No More Shame, Or Why I Almost Decided Not To Go To Fitbloggin’

If you know me, you probably know that I go through phases in which I travel a lot.  You may also know that Fitbloggin’ has been one of my favorite events to attend over the years.  The first two years I attended were in Baltimore which, for me, was a no-brainer, but I gave it more thought this year for a few reasons.

First, it’s in Portland, OR which has never been on my list of places I’d like to go.  I’ve heard that it’s a beautiful city and that the hotel in which the conference will be held is equally beautiful.  (That’s good to know!)  I’m just an east coast girl so it has never been on my radar.  After doing some research and hearing some amazing stories about it, I’ve extended my trip, and I plan to spend a few days there after the conference.   (I’m obviously excited now.)

Secondly, it’s a much longer flight that requires a connection.  If you know me even a little bit, you know that I despise connecting flights.  When I lived in New York, it was easy to say that I’d fly direct, or I wouldn’t go.  That’s not as easy flying out of New Orleans, and it seemed to be impossible when I was perusing flights online.

The third reason is much bigger though.  I haven’t lost any weight since the last one.  The conference is designed for fitness-minded bloggers (many of whom will weigh less than they did last time I saw them,) and I’m going to be about 10 pounds heavier this year than I was at the last one.  Do you know how ridiculous and shameful I feel when I think about how I’ve spent the last several months moving in the wrong direction?! 

Here’s the thing about Fitbloggin’ though – it’s about growth and progress, self-acceptance and a lot of other positive things.  Maybe folks will notice that I’m a bit larger than I was at the last one, but I can’t imagine imagine missing out on giant the giant hugs, learning experiences, awesome workouts and happy reunions that are imminent because I’m not happy that my clothes fit a bit tighter right now.

Many of the people in attendance, some of whom are dear friends, know how much I’ve struggled to hang on by a thread, and some of them understand it because they’ve lived it.  Some of my best friends came as a result of Fitbloggin’ too, and they’ve never liked or disliked me based on the size of my clothes.

It may not be quite as easy to face old friends and new ones as it would be if I were at least a few sizes smaller, but it would be far more difficult to let the opportunities pass me by because I’m not happy with myself.   I’ve been trying to listen to my body lately, and it seems to be working better than I imagined that it would.  I’m also feeling good about my workouts, and I’m in a happier, much more settled place than I was during the previous years.  I’ve made tremendous amounts of progress within my mind, and my body is still strong as well.

I’m glad that I’ve decided to get over the embarrassment so I can attend Fitbloggin’ because when I go, I always feel as though I’m right where I belong, and I can’t wait to have that feeling again.

Get ready, Portland.  I’ll be there soon.

Have you ever attended Fitbloggin?  Will you be there this year?

 

 

 

You Might Also Like

24 Comments

  • Reply
    timothy
    June 11, 2013 at 5:05 am

    no I’ve never been, never even heard of it actually but mayhaps next year I can plan it! have a wonderful time can’t wait to hear all about it!

    0
  • Reply
    Amanda @ Click. The Good News
    June 11, 2013 at 7:36 am

    So glad you decided to still come- I’m super excited about exploring Portland too. I can only speak for myself, but (and maybe just b/c my memory is so bad???) I don’t look at people and remember what they looked like last year. I think the whole vibe of Fitbloggin is so welcoming and accepting, full of love and compassion that most people are just so happy and grateful to be there. See ya in a few weeks 🙂

    0
    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 11, 2013 at 3:09 pm

      I don’t look at people and care what they look like so that makes sense.

      I’m happy with where I am in life for the most part so I’ll be happy about being there too.

      0
  • Reply
    Grace @ Grace Dishes
    June 11, 2013 at 9:02 am

    I hope you have a wonderful trip! I can’t wait to read all about it 🙂

    Portland is on my list of places to visit too!

    0
  • Reply
    Lyn @ Life Lyn Style
    June 11, 2013 at 10:04 am

    I’m feeling a lot like this post. Love you Kenz! See you in Portland.

    0
    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 11, 2013 at 3:09 pm

      Love you too, Lyn. Can’t wait to see you. 🙂

      0
  • Reply
    Rachael P
    June 11, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Make sure you visit the Columbia River Gorge. One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited!!!!

    0
    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 11, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      I’ll do it if it’s not too far. I’ll have some time to explore on Sunday and Monday. Thanks for the tip. It looks beautiful!

