I Don’t Know

When I think about this blog, I always just assume that it will be here.  It has been almost 3 years since I began writing it, at the time I began my journey to a healthier lifestyle.  A lot has changed in my life since then, and I realize that I am 100 pounds lighter than I was when I started, at least in part, because of my blog and the people reading it.   I also realize that in spite of my intense and consistent workouts, my weight hasn’t changed much in almost a year.  And I maintain that I am pleased to have kept 100 pounds off since losing it, but I’m not sure what I have to offer here right now.

When I started this blog, it was all about me, and I wrote whatever I felt like writing because no one was reading it anyway.  Now I know that people read it and that some of you take time to reach out regularly through comments and emails and tweets, and I appreciate it so much more than I could every convey with words.  But I don’t know where to go from here.

Should I forget that people are reading and write whatever comes to mind regardless of the topic?  Should I whine about why this has been more difficult in the last year than it was at first?  Should I drone on about how terrifying it is to look at my overall goal?  Should I keep posting weekly weigh-ins with tiny little decreases and gains hoping that the good will outweigh the bad?  Should I just stop blogging?

I’ve always spilled my guts here.  AndI can’t imagine not posting (almost) everyday. I can’t imagine not knowing the incredible people that I’ve met as a result.  So I’m not saying goodbye…I couldn’t do that.  I’m just not sure what to say exactly.

 

44 thoughts on “I Don’t Know

  1. Kenlie, Your journey has been an inspiration to all! Please don’t forget just how far you’ve come in a relatively short time.

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  2. I know exactly how you feel. I don’t have nearly as many people reading my blog as you have reading yours, and sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel. I’m always at a loss as to what to write because I don’t have any weight losses to report, and that was one of my goals in starting the blog — accountability in that area. Most of the people who comment are people I “talk” with through Twitter or Facebook or email, so I figure I could quit posting and keep in touch that way. It would be one less thing on the to-do list.

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  3. Well, I was going to ask you what YOU wanted..I think you have felt you benefit from your own blog, and then you did answer that. So if you can’t say goodbye, then don’t!

    I don’t know why you wouldn’t just write whatever you felt like writing about! Apparently doing that originally brought in & kept your readers! You have commenters/supporters & friends, so do what you want to do/write, k?

    Hugs,
    Chrissy

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    • That’s pretty much what I do now that I think about it…I suppose I’ve just been thinking about my lack of progress, and now I realize that that’s the change I’m looking for..

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  4. always always write for yourself! this is YOUR blog!

    i have a friend who deleted one of my blogs because i dared to talk about myself
    where as she posts only about her art work and her followers have a very false image of her.

    you never know how many lives you touch ..besides helping your own of course…through this form of communication.
    there might be that one person who stumbled upon your blog who read it and got inspired and is too ashamed or scared to post back , but has now taken the steps to be brave and be themselves.

    dear dear kenlie….you are so loved by so many

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  5. Just write whatever you want, whenever you want. While it’s inspirational for all of us to read about your efforts, you’re never under any obligation to us. (And I’ve been at the same weight for about 6 months now… Evil Plateau of Doom. We’ve all been there. At least we’re at a lower weight than we were when we started!)

    http://thinmintz.blogspot.com/

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  6. I am new to the blogging world and only actually started based on the bravery of an old friend. She is sharing her journey. That’s how I came across your blog actually, was by her. I knew the only way to do it for me was to jump right in without testing the water, and I have to admit I feel so free sometimes when I sit down to write my blog. There is something about putting it down on paper, and not seeing people response immediatly that makes it seem safe. I applaud your bravery for beginning your blog in the first place!!

    I hope to have as many people reading my thoughts and sharing their comments as you one day. Who cares why you orginally started the blog. People are getting to know you through your posts. You have a whole group of friends out there supporting you. Just because we can’t be seen doesn’t mean we aren’t here.

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  7. Kenlie, I think a lot of people find comfort in knowing that someone out there is going through the same thing – at least, that’s what people tell me. I tend to blog ‘warts and all’ although I do sometimes worry how I am perceived.

    I read a couple of blogs that are always tragic and ‘woe is me’ but if I think the person isn’t TRYING to get themselves out of the hole, I may stop reading. There’s no way you’re like that. And hopefully I’m not either… so, if it helps… keep plugging away and sharing your battles here!

    Deb

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  8. Hi Kenlie, what I love most about your is your honesty, and it helps so many people out there, you have no idea. So what if you haven’t lost a lot of weight in the last year, you are maintaining and that is what is most important. It is a mental thing before anything else and you will get back there someday, in the meantime, blog about whatever you want to, I promise I will keep reading, along w/many others I am sure!! You are an inspiration to many!! Keep up the good work….

    It’s not easy, we all know that, and you are very brave to share, keep up the good work!!

