Daily Archives: January 6, 2012

No More Boyfriend For Kenlie, (Or Dear Penny, I Want A Bravo)

Many of you are probably familiar with the bravo stickers that Weight Watchers leaders give out when their members do something good, and next Thursday, I’ll be collecting at least one.

Cal and I broke up today.  Well, it was official today, and we discussed it  just before my weekly weigh-in so I walked into my meeting trying not to burst into tears.  And yeah, that lasted until someone said hello.  I let it all out before the meeting.  I cried, weighed in then cried more.  Oh, and I’m down 3.4 pounds this week which exceeded the two that I hoped to lose so I’ll definitely take it.

Anyway, after feeling rather miserable during the meeting (I honestly can’t even tell you what it was about) I went to dinner with some friends who were talking about hitting the gym.  I typically do not workout on Thursdays so I drove home.  And as I was changing clothes I decided I’d hit the gym too.

As a treat to myself, I paid for a day pass to Peak Performance, the fancy gym with the awesome ladder, and decided to sweat until I felt better.  And I did sweat – until they closed.  See Penny?  I deserve a bravo!  (If you read my blog, you may already know that Penny is my WW leader…)

Only halfway through my workout...

Instead of turning to food this week, I’ve stayed on track.  I’ve exercised everyday, and I’ve tracked my food.  And I feel better about myself when I do that so I’m going to continue doing it.  I’ll be in New York for the next week, but I’d like to show at least a 2 pound loss a week from now so I’ll have to be mindful while I’m there too.

So back to the break-up.  I tweeted about it today, and I changed my relationship status on Facebook. (That makes it official, right?)  Anyway, I didn’t share many details, and I probably won’t.  But here’s the short version.  I care about him, but we decided (together) that he isn’t really what I need.  Unfortunately, I changed my mind, but he didn’t.  He wants to be friends, still wants to see me, etc.  But I don’t know if I can do that.  I don’t know if I want to do that.  As I said, I care about him, and it was nice while it lasted.  I got to say everything I wanted to say to him, and I don’t have a single regret about our short time together.   That’s probably all I’ll say about him.

So it’s been a long day, and I have some packing to do.  I’m flying out at an ungodly hour so my plan is to rest as much as possible tomorrow while accomplishing a few things – including another sweaty workout.

I read a quote that inspired me this morning so I’m going to share it with you…

“The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.”

I can’t make someone love me or want me or miss me, and I can’t make “Mr. Right for Kenz” appear in my life (as much as I wish he would.)  But I can continue working toward becoming who I want to be.  Last year was hard, and this year I’ve decided that, hard or not, I’m going to do what I need to do for myself.  I’ve already (re)started, and I think we all know I’m not going to quit.

I hope your day was better than mine, but I was reminded, as I often am, that there are so many people around who care about me.  Thanks for that…