In Ireland its still considered taboo even though there are so many campaigns to look after your mental health (duh, of course the two are related).

    I think weight loss is totally a mental process, its changing behaviour that leads to success and that is the hardest thing to change! I think everyone who loses weight deserves a huge pat on the back because it is a huge challenge but not unsurmountable. Its a long journey but its the discoveries we make on the way and not just the numbers on the scale that count!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:15 am

      I’m a big fan of therapy…I need it, and that’s okay with me. I’d rather work out what’s in my head than live a closed off life in which I spew hatred online. Good for us!

  • Reply
    marthabilski
    October 18, 2011 at 6:50 am

    Nice post:) I needed to be reminded that failure is a part of success. and that I need to keep trying to get over my own walls.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:16 am

      Yep, it is…thank you for saying it so plainly. It’s true.

  • Reply
    Jennifer S
    October 18, 2011 at 7:29 am

    YOU are already like Mike… Let the haters hate you are already 2 steps ahead of them!

    AT 40 pounds and stuck I have wondered if I should have gone the surgery route. What stopped me is that I do not eat when I am hungry. So I fight harder, learn more and try try try. Living the lifestyle is not easy but I am worth it. Happy Tuesday!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:16 am

      I wonder why you don’t eat when you’re hungry…Hmmm…keep working on it Jennifer! We can both do this..

  • Reply
    Becki
    October 18, 2011 at 8:18 am

    I’m sorry that there are angry, bitter people out there. You are a wonderful person. You work hard, have the vest in sites and make me feelmgood every time I read your blog. You for being you and keeping me inspired everyday.n

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:17 am

      Thanks Becki! Thanks for being here!

  • Reply
    Momma Hunt
    October 18, 2011 at 8:28 am

    Very well said. I have spent the better part of the last year working on my eating issues and general life issues and it is hard ass work, but much needed. I love how people suggest that by going to therapy and loosing weight slowly and sometimes not at all is some how a failure. Let me tell you there are times where I am not loosing any weight and am working damn hard. I am working not to binge, I am working on how to appropriately handle my emmotions, I am working hard and not hiding from the world in my food. I may not be loosing but I am working my ass off. Anyone how has a significant amount of weight to loose knows that this is journey in which we decided every day to fight…and sometimes we fight without seeing our results but nevertheless everyday that we get up and make good choices for ourselves is a step in the right directions. Loved your post!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:17 am

      Keep fighting friend!

  • Reply
    Brooke
    October 18, 2011 at 8:47 am

    Ironic, I was just thinking this morning about if I had not reached my weight goal for this cruise (I did though!) how would that have affected my journey. I came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t have. I would have kept trying. I feel okay with setting a goal and not making it, but I don’t feel okay with never setting a goal. Goes along with your first quote. Trying is the main step. I think its basic psychology that when someone opening attacks you about something they are displacing their own feelings. It helps me to find my empathy for them. I never ask for people to feel sorry for me and my weight issues, but a simple human emotion, empathy. Not everyone knows what it is like to being overweight, but the majority of people know what it feels like to struggle with something. People who have no empathy…kinda scare me.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:18 am

      Yep…we should all have empathy…and congrats on reaching your goal! =0)

  • Reply
    Jodi
    October 18, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Whoever wrote that is a very troubled person and I feel sorry for them….but not enough to NOT want to kickbox them if I met them in person…

    I love this post!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:18 am

      I just adore you Jodi! Thank you for being in my corner!

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    October 18, 2011 at 9:31 am

    Haters gonna hate… or something like that.

    My friend (Jodi) directed me over here because she hated that someone did this to you. I love your attitude about it, and you are 100% right. It defines them, and not you.

    And since we are sharing quotes I’ll give you the one that has been getting me through the last couple of weeks. “Sometimes you have to walk toward your goals when you really wanna run.” Another blogger’s daughter told her that while they were discussing her mom’s dreams of writing a book. She’s in third grade. The daughter, not the blogger. Anyway… I thought it was brilliant and I repeat it to myself about 50 times a day.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:19 am

      Wow…beautiful quote, and it’s one that I’ll post for myself now. Thank you for being here and for sharing it!

