This is not going to be an easy post to write because it’s embarrassing to admit that I have to try again because I haven’t gotten it right yet.
I had been pretty content with maintaining, but I’m not okay with my actions over the last few weeks. When I stepped on the scale I saw an increase that brought me back over 300 pounds, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to accept that.
Over the last few months I’ve felt myself slipping, falling out of my exercise habits and into lethargy. When my gym membership expired I knew I’d have to find a new one, but I’ve allowed myself to slide. Between travels, work and school I’ve allowed myself to focus on things that should be prioritized right after exercise.
I’ve gotten into a habit of eating sushi almost everyday before school, then going out for drinks after class. I like the company that comes with going out with friends, but I can have fun whether I’m drinking pumpkin beer or seltzer with cranberry and lime.
Monday I decided to go back to Weight Watchers. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Weight Watchers since PointsPlus started, but it’s the only thing that has ever given me the accountability that I need to be successful. Will I eat endless zero-point fruits? Nope. Will I faithfully attend my weekly meeting? Yep.
I tried a new meeting in New Orleans earlier this week since it’s closer to home now, and I wasn’t sure if I’d fit in or not. The leader (who was absolutely lovely) lost 20 pounds so I wondered if I could connect with her even though I had over ten times that much to lose from my original starting weight.
Throughout the meeting I was tweeting about whether or not I was comfortable with it, and I got some incredible feedback from weight-loss warriors like Foodie McBody. She said, “Although there ARE differences for people with different amounts to lose, I think the day to day decisions are often the same.” I think we can all agree that she’s right about that.
When I read her words I decided to give the meeting a chance, and the fact is that it was filled with people who have different journeys, different ideas and similar goals. I even made a friend and look forward to going back next week.
In addition to reactivating my monthly pass, I’ve committed to exercising again. As soon as I started circuit training yesterday I was reminded that I love it, and I’m confident that finding motivation to sweat won’t be a struggle again right away. I love endorphins! I also appreciate the support and encouragement I received from an important friend last night. (You know who you are…Thank you..xo)
This year has been filled with important emotional challenges, changes and growth. I’ve accomplished things in my heart and my head (and with family and friends) that I’m simply not ready to share here. I can look back at the last several months and be proud of myself, but it’s time to do more. It’s time to put my physical health at the forefront and work toward the physical changes that are also important to me.
Maybe this journey isn’t difficult for you, but it’s hard for me. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most rewarding and among the most important.
I forgive myself for slipping, and I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to take tiny little steps in the right direction. It’s what I want, and it’s what I need so I’m doing it.
Are you satisfied with your choices you’ve made for your health and lifestyle in 2012? Is there an area in which you could improve? If so, will you share them with us?