Feeling Frumpy Lately

I’ve always been a firm believer in that we should do our best with what we have.  Even when I weighed 400 pounds I wore dresses often, got manicures and pedicures regularly, took time to blow dry and style my hair and to apply makeup.  I accessorized at my heaviest weight as well.  I am a feminine lady, but lately I’ve been feeling frumpy and plain.

I still dress well some days, but far too often, I find myself wearing yoga pants and a hoodie all day.  When did I decide that was a good idea to go to class, followed by trivia night, looking like I should be at home on my sofa?

sweats

I suppose it happened when I put on some weight after the hurricane.  I’ve noticed a decline in the way I dress and feel because I’m a more bloated version of myself than I want to be.  Yes, I was still overweight before that, but the twenty or so pounds I’ve added has made an incredible difference in the way I see myself.

Look, I’m trying to get it under control.  My workouts have been solid, but my eating (actually, drinking) was horrible over the weekend.  I’ve decided that even though I’m having a Mardi Gras party this weekend that I’m going to skip the drinks.  I’ll do some shopping at the end of the week and load up on Pellegrino.  I’d rather be happy when I look in the mirror than feel the buzz of a few drinks.

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For me, part of feeling good is feeling well-groomed.  Throwing on a dress, or jeans with a fitted jacket makes me happier all day.  People react to me differently, perhaps because I stand a little straighter and smile a little bigger when I feel like I’ve made an effort with my appearance.

 

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Another thing I’m doing to do to turn this around is spending time on my nails.  They’re always well-manicured, but I haven’t painted them as regularly over the last few months.  Mom gave me an early Valentine’s gift that included several bottles of OPI so I painted them last night.  It’s amazing with a couple of coats of polish can do.

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I’m also making an effort to workout before noon so I don’t fall into wearing sweats all day.  I don’t go into an office, and class is casual.  Making an effort anyway makes me feel good so I’m going to continue trying to pull myself out of the rut I’ve been in.

Most of my clothes don’t fit as well as they did, and I refuse to buy bigger sizes.  I just have to work harder to move in the right direction.  I’m happier that way.  I am not going to allow myself to turn into someone frumpy.  I just won’t do it.  It’s time for this phase to be over because I want to feel my best everyday.

Do you feel better when you feel as thought you look “put together?”  Do you have tips to share to improve your self-image while trying to change your appearance?

 

 

 

 

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36 Comments

  • Reply
    sanumaria
    February 6, 2013 at 3:24 am

    I spend most of my time in track suits, hoodies and jeans leggings. Putting on a pair of actual jeans counts as dressing up. I get these girly periods, when I want to wear heels and skirts, but I always find myself back on comfortable 🙂 I brush my hair maybe twice a week (I just wear my hair in a bun so it doesn’t really matter). But I ALWAYS use mascara and little foundation. I don’t know, maybe I should care more about my appearance, but I just don’t. I blame the weather too, heels and skirts just are not doable in Finnish winter 🙂

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  • Reply
    Shell Baker
    February 6, 2013 at 5:08 am

    I don’t do make up, I never have. I do know that I feel better when I am dressed nicely though. That is something I have struggled with a lot lately because over the last year I have put back on the weight I lost. I am down to 2 basic outfits that fit because when I lost weight I got rid of all my too big clothes. I am tempted to just go and buy more that fit but it won’t help me feel good about myself and I have stacks of nice clothes that will fit again as long as I put the effort in.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 6, 2013 at 9:03 pm

      Is there a reason for no makeup, or is it just not your thing?

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      • Reply
        Shell Baker
        February 8, 2013 at 6:10 pm

        It’s just not my thing. My Mum and most of the females I grew up around didn’t wear make up. When I started work I was working from 7am to 6pm and the last thing I felt like doing at 6am was putting make up on. I sometimes wear it when my husband and I are going out for the night but that is the only time.

