Lifestyle weight loss Weight Watchers

Screw It! This is MY Blog!

This is not going to be an easy post to write because it’s embarrassing to admit that I have to try again because I haven’t gotten it right yet.

I had been pretty content with maintaining, but I’m not okay with my actions over the last few weeks.  When I stepped on the scale I saw an increase that brought me back over 300 pounds, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to accept that.

Over the last few months I’ve felt myself slipping, falling out of my exercise habits and into lethargy.  When my gym membership expired I knew I’d have to find a new one, but I’ve allowed myself to slide.  Between travels, work and school I’ve allowed myself to focus on things that should be prioritized right after exercise.

I’ve gotten into a habit of eating sushi almost everyday before school, then going out for drinks after class.  I like the company that comes with going out with friends, but I can have fun whether I’m drinking pumpkin beer or seltzer with cranberry and lime.

Monday I decided to go back to Weight Watchers.  I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Weight Watchers since PointsPlus started, but it’s the only thing that has ever given me the accountability that I need to be successful.  Will I eat endless zero-point fruits?  Nope.  Will I faithfully attend my weekly meeting?  Yep.

I tried a new meeting in New Orleans earlier this week since it’s closer to home now, and I wasn’t sure if I’d fit in or not.  The leader (who was absolutely lovely) lost 20 pounds so I wondered if I could connect with her even though I had over ten times that much to lose from my original starting weight.

Throughout the meeting I was tweeting about whether or not I was comfortable with it, and I got some incredible feedback from weight-loss warriors like Foodie McBody.  She said, “Although there ARE differences for people with different amounts to lose, I think the day to day decisions are often the same.”   I think we can all agree that she’s right about that.

When I read her words I decided to give the meeting a chance, and the fact is that it was filled with people who have different journeys, different ideas and similar goals.  I even made a friend and look forward to going back next week.

In addition to reactivating my monthly pass, I’ve committed to exercising again.  As soon as I started circuit training yesterday I was reminded that I love it, and I’m confident that finding motivation to sweat won’t be a struggle again right away.  I love endorphins!  I also appreciate the support and encouragement I received from an important friend last night.  (You know who you are…Thank you..xo)

This year has been filled with important emotional challenges, changes and growth.  I’ve accomplished things in my heart and my head (and with family and friends) that I’m simply not ready to share here.  I can look back at the last several months and be proud of myself, but it’s time to do more.  It’s time to put my physical health at the forefront and work toward the physical changes that are also important to me.

Maybe this journey isn’t difficult for you, but it’s hard for me.  It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most rewarding and among the most important.

I forgive myself for slipping, and I’m ready to move forward.  I’m ready to take tiny little steps in the right direction.  It’s what I want, and it’s what I need so I’m doing it.

Are you satisfied with your choices you’ve made for your health and lifestyle in 2012?  Is there an area in which you could improve?  If so, will you share them with us?


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  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 12:32 am

    Oh man, I’ve been forced to make changes this year. I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. I have to watch my carbs, exercise regularly and pay a lot more attention to myself. My doctor said “this will be a blessing for you.” I’m not quite ready to think of it as a blessing, but I do understand what he meant.

    • Reply
      October 3, 2012 at 2:30 am

      margi! i was diagnosed with it too this year and i have gone through the gammit of emotions with it but you know what i am glad in a weird way that i was diagnosed with it…it explains why i was so weird acting the last few years and now how to really take care of myself.
      i just made a blog post on my blog about emotional eating which i could be the poster child about
      xo on your journey i am right there with ya!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 12:36 am

    I have had a hard year this year as well – mainly emotionally which in turn has caused me to gain weight I already lost – which makes me made – which makes me eat!
    I find it a vicious circle but can’t seem to stop it- I am nearly 44 and have noticed things changing internally and think I am in the perimenopause phase and need to get my “hormones” in check!
    Life is hard but like the saying goes – being overweight is hard, loosing weight is hard – chose your hard!
    Good luck with your journey.

  • Reply
    Dr. Jennifer
    October 3, 2012 at 2:18 am

    Hey Kenlie,

    I appreciate the difficulty you’re having juggling your various things! I know when I’m feeling frustrated, it can be annoying to hear people say positive things that may be totally out of sync with my mood or feelings, but I wanted to share that you seem admirable to me. From what I’ve read you have so much energy and ambition and you do so many things! And it sounds like you have a lot of friends, loved ones and interests. I also really appreciate your honesty in sharing embarrassing moments online, especially since they can be troll magnets! Of course, you have lots of well-wishers, too, including me. I hope you get back to a point where you feel on track soon!

    • Reply
      Marla K.
      October 4, 2012 at 9:22 am

      Wholeheartedly Agree here with Dr. Jennifer. You are balanced and you do have well wishers. Keep plugging away and way to go on getting on here to be accountable.

      I struggle and fight to find balance between living life, exercise and food. I am encouraged always to read that I am not the only one.