  • Reply
    Lisa
    October 18, 2011 at 9:48 am

    Mean people suck. They deserve to be in the spam box.

    Kenlie, you have a whole LOT of people who follow you and your journey because you’re a beautiful, positive, real person and a total inspiration.

    Keep up the good work! {{hugs}}

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:19 am

      Yep…spam box or black listed…either way, they’ll have to spew hatred elsewhere!

      Thank you Lisa! 🙂

  • Reply
    Jenn
    October 18, 2011 at 10:42 am

    I like how you acknowledge that you control your mind. I’ve been pondering this concept recently and realizing that I have taken a very passive role in my thoughts and beliefs regarding myself. I have been held captive by long ago established beliefs and habits. I have always thought that I would always be overweight. It never seem possible to me that I could be “normal.” I have tried so many diets, but I think I was doomed from the start because of my doubt and fear. I am on a truth seeking mission. I want to see myself as God sees me. My self worth or value has nothing to do with my physical body. In addition, He wants me to have freedom from the hold that food and body issues have had over me my whole life.
    I launched a new effort two months ago involving a healthy whole food diet, everyday movement and emotional support. It is going very well. I’m down 27 pounds and my attitude is great. It helps to have encouragement and regular conversation with my husband and my best friend. She and I are reading through Joyce Meyer’s book Power Thoughts right now. It is all in my mind and I am learning how to harness it for good and not evil.
    Thank you for transparently sharing your journey with me. It is so helpful to read about others who have been where I’ve been and also encouraging to see people loosing large amounts of weight naturally. It can be done!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:20 am

      Wow! Congrats on your new lifestyle and your weight-loss! That’s fantastic!

  • Reply
    Jen B
    October 18, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Seriously. People are so rude. Brush it off. You are a great person who is trying hard. Its hard to put yourself out there on a blog–I give you credit. I bet the commenter wouldn’t have the guts to write a blog and spill it all out.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:20 am

      Thank you Jen!

  • Reply
    Morgan
    October 18, 2011 at 11:13 am

    You cannot even begin to fix what is wrong with people like that, but you are so far into working on who you are that you are already a success, regardless of what anyone else says. That is the dark side of writing so honestly about what is going on in your life on a public blog – some of the public really sucks! But you have enough positive support to remind you that those mean comments aren’t really about you.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:21 am

      Internet attacks aren’t new to me…and sometimes they hurt, but I know that I can’t please everyone. And I’m here to be the best version of me..thank you for supporting me Morgan!

  • Reply
    DesertNails8
    October 18, 2011 at 11:38 am

    My dad is abusive and says it’s good for me and that he’s trying to help. Someone trying to blame me for their poor behavior doesn’t make sense. Now I can easily see how messed up his thinking is in many ways.

    I like how you keep on making efforts to be healthy and healthier. I struggle with making continuous efforts and better choices, so when I read about your efforts it’s encouraging! So, thank you for sharing!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:22 am

      Screw that…….my dad should have a big talk with your dad about how he’s flat wrong. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that, but I’m happy that you know he’s wrong.

  • Reply
    Gail @ Shrinking Sisters
    October 18, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Isn’t it funny how people think that “therapy” is some sort of slap in the face? Working the head thing out with a therapist is one of the best weight-loss tools ever. I go every week and all we work on is my weight loss. A person can talk food all they want, but if they don’t get their gray matter right, it’s never gonna happen.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:22 am

      I know, right? Excuse me for trying to make myself better…Good grief…ha

      You’re so right Gail…

  • Reply
    Stephanie O
    October 18, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    What is with some people? I’m impressed by your response – yay, you!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:23 am

      Not sure….Thanks for being part of the awesome people!