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  9. You started this blog for you, not all the rest of us. Write what makes YOU happy. I do enjoy reading your blog, no matter what you write. If you need to take a break, then do it. We’ll be here when you come back.

    As far as posting about your weight – it is a huge accomplishment to lose 100 lbs and keep it off. No matter what happpens, be proud of yourself for that accomplishment. Post what you want and when you want!

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  10. Kenlie I think if you strictly want to make this a weight loss blog you gotta figure out what its gonna take to get you back on track again. I think I can help you…email me if you are interested! OR facebook mail me!

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    • I’ve never wanted a blog that is strictly about weight-loss…I’ve been chasing self-love and confidence…that’s what I’m aiming to do.

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      • That right there! THAT is why I read your blog, because although we have never met, I relate to YOU!! And the numbers on the scale, or the size on the tag is only 1 part of it. You look at your journey in a wholistic way, with a goal of over all health, not necessarily just a reflection in the mirror. You have been rockin the exercise this year, that counts for SO much!! You have maintained an incredible amount of weight loss, such a victory!!
        I struggle with self-love, although most who know me have no idea. Your blog has been such a safe place for me. I love reading whatever you have put out there, because I feel like you are a friend.
        So write whatever you want, whenever you want….I’ll be here :)

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          • Sadly, society tries to put people of all sizes, shapes, and looks into boxes. That I may not be the perfect specimen of a male, does not diminish my character. That I may not be the most intelligent, articulate or “successful” person on the block, does not diminish my worth.

            I choose to live my life for those I care most about.

            Those who judge me or don’t like me, probably don’t know me and are not smart enough to do so.That is their loss. They can jump in a lake, because they really don’t matter to me.

            What does matter to me, is knowing that those who know me and care for me, know and love me, for who I am, and accept me with my faults, few though they may be (maybe more than a few.)

            Finally, I am the one who has to look at myself in a mirror . I am the final judge of what I see and who I am at he end of the day.

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          • Actually Dad, you’re the only one who lives on your block which, by default, makes you the most intelligent, articulate and successful person on it. ;)

            But seriously, thanks for the post…You’re right…

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  11. This is YOUR blog – we are not paying you for a service so this should be what you want/need it to be no matter how many people are watching. It’s weird but I think of it almost like a performer…she can sing what she loves to a small devoted group of fans at a club or she can make herself more mainstream and fill a concert hall; either is a valid choice.

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  12. Write whatever comes to mind, whatever you’re feeling right then! You are such an inspiration, but reading whatever drives you or whatever you’re feeling today is part of that inspiration for your readers: reading that we aren’t alone in our struggles, that a new healthy lifestyle has ups and downs, and that it’s ok to not be perfect. You being honest to yourself is what brought us all on board, and we’ll stay, no matter what you write. After all, it’s your blog, so it’s about what YOU want!

    Hugs!

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  13. I think you should definitely keep blogging if that’s what you want, and your posts should be what you need to say that day.

    I understand the pressure (and I’m way less popular!), of feeling like you have to come up with posts for your AUDIENCE, rather than yourself. And I think that’s when the joy sort of faded for me, and that’s why I was such an inactive blogger for a while.

    Since I’ve been back more consistently, I have done more posts that are for me, and I notice I get fewer comments, but I enjoy it so much more than when I was trying to come up with posts for readers rather than myself. I think finding a good balance between the 2 is key.

    I know that we will stay in touch regardless!!

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  14. I agree, write whatever you want.
    Most things you write about we can relate anyways (dating, family, daily life,nail polish, etc.)
    I love just stopping by and seeing whats happening to you, weightless or not you are an inspiration to me.

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  15. I know where you’re coming from. But getting to “goal,” whatever that is, is not a straight line for the vast majority of us. The fact that you’ve lost 100 pounds and maintained that loss is no small feat.

    “All the Weigh” encompasses a lot, and your tagline sums up what you’re working on.

    There are loads of things to write about regarding changing the outside and the inside, so don’t feel like you need to laser-focus on just diet and exercise. It’s all connected.

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  16. I think the best posts are when you just write what’s on your mind and how you’re feeling at the moment (like this one). When things are going great, your readers need that inspiration. When things aren’t going so great, you need the support of your readers.
    Love ya! :)

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  17. Its your blog Kenlie, write what makes you happy. As to the weight loss, well, maybe you need to re-evaluate what you’re doing and change things up a little. I realized a few weeks ago I wasn’t losing because I wasn’t eating enough with my intense workouts. Mix it up a little, and see if anything changes.

    Be true to yourself!

