How Would You Handle This?

I joined a new gym a few weeks ago, and I love the gym. I do not love the way I was treated on my third trip to the gym, and I have avoided going back since. I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until I drove up to workout yesterday afternoon.

I had my gym bag and everything that I needed to workout, but I convinced myself not to go in. I didn’t want to be mocked like I was last time I was there.

While swimming a mile in the pool I was mocked by a woman who snapped a couple of pics of me on her phone. She told me that I wasn’t doing myself any good swimming that slowly, and my response to her was that I was doing a lot more than she was.

If you read my blog you know that I have endured more than my fair share of hurtful words from strangers who think I’m worthless because I’m overweight. I experienced during my first few experiences in New York City, and I didn’t go back to that gym for a long time either.

I only used my free trial a few times, and now I’m paying for a membership that’s far from inexpensive that I don’t use. I think I’ve decided to go in and cancel my membership tomorrow, but I think that sucks for a few reasons:

1. I need a gym, and this one is conveniently located. There’s a branch close to my school and one close to my apartment.

2. I can swim laps outside all year because this is Louisiana and the pools are heated. There’s a pool inside too for days like today in which it’s too cold to be outside.

3. There are Zumba classes and a lot of other classes. I loved doing Zumba and looked forward to doing it a few times a week.

4. It’s big, and the staff is really friendly.

5. There’s a lot of space to shower and get dressed after my workout which means I can do it before school too.

I have allowed myself to miss out on something positive for myself because of something negative that someone did. The easy answer is “brush it off. Go back and forget about that person.” But doing that is exhausting. Google me, and you’ll see what I have a lot of experience in “brushing it off.”

My gym should be a place where I can go and sweat like an animal without being ridiculed. It should be a safe place, shouldn’t it?

My plan is to go in tomorrow to cancel my membership and to make membership aware of why I don’t plan to go back. I think they should know even if it doesn’t matter to them.

What would you do? Would you brush it off, or would you take issue with it? How would you resolve it and convince yourself to go back?

Update: I’m not saying that I’ll abandon all gyms. I have to have one, but if I’m paying $80 per month I expect to be in a place in which I am not harassed.

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68 Comments

  • Reply
    Laurie
    December 12, 2012 at 2:29 am

    They need to make their gym a place that people want to go. If they have patrons that act like that, it hurts their business a hell of a lot more than one cancelled membership. I would have a hard time going back, too. I would probably look for a place where I felt more comfortable. It’s just too bad that the place didn’t have time to make a GOOD impression on your before that jerk lady ruined it all with her bad impression. And taking photos of you working out? That’s usually against company policy at most gyms.

    Talk to them, tell them you’re considering cancelling your membership. If they aren’t willing to fight with you, and for you, they aren’t the place to be.

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    • Reply
      angie
      December 12, 2012 at 5:12 pm

      Agreed! I work in a gym and we do not tolerate members disrespecting other members. If I hear of it happening, I am to report it to the owner. He will IMMEDIATELY terminate their membership. The gym is a supportive place, not a place to be disrespected or treated like that. I would report this person to managment and tell them you are considering cancelling. If they are worth their salt, they will terminate her membership or at least put her on notice.

      Our thoughts are that if you have the courage to step foot in the gym, you are already doing more than someone that is sitting on the couch. Just because your workout doesn’t match mine, hers, his, theirs, whatever, doesn’t make it less of a workout.

      Oh my gosh, I am so mad at that woman that I just want to push her into the dang pool WITH her stupid phone in hand. GRRRRR!

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  • Reply
    Evil Pixie
    December 12, 2012 at 2:48 am

    I would take issue with it, but my approach would be different. I would make the gym aware of the member who is snapping photographs of their membership. This is a privacy violation, and they should be aware of it. Additionally, I would put the woman on notice that I don’t appreciate her comments and she should focus on her own work-out instead of taking such a special interest in other people’s work-outs.

    By quitting – she wins. She has now stolen your power, and you’ve allowed her to do it. Those experiences will continue to happen to you, but it is up to you to break the cycle and regain your power. The gym is a win-win for you for reasons beyond the other members. Don’t allow them to take that win away from you.

