The Standard

Last week someone who ran across my blog felt compelled to send me an email calling me a fat, ugly c- – -.  Of course, I hit delete and reminded myself  that those hateful adjectives don’t define me.

A few days ago  someone who befriended me on Facebook after discovering my blog wrote a long post on my wall expressing her disgust and disappointment in me because of my political affiliations.  Her angry, hate-filled post was only on my wall for a few minutes before it was deleted and she was blocked.

Here’s the thing.  I share my life online, and I know that I’ll be criticized as a result of that from time to time.  And I’ve learned the hard way that some people will go out of their way to spew hatred and inflict their angry, psychotic and nonsensical ideas and/or judgments on me.   I don’t like it, but I’ve learned to send those comments to spam,  to hit delete without even reading their garbage and to simply ignore their rubbish.

I’ve grown to care about so many of you, and I know that I don’t have to tell you these things.  This message is for those of you who hide behind the wall of the internet with hateful intent.  It doesn’t matter to me if our views are different, and I’m not going to try to convince you that I’m right.  But I do deserve and expect the kind of respect that I offer every time I write a post or share a comment on someone else’s blog.  Respect is the standard here, and it will always be the standard here.

So if you have a problem with me, I can’t change that for you, and I won’t waste my efforts trying to.  Instead, I’ll continue to focus on improving myself and celebrating the person that I am.  If that doesn’t work for you, feel free to click the back button in the top left corner.

 

 

 

37 thoughts on “The Standard

  1. Jolene

    What a great post! You worded everything so perfectly! I find it disgusting that people have to criticize, nobody is forcing them to read your blog or look at you or anyone else. I follow and then end up unfollowing people all the time because they say or do something that I cannot agree with(often politically, there’s some things I can’t tolerate). But I simply stop following them and stop reading their blogs, I don’t actually say anything, as long as they’re not breaking any laws they are entitled to be who they are, look how they look, believe what they believe just as much as I am.

    I hope I have your strength when I get my first comment or email like that, because I’m sure I will. I’ve actually only been called “fat” twice in my life, directly to me anyway(who knows what’s been said behind my back lol) I’ve been fortunate and I know that. Sad thing is one of those times it was by a man who probably weighed at least 350lbs while at the time I was at the most a size 12 and just had a baby a few months before. The second time was by a “skinny” cyclist who was on a designated foot path only and didn’t like that I was walking with my kids and refused to move for her because she couldn’t follow the signs….she called me a “fat cow”…at that time I had just lost some weight and was at the most a size 12.

    I’ve only once had a really bad comment on my blog and it wasn’t my current one, it was an old one. A woman who was a teacher(or at least claimed to be) took issue with the fact that I homeschool my kids. I probably didn’t handle it the best, but I was furious with the BS she was spewing and and actually allowed her comment along with my NOT at all nice reply.

    Just because we as bloggers are putting our lives out there it does not give people permission to say nasty things. We put our lives out there for those with shared interests, anyone who doesn’t have a shared interest and only wants to be mean has no business saying anything.

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  2. Nikke

    I can’t stand people that get online and want to call people such hateful things because they don’t agree with what you believe or how you’re living your life.
    Those people that put people down because of their political affiliation are just cowardly people and small minded. Sorry guys, but not everyone is going to have your same view. Get over it.
    I think you are such a strong person and applaud how far you have come!

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  3. Deb

    People think because this is only the internet, they can say whatever mean, hurtful, nasty garbage they feel like spouting with zero consequences. And unfortunately, a lot of the time that’s true so it continues. But your attitude here is the right one. Delete, and move on.

    I may read something on your blog one day that I completely disagree with. I might even leave a comment to tell you how I feel. I am entitled to an opinion just as you are. BUT I will not be rude, call you names, or act like a spoiled brat just because I feel differently. Not only is that all kinds of messed up, this is YOUR blog, and it would be disrespectful of me to do so especially because this is YOUR forum. Some people need to grow up. You are not one of them.

    Keep your chin up and don’t let the haters ever get you down!

