Throwing the Trolls A Bone

Dear troll(s) who are obsessed with me and come here daily to write lengthy comments about how shitty I am that almost always get sent straight to spam,

You’re a pathetic jackass, and may I just point out that *you* are the one who is obsessed with *me*?  If you think I’m ugly, unattractive and uninteresting, then feel free to go away.

If you have a problem with me because of my imperfections, my mistakes or simply because you’re jealous that I receive so much support from so many wonderful people, here’s what you should do:

1. Stop being an asshole.

2. Get a hobby (you know, other than obsessing over me.  That’s just weird. hehe)  If you need some suggestions, I can help there too.

I read books, play Scrabble, knit, scrapbook, make jewelry, ride my bike, hang out with my friends, etc.)  Do some things that make you happy because frankly, life is better that way.

3.  Start a blog  and focus on yourself for a while. Try sharing some of your insecurities, imperfections, struggles and hopes with people.   Do it respectfully, and they’ll like you too (if you follow instruction #1.)

4. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that Kenlie thinks you’re probably worth more than you realize.  Yes, I think you’re an asshole, but I don’t think people are born that way.

Maybe someone (or a lot of someones) hurt you.  Maybe they did things that you that I can’t begin to understand, but you’re the one who has the responsibility to stop that cycle of pain.  And that pain will never leave you if you spend your time spewing hatred toward people who can’t be bothered by you.

You may not deserve my pity, but I feel sorry for you.  You spend time nearly everyday hoping to drag me down and to make me feel as miserable as you do, but it doesn’t have to be that way for you.  You don’t have to continue being a jerk just because that’s how it has always been. You have the power to change if you want to, and you’d probably be a lot less miserable if you tried.

You know I struggle, and you know that I won’t give up even when you tell me to.  What you may not know is that I’m happy.  My heart, though I have many imperfect feelings, is filled with joy, not hatred.  And you can’t change that.  You can only change yourself.

I’m here because I want to be, and if you have a problem with that…well..screw you. I don’t need everyone to like me, and I certainly don’t need approval from spineless, heartless, faceless hatemongers.

So take my advice or don’t.  It won’t affect my life or my happiness either way.  I do, however, suggest that you do your best to get over your odd, yet fascinating obsession with me because I’m not going anywhere until I want to.

 

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31 Comments

  • Reply
    Erin
    August 10, 2012 at 3:43 am

    The best thing to do is to never read their messages and totally ignore them. All they want is a reaction of any sort. Unless this troll is psychotic, they will give up eventually. What a miserable person.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      August 10, 2012 at 4:17 pm

      Most of them gete sent directly to spam, but occasionally one slips through. I usually ignore, but I thought I was pretty clever today. 😉

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  • Reply
    Dr. Jennifer
    August 10, 2012 at 5:31 am

    The fact is that some people can’t see vulnerability without wanting to stick a knife in it. There are a lot of idiots in the world and the anonymity makes them feel safe and allows them to vent their malice—and their stupidity. I volunteer at a suicide hotline and we get a number of prank calls, even sex calls. This is a phone line for people in CRISIS, but some fools’ minds are so empty that they can’t think of anything better to do. It’s a pity that you can’t make an honest effort to improve your life without some spiteful hater(s) throwing their shit on you, but there are a lot more of us (people who are touched by your struggles and rooting for you) than there are of them!

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  • Reply
    Ryan
    August 10, 2012 at 6:09 am

    Heya Kenz,

    One thing I heard once that might be useful, is teaming up with another blogger who has a similar amount of traffic/comments to your own site. Then you switch moderating, meaning they moderate your site, you moderate theirs, so neither of you see the unapproved comments on your own sites.

    I know this doesn’t really change the trolling, you still might see some nasty comments directed at someone else, but it may be easier to keep the directed stuff all out of sight/out of mind…

    Trolls = Super lameness
    http://icanhascheezburger.com/ = krypto antidote 🙂
    RY

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    • Reply
      Holly A.
      August 10, 2012 at 9:47 am

      I love this suggestions. And I’m sorry, Kenlie, that you had to read negative comments. Take strength in knowing that they have taught you something unintentional: to stand stronger every day.