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    • Reply
      Ximena
      December 12, 2012 at 11:02 am

      I totally Agree with Evil Pixie, you need to address this matter in the best way that will suit you. You have posted several time how much you love to exercise and how you feel after working out and I think you deserve to have that satisfaction feeling and do not let someone strange to your life and accomplishments affect you.

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      • Reply
        Kenlie
        December 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

        Maybe I should have reported it immediately, but it hurt me. I didn’t let the woman know how much it bothered me, and I continued swimming until I completed my swim. But the gym should be a supportive environment, not a mean one.

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        • Reply
          Evil Pixie
          December 12, 2012 at 10:44 pm

          I agree, Kenlie. The gym should be a supportive environment, but not everyone believes the same. Unfortunately, there are people out there who prefer the tiresome approach of belittling others, often in passive-aggressive ways, to make themselves feel better/superior. But until people like you and I stand up and said, “Uh… I don’t think so!” – even when we’re pissed off – they will continue to believe it is okay to treat others this way. And you just never know where the gym stands until they are informed of what happened, so it is really important to make sure they are made aware. How the gym responds will tell you a lot about where the gym’s priorities are and whether it really is the gym for you.

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        • Reply
          Val
          December 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm

          Unfortunately, if no one made the gym aware this situation occurred, we don’t know how they would have dealt with it. Communication in all situations is so crucial. The staff can’t be everywhere all the time.

          I would say that you should tell them what happened and see how they handle it. Then you can take issue with it and cancel if they don’t do what is right. Everyone should at least have a chance to do what’s right.

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    • Reply
      Natalie
      December 13, 2012 at 12:31 am

      Totally agree! Most clubs/pools have no phone policies (once I was just trying to photograph my son swimming a lap in his clothes for a science experiment about the drag effect and I was told to stop) for privacy purpoes. Total violation! Don’t quit, because then she ruins what is YOUR great effort! I know it must be exhausting, but make it about YOU! And then get her banned 🙂

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  • Reply
    mary
    December 12, 2012 at 3:33 am

    i would have a hard time going back too.
    how dare she invade your time and life by snapping photos for her reasons
    without asking , just doing. rude and downright mean girl tactics.

    people are so incredibly disrespectful anymore
    i think you know (i think i told you) i am in the 32nd year of working retail
    it is thankless , NO ONE ever says thank you to us for working, for ringing up all the crap they put into their carts then piss and moan when the total is given and they act like we put a dag gone gun to their head to buy things…
    just tonight one lady out of thousands i have ever helped looked me in the eye and said “thank you for working retail, i don’t know how you do it with so many ungrateful souls out there these days”
    i almost cried.

    you have to do what i right for you dear kenlie.
    this woman should be ashamed of herself.
    not the other way around

    xo

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  • Reply
    Shelladawn
    December 12, 2012 at 3:35 am

    She took photo’s of you? WTF? No no no no no no. And as for her comment, she has no idea of your workout routine, the hard yards you have literally put in. I also think that her taking snaps would be against the gym’s policy. What a stupid horrible cow. Sorry that this has happened to you. Just remember most people are cool, its just this 1 percent that suck. Deffo tell the gym what happened. You are a lady. I would have got out of the pool and thrown her bloody phone in the pool. Cos thats how we roll here in downtown Australia! Good luck with whatever you decide.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      December 12, 2012 at 6:04 pm

      I swam a mile while she sat and watched me….Seriously….What right does she have to judge me? Yikes.

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  • Reply
    Zan
    December 12, 2012 at 3:55 am

    In reality I would avoid the gym for a while too because I was embarrassed, but after I’d gotten over the hurt I’d be angry and then go and take issue with it. Could you recognise the woman again, if you could point her put, as people before me have said she is probably violating the rules of the gym by taking photos. If you want to tell them you’re considering cancelling to galvanising them into action then you can, but is this woman’s bigotry really worth your health? The gym should be a safe place, and asshats like her shouldn’t be allowed to take that away, but I really feel that by quitting all you would really be doing is feeding in to her misguided stereotype. You can’t control idiots, but you can prove them wrong.

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  • Reply
    Zan
    December 12, 2012 at 3:56 am

    Er, I posted before I read my comment back, excuse the use of English (or indeed, the lack of same).

