Dear Future Mr. Kenz

I’m writing this letter to you because it makes me hopeful that you’re out there somewhere.  And lately, in my dreams, I find myself talking to you even though I can’t remember your face when I wake up.   Do we  know each other?  If we do, I don’t realize it yet so fill me in if you figure it out first, okay?

I want you to know everything about me and love me anyway, but let’s start with the basics.  I’m smart (though probably not as smart as I think I am.)   I’m strong-willed, and I don’t give up even when things get tough.  That will be good for us, won’t it?

As we get to know each other you’ll probably notice that I can be emotionally needy.  Seriously, Future Mister Kenz…I need more assurance than the average girl, but I’m trying to work through my insecurities so maybe it won’t be an issue by the time we find each other.  If it is, love me anyway, okay?   And speaking of finding each other, I’d love it if you found me.  I’ve looked for so long!  And people say that love finds you when you’re not looking so…maybe you can find me when I’m not looking?

I’ll also need you to kill spiders, take out the garbage and keep my feet warm when they’re freezing (which happens pretty often.)

And you don’t have to love Pearl Jam, but I need you to respect the fact that I love them, okay?  We’ll probably find common ground in music because my taste runs the gamut, but look…I’ll watch action movies with you if you go to concerts with me.

Now let’s talk about the important stuff…It’s  extremely important to me that you want me.  (You know, want me) in addition to loving me so show me often, okay?  I want to be the subject of your desires.  How could it be any other way if you’re in love with me?  And you have to be faithful to me too.  (Insert zero tolerance policy here.)  Right now, I’m in my early 30’s, and I’d rather stay single forever than to have my heart broken by someone who doesn’t love/want me as much as I want them.

And I don’t really care what you do for work as long as you do something that you’re good at and enjoy.  You don’t have to wear a suit and tie everyday either, but I’ll think it’s hot if you do.  And I hope you clean up well because I do, and we should look good together, right?

Oh! And speaking of being hot, you should know that I’m on a journey to look and feel better than I’ve ever felt before.  I pay attention to what I eat, and I exercise several times a week.  And while I might be at my goal by the time we fall for each other, you have to understand that this will always be an important part of my life.

I don’t drink everyday, and I cannot stand cigarettes.  I’ve gone through a lot to get where I am, and it would be amazing if you’d join me in running a 5k or a 10k or maybe in doing a triathlon.  I mean, I’m not asking you to love it as much as I do, but I hope you’ll embrace fitness.  When I’m in a race, whether you’re participating or not,  will you please try be there at the end to take a picture of me?  (Yes, I can be vain like that.)  And I take pictures of everything so get ready for that too.

There’s also something that you need to know.  I love designer handbags, sunglasses, clothes, etc.  You don’t need to know the difference between Michael Kors and Prada, and you don’t need to buy it or understand why I wish to carry an Hermes bag that costs about 5 grand.  It’s just something that I dream about, and I intend to make it happen in the future so you may want to start wrapping your head around that now.   I try not to put on heirs, but I like pretty things.  And for the record, I don’t think it has to be designer to be lovely.

You should also know that I have a few girlfriends that I loved long before you came into the picture.  Don’t worry.  I’ll introduce you, and we’ll all be friends…But sometimes I’ll want to spend time with them without you.  I’m independent, and that’s probably something you’ll like about me.  I just have to be sure we’re clear.  You can spend time with your friends or enjoying your hobbies too, but it will be fun to eat dinner with you most nights and to kiss you in the mornings.  You’ll probably just skip the pedicures, shopping for clothes and stuff like that.

Oh, and it doesn’t matter how much we love each other, I won’t share my toothbrush with you.  I just think it’s gross.  I almost always have spare toothbrushes because I replace mine often, but if we ever need another toothbrush, we’ll just go to Walgreens or something. Deal?

I read a lot, and sometimes I feel like singing.  And you should probably like my voice because “sometimes” is pretty often.  Maybe we’ll sing duets.  I also like to knit and play Scrabble (though I hate the Scrabble dictionary and refuse to use it.)  And I love almost every show on USA Network.  My favorites right now are White Collar, Suits and Necessary Roughness.  Maybe they’ll create another amazing show that we can DVR and watch together someday.

My family is important to me.  I love them with my whole heart, and they love me back.  And though Mom might take a little time to decide whether or not she likes you, they’ll all love you as long as you love me.

I won’t be perfect.  I’ll make mistakes (and try not to repeat the ones I’ve made in the past.)  And when I realize that you’re the one, I’ll do what I can to keep you.  I’ll be fiercely loyal.  I’ll  treat you with respect, always expecting it in return…I’ll cook for you (sometimes) and rub your shoulders when you need to relax. I’ll remember how you like your coffee so I can make it for you and listen to you when you’re frustrated and offer my support.  I’ll spend time with your family, pick up your clothes at the dry cleaners if they don’t deliver, and I’ll laugh at your jokes because I “get” you.

