Negative Comments

by Kenlie Tiggeman on November 28, 2012

When I don’t blog for a day or two I miss it.  I miss discussing things that matter to me with people who understand me, but I don’t miss the horribly negative comments from jerk offs that don’t know me.

I didn’t even blog yesterday, but I received a comment from someone who thinks I’m “despicable for being overweight and having the nerve to think I deserve respect.”  Sure…I recognize that the guy’s opinion of me is not my business or my problem, but it gets old.

Almost every time I check the blog comments there are good ones and a bad one.  I’ve mentioned before that there are  trolls obsessing over why they dislike me on a regular basis so it’s expected.

Those comments don’t affect me even when I accidentally read them, but the realization that so many people think I’m horrible for no reason other than my size pisses me off.

I respect myself, and I’m going to do it regardless of whether or not cowards show up here to hate me.  I realize that I have to take the good with the bad, and I do.  Sometimes I just need to complain about it a little.

Do you get negative comments on your blog?  If so, does it happen often?  How do you handle it?

 

 

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Deborah November 28, 2012 at 4:44 am

I haven’t really had any to date, but I know Skinny Emmie is dealing with this exact issue at the moment. It’s hard as I write about weight loss but am conscious that the loss part hasn’t been going very well lately.

I do get politely ‘called out’ when I’m dithering over something or doing something when I know better.

But the haters or trolls are always going to be there. The so-called mummy (mommy) blogger face them too and I think it’s something that’s increasing. I don’t mind (gulp!) constructive criticism, but when it’s not delivered in a kind way, then it’s really not appreciated.

xx

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Judy Susan November 28, 2012 at 4:52 am

They know from where I came.. most don’t have the guts or the stupidity to do that on my blog.

I’m very surprised your readers did not rip him a new one. It’s usually the readers that go after the nasty people that leave that kind of comment. I’m shocked.

Maybe they didn’t see it.. or that’s not their policy.. around our place of business and negative comment means a pretty nasty gang war.. lol

Hang tough.. it’s all in a days work. We take the good with the evil. If we want to blog… well…. we need blog fodder..and no one leaves that better than a jerk-off…

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Jessica November 28, 2012 at 6:02 am

I just wonder what makes people *tick* sometimes. I 100% believe in filing a complaint, or expressing my dislike to a company pertaining to a product, ESPECIALLY when my money is involved. If I read something that falls under the hate/abuse category and it affects me I might take the time to speak my peace/stand up for the less powerful…I LOVE reading blogs. I love the insight into other peoples lives, I love new ideas, new recipes, I love the stories people share, the struggles. I have posted my concerns with a recipe I tried and pointed out the mistype in the original posting.. because I thought it would help another who wanted to try it.. But the thought that one would take the time to berate, abuse, defile and condemn another just to do it, based on such trivial reasons is so sad….
The other night I watched the episode of Taboo that was about weight. The one lady was over 400lbs and proud of it. Thought that her life was great and worked with many groups to decrease the negativity pertaining to being fat, worked as a model for those who wanted to see pictures of her in her lingerie…Her call, her choice.. I felt badly for her, I felt badly b/c although it is not a problem for her NOW, it will be.. just common sense wise.. Her body will slow down, her joints will start to feel the effect and the ability to lose the weight will be MUCH harder in the long run.. and for her that makes me sad.. BUT she is also a very smart woman.. so I will not deny her the right to make her life choices and I will not take the time to locate her public info and berate her for her choices…. Obviously this falls under a hot topic button for me, people doing idiotic and obnoxious things to other people.. Otherwise I would not be putting this much effort into a post!
Good for you for not letting the haters inside your head. They are cowards who hide behind a screen. I find you an inspiration, a breath of fresh air and so down to earth and real… Keep up the real work!

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Holly from 300 Pounds Down November 28, 2012 at 6:18 am

AAAH!!! This is horrible. I am SO sorry this happened to you. Clearly anyone leaving that kind of a comment has their own problems that they need to deal with. I wonder sometimes why anyone in this world would find it necessary to pile more shame and condemnation onto someone for their weight…as if we don’t already battle that coming from within ourselves? As if your size or your weight has any correlation whatsoever to your worth. Ridiculous!!!! You are awesome and perhaps that person can’t take your awesomeness!!!!