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  • Reply
    Vicki
    December 12, 2012 at 4:01 am

    I agree with Evil Pixie, surely it’s illegal for her to have taken photographs of you without your permission and the gym shiuld be made aware of it.
    If it is only this ignorant woman who is putting you off the gym then please don’t let her win.

    (Btw i’m very sirry we didn’t manage to meet up when i was in New Orleans in October)

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  • Reply
    Deborah
    December 12, 2012 at 4:13 am

    I completely understand why you felt uncomfortable but I’d try to remind myself that she was just one person and decide that the issue was hers. Who says she know better / more than you anyway!

    And I agree with the others. Taking pictures of someone without their permission (unless tourist photos etc) is very wrong. I’d talk to the staff about that and explain how you feel. I know that they can’t control the attitude of gym-goers but they can control their behaviour!

    Deb

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  • Reply
    Glenneth
    December 12, 2012 at 5:56 am

    Talk to the gym management (whoever you feel most comfortable talking to). Make sure they are aware that (a) she is snapping photos and (b) you are willing to cancel your membership. Keep us posted!

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    • Reply
      Becky
      December 12, 2012 at 1:12 pm

      I agree with this 100%!!!!

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  • Reply
    Brandy
    December 12, 2012 at 5:58 am

    That is ridiculous! While I don’t think you should stop going to that gym because of that one incident, I do think you should absolutely tell someone at the gym, get their reaction, and ask them to do something about it (maybe speaking about the inappropriateness to the member). Also, many gyms have a no camera/phone rule at the pool and I think it’s asinine for someone to stand at a gym pool and snap a pic. I would ask for that to be banned. Otherwise, if I lived everything else I would take it for what it is, a nasty person being nasty and continue loving the gym. I’m sorry this happened and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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  • Reply
    Tammy
    December 12, 2012 at 7:06 am

    I would definitely tell management why you were considering dropping your membership. But, I think you should reconsider actually cancelling it. If this gym is close and has what you are looking for in regards to equipment and classes, then you will be more likely to use it. It’s hard enough to work out in the winter, without having to make yourself travel somewhere to do it.

    Don’t let her win.

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  • Reply
    annamarie
    December 12, 2012 at 8:09 am

    You have come so far with your health, well being and strength, etc. Do not allow this ignorant of a human being cut you down. You and so many are proud of you of what you have accomplished. Do talk to the management of this incident, especially taking photos of you. The gym should be made aware of this person actions and they should also do something about it. DO NOT allow anyone to interfere with your happiness, they are just jealous. Shame on them.

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  • Reply
    Karen P
    December 12, 2012 at 8:12 am

    Don’t let other people’s comments stop you from getting what you need. Tell gym management and try to ID the member. Taking photos is against the rules.

    Mean people are a dime a dozen. I know this be cause I had been overweight for 40 years. I am 46. Great counseling topic , by the way. A good congative behavior specialist can work with you to deal with your own response to the BS people dole out.

    Guess what? There are still mean people, even though I’m at goal weight. What changed is controlling my response, not the mean people.

    Good luck and hope you’ll consider learning a new response. A new, healthy way of thinking is very important as you loose the weight , IMO. Covered by most health insurances

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  • Reply
    heidi
    December 12, 2012 at 8:23 am

    When I lived in New Orleans, I was also a member of that gym. It was the largest gym I HAD EVER stepped foot it & I agree that it was really nice. However, I found it was filled with muscle meatheads & that always bothered me. I would like to say just to brush it off, but I take things very personally &would forever be afraid to see that horrible woman again. It’s also not a cheap gym to belong too to not use your membership. When I lived there, there, that was practically the only gym around. Are there other gym options to join now? Or you can just say screw it & hope that u do see that woman again to give her a piece of your mind! Some people can be such idiots. I’m sorry that u had to go through that. Chin up! There are a lot of people on your side!

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  • Reply
    Crcala
    December 12, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Wow, what a jerk! She must be very insecure. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. What kind of person judges how another person exercises? I think your response to her was 100% awesome and I’m impressed that you thought up something like that right on the spot! (I never can).