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  • Reply
    Jon
    August 10, 2012 at 7:38 am

    It’s easy to say things from the cheap seats. What you do is like sitting at a Hockey game at center ice without the plexiglass in front of you. You are brave enough to take the risk but you have the best view of things. You might get hit by a puck and feel the sting every so often but the ones who don’t take the risk to sit up front will always be envious of the view you have or the fact the camera catches a glimpse of you. The old motto put or shut up is fitting. When they put up all of the intimate details of their life for the world to tear to shreds then they can comment to your perceived faults. You inspire many people.

    Posses the right thinking, only then can one receive the gifts of strength knowledge and peace.

    Anger clouds the mind, turned inward it is an unconquerable enemy.You are unique among everyone for you choose to face this enemy alone, but as you face it do not forget all of those who support you.

    The world is a better place with your inspirations in it. No matter if its a good day or bad for you your struggle gives strength to all of us with our own struggles. It is sad that some people have to put you down to make them selves feel better but the ironic part about this is, you even make the trolls feel better. So no matter what the comment is to you positive or negative you still inspire everyone. So when a troll says something demeaning just kick back and smile and think to yourself, hey if that makes you feel better then I still win.

    I myself am a cheap seat speaker as I do not have my own blog but I do believe I want to start one one day if time ever permits. So take my comments with a grain of salt and know that not all of us are envious of you in a negative way.

    I live my life different than most people, I generally see things from about 90 degrees off center. There is a line from a Motley Crue song (Don’t judge me lol) that I live by, ” If you wanna life by your own terms. You gotta be willin to crash and burn”

    I believe you fight the good fight and I believe we all believe in you.

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  • Reply
    Kyra
    August 10, 2012 at 7:55 am

    I had a different blog a couple of years ago, and it got a lot of traffic. I got plenty of trolls too, and I just deleted their comments and went on. But at one point a string of really mean comments were coming in and the person made the mistake of leaving the autofill on, and their email was there. I was absolutely shocked to see it was someone I sort of knew. I emailed her, and confronted her, and she was absolutely mortified. This was not how I knew her or her behavior, it was just so odd! She responded with apologies and that she didn’t know why she did it, except that her life was bad at that time and she was lashing out.

    Some people use other people as targets, people who you wouldn’t expect – but the important thing to remember is that no matter who they are, their cruelty is 100% about their lives, and not about yours at all.

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  • Reply
    Grace @ Grace Dishes
    August 10, 2012 at 7:57 am

    UGH I hate cyber bullies who don’t have the guts to say anything to anyone in real life. They hide behind anonymity and think they people give a damn about what they think.

    You are amazing! Don’t ever let anyone get you down!

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  • Reply
    angie
    August 10, 2012 at 8:06 am

    You rock!

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  • Reply
    Karen P
    August 10, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Ryan , that is an excellent idea. This allows for the messages to be read and deleted, or escalated to the authorities if the message is threatening or needs to be turned over to the authorities to show a pattern. I’m sure most of the hate mail simply needs deleting.

    It also allows for it not to sink in and get stuck inside your head.

    Good tip- IMO, I hope you’ll consider th, Kenlie.

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  • Reply
    PJ
    August 10, 2012 at 9:06 am

    Here’s some anti-trolling: Your posts inspire me to make better choices every single day! Since I started following you and your pal over at CurvyFitGirl, I’ve found it so much easier to listen to my inner Skinny Bitch, and tune out my inner Fat Girl. (Maybe someday I’ll have an outer Skinny Bitch! Well… an outer Skinny Girl, anyway.) Your dedication to blogging about your struggles every single day even – perhaps especially – on bad days is nothing short of amazing. Keep up the good work!

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  • Reply
    Blick
    August 10, 2012 at 9:07 am

    Kyra is absolutely on target – “no matter who they are, their cruelty is 100% about their lives, and not about yours at all.” So, you are right in feeling a sense of pity that their lives are so bereft of happiness. Yours, on the other hand, is full of accomplishment, humor and a future of your own making. You go girl!!!

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  • Reply
    Jen, a priorfatgirl
    August 10, 2012 at 9:18 am

    would it be horrible of me to admit I don’t even clean my spam filter? I get over 300 spam comments a day and have no capacity what-so-ever to read through all that!

    now regarding your above post? YOU ROCK!

