Exercise Reflection Weigh-In weight loss Weight Watchers

Let’s Talk About How Much I Weigh Today…

The last few weeks have been more stressful than usual, but I’ve managed to make (mostly) healthy choices in spite of that.   Last month, after stepping on the scale, I had to face the realization that my weight was moving in the wrong direction, and I finally starting taking steps to change it. I haven’t been specific about numbers in recent months because I’m already exhausted by the hateful comments that often find their way into my spam folder, but I’m ready to talk about them now.

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In my attempt to find a new Weight Watchers meeting – one in which I feel like I can understand and connect with the leader and members, I learned that I am about 30 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest recorded weight.  That sucks, but I’d rather start over after gaining 30 pounds than 130 pounds.  Believe me, it would be easy to regain everything I lost, and I simply will. not. let. it. happen.

It has been almost one month since I decided to work toward 90 Days of Change.  I’ve dropped several pounds, and it feels good to know that I’m headed in the right direction.  Over the last month I have worked out with a personal trainer, tried Jazzercise with my friend Karyn, focused on eating foods that are high in protein, controlled my portions, limited processed carbs and pushed myself harder and more consistently at the gym.

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I’ve also eliminated alcohol with exception of two vodka tonics that I had when I was out on Bourbon St. with Michelle (aka The Running Jewess) and friends during her recent visit to the Crescent City.  Do you know how hard it is to refrain from drinking when you’re participating in the debauchery that is the French Quarter?  I even chose salad at 2 am over fried food when the universe (and Michelle) convinced me to do so.  (Hold on a sec, while I pause to pat myself on the back. 😉 Ha!)

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I have noticed that I have more energy throughout the day, and I’m sleeping more soundly at night.  I rarely have trouble sleeping, but my bed feels positively amazing after a day of healthy eating, hydration and an intense workout.

Passing on burgers and fries or onion rings is hard, but making healthy choices throughout the day adds up to positive results that remind my why I started this journey in the first place.

When I started this blog, I did it to keep myself accountable, and that was the *only* reason. I didn’t care who saw it (even though, in reality, I knew that very few people saw it.)  Let’s be honest, my size doesn’t affect anyone here except me (and those who love me and want me to live for a long time.)  When I began publicly posting my weight and workouts, I did that for myself too.

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So there it is in black and white…My reality in numbers.  I’d love to say that I’m not embarrassed to post this, but I am.  It’s hard to admit that I had gone so far, only to realize that I didn’t have it all figured out, but I’ve never cared about being a know-it-all (well, in this forum.)  I care about my choices, and for me, publicly posting my weight is the right one.  In addition to this post, I plan to update my weight-loss log regularly, in an attempt to push myself in the right direction.  I probably won’t say much about it in my posts because it’s really just for me.

I want to lose weight more than I want to eat cupcakes.  I want to be fit more than I want to drink French martinis.  I want to live a long, healthy and fulfilled life more than I want to eat Chinese take-out or fried chicken.  I want to succeed, and I hope that my desires will drive me to break the barriers that I’ve created for myself.

If you’re reading this, it’s time to show you something new, and even more importantly, it’s time to prove to myself that I can finish what I started.

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32 Comments

  • Reply
    Jon
    March 19, 2013 at 6:15 am

    Good for you! Every journey starts with a single step, but we often forget that every journey has stop overs here there and everywhere. Such is life. We just have to restart that leg of the journey with another single step. For me its a reward thing. I set a goal of say 12lbs and if I make it I get one guilty pleasure. Then I set another goal. It provides the incentive and helps control those cravings for the things I miss because I am working towards them one or two weeks at a time. As always you are an inspiration.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 8:56 pm

      On an unrelated note, you made my day this morning. Thank you. 🙂

  • Reply
    Melinda
    March 19, 2013 at 6:29 am

    Glad you realized that you were headed the wrong direction and made a U turn! I think all of us on this journey live with fear that we’ll slip back into the old lifestyle and gain it all back. You are doing this for all the right reasons and you having the guts to throw those numbers out here helps inspire us following your blog to make the same right choices! Keep up the good work!

  • Reply
    Mary
    March 19, 2013 at 9:14 am

    Oh good for you! I too “fell off the wagon” from Weight Watchers and was also very glad that I caught myself before I gained it all back as well, so thankful I rejoined and re-committed to the program. And like you, I believe the right meeting makes all the difference. Even in our meetings, the leaders will say to keep looking till you find the right one. I read in a blog, wish I could remember which one, ‘Persistence over Perfection’. Persistence is definitely the key! Good luck to you!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 8:59 pm

      Yeah…I think I might like this meeting more,and it’s so close to my place that it will be easy to go regardless.

  • Reply
    Joe
    March 19, 2013 at 9:50 am

    You realized you were heading in the wrong direction and you put on the breaks and are now headed in the right direction again. Lots of people fall all the way back and never do anything until they are back at square one. Congrats on recognizing and doing something positive about it!

  • Reply
    Lisa
    March 19, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Hope you find a good WW meeting – I’m still looking for a happy time for me!

    Good for you for being so transparent! You’re just awesome! And you’ll have that renegade 30 lbs gone in no time!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 9:00 pm

      I really really really want to see those 30 pounds disappear again!

