Emotions weight loss

Maybe Admitting It Will Help

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I think I need to face some fears that I have when I think about my goals in weight-loss and in other parts of my life as well.  I know that I need to believe in myself in order to succeed, but confidence is something I have struggled with for the last couple of years.

Today someone told me that I need to envision myself at my goal in order to get there.  I need to imagine it in order to believe it can happen, but right now it’s almost impossible to imagine.  I know that I want it, and I’m still going strong in my 90 days of change, making choices day to day to accomplish my goal.  I need to start believing that I can do it so I’m going to start reminding myself that I can every single day.

I’m not sure why I allow myself to spend so much time and emotion worrying that I won’t live up to the expectations that I’ve set for myself.  When I look at my life objectively, I see that I’m on my way to making a success out of myself.  I just can’t allow myself to forget that if I do the work, I’ll reach my goals.

If I eat healthy food consistently and exercise regularly, I will lose weight.  I also need to remember that losing as much as I lost in 2009/2010 was not a fluke.  There were no tricks or shortcuts.  I just made good choices most of the time, and as a result, I saw the numbers on the scale decrease.    I need to remember that if I want this to happen I’m in control, and I am trying.

Over the weekend, I faced major challenges at the annual party that I have attended with Mom over the last few years.  We both went in with a plan to make it through the day without overindulging, and we both did it.  Shortly after we arrived, we participated in personal health screenings, and my blood pressure and blood sugar were both excellent.  My BMI needs to decrease substantially, but I’m trying!

screening

Seeing those positive numbers reminded me that my healthy choices are paying off, and it was much easier to enjoy the day without overindulging in BBQ, cupcakes and a myriad of other desserts.

I feel like I’m in a decent place, but there’s still a lot of room for improvement.  My workouts have been consistently good, and I have another training session tomorrow afternoon.  I  am taking control one choice at a time, and I hope that at some point soon I’ll realize that doing that will make me successful.

Do you/did you envision yourself at your goal?  Have you ever struggled with self-confidence?  If so, how did you change it?

 

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19 Comments

  • Reply
    Karen G
    March 27, 2013 at 4:55 am

    K, I struggle here too. How do you visualize something that is an alien concept? I am hoping for some help to. I was an obese kid right now I have 1/2 the weight more to go but I am smaller than I have ever been. Thoughts on seeing the next step? Great blog!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 28, 2013 at 1:25 am

      I wonder about that too, Karen. I’m not really sure how except to try to imagine what it would be like….

      • Reply
        Sarah
        March 31, 2013 at 3:19 pm

        I’m not sure how one would do that if they’ve never been there. I think what held me ack during my plateau was that I couldn’t visualize that. I had never been thin so how was I supposed to know… What it took was a leap of faith in myself. You can do this. Like you said, just have to keep at it. I do believe that if you do, the mojo you had will return.

        • Reply
          Kenlie
          March 31, 2013 at 11:17 pm

          Thanks for always speaking up when I need to hear it, Sarah.

  • Reply
    Chubby McGee
    March 27, 2013 at 8:28 am

    Kenlie, I love ya, but I do think you need to seriously buckle down and find some serious focus. I’m not saying it’s gone, it’s there!, but I feel you’ve lost it. Trust me! I recently went through some serious doubts and a big, ol’ struggle myself…lost focus and was just “going through the motions” of getting healthy…and it sucked. 🙁

    The most important thing in your life is your health. Without it, well…you’re not alive…and that’s pretty important. I’m pretty sure that most of your readers prefer you healthy and alive. 🙂

    I recently struggled BIG TIME with the frustration of shaving off these last pounds. It was a good swift kick in the butt when someone called me on something that I wasn’t seeing at that time (for whatever reason…losing weight is a mental challenge that only those who experience it really understand). The person who pulled me back from the brink basically reminded me that if I don’t get ahold of my stuff and get this weight OFF (for good! and keep my eating healthy and my physical activity high), I’m going to die. Sure enough…that’s pretty scary.

    So…I get up each and every day now and pretend like I’m fighting for my life. That’s my focus. I’ve managed to get my BMI down to almost “normal” (I’m almost there!) and it terrifies me to think that I was once in the morbidly obese category. Getting healthy is a fight for my life. It’s pushing back against the daily temptations and indulgences and it’s getting the BMI and weight down.

    That sure as heck keeps me focused.