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Bailey @ Onederland or Bust! November 28, 2012 at 8:16 am

I haven’t received a negative comment yet, but my blog isn’t nearly as popular as yours. I honestly don’t know how I would handle it, but I do know that it would hurt and I’m sure it would upset me. It’s hard to to take them personally even if they don’t know you.

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Emily@emilythegood.blogspot.com November 28, 2012 at 8:46 am

I don’t get a huge ton of comments. I try to shrug off anything mean said to me, in general. There are so many people that are unkind just for the sake of it.

Particularly on the internet, there are a ton of people that hid behind the anonymity of the internet to make these kinds of comments. I suspect not a one of them would be courageous enough to say these things to your face. Cowards. That’s what they are.

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Adam November 28, 2012 at 9:20 am

I would rather be overweight than some loser who has mental and anger challenges, spending time making comments that most people don’t bother to read. I mean think about what sort of loser you have to be to do that.

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Shelladawn November 29, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Totally agree. And the crap they write is not about “you”. Its their own insecurities bubbling to the surface and instead of having a hard long look at themselves, they choose to be a keyboard warrior hiding behind their computer screen having a go at somebody who is popular and helping others. They are jealous and seriously need to grow up and get a life.

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mary November 28, 2012 at 9:31 am

i am always astounded as to why one person thinks they have the right to tell another something so horrible and disturbing , hiding behind the “safety” of their computer.
i get very little comments on my blogs, only when i get a chance to participate in ‘friend makin mondays’ other wise i think very few people read them
mean people are bullies, often times lashing out at those they feel they can lash out at instead of dealing with THEIR own issues.
to those i say…grow up, shut up , and deal with it~ everyone has things they are dealing with so deal with it

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Kerie November 28, 2012 at 11:27 am

Hi there! I’ve been reading your blog for probably the last year but I have never commented. I just wanted to let you know there are always going to be haters. I don’t really understand why people feel the need to comment on things in such a hateful way. I just started my blog and I don’t have many followers but I dread the day for the hateful comments. My suggestion to you is, know that what you are doing is wonderful and inspirational. Don’t let the haters win. Give it a moments thoughts and then move on. You don’t know them and their opinion of you does not matter. You are a beautiful individual, living an honest life. Believe in yourself!

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Alesha November 28, 2012 at 11:48 am

What a sad sad world we live in! Its unbelievable to me that there are still people who believe your worth is connected to your body size!! Good for you not letting it get you down…but you definitely deserve to feel pissed!! I enjoy your blog…I look for it every day! You are an inspiration to me…and many others! Thank you for allowing us into your life!

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Patty November 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm

The “trolls” are pretty sad…they need to leave these kind of comments on the blog of people who love and respect themselves and are doing something to better their lives. Time would be better spent if they looked at their own lives.

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Jenn November 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm

My blog only has a few followers. It’s growing though and I’m happy about that, but I do worry about the day when I receive some hurtful and hateful comment. I’ve been beaten up lately online as it is because of other comments I’ve made in a few FB groups, people didn’t like my opposing viewpoints and tore me apart. I mean personally went after me. I couldn’t believe how people are sometimes so quick to tear people apart because they think differently than you.
You have a great thing going here. There is so much support and you offer inspiration and hope for those of us who are battling the same issues. It’s always nice to know that we aren’t alone in our battles.
Keep your chin up! Mean people suck. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to just let it all roll off your back. It’s amazing how easy it is to “believe” the negative especially when there is so much more positive to be seen.

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Grace @ Grace Dishes November 28, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I hate cyber bullies who hide anonymously and have zero accountability. I don’t even respond or publish. They literally are cowards to me.

You are wonderful and an inspiration. It’s hard to put yourself out here because you are going to have a broad spectrum of responses.

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Jennifer November 28, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I always wonder what makes the trolls think they’re so damned perfect in every way. I’m sorry someone was an asshole to you. Sad little empty shell of a person, whomever it was.