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  18. Please don’t go, I would miss you so. You have inspired me to re-start my journey.
    I don’t comment at all, but know that I’m here, cheering you along.
    Write true to yourself and you will shine.
    :o)

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    • I’m not going anywhere…I couldn’t. I just didn’t know what to say as I was writing this post…I need a new direction, and I’m going to keep trying. I just wish I had something awesome to say about it already..

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      • Kenlie!!!! I’m here for you if you want to try health coaching! Don’t give up now. You’ve come so far!! Be yourself – write what you feel and most importantly…. do what makes you happy!!!

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  19. This is your blog and you should do whatever you’d like to. Personally, I use my blog for myself and write about anything and everything I want to. Your blog should be whatever you want it to be, as often as you want it to be. And nothing needs to be set in stone. That’s be beauty of it!

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    • I also want to tell you how much I appreciate your blog as a social medium – I’ve “met” several other bloggers through your blog, FMM specifically. I wouldn’t have ever come into contact with them otherwise, so thank you!

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      • Yes! FMM has been so much fun and if you left, whatever would we do to find new friends to follow? ;)

        If this was Facebook I’d be liking Bella’s comment!

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  20. I just wanted to say that I ran across your blog on accident a few months ago and I liked it so much that I subscribed. I do have to say that I wait and look forward to your blogs to come into my email. You give me such inspiration, that you almost make me cry when I read them. :) You have such a great heart and outlook on things that it just makes me smile. I think that you should write whatever you feel because it all started with you in the first place. We started reading them because something that you wrote touched us. Keep your head up and Have a Blessed Day!!!

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  21. I dont know if you will read this, so here goes, in my opinion you should write what you feel is right, not what you think people want to read. I started reading your blog because you inspired me, I loved to read about you, your losses, your gains, whatever. We are not perfect, I have lost all my weight, then gained it all back, I lost a husband because I lost over 6 stone, but he didnt want me to. In my life Ive always tried to lose weight for other people, ive never done it for me. Well, when I read your blog, I really thought that this is the time for Me, its time I took my life in hand and did something about me being this size, im a 24 and im obese. You gave me inspiration. Im still struggling because I just dont have any will power. Anyway, please dont give up, write from your heart, whatever you want to write then do it. If every other person stops reading, I wont. I will still be here waiting for your daily fix…… sorry for being such a sad person but I do admire what you have achieved already, im the same as Rebecca, the girl who wrote in the comments above me. Keep up the good work, we all have bad days…..

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  22. I love your blog! I hope you keep doing it, but also I hope it is still fun and healthy for you. I hope you use it as an outlet and continue to just “be real.” (I can’t think of a better way to put it.) I am basically down 80 and stuck now. I read your blog every day and it does keep me going … and helps to keep me from forgetting the “journey” and being happy for the 80! (Many days I just want to say f-it.) But422 sucked more! Even if this is it … it’s still pretty awesome from the past.

    What your blog means to me … is knowing that there are awesome people I can relate to out there … that you can be beautiful, honor yourself and have a life on the long road to best health – for a long time I thought I couldn’t have any of it until I fixed myself, and I missed out on a lot of living. (We are all on this path to better health, regardless of size and regardless if we are paying attention or not!) So really I feel like your blog is more about living one’s dream and to just call it a “weight-loss blog” is short-sighted.

    BTW, you are still you and awesome, blog or not. Just remember that it’s YOUR BLOG … not the Blog’s you. So don’t let it push you around and don’t worry about “us.” I will still read and I am so happy to have found this space. It was at just the right time for me!

    Stay strong!!!

    XOXO,
    Nina

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  23. If the rest of the comments haven’t convinced you, let me add mine. You should keep writing. I’m one of those blog stalkers. I don’t subscribe and I read several blogs when I can. Your posts are real. For all of us who have been ‘really’ morbidly obese (I used to be over 400) the struggles are longer and harder. Yes, losing 100 pounds is an accomplishment but it isn’t the end of the road. And if that is frustrating for you, it is for thousands of other people who don’t have (or want to have) a public outlet. So if you are still willing to bear your soul do it for all those who can’t or aren’t able.

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  24. Blogs are online journals. Blog for yourself first and foremost. Don’t think about the people reading and commenting, but know that your blog (and story) is inspirational to many people. Your blog is the first blog I read every day. When I’m doubting myself, I check to see what you’re saying that day and it helps.

    Thanks for being you and do what you need to do for you! Your friends/supporters/readers, etc., if they are true and honest people, will support you no matter what. :)

    Have a delightful day, Kenlie! You deserve it (hopefully it’s not the third day of rain for you like it is for me – it’s making me drag).

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  25. Yes, yes, yes, yes! YES to all of your questions. I have only recently come to your blog and would like to learn from you. And I think that as we let go of all of our whining and problems, we leave room for more peace and patience in our lives. Which is probably what we need to go on to conquer more–weight, whatever. So please go on and help me to lose a few.

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