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  4. mary

    well said kenlie.
    honestly i do not understand people, how they lash out at others like that
    what ever happened to basic respect for others opinions or beliefs
    it’s a very “my way or the highway” world we live in
    which is a shame.
    keep being you, those of us who matter won’t mind….and those who mind , won’t matter.
    xo

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  5. Eliza

    These people don’t have a life that’s why they’re trying to make someone else’s life miserable. Good for you for standing up and stating what (probably) all of us feel. You are a kind and caring person ..

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  6. Alissa

    People can be so hurtful online. I’ve experienced those hateful comments myself. Why they take the time out of their day to spew such hatred is beyond me.

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  7. Steelers6

    Wow, ridiculous. I’m so glad you can stop reading the garbahhge & hit delete. I’m glad it doesn’t seem to wound you, or cripple you for days. Good job on ignoring idiots. Yuck.
    Chrissy

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  8. natalie

    Ugh, it’s so disappointing that people would take time out of their day to be so negative. Especially because your blog is SO positive! Glad you can delete with one click of a button, sorry that you have to even deal with people like that. Keep up the positivity. 🙂

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  9. Sheilah

    I just don’t understand the drama people create. Especially after watching Biggest Loser last night and reading your post this morning. I would think people following you either had or have a weight problem and there would be compassion because of the things in common. I’m so sorry Kenlie. Guess I’m glad I don’t have followers.

    ~Sheilah

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  10. Chubby McGee

    I can’t figure out why people spend so much time reading blogs from people they can’t stand or disagree with (or laugh at and/or are disgusted by). If I see something I don’t like or disagree with, I just move on and never look back.

    On top of that, I can’t figure out why certain people go WAY out of their way to upset others. If you really don’t like someone’s opinions, then just let it be. Hit the “next blog” button or simply close the page. It’s easy! I do it all the time. There’s no need to stir up drama. Life is too short to waste such time on calling people out on their beliefs or how they do things.

    Boo to nagging negativity (it is SO unbecoming in humans) and good for you for being the better and more noble person for understanding how people should be to make this world a brighter/happier place. 🙂

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  11. Amber

    I agree with you completely. Also I do not understand why some people leave the ugly comments. You can disagree with someone without being nasty and disrespectful.

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  12. Chi Chi

    You put this post very tastefully and I totally agree! You don’t have to agree with what is said, but you need to respect the person who says it. It’s so funny how nowadays people have developed these finger biceps and will type whatever they want but will never say it to your face. I’m so happy that you took the high road and didn’t let it bring you down. Keep up the good work!

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  13. dad

    Sad, pathetic people will always be sad and pathetic, until they decide that life is best experienced by those who truly have a reason for living.

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  14. Shannon

    It’s funny how people can seem so much more brave online instead of to your face. Good for you for not listening to them! How dare they. How would they like it if they were treated that way?

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  15. suzanne

    Kenlie you know I totally agree with you. I just don’t know why people would bother reading a blog if they don’t like what you say!!
    I also can’t understand the people who meekly follow them and agree with their hatred.
    Luv a kiddo, keep up the good work 🙂

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    1. Chubby McGee

      “I just don’t know why people would bother reading a blog if they don’t like what you say!!”

      Yep! Yep! Makes no sense to me either. Why can’t people just let it be?

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  16. Bella

    Some people are (unfortunately) just miserable, small-minded, and judgmental; I’ve stopped trying to figure them out, because I simply can’t relate to that kind of hate. I’m glad you wrote this post, because this should be a positive experience for you and for everyone reading your blog.

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  17. Momma Hunt

    Seriously people never cease to amaze me in a bad way. As many have said if you don’t like it…ignore it and stop reading. I love that you share with us about your life. Personally, you and I fall on opposite ends of the political spectrum but that doesn’t mean I would judge you. In fact, I am one of those people that enjoys hearing anothe perspective you never know what it can do to spark something in you! Regardless, for someone to post something hateful on anyone’s blog means they have some serious issues of thier own (not to mention a whole lot of time on thier hands, who has time to do that anyways!). Thank you always for sharing your journey and I look forward to reading all about it!

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  18. Marla K.

    WELL SAID KENLIE!

    Although I sometimes don’t agree on what is written in blogs that I read, I realize that writing is a process of a person’s thoughts and emotions. People who write blogs are really sharing a gift with us.. part of themselves and that should be respected. You don’t have to agree, but being rude or hateful is just unacceptable.