I deserve to be loved fully and completely and just as I am just as much as the next person.  I haven’t always understood that, but I do now.  And I’m looking forward to the day that you realize the same thing, and I can’t wait for the moment that I look at you and “just know.”

So maybe I don’t know you yet, but I already love you.  And I can’t wait wait to kiss you good night.

Until then….

 

 

 

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47 Comments

  • Reply
    Kelly @ No Thanks to Cake
    January 24, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Awesome letter. Love. It.

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  • Reply
    Caylie
    January 24, 2012 at 3:04 am

    I love it!
    I wrote about 4 letters to my future hubby, between the ages of 16 and 23. Little did I know, I would meet the man a few shirt months after the last letter.
    I can tell you, knowing who those letters are for is amazing.
    You’ll find him, Kenlie. Like you wrote, they really do find you when you stop looking. Trust me. After I wrote the last letter, I put it away, and decided it was time to focus on me…
    5 months later, my hubby walked into my life.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:28 am

      I really like your story…Thanks for sharing it Caylie…

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  • Reply
    Steelers6
    January 24, 2012 at 7:23 am

    I’m not Mr. K, but I read it anyway. Neat letter, Kenlie. I think you will both enjoy reading it someday. (After your wedding.)

    Wishing you the absolute best,
    Chrissy

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:28 am

      Haha…no Chrissy, but I adore you anyway…

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  • Reply
    Marion
    January 24, 2012 at 7:47 am

    I’ve been married for 23 years. My husband does not meet all of the qualifications above. Some of these things about understanding designer handbags etc… are gal friend, sister, and daughter stuff! (If you can sort these wants out to the right people, and not expect the guy for this, it’s better.) But, in his guy way, which I will never really understand, he has shown me over and over that he cares. He is now balding and has a little gut, but I have thunder thighs and some wrinkles, so we match.

    🙂 Marion

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm

      Actually, I said he doesn’t have to understand those things….He’ll just have to know that I like them..

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  • Reply
    auntiekim
    January 24, 2012 at 10:14 am

    Great letter! He’s definitely out there somewhere. You may have even met him already. Who knows. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. You’ve got that part right for sure.

    I worked with my husband for years before we started dating. He was married and I was engaged and there was zero flirtation. We were coworkers. We both ended our relationships over the years and then later started dating. I almost said no because I couldn’t imagine dating my friend. I’m so glad I said yes. We married when I was 38. The timing was perfect. Don’t lose hope!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:29 am

      Maybe I’ve met him..that’s been in my head a lot recently, but if I have, I don’t know it…so……:)

      And Kim, I’ll never lose hope. =)

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  • Reply
    Eliza
    January 24, 2012 at 10:35 am

    Build it and he will come!…BEAUTIFUL letter Kenlie. Very inspirational.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm

      Hahaha…love this comment. Love it!

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  • Reply
    Jodi
    January 24, 2012 at 11:59 am

    I have to say this: I hope this guy is straight. My husband couldn’t tell you a designer if Ralph Lauren jumped off his polo pony and slapped him in the face. He would be like okay what do you do? Oh you make shirts sounds great have you seen the score of the game?!

    Love you girl!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

      Actually, I said he doesn’t have to know the difference…

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      • Reply
        Jodi
        January 25, 2012 at 9:56 am

        You are totally right ! Glad you aren’t looking for a gay man! Good to know! LOL I do think someone will love you for you. I hope whoever he is he is a nice guy…. thats my number one. Is he nice? and my number two is funny! I like nice and funny!

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  • Reply
    MO
    January 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    Kenlie – great great letter!!!! Put it away, forget about it and he will find you!!! Very cute!

    MO

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  • Reply
    Latina Barbi
    January 24, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Kenlie – God didn’t place my husband in my life until he felt I was ready…he will come to you! MUAH!

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  • Reply
    Tara
    January 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    Am I the only one that thinks this is not only a great letter to the future Mr. Kenz but more importantly this is a fantastic letter to yourself. Something that Red and I talk about all the time is the fact that we were willing to “accept” whatever came a long just to feel some kind of love. It wasn’t until we finally learned to love who we were as individuals did we realize we deserved more and in the end found each other.

    That love for yourself will keep you from “accepting” whatever comes along and only accepting the one that is perfect for the lovely, fierce and insanely beautiful Mrs. Kenz.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

      I love you…that is all.

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  • Reply
    Jane
    January 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Hang in there and you will find him! It took me a while to find my perfect Mr, but I got there! After giving up on men in general, I found him on EHarmony! Go figure!

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  • Reply
    Audrey
    January 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    What’s so neat is you really know yourself. You know who you are and what you’re hoping to find in another person. I think that’s awesome 🙂 Now turn around so he can sneak up and surprise you 🙂

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:31 am

      Knowing myself has been one of my biggest life challenges, but I’m definitely getting there…and that feels good.

      ::turning around now::

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  • Reply
    Ima Bovine
    January 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    This is a great letter and I love the comment that this is more for you than him. These are all such wonderful and important relationship ideals. And you deserve nothing but the best. I know I don’t know you but just from reading your blog I can tell that you are a good, good soul who deserves only the best that life has to offer.