  • Reply
    Bailey @ Onederland or Bust!
    March 19, 2013 at 10:24 am

    You can certainly do it and it’s great that you recognized it before it got too late. A few years ago I got down to my lowest weight of 214 and became comfortable and ended up gaining a good chunk of it back without even realizing. The past year I’ve been working on getting back to that point (and then some!) and I’m slowly getting there and trying to be more conscious of it this time around. Good luck! 🙂

  • Reply
    Patty
    March 19, 2013 at 11:06 am

    I love that you are posting this for you. That is all that matter! 🙂

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      Thanks, Patty. I am trying to remember that I have to do what’s best for me even when it’s not the most popular post.

  • Reply
    Sarah
    March 19, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Sometimes all it takes it a “reset” button, sweetie… You can do this. 🙂 We are behind you!

    Sarah
    http://www.thinfluenced.com

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 9:02 pm

      Thank you, Sarah…xoxo

  • Reply
    Chloe
    March 19, 2013 at 11:59 am

    You can do this Kenlie. It’s all about a day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other with each steep 😀 Good Luck! Can’t wait to hear about your success soon.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 9:03 pm

      I can’t wait to start logging some in black and white. 🙂

  • Reply
    Jen@HealthyFoodandFamily
    March 19, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    You’ve got this. One day, one meal, one freaking choice at a time. You can do this, I believe in you!

  • Reply
    Seventie Girl
    March 19, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Thank you for such an honest, from-the-gut post! You have courage. That’s all we need to turn our dreams into reality.

  • Reply
    Patricia
    March 19, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    Good luck. I lost about 100 pounds. The next twenty or so have come and gone. And come back. Makes me so mad. The one thing that keeps me from quitting is I do not want to die young. I really do want to be thinner and healthier. Life is too short as it is.

  • Reply
    Jenny Scheldberg
    March 19, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    I had a WI yesterday and gained 🙁 I knew it was bound to happen and I knew I’d partied it up a little too much over the weekend. I’m struggling for that first 20 lbs to get off. I love your post! I needed this today. My husband who lost 60 lbs by running and still eating whatever he wants isn’t the best at keeping me motivated. Guys just don’t get it.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 9:04 pm

      I’m sure some guys get it, but it does seems easy for them to succeed when they buckle down…just speaking generally though..

      Just keep trying…we can succeed too!

  • Reply
    Emlg11
    March 19, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    Kenlie there are many of us that have shared your experience. Last fall I fessed up to the reality that I had regained almost 60 lbs. I am now down almost 45 of that 60. I am happy but most of all relieved that I was able to get it together. Note this was not the first attempt at “getting it together”. Just keep trying and things will come together. You have the tools, it is getting them all in the right order to make it all work. Good Luck to you.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 19, 2013 at 9:05 pm

      This sounds really promising…thank you for sharing that.

  • Reply
    Brandy
    March 19, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    I was so happy to read this. Not that I ever am in a place to judge anyone’s journey (because to describe my weight loss journey as bumpy would be an understatement), but I really admire you starting over, it takes courage and I appreciate your honesty.

    But truly, you are an amazing person, regardless of your weight. Your passion for all things and your fight for what is right, just makes you amazing!

  • Reply
    Karan
    March 19, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Wow I stumbled upon your blog when I googled the actuve link. Im glad I did, you are awesome. I really want to be where you are right now in your determination!

  • Reply
    Alyssa
    March 19, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    You’ve done it before, and you can do it again! A very wise person once said to me (WINK WINK, it was YOU) that people will read your blog whether you lose weight, gain it, or don’t even talk about it. I’m one of those people! 🙂 KUDOS for being brave and getting back on track.

  • Reply
    suzanne
    March 19, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    I know it took a lot of courage to write this post!
    I’m so sorry that you have to put up with the haters.
    I went back to ww’s today only to find my favourite leader has left 🙁 but that will not stop me.
    Don’t give up trying different meetings until you find the one that works for you!

  • Reply
    Deb
    March 20, 2013 at 3:38 am

    Everyone else already said this, but you saw what was happening, slammed on the brakes, and now you can get on track and get that scale moving in the RIGHT direction! Find the right meeting, learn new recipes that inspire you to eat better, find a workout you love. You can do this Kenlie!

  • Reply
    Boysmum2
    March 21, 2013 at 1:36 am

    As everyone has mentioned, one little step at a time, from everything you have written here today I get the feeling you have taken one little step at a time, good for you. Passing on fries in the middle of the night for a salad, well what more can we say, well done, you are taking giant steps and proving yourself, well done

  • Reply
    Courtney Tucker
    March 21, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    Wat to go, Kenlie! We’re cheering for you! I’m recommitting myself too. I refuse to let myself feel horrible for bad choices and instead I’m going to feel AMAZING because I’ve made good ones each day.

  • Reply
    Btrejo
    March 22, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    After finding out my hubby had cancer i gained
    40 pounds in 5 mo that i worked so hard for the yr
    Before. Now i need to get motivated to lose the 40
    Again. I just cant seemed to get focused I need
    A kick to get moving or the number will keep going
    Up

  • Reply
    Lisa
    March 26, 2013 at 2:56 am

    Way to go! Getting back on track is always the hardest part. Everybody goes through ups and downs on their weight loss journey, but holding yourself accountable and moving forward is what really defines success. Like your WW leader said, no excuses accepted! A little backslide does not have to be the end so long as you don’t let it!
    I think that going public with the weigh ins and realities that are the most difficult is just another way to stay the course and get the support you need. You can and WILL lose those 30 pounds you regained and more! And I promise along the way you can still enjoy some of those treats you love in moderation =). I can’t wait to watch you succeed!

  • Reply
    Daniell
    April 19, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    Did you ever continue Project Hope? I was curious about trying it but wanted to know if it was really worth buying

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