    Thank you Kenlie for continuing to share your life and your gifts with us… I do treasure and appreciate it and you!

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  19. Cathy

    Sigh…guess some people don’t ever grow up. The sad part is that their kids are learning to harass others from watching their parents. And then people wonder why kids are bullying other kids. Double sigh…

    Meanwhile, you have the right idea. Disagreement is acceptable. Nastiness is not.

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  20. Judy

    You’ve got THAT right, Kenlie. We simply accept the fact that some people have no class, and go on. You’re an inspiration to SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many. No need to sweat the small stuff.

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  21. Ima Bovine

    I agree with all the commentors and just want to say how sorry I am that someone left you such nasty comments. You are a strong, beautiful and amazing person and anyone that says otherwise is a idiot.

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  22. Elaine

    I’m so proud of you for being so mature in how you are handling this! That is the unfortunate part about blogging about your life, you let yourself open to everyone and some people are just nasty. Well, I think you rock and you are beautiful and a constant inspiration to me! You GO GIRL, YOU ROCK!

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  23. Stephanie O

    I am very proud of you for protecting yourself! Not every message is worthy of a reply or even consideration. Good for you!

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  24. Nina

    I wish there was such a thing as live-action anti-virus/spam software for toxic people. (Sorry you get stuff like that – you are awesome – they are lame and cowardly!)

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  25. Tina

    The more I use the internet, the more I’m convinced this is true:

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19

    NSFW (language), or anyone who might not appreciate harsh language. But the sentiment rings horribly true, sadly.

    I love your blog, Kenlie. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with losing weight and keeping motivated. You’ve actually helped me not beat myself up for sometimes being unable to reach my (unrealistic) goals I set for myself. I’ve lost 40 lbs. so far, and I need to lose another 80. Congrats on so far losing what equates to a whole person (weight-wise)!

    As for the jerks, just chalk it up to jealousy. They only wish they could be half as positive as you.

    Or just call them a ‘doody-head’. Childish names for childish behavior (and it sounds funny, to boot!).

    🙂

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  26. Dana

    This is why I never post political topics on FB. It’s a shame, but it’s devisive and people never seem to sensor themselves these days. I see tons of stuff my FB friends say that I don’t agree with and you know what? I just don’t say anything. 🙂 Ignore the mean ones, karma will take care of it….

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  27. Nina Patricia

    I agree with you. I follow someone which I do not agree in her political views, some of her choices, and we have WAY different religious views. I find that more times than none, I learn so much about others when I open my horizons to new things. Sadly, there are way too many ignorant people with access to a computer.

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  28. Tabby

    Someone posted a photo on my facebook feed this morning, the message reads:

    “Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.”

    Which feels pretty spot on. Well done for advocating for yourself. You’re an inspiration to me, so I please don’t let the haters get you down! They don’t know how to make the connections between how they feel, what they eat and how to find balance in their lives, so they feel shitty and lash out inappropriately at people. Which doesn’t make it right; it just is.

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  29. Erin

    Wow, I am sorry that people are so mean. I am so glad you realize that they are just too bored, cowardly, ignorant, etc. so they have to use the internet to feel better. Just know for each hater, there are probably 10 people you have inspired. Good for you!

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  30. auntiekim

    People suck sometimes. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. If I ever see something I don’t agree with on a blog, I simply wait until the next day’s post. Hell, I don’t agree with my own family half the time…why would I ever expect to agree 100% with something I read online? There’s simply no need to be a Negative Nellie about things and spout such nonsense. I’ll never understand why people expend such energy being nasty. Why can’t they just move on?? Ugghhh

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  32. anneliesz

    Our minds can only hold one thought at a time. So the choice is: will it be positive and life-giving or negative and life-sucking? It’s that simple. I wonder if people choose to remember that each person is the son, daughter, possible sister / brother, possible wife / husband, friend of someone else- if that dissemination might actually help people prone to spewing nastiness to consider civility and that they do have a choice when responding.

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  33. Judy

    I can’t imagine saying such hurtful things to others. I find it I inspirational that you just hit the delete button. I try to hit the delete button in my head when people say not so nice things to me or about me.

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