There are so many thoughts swirling inside my head tonight that I don’t really know where to begin. I’ve been reflecting on my journey and how I want to move forward a lot over the last week, and today I was reminded that I hold the key. This journey is mine, and success is there for the taking.
After taking care of some things at school I spent the evening at Starbucks with ‘the suit’ and ran into a classmate/friend who works there. After her shift we spoke at length for the first time outside of class, and I learned a lot about her. I also learned that she understands where I’m coming from in my battle against obesity. You’d never guess by looking at her that she could understand my struggles, but she can because she has her own.
She said several poignant things throughout our conversation that left me thinking about my end goal and how to get there. I got chills several times during our conversation, but she stopped me in my tracks when she said the following:
“Everything after ‘but’ is bullshit.”
Whoa! How true is that?! To put it into context the word ‘but’ seems to represent an excuse or an opportunity to put myself down.
“I want to lose weight, but (insert excuse here.)”
“I’ve lost over 100 pounds, but (insert self-deprecating statement here.)”
The fact is that I have come a long way. I’ve faced some major demons, particularly over the last year, and my battle is far from finished.
It wasn’t easy to admit how much I am struggling last week, but no one said it would be. The whole damn journey is difficult, but quitting and living inside this body would be much, much harder.
I’m so blessed to be surrounded by people in my daily life, through my blog/twitter, Facebook, etc. who understand and are willing to offer me unwavering support no matter how much I need it. I was reminded once again tonight that I have the tools to do this and that all I have to do is forgive myself and keep trying.
There are no gimmicks involved here. I can’t bullshit my way through this journey if I expect to get to the finish line. I have to earn this, and I’m going to do that by making one choice at a time.