    Kenlie, this is my first time posting on your blog, although I have been reading for a while. I want you to know that you are inspiring to me, and that sometimes when I don’t feel like going to exercise I’ll think “Kenlie goes to the gym and pushes herself, I should too”. I can’t imagine putting my weight loss journey on the internet for all to see and dealing with the negative comments. You are very brave, and I hope you know there are people out there who maybe don’t comment all the time but who think you are awesome and are cheering you on.

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    • Reply
      jennifer
      December 13, 2012 at 9:24 am

      THIS! I agree with everything Crcala says. Kenlie, I too have never posted, but I read you consistently. I think you are amazing, strong, funny, and wonderful. My fantasy is that you go in to speak to management, see this horrid woman, point her out, and watch as her membership is cancelled. That would be justice.

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  • Reply
    Elizabeth
    December 12, 2012 at 8:44 am

    I don’t know if its a matter of her winning by you not going there. If you don’t feel comfortable and you are able to find a place that is more comforting to you, then you win. An experience like that would truly hurt my soul, I think you should bring it up to gym management and if you feel that it is right to cancel your membership then you should. I think finding the perfect gym is worth it.

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  • Reply
    katie@thecarbmonster
    December 12, 2012 at 9:00 am

    Hey girl, this sucks…BIG TIME. I know all about gym intimidation because I have done the same thing so many times. Even just going to do a walk in popular area I’ll just end up driving around vs getting out of my car to walk.

    In this instance, I can’t even comprehend someone commenting on someone else’s workout. I could understand, “hey, try adjusting your stroke like this”…helpful comments, etc. but sounds like this person has too much time on their hands lol.

    If you like the gym, I think you should have reported the other person. Teasing and bullying has to be against some policy, especially taking uninvited pics. What a B**CH 😛

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  • Reply
    Karen
    December 12, 2012 at 9:12 am

    I fully agree with some of those above. The gym needs to be made aware of this woman who was taking photos of you. Many gyms discourage or simply do not allow cell phones for that very reason. You may want to check your gym rules to see if they have such a policy. Whether they do or not, report it. If they don’t, they might establish one.

    Aside from the legality, my gosh, what a wretched person. You have every right to be hurt and upset and even wary about the incident.

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  • Reply
    Amber
    December 12, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I had something similar happen to me. Some turd kid started humming the song from dumbo while I was walking on the treadmill. It upset me so much. I had a really hard time going back. But when I finally did, I didn’t see the kid again. Probably you wont see that horrible woman again. And you should take issue with it. You do not deserve to be bullied. You do deserve to have a membership at a nice gym where you can work on your health. It really sucks that that happened because you are an awesome person.
    Before you cancel your membership ask them what the policy on that is.

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  • Reply
    Diane
    December 12, 2012 at 9:30 am

    I agree with most of the other comments. I think that you should talk to management about the situation and let them know that you are thinking of canceling. Do not make a final decisions until you have the conversation with them. I am sorry that this happened, people are cruel, as you know. Hang in there. You have come so far and probably worked 10 times (or more) as hard as her to get where you are and you should be proud of that!

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  • Reply
    Ann
    December 12, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Oh my GOD!

    I highly suggest telling management. I know my gym would take both the picture taking and scolding very seriously.

    Good luck!

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  • Reply
    Trisha
    December 12, 2012 at 9:45 am

    I don’t think its fair you are cancelling this because of what some woman did, why are you giving her all the power? I would make a complaint about her, and you should go back every day and start wearing a bikini!

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  • Reply
    Brooke
    December 12, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Chalk another stupid thing up to the human race. Instead of giving you props for putting forth an effort to get active (which you are way more) she puts you down. I could only guess that this is a lack of something in her own personal life. Perhaps she is mad at you for being proactive in your health and mad at herself for sitting by the pool. To be honest, I’ve dealt with bullies all my life. And I’ve found the more you egg them on the more they come at you. I would go back to the gym and check their policy on pictures in the gym area and if there is a policy I would ask them to make copies and post it in prominent areas around the gym. If you finger out this person, then you will probably get more crap from her b/c she will know who you are. But, if its something posted and other members she her or anyone else doing it, then its not on you. I guess that is a coward way of doing it, but its also a less confrontational way to handle it. I can’t say that I wouldn’t feel the same way you do. It was the hardest thing walking into the gym. To be honest, the gym is almost always a majority of already fit people. So the one fat girl really stands out. I work for a college, so I have a gym for free to use. But, I have to share it with college aged kids. It was really intimidating walking into the gym or zumba and working out with 20 something little college girls. One day, one of those girls saw me in the bathroom and said to me, “I see you in here all the time and you are really working out and you look great.” There are times that I still feel like eyes are on me watching my butt jiggle on the elliptical and there probably are some. Mostly, though, they have kept their thoughts to themseleves, but I’m glad that the one girl didn’t. Sometimes there are just nasty people in this world and believe me I have had my share of people treat me like garbage b/c of my weight (when I was in middle school and guy actually kicked me just b/c I was fat.), but I think you will find that there are a lot of people who may be admirers of your hard work and dedication to becoming healthier that just don’t say it.