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  • Reply
    Chris
    February 6, 2013 at 6:13 am

    Every picture I see of you almost your smile is amazing!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 7, 2013 at 4:36 am

      Aw..thank you, Chris. =)

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  • Reply
    Chris
    February 6, 2013 at 6:14 am

    (your fingers are not smiling)

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  • Reply
    shannon
    February 6, 2013 at 7:00 am

    If there is an easy answer out there for self-image, I still haven’t found it. Self-image is a topic I have been trying to do more research on. I know how I feel when I look in the mirror. There are some days when I’m happy, and some days when I’m not…some days go back and forth. I still see the girl I used to be, that girl that was told at an audition “come back when your face ages and matches your size.” I have shed almost all those extra pounds but I have never lost that comment. It’s a hard thing to do. And now I worry that I will pass my issues down to my daughters.

    I do agree though that there are some go to things that always make you feel better. For me its lipstick. If I have my lipstick on, I can conquer the world. 🙂

    Kenlie you always have such cute outfits on in your pics and with that smile, you should never feel less then impressive, even in yoga pants and a hoodie. I wish I could go everywhere in yoga pants and a hoodie 🙂

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 6, 2013 at 9:03 pm

      Thanks, Shannon. 🙂

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  • Reply
    Renae @ MissFit Mixed Chick
    February 6, 2013 at 8:58 am

    What I’m wearing does help me to either feel better or worse about myself. When I’m dressed pretty I feel prettier. When I dress not so cute, I don’t feel too cute.

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  • Reply
    Bailey @ Onederland or bust!
    February 6, 2013 at 9:06 am

    I completely agree! I’m lucky that I have an office job that has a dress code so I’m forced to dress up a bit more on a daily basis. Even still, I find the days that I put forth a little extra effort (nice heels, accessories, or a dress) I feel so much better and the compliments sure help too 🙂 I find on the weekends if I’m not going out I tend to wear yoga pants and a hoodie, which I need to stop doing. Even if the only person that sees me is my boyfriend, I still feel so much better about myself when I dress it up a bit.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 6, 2013 at 9:05 pm

      It does feel good to look pretty, but I think yoga pants are okay *sometimes.* 🙂

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  • Reply
    *tara
    February 6, 2013 at 9:16 am

    I absolutely subscribe to what you’re talking about. Dressing well, putting a little time into makeup, manicures, accessories, or whatever makes you feel good has a huge effect not only on how people look at you but how you feel about yourself. That’s really what it’s all about. It’s natural for people to show more respect to someone who treats themself with respect, ya know? You look absolutely FABULOUS in those dresses. I love them!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 6, 2013 at 9:06 pm

      Dresses automatically make us look more “put together” and trendy. I’m a big fan of dresses. 🙂

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  • Reply
    Joan
    February 6, 2013 at 10:10 am

    I have an office job too, but it is casual dress. I know what your talking about. When I buy something that makes me look nice, I smile more and I like that feeling. And the compliments when someone at work says” Oh a new shirt Ms. Joan.”

    I am feeling full all the time; since a couple of weeks ago I have been eating late at night again. And that is not good. I feel uncomforable, and the weight is coming back- what little I had lost. I know that exercise is important, but at 60 I just don’t feel like it. I feel better when I do. It’s a catch 22 as they say. I hate exercise and that is a fact. But I know in my heart that I should. And it is good for me and I feel better if I exercise in the morning, It makes me not want to cheat during the day! Know what I mean? Anyway, all excuses aside, I just need to get to work and exercise. Will I do it? I don’t know yet, but we will see. I like competition to lose weight. It makes if easier for me since I hate to lose at anything. Have a great day to all! Starting tomorrow, next week or next year…….LOL NO NO NO lets start today and on my next break and take a walk. MOM

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  • Reply
    Jessica
    February 6, 2013 at 10:26 am

    Love that first dress! So pretty.
    I am horrible about dressing. I tend to wear the same few outfits all the time, and I just don’t have extra money to buy things. But I am trying to learn to pamper myself. Every 4 weeks of 6 days of exercise I am treating myself to a massage or pedicure. Only 2 more weeks until my next one 🙂