  • Reply
    BrookeNotOnADiet
    October 18, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    Rude people are lame! You know you’re awesome! And you’ve hardly wasted a whole year. This is a journey that takes awhile. And you’re rocking it!!

    Love ya Kenz!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:23 am

      Love ya back B! Miss you too! Just saying!

  • Reply
    Mary O'C
    October 18, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    I love the fact that you do not let a nasty blogger get you down. If he/she feels that way, why even read your blog? Just to be mean-spirited? Thank you for being so honest in your blogs. I look forward to reading your thoughts. They are, often times, my thoughts too.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:24 am

      They seem rather obsessed with me and/or watching me fail. I know I’m not that interesting so not sure why they’d think so, but hey…to each their own, I guess. They’ll just keep going to spam. =)

  • Reply
    Donna
    October 18, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Good for you…I have found your blog to be quite inspirational and like most other people…you have good days and bad and aren’t afraid to share them. Keep in mind that people who take the time to send nasty things have their own issues that they should be taking the time to deal with….it always says more about the other person then it does about you. Keep up the good work and as always, enjoy your voice.
    Donna

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:25 am

      Thank you Donna! This comments means so much….and you’re so right.

  • Reply
    Lynn M
    October 18, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    I have not written on my blog for over two months because of a rude comment, and it just made me so sad, I had to abandon it for a bit. I know that if you put yourself out there you have to expect that kind of thing, but I still want to have faith that the people in the blog community are supportive. I will have to grow thicker skin, when I decide to get back to blogging again.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:25 am

      It has definitely helped me grow a thicker skin, but where there’s one jerk, there are hundreds of amazingly supportive folks. I’m so thankful for those!

  • Reply
    Nina Patricia
    October 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    I’ve learn that those people with unkind words usually have a lot more issues than I do. You should always be proud of what you have accomplish without resorting to the easy way out. I don’t condone it (my hubs may have to have surgery) but I prefer the old fashion way.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:26 am

      Thanks Nina…I don’t think any way is “easy” though I do think you have to deal with what’s inside your head to be successful long-term. Time will tell if I’m right. 😉

  • Reply
    Twix
    October 19, 2011 at 12:09 am

    I like the first quote, awesome! 🙂

    Dweebs don’t know how to show love.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:27 am

      Ha..dweebs get blacklisted here!

  • Reply
    Joshua
    October 19, 2011 at 9:05 am

    I want to thank you for writing this. This may sound odd, but in a way, it makes me feel better that other people struggle with the same things I do. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this.

    Randy Pausch said, “Brick walls let us prove how badly we want things. They let us show our dedication.”

    Thanks for being an inspiration to so many people!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:27 am

      You’re not alone Josh…not. at. all. And I’m glad you’re here!

  • Reply
    KCLAnderson (Karen)
    October 19, 2011 at 11:09 am

    As I like to say, everything is progress even when it doesn’t feel or look like progress…even when it feels like the opposite. Sometimes it feels like progress and success can (or should) only be seen on the outside and so comes the need to “prove” something. I strive to remember that oftentimes, the greatest progress is internal. 🙂

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:28 am

      The greatest progress has definitely been internal for me, and I believe it’s more important than losing 200 pounds….thank you for reminding me Karen. You’re one of my biggest inspirations!

  • Reply
    Linda J
    October 19, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Hey gorgeous girl – I love your vibrancy and determination.

    I hope you can take the energy from the negative commenters and transform it into ongoing strength to achieve your goals.

    a fan from Sydney Australia 🙂

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      October 21, 2011 at 2:29 am

      Thank you Linda! =)

  • Reply
    Bella
    October 22, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    I love this post and couldn’t agree with you more. I get a few bad apples posting from time to time trying to advise me about how to lose weight, what I’m doing wrong, etc. The thing they don’t get is that it’s MY journey, not theirs. Just like it’s YOUR journey, not theirs. I’m so glad that you aren’t letting someone’s mean comments get to you. I really like those quotes from Michael Jordan, too.

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