    You could always kill her with kindness or deflect her ignorance. Hell, I’d go get my phone, go up to her and say, “Hey, let me text you a photo of me when I was ____lbs, your Tweet will be way more interesting then.” Or throw her for a loop, “Say and what would you recommend I do differently.” When people like that throw out negative, they expect the same reaction back, but when you don’t give them what they expect…………..they are just left looking even more dumb.

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  • Reply
    Denise
    December 12, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Personally, I’d stick my big behind in that woman’s face every chance I got. Do NOT let her steal your power!! Do let the gym know the kind of member she is however. That is bullying and it is not ok. She could get hold of a weaker person and it could end tragically.

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  • Reply
    Patty
    December 12, 2012 at 10:03 am

    I agree talk to the management about the incident and I’m sure that picture taking is a gym violation. If they handle the situation well then that is the gym for you. If they don’t you can decide from there.

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  • Reply
    Mandy
    December 12, 2012 at 10:40 am

    I haven’t read all the other comments yet, but my advice is to NOT cancel your membership. You should tell the gym staff about your experience, definitely, but they have no immediate control over the people who attend…and here’s the kicker: neither does any other gym. They can be on the lookout for it once they know it’s a problem, sure, but they can’t always catch the assholes like that. If you cancel your membership, that dumb bitch with the camera wins. Don’t let her win, Kenz!

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  • Reply
    Barbara B
    December 12, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Don’t let them get you down!

    I pulled up their membership guide, and what that woman did it absolutely against the policy (number 19 specifically).

    I imagine they will be very supportive of you and would hope they would expell the offender!

    19. The use of cell phones in all training areas,
    exercise studios, and locker rooms is strictly
    prohibited. Cameras or other image-capturing
    devices are strictly prohibited in all areas of the
    Clubs, except with prior Club approval. You are
    welcome to use cell phones in the lobby and
    entrance areas and in other unrestricted areas
    as posted in the Clubs.

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  • Reply
    Erin
    December 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

    The majority of your post lists the reasons why you LIKE this particular gym, with the exception of this one chance encounter with some jerkface chick who was rude. Yes, chicks can be jerkfaces.

    I wouldn’t walk away from a gym I really like over one jerkface, but I would definitely report the inappropriate behavior (rudeness, cell phone photos) to management. The gym surely has a code of conduct for its members, no?!

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  • Reply
    Sarah
    December 12, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Girl, I hate that someone made you feel that way. The fact is, there are really sucky people on this planet. If you had to alter your life to avoid them, you’d have to become a hermit. I wouldn’t let it bother me from a personal perspective – this wasn’t “personal”. She doesn’t know you! She’s just a mean girl. That said, I’d have a talk with the gym and report her because the fact is she took pictures of you and THAT is really wrong and possibly illegal. I agree with others, you walking out forever = her winning. Fight the fight for the good people girl! I know it’s exhausting but believe me, it’s never going to end and the more you do it (practice!), the less personal you’ll take the actions of “mean people”.

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  • Reply
    Aimee
    December 12, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Oh my goodness Kenlie that is absolutely ridiculous. I cannot believe she was taking photos of you and said what she said. I am stunned. I totally understand you wanting to cancel your membership. I would have a difficult time returning too. I just don’t like that this ignorant childish person wins. She is nothing but a bully. She should be the one leaving the gym. I agree with others who have said the gym should be a safe place. I belong to the very cheap $10/month Planet Fitness. Their motto is no judgment zone. That is how all gyms should be. I’m so so sorry that you had to go through this Kenlie.