      Get back on track just the way that you started this journey… start with one small change and see the momentum build and build. You got this Kenlie!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 2:31 am

    kenlie my dear…i can so relate to all of this. i just posted on my blog about my current state of affairs, annoying as it is.
    know we are all in this together

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 2:39 am

    Well done chick! It is those huge steps forwards that make the little steps back seem insignificant! I have been maintaining for 12 months now because I hit 50kgs lost and thought I was awesome! Well, that’s not enough for me! I am not even in a healthy weight range yet. So, I am going to put on my size 14 panties and get back to the hard road!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 6:15 am

    I struggle with every mouthful of food. It’s a lifelong challenge, I know that now. But we can’t ever give up. Each day we have to choose health.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 7:21 am

    I have to admit that I’ve been worried about your journey lately. I’m so glad you are back on track. Now, I’m sure that you will be successful in all areas of your life! Welcome back!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 8:08 am

    I’m right there with you Kenlie! I’ve been real easy on myself because of all that has gone on this year. But coming home from FitBloggin has be remotivated to get my ‘house’ in order. It’s really hard for me too but we can do it! 🙂

  • Reply
    Bailey @ Onederland or Bust!
    October 3, 2012 at 8:49 am

    I’m happy with what I’ve done so far in 2012 (like losing 30lbs, running, etc), but I know that I could be doing much better! I saw your tweet and the response about the day-to-day decisions being the same and it resonated with me. I’ve never thought of it like that before, but it makes perfect sense!
    I’m sure you’ll get back on track soon enough! 🙂

  • Reply
    Sylvia @cowgirlwarrior
    October 3, 2012 at 9:41 am

    My battle in 2012 is consistency. I follow weightwatchers and I 100% believe it works when I follow it and that has been up and down literally. I know I need to commit to meetings as that keeps me accountable.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Oh yeah, I can totally relate. That’s why I’m making October Plateau Busting Month at Shrinking Sisters. I’ve basically been the same weight for 2 YEARS (!) and I really need to get things moving. So if anyone else wants to jump off their plateau, I’m right there with ya.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    I’m a lot happier now with my health than I was at the beginning of the year! I wish you only the best. I definitely think the meeting help to keep us accountable and that we need to go even when we’re having a tough week.

  • Reply
    Jamie @ Win,Lose or Eat
    October 3, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    I just started my own journey to health. Even though I’m having success it is still so hard and I know it will probably be the toughest thing I ever do. I have 186 more pounds to lose and when I look at that number, it can be overwhelming. But I know I will never get to my goal if I don’t take it one day at a time in the right direction. We can do this and I know you have inspired many through your blog. You are worth the effort it takes to get healthier (just like I have to keep telling myself I am). I don’t think it will ever be easy but it will be worth it!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    I have been struggling for a little over a year now. AT one point I’d lost about 30 pounds (of the 75 or so I need to) and have been creeping up slowly and then even quicker lately. I finally realized that while I was successful and on plan (I am a WW member) I was being driven by outside factors, and wasn’t retaining the right motivational tools so that once those factors were gone I went right back to my destructive eating habits.
    I like reading your blog because you help remind me that I’m not alone in my struggles with this. No matter how much weight we have to lose or where we are in that journey, it helps knowing there are others out there that can understand where you are, where you are coming from, and where you are trying to go.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    this is exactly what I needed to read today! I just signed up for a gym yesterday (my apartment gym just isn’t enough anymore) and today will be my first workout in 2.5 weeks! I agree with you…i miss the feeling of working out especially the kick-ass-i-can-rule-the-world feeling you get afterwards.

    You can do this. You did it before. Nothing is stopping you.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    I can completely relate to your post; I’ve written so many like them myself. I think there comes a point when we finally have to choose to change our actions so that we can see the results we want. I’ve made some significant changes recently, and I can tell you I haven’t felt this confident, this sure of myself and my ability to reach my goals, in a LONG time. We’ll both get there, and it will be all the sweeter because we’ll have learned so much about ourselves along the way.

  • Reply
    KCLAnderson (Karen)
    October 3, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    You GO girl!

    I believe in accepting what is…and in your case, “what is” is maintaining a huge loss (even though there’s been some fluctuation) over a fairly long period of time, “even though” you have more you want to lose. I firmly believe that our heads need more time than our bodies do in terms of getting used to such changes. My point is that when we accept “what is” not only does it not negate the desire to improve or change, it accelerates change. So no matter what method you employ to focus on your health, starting from a place of “I am okay right this very minute” can only help.

    And by the way, this journey has been so very hard and yet so very rewarding. There’s that pesky both/and thinking again 🙂

    You’ve got this!

  • Reply
    October 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    I hear ya… it’s so hard to get a new habit going. I have motivation issues, big time. Plus, with chronic illnesses, it’s easy for a bad day to turn into a bad week, and the next thing I know, I have fallen off the healthy path and have to work on getting back on it. I get so frustrated, because it seems like I’ll never lose enough weight to make a difference. Thanks for being so honest here, it gives me hope.

  • Reply
    October 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    I’m so very proud of you, Kenlie! Pick your self up and move on! I know this isn’t the first time and it most certainly won’t be your last. We all have trials in our life, but it’s the ambition and courage to forge forward…and you have it! Onward and upward! Well, I guess in this case it should be downward on the scale! You can do it, I know you can! There’s a great story of the footsteps in the sand. Let me know if you haven’t heard it before, and when I see you today I’ll tell you the story.

  • Reply
    Marc A.
    October 5, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    I appreciate your struggles as well as the triumphs. The struggles makes the triumphs that much sweeter. I know how you feel about being somewhat ashamed to report it, I deal with the same thing on my blog. No one’s perfect and we all fall down but we keep pushing and that’s where the real victory is!

  • Reply
    October 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    I’m proud of you Kenz for realizing now that you need to stop slipping before it got completely out of control. Sometimes that’s the hardest thing to do! So yay for you! 🙂

    I’m pretty proud of the choices I’ve made health wise this year. I have really gotten myself into a workout routine and it is awesome.

  • Reply
    October 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    AMEN! To so many things:

    Forgiving yourself (i.e., accepting where you’re at, no shame).
    Knowing where you want to be.
    Making a commitment – and CHOICES – to get there.

    You got this! It’s a lifelong journey, and the perseverance you are displaying now will stand you in good stead forever.

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