    Find YOUR focus. It comes from within and it’s in there. Once you get it, something inside will click for you and you’ll be so serious that healthy eats and fitness will become your number one priority (and that’s WONDERFUL! Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.) You won’t even have time to make excuses once you get that focus. Remember how important your health is. Then, KICK YOUR BUTT. Anyone can do it, Kenlie! I’ve come so far…and I’m lazy, busy, and scatterbrained. If I can do it, YOU CAN TOO.

    So…get to it! No more words. ACT.

    BIG HUGS, too…cuz I know this is tough…and I hope you don’t mind my tough love…I just want you to be healthy and happy.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 29, 2013 at 8:59 pm

      I mean, I am doing it. I’m about 50 days into doing it, but it’s not enough to eliminate all of the fears I’ve allowed to build up in my head.

      Big hugs back…I know you want for me exactly what I want for me. xoxo

  • Reply
    Robyn
    March 27, 2013 at 9:35 am

    I love this part “I also need to remember that losing as much as I lost in 2009/2010 was not a fluke. There were no tricks or shortcuts. I just made good choices most of the time, and as a result, I saw the numbers on the scale decrease. I need to remember that if I want this to happen I’m in control, and I am trying.” It really hits home for me and I need to keep repeating it to myself. 🙂

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 30, 2013 at 1:22 pm

      I need to keep repeating it to myself, and I also need to tell myself to shut up when I start allowing myself to believe otherwise (which happens far too often.)

  • Reply
    Patricia
    March 27, 2013 at 10:18 am

    Congratulations on this weekend. You stuck to your plan. Now you need to congratulate yourself. I know it was hard but well worth the effort.
    The only reason you are worried about failure is you have been there. Started on this path before and backtracked. So have I. You will have bad days. The scale will not budge. I just had a great, healthy week. Scale was up three pounds.
    Instead of giving up I will keep at it. My motivation is better health.
    Venice. One whole week in Venice. Can you imagine? I have a friend who went for her retirement. Even if I never make it I can dream!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 30, 2013 at 1:23 pm

      That’s a beautiful goal to have. I’ve been near Venice, but I’ve never been there. My old goal was Greece, but now I think I need a new reward for my efforts. I’ll have to start thinking about it. Dreaming is a good thing.

  • Reply
    Shannon
    March 27, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    I think the better question to ask me personally is “When DON’T I struggle with self-confidence??” Every.Single.Day. And that makes me so very sad. You have one life to live so living it wishing, hoping, praying is a sad way to watch time fly by. I need to remember that the faster I nail down my goals and push through, the sooner I can start enjoying myself and NOT focusing on my body or how I compare to others. The confidence will come on its own and I may not even recognize it right away since it is SO FOREIGN to me. I’m just going to do the absolute best that I can for myself.

    The second I start feeling confident, I see a picture of myself that was recently taken and I think “I feel like I’ve come so far, but LOOK HOW FAR I HAVE TO GO!” I am my own worst enemy here. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and my weightloss won’t happen overnight…but it’s happening so that makes me happy!

    But it’s not all bad… I see the same pictures and I recognize the changes and I’m SO HAPPY with them. I see pictures and it reminds me that even though I’m not where I WANT to be, I’m closer than I was 2 months ago!

    Don’t get stuck in the moment… push through. We both need to take my advice….let’s just push through this together, eh?! You’ve got all the tools you need to get where you want to be…You’ve passed on a lot of these tools to me through your blog and for that, I am forever grateful!

    I don’t comment a lot, but I read EVERY DAY! Keep it up!

    -Shannon @ FiveFriendsGettingFit a/k/a the Tulane girl that was too shy to say hi and introduce herself lastyear even after you told me NOT TO BE… I’ve since graduated so I can’t say hi at school BUT I work downtown across from the Superdome. I walk around the Superdome at lunch… if you’re off during the week sometime, you should JOIN ME!!! =D

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 30, 2013 at 1:26 pm

      I wondered what happened to you, Shannon! Congrats on graduating! 🙂 I live so close to the dome that I see it from every window in my apartment, and I’d love to walk around it with you! I’ll shoot you an e-mail if I see one here. 🙂

  • Reply
    JoAnn
    March 27, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    Hi,
    My weight loss mantra ( I do mean that I say it to myself and sometimes out loud if I am driving or alone at home at least 10 times throughout the day, everyday) …. “I make healthy food and exercises choices everyday. It’s who I am. It’s what I do”. It helps keep me grounded and confident.
    JoAnn

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 30, 2013 at 1:27 pm

      Very good plan. Positive self-talk and affirmations are a powerful tool that I need to start using again. Thank you.