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  • Reply
    Jillian
    February 6, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    Man, self image is a bitch. I am not really a girl who knows how to “look pretty”. I was fat growing up, and I’m still fat now…but all those years being too big for my age as a kid were the hardest on me. I couldn’t wear the cute things that everyone else wore, the sexy prom dresses and the nice tops. I distinctly remember that everything looked like either something my grandma would wear or like an oversized version of something a skinny girl would wear, with crazy ass seams everywhere–I still have a hard time finding clothes that fit that don’t look like someone just stitched two skinny girl shirts together, Frankenstein style. So yeah, I get it.

    What I will tell you, that I hope you take as encouragement, is that I -always- feel better about myself when I’m working out and eating well. It is really hard to look in the mirror and tear myself apart when I know that everything on my life is on track. Does it happen? Sure. But not as often, not as prolonged, and not as brutal.

    I spent the last year (ouch, that hurts to say) gaining and losing the same twenty pounds. I know how you feel. I know what it’s like to look at the scale and go “Woo! I lost four pounds, but DAMN IT, if I’d have stayed on track six months ago, I’d look like “. Maybe I would. I’d be a hell of a lot closer than I am right now. But you can’t undo the last few months. You DO have control over the present, and even the future.

    So take that power and run with it. Work on being a healthier you, and when you are nourishing and fortifying and strengthening your body, that will be much easier to manifest in your appearance.

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  • Reply
    Grace @ Grace Dishes
    February 6, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    I definitely go through a phase where I stay in sweats all day. Post-travel, I always unwind by taking a few “bummy days” since during the trip, I was so fastidious about being put together.

    I love your nail polish color. It’s gorgeous. I think it’s important to make it a point to look put-together. I feel like if the outside is resonating confidence, the inside will follow suit 🙂

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  • Reply
    Kris
    February 6, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    I’d sure love to know where you get your dresses! You always look so cute and put together!!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 7, 2013 at 4:37 am

      Aw, thanks….:)

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  • Reply
    Roz@weightingfor50
    February 6, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    Couldn’t agree more. I work in an office and many of my colleagues are casual, but I always feel more pulled together in a skirt or dress. Some days, it’d be easy to pull on the cords and a sweater, but I feel better when I look more professional. You look beautiful in those shots. I’ve just started wearing reading glasses, your frames are lovely! Have a good day!

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  • Reply
    MamaBearJune
    February 6, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    Yep, well-fitting clothes, makeup and fixed hair always make me feel much better. I always like a little bling on my nails, too. 🙂 You are beautiful! Love the turquoise dress, it suits you!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 7, 2013 at 4:38 am

      Thank you, 🙂

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  • Reply
    Morgan
    February 6, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    Being a stay at home mom all but two days of the week, I find myself falling into the mindframe of “well, I’m just doing house work and things today and not going anywhere, so why waste my good clothes/makeup/time getting ready?” But I find that this leads to me not feeling great about myself when I catch a glimpse in the mirror as the day goes on. It is a hard thing for me though – I don’t want to get my decent clothes dirty when cleaning, and I feel like I don’t have that many decent clothes to begin with so keeping them clean seems like a good idea…I don’t know. I struggle with it.

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  • Reply
    Jane
    February 6, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    Good reminder. When I was dating last year, I kept up my nails and wore dresses and got rid of clothes as they became too loose. Now I have gained 10 pounds, and wear the few frumpy clothes that are still comfortable. Time to knuckle down.

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  • Reply
    Ima Bovine
    February 6, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    Because I work from home and only see my calves during the day usually, I tend to dress terribly. I often wonder if the Bull thinks I sold him a bill of goods. When we met decades ago, not only was a size 8, I dressed stylishly and brushed my hair daily. Now, my size is double that, I rarily brush my hair and honestly it’s a good day if I’ve showered. Kenlie, I think you are so right. I feel much better about myself when I dress better, put on a little makeup and brush my hair. The world tends to treat me better too. I think it’s that when i’m dressed nicely I put out a vibe – I’m worth it – I took the time to care for myself. This is a great reminder….time for me to dig through the bathroom drawers and find some mascara.