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  • Reply
    Julia
    December 12, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Wow, what a horrible person. I’m so sorry. She seriously sucks and clearly must be really insecure in order to put you down like that.

    I agree with the others though in that canceling your membership lets her win. But something definitely needs to be said. Go speak with management…in both locations even! And if she has been mean to you she has and will continue to be mean to others and will, in turn, lose more members. Hash it out with management and demand for something to be done.

    It sounds like an amazing gym otherwise– if you feel like you can be successful there then it’s worth fighting the fight. We all know we go to the gym more if we like it there and look forward to going. Locations seem great and good Zumba classes are harder to come by than you’d think!

    Just my two sense. I’m sorry again. I for one can say I wish had someone around like you to motivate me to go to the gym and be my workout buddy. 🙂

    Keep us updated on all this, will ya? I’m curious as to what you decide to do.

    Keep on keepin’ on.

    -Julia

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  • Reply
    Shannon
    December 12, 2012 at 11:47 am

    NO! Don’t cancel your membership! I know its hard to go back to something when you have been made to feel poorly, but if you cancel your membership then bigoted jerks like that win! You are better than that! You should not sacrifice for an a$$ like that. The gym I go to (granted its free b/c I work at a college) but even still…taking pics is prohibited! If it was me, I would go in and file a complaint. The jerk not only created a hostile environment for you, but was rude and violated your privacy. They should be punished, not you.

    This really hit home for me…it brought back a memory that I (thought was) buried a long time ago. Do you mind if I link this post on my page?

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  • Reply
    Sarah
    December 12, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Love you Kenlie! And I dont think you should let that woman win, you listed some great reasons why you liked that particular gym, dont let the stupid acts of a poisonous person stop you from following through with whats important to you. I know that it is so so hard to continually suck it up, brush it off, and move forward with your head held high, but I know you can do it! We are all here to support and encourage you, let us 🙂 Unfortunately you are going to encounter destructive people whether or not you should, they are out there. but KNOW this….you are better than that, you deserve better than that, and you have an army of people who are behind you, let us give you that extra bit of support and love when you need it. XOXO

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  • Reply
    Aly
    December 12, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Kenlie-a bit off topic but still relevant-could you get a moderator for your site that’s not you? Either a friend or someone else, who can be the one of moderating the comments on your site? That way THEY can filter through them, deleting the ugly ones and you never have to even see them. That might be better than YOU deleting them, since the hurtful ones still hurt regardless of if they are posted. Have someone else mod them and you’ll never see them and that would help I think?

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      December 13, 2012 at 4:04 am

      I have considered it, but that task is simply too big to ask someone else to take on. And I love reading comments from people so I wouldn’t want to miss that because of the negative ones.

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      • Reply
        Sylvie @ StruggleswithaFatA
        December 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm

        Just a thought on you thinking it’s too great of a task to ask someone, I bet you have readers that would be willing. I believe even message board moderators are nothing more than people who stood out from posting a lot and got “promoted” to being a moderator.

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  • Reply
    Naa-Dei
    December 12, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for a little while and I have never commented, but I felt like I should today.

    I’m sorry that you had a horrible experience, but you have to focus on yourself. The gym is not about other people, it is about you. Get your game face on and workout. People will always look and people will always be mean. Don’t let mean people ruin the work and effort you have put in.

    If I was in your position I would continue at the gym because of the reasons you posted ( convenient, Zumba class, the pool, etc.). This is your path and there will always be people rooting for you to fail or succeed. Tune out the people who want you to fail and turn up the people that want you to succeed.

    Good Luck

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  • Reply
    Chona
    December 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Don’t cancel your membership! You’re right. The gym is for YOU. This is to benefit YOUR health and not someone random asshat who is taking pictures of you. That’s so horrible. And I’m sure you feel terrible and uncomfortable. But that that energy and focus on kicking serious booty in the gym the next time! Refocus and mentally kick that woman’s ass the next time you’re swimming laps. Swim laps around the b*tch. Ugh. I hate that she said/did that to you. Don’t jeopardize your good health because someone else has no soul or manners.

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  • Reply
    Sarah G
    December 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    I agree with Evil Pixie up there!