  • Reply
    Heather
    March 27, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    Congratulations on reaffirming your goal again and making healthy choices! It always seems like the best stories are the ones where there are bumps and side tracks along the way. I’m sure it will make a great tale to tell once you reach your goal.

    And as a classic side track myself, I am looking at a medical school that does two years of school down in Australia and two years of training at Ochsner. Ochsner looked really cool from just looking at the website and sounds like a very well-rounded facility. I wish you good luck to getting to your goal, and keep up the good work!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 30, 2013 at 1:28 pm

      That sounds awesome. Just saying.

  • Reply
    Allie
    March 28, 2013 at 1:45 am

    It’s great to read that you have already come so far, congratulations. I wonder though what your goals might be based on. I know that most people who try to lose weight do it for the “health benefits” but it sounds to me like you are already there. If your blood sugar, lipids, and pressure are all within the healthy range then you are metabolically healthy, you’re just larger than average and metabolically healthy.
    The only number left for you to concentrate on is your BMI which, if you don’t already know, is a load of bull. BMI is one of the absolute least quantitative techniques in the world, which means that it tells you almost nothing. “Although support for its use is often based on the supposed relationship with total body fat, it turns out that BMI is not a good predictor of total body fat in individuals. Furthermore, the BMI does not take into consideration any discrepancies in terms of gender, race, age or ethnicity and it doesn’t distinguish between fat and muscle tissue (Robison, 2006).” BMI ignores that people can have different proportions of different types of tissues and that there is no perfect ration for the two. You only put in two pieces of information when calculating BMI: your height in meters and your total weight in kilograms including both muscle and fat in any proportion. So if you are a 300 5’2” male you could be anything between morbidly obese with way more fat that muscle and a body builder with almost no fat, but you will still be considered morbidly obese according to BMI.

    To add to the inaccuracy of the BMI there is that fact that the reasoning behind it is faulty. The assumption upon which the BMI charts and tables are based is that carrying “extra” adipose tissue is unhealthy and causes increased likelihood for disease and death. There is no evidence that proves this idea anywhere but at the statistical extremes. “Among the obese, little or no increase in relative risk for premature mortality is observed until one reaches BMIs in the upper 30s or higher. In other words, the vast majority of people labeled “overweight” and “obese” according to current definitions do not in fact face any meaningful increased risk for early death. (Gaesser, 2006)” It has actually been shown that the lowest mortality rates are within the “overweight” category on the BMI scale. There is evidence that suggests a correlation between the two , meaning that the often happen at the same time, but then again so do spring and babies, but spring doesn’t make babies, people make babies, spring just happens to come nine months after women get to pull out the cute summer clothes.

    I’m not saying stop what you’re doing because if it’s helping you keep your labs in the right ranges then that’s great. But there is no reason to feel like you need to kick yourself to become thinner if you’re doing well at the weight you’re at.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      March 30, 2013 at 1:31 pm

      My goals are based on several important things including long-term health, eliminating the anxiety that comes with flying and worrying that someone will say I’m too fat, being able to do what my body wants to do in the gym, feeling pretty, wearing high heels without worry and a myriad of other goals.

  • Reply
    Abigail
    March 28, 2013 at 9:33 am

    I myself have suffered from low self esteem my entire life. It led to terrible choices in my youth and it also derailed my dreams * I was a singer songwriter and performed in plays, musicals and operas as a teenager* When I finally got the courage to seek out an agent. The first words out of their mouth were lose weight and we can talk. Ever since then I have been gaining weight .. I think almost to spite this terrible woman. Not that it got me anywhere. There have been a lot of great comments already but I just wanted to put out a few points you might not be aware of:
    1: sometimes we reach points in our weight loss where we have hit a toxic layer of fat, and instead of continuing we can sometimes rebound and gain a few lbs back. This fat often contains things that are toxic to our body. such as HCFS, environmental chemicals etc. that our body uses our fat to store because we can’t process it all. If you come upon a scenario like this, Get extra sleep, eat foods that are cleansing to the liver like spirulina, chorella, kale, spinach, lemons. and make sure you’re getting your water. You’ll generally find your cravings for sweets and junk go through the roof at these times. It’s your body’s way of protecting itself from the onslaught of debris. Try uping your calories for a few days, not drastically.
    2: Make sure you’re finding what your mind does to trick you and how to solve it. although for some a swift kick is what gets them going, a slower approach might work for you. Really dig deep when your mind tries to say you’re not worth it or why you won’t succeed. try meditation when you’re off track. If you can get at the root of the thought process you can work to reverse it.

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