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  • Reply
    Vicki
    February 7, 2013 at 1:54 am

    I bought what I consider to be cute workout clothes from Old Navy a couple weeks ago so that I never feel frumpy. I also feel better when I put on a dress. I counted how many dresses I have and the total is 44.

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  • Reply
    Zan
    February 7, 2013 at 4:27 am

    I find how I dress affects how I think, which affects how I eat and how I take care of my apartment and myself. If one goes the others start to shake. I tend to be either well put together in a clean apartment eating fine, or a mess in every way.

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  • Reply
    Kristen
    February 7, 2013 at 8:03 am

    I definitely feel better when I put some effort into my looks. I remember being in high school and on the days that I had high stakes testing like SOLs, ACTs, and SATs, my mom always encouraged me to do my makeup and hair. I always thought it was weird but now I totally realize that my whole demeanor is different when I’m putting effort into my looks.

    Those dresses are gorgeous! I really love the second one. I think you look great…your smile is always so genuine and glowing!

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  • Reply
    Tina
    February 7, 2013 at 11:54 am

    I work in an office, we have a casual dress code. I read this and then looked down at what I was wearing and actually laughed. Yoga pants, t-shirt, and hoodie. Not a stitch of makeup, and my hair is a mess. By the feel of my skin I didn’t even put on moisturizer this morning.

    Guess that’s what I get for accidentally sleeping in. On the bright side, I won’t have to change before I go to the gym.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      February 8, 2013 at 4:14 am

      If there was a ‘like’ button here, I’d click it. 🙂

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  • Reply
    Amber Barnes
    February 7, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    I absolutely feel better when I take the time look/dress better. I have found lately that I am also dressing more frumpy (wearing my yoga pants and t-shirts or hoodies and sports bras). I think it is because I am spending more time at and thinking about the gym. I feel comfortable and closer to my fitness self when I am dressed in a way that reflects my fitness committments. I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing. Maybe that is why you are dressing down more too? I do try and get dolled up for work or date nights with my hubby.

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  • Reply
    Bella
    February 7, 2013 at 3:54 pm

    I always feel better when I take time to put an outfit together, so I can totally relate to what you’re saying. I love that first dress in the photos – so cute! Have a great time at all the Mardi Gras parties that I’m sure you’ll be attending this weekend. (You’re right – feeling good about how you look (and feel) is better than the buzz from any drinks).

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  • Reply
    Kayla
    February 8, 2013 at 7:39 am

    A few years ago, after a breakup, I started realizing that I was wearing comfy clothes every day, all day. After years of working retail in a well-known clothier, I decided to force myself out of this rut. One morning, I simply decided to start dressing well. Not fancy, but simply a cute top and jeans. I made myself do this every single day for a week, then a month, until it just became habit. Before I knew it, I was not only writing a fashion blog, but I was so much happier, and eventually found myself in a happy relationship, too. It makes me so much happier to be happy about my appearance.

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  • Reply
    Alyssa
    February 8, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    I’m so glad you’re going back to your mani pics.. I know it’s shallow of me but I love my my nail polish and you were my fav virtual hand model, haha!!!! <3

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  • Reply
    Cassie
    February 10, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    I am such a fan of leggings & dresses. They are just as comfortable as yoga pants- but much more dressy for these cool months.

    I think playing up your favorite features when you’re trying to make appearance changes is key (“even though I hate my stomach, my eyes are going to look fabulous” sort of mantra). My latest favorite thing to do is wear fake eyelashes. I don’t everyday (since i don’t want to feel like I look weird when I don’t wear them) but once and a while, especially when I’m having ‘i don’t feel good about myself’ days- fake eyelashes do the trick.

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