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  • Reply
    Valerie
    December 12, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Lots of comments and I didn’t read them all so forgive me if this is a repeat! Here’s what I would do:

    1) Tell management and let them know you are going to cancel if they don’t take action.

    2) Keep going to the gym. If this happens again, get out of the pool, take HER photo, and provide it to management so they can take action.

    3) Educate yourself on their terms of service and rules, which may prevent taking photos. If they do, don’t take her photo but make note of details so you can report her for doing so. Make sure she knows you are doing it, too. Get someone from the gym staff RIGHT AWAY if it happens again so they are immediately aware.

    I wouldn’t quit – if you do, she wins, and people LIKE her win. But I also wouldn’t just lie down and take it (and I know you won’t, either)!

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  • Reply
    Shelley B
    December 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    Eff that lady! Her behavior is appalling! Like all the other commenters, I’d talk to management and not cancel.

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    Jennifer
    December 12, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    I would report that person/incident to management. THAT’S the person who should be excluded. Plus, someone took your photo without your permission…isn’t that illegal? Don’t let that person push you around and/or make you feel bad for one second. Report them…you were harrassed!

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  • Reply
    TooBIG
    December 12, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Kenlie, If you love me you’ll watch this. Please take the time and watch it. I’ve recently adapted to this thinking and it has done wonders. I hope that after watching you’ll decide not to leave your gym. We have to stop letting others win

    http://youtu.be/ErogfvzueF8

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    • Reply
      Jen Fitz
      January 5, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      Yes, we have got to stop this harassment. Enough is enough.

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  • Reply
    Karen Walcott
    December 12, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    What you suffered is harassment pure and simple. You need to make the gym staff aware of this incident and that you are considering canceling your membership because of it. You have a right to enjoy your expensive gym membership in peace. That gym should at least inform that other member that their behavior was unacceptable, hopefully they would be embaraassed enough by that behavior to cancel THEIR membership. You should also let the gym know that you have a very popular blog with hundreds of readers. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.

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  • Reply
    Vanessa
    December 12, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    First of all I’m so sorry that woman treated you like that. Your response was a good one!
    Next, I had a gym where I got into an arguement with the gym manager. In the end I walked out and he yelled to me that I was just jealous of him. I was so hurt and I called and tried to tell upper management about it but they basically told me they weren’t there to know what happened. I cancelled my membership and have told everyone I know about it. It was Gold’s Gym in Harrisburg Pa (ok if you need to delete that I understand!)
    I have since joined a better gym, cheaper, and the people have treated me with nothing but respect.
    On a side note-the gym might cancel the woman’s membership if you can point her out to the employees. I used to work at a gym and they have the ability to do that!

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  • Reply
    Tracy @ My Tiny Tank.net
    December 12, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Please don’t cancel your membership.
    I’d report the offender. Cause that is what she is.
    You are a far superior heart then she.
    Mean people do things to make themselves feel better.
    She has some series work to do on herself.
    Don’t let her hamper your efforts to better yourself.
    May be embarrassing but you’ll feel good about sticking
    Up for yourself.

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  • Reply
    Joe
    December 12, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    I hope you have second thoughts and not cancel your membership but I can understand where your coming from. You should feel comfortable at whatever gym you go to. I love the gym I go to now but I have been a member at others where I was totally intimidated.

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  • Reply
    Ms J
    December 12, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Head UP Kenlie, no one can take you down in pursuit of a compelling personal goal–let the bad feelings go, like a feather in the wind. Do not stop going, do not stop challenging yourself, do not stop thinking you have a right to work out just like anyone else, (and in my mind) do not cancel your membership-or make a big of it deal of all…..Whatever! Just go inward with determination and courage and strength, mindful always of what you want to accomplish. Be blind to negativity–Push on, be strong–Never forget that you are worth it!

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  • Reply
    tam
    December 12, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    Don’t give up your power. If you cancel the membership you let the bully win. Do tell management and let them know, that will give you a better idea of the support the gym will give their members. Then decide.
    You are amazing and I love your blog. Thank you for sharing your self with us.

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  • Reply
    Linda J
    December 13, 2012 at 2:09 am

    Kenlie – you’ve got to stay there!

    For the simple reason that another gym might have the stickybeak’s sister as a member!