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Samantha @ Weight Watching in the Windy City November 28, 2012 at 7:45 pm

The fact of the matter is people who do those things truly have no happiness in their lives. I’m really sorry this happened to you, and really all I can say is just ignore it. Your weight does not define who you are, and if these jerks aren’t interested in getting to know you before they voice their opinion of you, then their opinion is worth just about as much as they are … nothing. Feel better!

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Eric Van De Ven November 28, 2012 at 8:10 pm

I can’t understand what would possess a person to follow a blog, then make negative comments about the author. I would have to guess it is a mechanism to cover up their own shortcomings.

I can moderate all my comments so even if someone were to make a negative comment, it would never see the light of day.

The fact that they are doing a “hit and run” hiding behind the keyboard, speaks volumes about the type of persons they are. I would just laugh and move on to the positive! :)

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Cathy November 28, 2012 at 10:48 pm

LOL @ Adam! It really does seem like a “loser-y” concept, leaving nasty messages for people that you’ve never met. Clearly these people can’t maintain a relationship face-to-face. How utterly hopeless their lives must be. It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for them…except for the fact that bullies don’t deserve my pity.

So F.U., bullies.

( I really need to get comfortable with saying what I think.)

C.

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Violet November 29, 2012 at 1:43 am

^ What Adam and Cathy said. :)

Really, though, I’m so sorry to hear that you have to experience that. One would think the blogging world would be a respectful one, but unfortunately, any world has people who like to stir up trouble.

The fact that you do actually have troubles speak volumes as to how popular your blog is. Why would anyone bother to take down/speak negatively of a blogger when there’s no audience? There is some jealousy there, for sure. Or some insecurities of their own.

Just know your supporters greatly outweigh your critics, and that your supporters know your journey, how hard you’ve worked to get where you are, and how your blog speaks to how beautiful you are, inside and out.

That being said, I don’t blame you for being pissed off or complaining. It really is frustrating when someone judges on such superficial things without even getting to know someone.

Keep on doing what you’re doing, and being comfortable in the skin you’re in. It’s inspiring!

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Eric Van De Ven November 29, 2012 at 6:39 am
Abigail November 29, 2012 at 9:38 am

I don’t have a blog but I wanted to comment because honestly, I find it so sad. Not for you, for them. They must feel horrible about themselves or have an awful life for them to feel the need to seek you out, then tell you awful things. They are projecting on you and I’m sorry that you have to deal with that. I suppose it comes with the territory. But whenever you feel hurt by what they say, try to turn it around and project on them, (not by calling names but imagine them having awful lives and feel superior to them) they deserve it.
As Cathy said they don’t deserve my pity, but I think that’s exactly what they deserve, who actually LIKES to be pitied? lol They’re pathetic.

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Tina November 29, 2012 at 10:24 am

I don’t do well with negative people, especially ones that are hiding behind a keyboard being negative. If they met you face to face chances are they would NEVER have the guts to say what they do on your blog. I know you only through this blog, but I feel I know a few things about you and if these idiots cared enough to read beyond the weight part of it they would too. The problem is, they don’t care. They don’t care about what’s inside. They don’t care that you are nice. They don’t care that you’re smart. They don’t see that you are fierce. They don’t see that you’re a fighter. You fall, but get right back up. They don’t care about YOU.

I read something that kind of fits this situation: “There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it’s with themselves.”

Delete it and move on. Don’t waste your time or energy on trolls.

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Sheilah November 29, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I’m so sorry that they are so many jerks that have no respect for themselves so they leech onto others. I haven’t received any negative comments but I’m dealing with spam right now. Getting 100′s of spam messages daily. The sad thing is that I only have a couple of friends and when they comment, I’m afraid it’s getting lost in the spam. I’ve reported it to no avail. I don’t won’t to change my blog address, but I may have to.

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Christy November 29, 2012 at 9:45 pm

People can be such jerks. I just delete them and move on with my life. I don’t give them the time of the day. You’re so much better than them and they just want to bring you down! Love what you’re doing with your life…keep it up, girl.