    When I met the Bull, we were both in other relationships. We were in law school together and part of the same study group. Friends for a full year before one intoxicated night things heated up. And now 15 years, 4 calves, 4 dogs, 4 cats and hundreds of goldfish later…here we are …most days still madly in love with each other (not everyday mind you, just most) and he loves me at 150 pds or 25o pds. Your Mister really may be right under your nose and you don’t even realize it.

    Love your blog Kenlie.

    PS if I were going to have another calf (which I am not, but if I were) and that calf was a girl, I would name her Kenlie…that is the coolest name!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:31 am

      Thanks so much for being here…..and that’s such a sweet compliment…a baby calf…hehehe

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  • Reply
    Laurie
    January 24, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    This is fantastic. Writing down what you want gets your mind and heart attuned to what you’re looking for – and I believe it also helps the universe help you out.

    True story, I wrote a list when I was in my early 20’s. I forgot about it until I had been married for a year. When I found it and read it, wouldn’t you know, my husband fit it perfectly.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:32 am

      Beautiful.

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  • Reply
    Shannon
    January 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Any man would be blessed to have such and amazing woman in his life! You deserve every bit of what you wrote and more 🙂

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:32 am

      Oh Shannon…I love every comment I receive, but I get so excited when I see you here…xoxo

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  • Reply
    Sarah g
    January 24, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    This was on my facebook feed today. Pretty fitting. :). Great post!

    I don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomac. I’m far from being considered a model but, I’m me. I eat food. I have curves. I have more fat than I should. I have scars. I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, some hate me. I have done good. I have done bad. I love my Pj’s and I go without makeup and don’t get my hair done. I’m random and crazy. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. I won’t change!! And if I love you, I do it with all my Heart!! I make no apologies for the way I am.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:33 am

      I don’t know if I agree with everything from the quote…I don’t love my PJ’s, and I’m trying to change (albeit for me,) but I appreciate the sentiment. =)

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  • Reply
    Tim
    January 24, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    “I’d rather stay single forever than to have my heart broken by someone who doesn’t love/want me as much as I want them.”

    After experiencing that myself recently, I can probably agree with this. Although saying that, I’d love the opportunity to really want someone again. I miss the butterfly feelings in my stomach when I see someone.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:34 am

      Oh Tim….I know…I understand…and I feel the same way….You deserve a girl who will love you and be faithful to you, and if there’s someone out there for me, it seems that there should be someone out there for you…xo

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  • Reply
    Thursday's Child
    January 24, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Aww, I just want to hug you right now.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:34 am

      I love hugs so come on…;)

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  • Reply
    Heather Forcey
    January 24, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    I just love this! He’s going to be a lucky man when he finds you!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 25, 2012 at 2:34 am

      Thank you Heather!

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  • Reply
    BrookeNotOnADiet
    January 29, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Oh Kenz I love you! And I REFUSE to ever share my toothbrush with B-Fry. ICK! 🙂

    And your Mr. Kenz is out there….I just know it! <3

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  • Reply
    The Truth About Love
    February 14, 2012 at 12:00 am

    […] and I deserve to be loved.  I’m open to it, but I’m not looking for it.  Remember Future Mr. Kenz….I want you to find me! […]

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  • Reply
    Lisa
    February 15, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Love the letter. I’d say take out the “kill spiders” part… 🙂 I am terrified of spiders and my boyfriend screams when he sees them too! UGH! 🙂

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  • Reply
    I Have My Reasons
    June 5, 2012 at 12:45 am

    […] to find love.  After all, I’m making these changes for myself – not for the benefit of  ”The Future Mr. Kenz” that I’ve mentioned in the […]

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  • Reply
    Lance
    October 8, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    I can do all of these… I hope to.

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  • Reply
    This Is My Life, Not Yours…
    March 14, 2013 at 12:00 am

    […] wouldn’t be on my agenda at this point, even if I had already fallen in love and married The Future Mrs. Kenz whom I’ve discussed here […]

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  • Reply
    Online Dating: Bait and Switch?
    March 20, 2013 at 8:58 pm

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  • Reply
    Annabel
    August 11, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    I used to have a list in my head of the type of guy I wanted to be with. It seems women are big on lists 😉 But then I met a man who didn’t match the list – not very much at least – and thank god for that and thank god I wasn’t too attached to the list anyway. He is everything I never knew I could even dream of. At the risk of sounding like a complete cornball, seeing the way he loves me has encouraged me to find a stronger sense of self-love. And, boy, have I! The perfect guy for you is out there, but sometimes he’s a type of perfect you had yet to even envision, so be open to it 🙂

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  • Reply
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    […]  List at least five characteristics of your ideal mate.  I wrote a letter to the “Future Mr. Kenlie” almost two years ago that sums up what I’d like to find in a man, but my answers have evolved […]

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    Friend Makin’ Mondays: Relationships and Dating
    September 16, 2013 at 12:15 am

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