    Thankfully people like her aren’t that common; but they do exist and it infuriates me that she can run you out of your gym.

    Stand your ground beautiful.

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  • Reply
    Chubby McGee
    December 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    Planet Fitness is cheap and they don’t tolerate that shit there. Try ’em out!

    Your post is the reason I don’t go to the gym myself. I just do all my workouts around my neighborhood and in the comfort of my own home. I can’t spend the whole time I’m working out worrying about who is staring or snapping pics of me. I like the home atmosphere better and I feel safer and more comfy when I’m jiggling.

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  • Reply
    Abigail
    December 14, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    Hey, I have posted a few times but we have never exchanged. We are around the same weight and this is why I don’t get in the pool with my kids. I’m a chicken and I’m aware and okay with that, I’ve lost about 25 lbs since June so I’m working on it. Honestly if it were me, I would cancel my membership. Not because I want her to win, but because if I was spending all that money, and in a “groove” with working out, I wouldn’t dare put my health in jeopardy by being around such a person. I would end up feeling fear every time I went to work out, which would stall my progress, and eventually make me stop exercising all together. Obviously we’re different people, and I’m not suggesting you do that, but if you are at all inclined to feel as I do, I would consider it. Sure it isn’t the right thing to do necessarily, but sometimes you just have to take care of you, ya know? Good Luck!

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  • Reply
    Kate
    December 15, 2012 at 4:14 am

    Honestly, that’s disgusting! And that woman should be ashamed of herself. Really she isn’t a woman. She is a mean girl! Some people truly never leave high school.

    I half agree with not going back. But that’s the fear (and fat girl who always runs away) in me screaming. Ultimately, I think you should stay! Because this can only derail you. Which really only hurts you. And it’s letting her win.

    People will ALWAYS have comments. Which is sad. Like my Mom taught me, if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all! Some people missed that lesson it seems.

    Go back to the gym and talk to a Manager. Obviously some time will have passed since the altercation. But finding out their policy for (what really is) harassment is a good idea.

    You should point her out or take her picture next time you see her. If she can do it, there’s nothing that says you can’t. Only you’re not being rude!

    In the end, the choice is yours. But standing up for yourself will only bolster your confidence.

    Just because you’re not someone’s jaded image of what a person should look like doesn’t give them the right to discount you as a person and all the feats you’ve accomplished!

    Kate

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  • Reply
    Ais
    December 16, 2012 at 11:35 am

    When you go in and cancel you should tell them what happened; including the cellphone (which are prohibited at all the gyms I’ve ever gone to, probably for that reason) and a description of the woman. Even if you decide not to cancel, and I really hope that if this gym works for you that you choose not to do so, they need to be made aware that one of their patrons is basically bullying others. It’s going to hurt their business and she needs to knock it off.

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  • Reply
    Lindsey
    December 16, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    I would definitely tell them what happened. And depending on how much you would like to continue going to this gym, I would ask them to deny that woman’s membership or at the very least give her a warning. It’s probably important to them to have a gym free from bullying.

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  • Reply
    Alyssa
    December 18, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    UGH. What is WRONG with people? How dare she. How freakin’ dare she!!!!!!! You are at a gym, not at a buffet. Even if you were at a buffet, people have no right to freely comment on someone else’s business. I might have first splashed her with a huge wave of water, gotten out of the pool and then pushed her in. So sorry you had to deal with this. It sucks you have to leave your gym but I can’t blame you for not wanting to go back. I’d find somewhere new.

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  • Reply
    Jen Fitz
    January 5, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    I have never understood someone purposely hurting another human who is trying. I’m big and have been ridiculed my whole life. When I was a teen, I puked and starved myself to bones and then was ridiculed for trying to have the girl’s boyfriends look at me. You cannot win, that is what I have discovered. Please don’t leave that gym because you will be letting that bitch win. Never let the bitches win, never. If you see that girl again, accidentally do the backstroke into her face and apologize because you were trying to be faster.

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  • Reply
    Jen Fitz
    January 8, 2013 at 12:30 am

    This sounds so awesome! – Overweight-only gym fosters supportive atmosphere http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/overweight-only-gym-fosters-supportive-atmosphere/article_163cabea-284b-55d8-af0c-a50d74e8a104.html?oCampaign=email

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