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Ais December 1, 2012 at 8:07 am

I moderate my comments — which also lets me know when I get them, so I can reply to them quickly and I don’t let any of the trolls through. I would say for every ten positive comments I get one negative, and two or three spam; but you also have to keep the amount of visitors in mind, I’m getting 100-150 hits a day, so not that many opportunities for the trolls to come out from under their bridges.

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Tiffany December 1, 2012 at 10:16 am

I found this site on yahoo news about flying. I have been thinking of starting a blog myself. I applaud you for what you do. I don’t understand why people have to be rude to us women because we have extra pounds. Why is that so wrong? What about the people who starve themselves? They are not looked upon as gross. I have always experienced a battle with my weight. I have days that I will not leave my house. My boyfriend is very supportive and many times he will sit and cry with me because I am hurting so bad. People do not understand what their comments put a person through. Get past our size and look at us. When pompous jerks start putting me down I often ask myself what is wrong with them to make them feel so horrible that they have to say such mean and rude things. Being overweight does not mean all we do is sit around and eat. Many factors contribute to weight gain, medications, diabetes, thyroid problems, depression, and that is just to name a few. The only thing that keeps me going is my boyfriend telling me I am beautiful and how much he loves me. He is in the military and yes he is in shape but he sees me for me and loves me. For that I am very thankful.

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Tracy December 1, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I would just refer to Tony the Anti-Jared blog….now that guy has a way w/ words. Keep your chin up I always love reading your blog!

Tracy

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Melissa (@TheDailyMel) December 3, 2012 at 1:50 am

It totally sucks when we are judged simply because of our weight. The fact that we have a weight issue doesn’t make us any less human or any less deserving of respect than someone who is thin. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t give those trolls the pleasure of taking up any real estate space in your head. Hang in there, kiddo! Love you!! {{{hugs}}}

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stephanie December 3, 2012 at 2:06 am

I’m dreading this moment. I’m new to the blogging world and don’t know how I will handle it for now I have my comments set up to be approved first.

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Jen@HealthyFoodandFamily December 3, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Freaking bullies :(
So sorry they are targeting you :(

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Joe December 3, 2012 at 9:00 pm

My blog is still in it’s infancy and the few comments I have been getting have been extremely positive. Not sure why someone would go out of their way to be negative regarding someones weight loss experience. Seems like they are pretty negative people to do that.

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skm December 3, 2012 at 11:04 pm

I used to write a blog that had a decent-sized and diverse readership. After I got married, I was doing a “recap” of the day and posted the only picture that I had off of my camera of me and my husband. Nothing too spectacular – just me, the husband … and here was the comment some a**hole left: “Cutting and eating cake is the last thing you need to be doing…trust me. In fact, the only thing you should be “cutting” is the amount of food you stuff your face with.”

Nice.

Haters gonna hate. The internet is a perfect place for trolls to lurk. Keep on keepin’ on, Kenlie … you’re beautiful inside and out.

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Diana McAdams December 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Where are you ? Missing your writings !

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Tammy December 5, 2012 at 8:43 am

I don’t get many comments….but I HAVE gotten a few negative ones that weren’t nice at all. Basically telling me to “get a life” or whatever….I always reply nasty things back to them…which I probably shouldn’t do…but it totally pisses me off that they troll…but they have nothing to say except for something negative. I basically tell them that if they don’t like my blog, then to quit reading it. Their negative comments make me feel bad for the rest of the friggin’ day & that pisses me off. I was never great with criticism & that hasn’t changed. I have even backed off on what I put in my blog to an extent. If you read what I used to write compared to now, you can definitely tell the difference. I used to be A LOT more open about things & what was going on in my life. Now I’m too “afraid” of being judged. It sucks. You are beautiful. Don’t let the haters get you down.

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Lynne June 5, 2013 at 1:34 am

Honey, inore them fools. when you have a blog as popular as yours the pool gets wider and deeper and therefore riff raff wade in. Those who follow and understand your journey are who your blog is for. It’s the popularity of it – the fame that draws in the idiots. I have kept a blog for years and though I think it is great, it is not popular – therefore I receive few comments and no remarks from haters.

So actually, these idiots are just par for the course. It means you are successful. don’t let one monkey stop your show or steal your thunder.
Cheers!

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