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  • Reply
    Redhotwritinghood
    August 10, 2012 at 9:41 am

    You go girl! Haters be quiet and get a life. How talking about your life and trying to make healthy life changes warrants haters?? No comprehension there. Keep at it Kenlie you are doing awesome!!

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  • Reply
    Ashley @ Coffee Cake and Cardio
    August 10, 2012 at 9:49 am

    I totally just shared about the same thing on Monday but unfortunately I let the person’s comment’s get to me (side note, it was my BROTHER IN LAW). Jackass. Anywho. There are tons of trolls out there and you’re right, they need to get a life and stop focusing on ours. You rock!

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  • Reply
    Lanae
    August 10, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Bravo Kenlie Bravo!

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  • Reply
    Jack
    August 10, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Good for you!

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  • Reply
    auntiekim
    August 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    xoxo You rock, dear. Don’t ever forget it. Bullies suck. Plain and simple.

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  • Reply
    Sheila
    August 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Amazingly written….I am standing up at my desk cheering you on right now. I’m new in these woods…(I say that a lot lately). My reason for starting a blog was to try and be an encouragement, a help to others as I go through this long journey of getting healthier and stronger. Negative comments are not easily deleted….they do hurt before you hit that delete button. I have already learned to NOT look at my spam mail… ha ha.

    I’ve learned in life that there are a LOT of people in this world that are just NOT nice and they do NOT like people that are happy. It’s SAD, but TRUE. In some sick way, they believe being mean makes them feel better. Good for you for standing up and facing the giant. Life is about CHOICES….good and bad. You’ve chosen good… don’t stop. Stay strong!

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  • Reply
    Lisa
    August 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Keep doing what you are doing. I can’t believe that there are people out there whose sole purpose is to try to tear people down. There is another blog I read that has another blog DEDICATED to trashing her and her blog. It is bizarre. I can only imagine how angry and pathetic these types of people are. I’m a lurker on your blog, I’ve never commented but I really enjoy what you have to say and guess what, if I ever don’t want to hear what you have to say, I’ll stop reading. It’s that simple. : ) Take care of yourself. You don’t seem like the type of person to let something like this keep you down but you’re only human and I can imagine that it can be tough to take at times.

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  • Reply
    Bella
    August 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Amen, sister! I’m glad you put this out there to let the trolls know what’s up. I think it’s incredibly big of you to say you think they’re worth more than their actions are showing.

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  • Reply
    Shelley B
    August 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    I’m surprised every time you mention haters–I can’t think of why in the world anyone would want to send you mean comments. It doesn’t make sense! Sorry you’re experiencing some of that, but hopefully the support you receive outweighs the negative, senseless garbage and makes keeping a blog an overall positive experience for you.

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  • Reply
    Heather
    August 10, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    Hey,
    Not sure if you watch New Girl, but here’s one video that always cheers me up, and (bonus!) it has to do with spinning. Hope you enjoy!

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  • Reply
    Shelladawn
    August 10, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Amen. Keyboard warriors are sooooooooo brave when they are not face to face with people. I love what you wrote “to” them. Well done, keep up the good work. I haven’t commented before, but bullies really p*ss me off!

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  • Reply
    Tammy
    August 10, 2012 at 11:27 pm

    I never realized this kind of thing happens. How terrible. Please never listen to this idiots. Keep your head up high and continue on your journey. Good luck!

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  • Reply
    nikkianne
    August 11, 2012 at 7:58 am

    This post makes me think about “mean” the Taylor Swift song. Give it a listen. 🙂 fits quite well

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  • Reply
    becca
    August 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    you tell them sisiter

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  • Reply
    Janice
    August 12, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    Don’t pay attention to any negative comments. Continue on your fantastic journey. You are an inspiration to all!

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  • Reply
    Sharon
    August 13, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    Here’s mine!! My very first one!

    http://mimigettingfit.com/2012/08/14/friend-makin-mondays/

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  • Reply
    Ximena
    August 15, 2012 at 10:38 am

    Great blog entry!

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  • Reply
    Mary
    August 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Wow awesome post! Tell them like it is indeed 🙂

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