      0
  • Reply
    Alyssa
    June 11, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    I’ll be there, baby – and guess what? I’m also heavier! Who cares – it’s part of our journey, and what fun would a journey be to read about if it was all perfection? Our struggles and flaws make us human. I’m still a reader and I’m GLAD you’ll be there! xox

    0
    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 11, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      You are at the top of the list of people that I want to see. It’s been too long!

      0
  • Reply
    Melissa (@TheDailyMel)
    June 11, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Yep, I’ll be there! I’ll also be heavier than I was when I attended FitBloggin’11. There’s nothing I can do about that now, so I’m hoping to just go and soak up as much motivation and inspiration as I can from all the wonderful friends, new and old, that I’ll see there. Hopefully that will result in weighing less for FitBloggin’14 next year. 🙂

    0
  • Reply
    Melinda
    June 11, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    I won’t be at FitBloggin’, even though I live in the Portland suburbs. It was a combo of cost, other commitments and the fact that I am not a fan of crowds. But, Portland is fun and you’ll have fun!

    0
  • Reply
    Brooke: Not on a Diet
    June 11, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    I’m going to be there! I’m so happy that you are too! Can’t wait to hug you!

    0
  • Reply
    Brandy
    June 11, 2013 at 3:19 pm

    Hi Kenlie!

    I’m so glad you didn’t let a few pounds get in the way of doing something you love! You inspire me so much! I actually live in the Portland area, so if you have any questions about our area, feel free to drop me a line. I’m happy to help in any way I can! 🙂

    0
  • Reply
    Kay
    June 11, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    Wow, lots of folks here from PDX—I’m across the river. I’m glad you’re going in spite of your trepidation. It’s so gorgeous here right now!

    I’ve never heard of fitbloggin’ but it sounds like something Portland would host! (Don’t let anyone tempt you to go to Voodoo Donuts!) Have a great time, get inspired and tell all about it later!

    http://ninemonthsofrain.blogspot.com/

    0
  • Reply
    Heather@YSP
    June 11, 2013 at 5:48 pm

    I’m bigger this year too, and struggling with it.

    I remember the beautiful things you shared in the Alot To Lose discussion last year and while I didn’t have the courage to meet you officially your words really stuck with me. You seem like such an incredible and giving person. Expect a hug this year.

    0
  • Reply
    Katie
    June 11, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Portland is an amazing city! I have lived here since 2005 and even though it was never on my list of places to visit either, I quickly fell in love. I hope you will enjoy your time here and that you will be inspired by all the bikers, runners, and walkers that are out and about all the time rain or shine. :0)

    0
  • Reply
    Erin @Living Made Healthy
    June 11, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    I’ll be there! My first time, I’m glad you are coming! I’d love to bump into you! 🙂

    0
  • Reply
    Sylvia @cowgirlwarrior
    June 11, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    I was there last year but only had the opportunity to say hi at the badge making. My mission is to make more connections & that includes you 🙂

    0
  • Reply
    Melissa
    June 12, 2013 at 7:50 am

    I’ve never heard of fitbloggin’ but then again I’m just now getting into this blogging thing. I definitely think you should go no matter what! It sounds like a great time to regroup your thoughts and get some new motivation. We all need that once in a while. I like your blog by the way 🙂

    0
  • Reply
    Kelly @ No Thanks to Cake
    June 12, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    I’ll be there, lady! Excited to see you… Especially since you are the one who introduced me to Fitbloggin! 🙂

    0
    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 12, 2013 at 11:48 pm

      I love that!!!!!!!!!! And I can’t wait to see you! =)

      0
  • Reply
    Margi Hansen
    June 14, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Portland is a beautiful city! I’m sure you’re going to enjoy yourself. You’ll be amazed at the sheer natural beauty of the place. There are really cool things to see, like the Rose Garden, the Chinese Garden, the views..it’s just a really neat city with a neat vibe. I was just there last weekend. Great shopping for big girls too. I will disagree with the comment about VooDoo Doughnuts. I must tell you, I don’t like doughnuts, I never seek them out and yet I LOVE VooDoo doughnuts. Work it into your plan-they are high in fat and sugar-but once in a lifetime is worth it. 🙂

    0
  • Reply
    Allison (Ms. Whirlwind)
    June 18, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    I’d love to go to Fitbloggin’ someday! Maybe if I ever stay consistent with blogging (haha). I’ve been to Portland only once, and I was only ten or so and I barely remember anything. As an adult, I’m extremely curious to see if the show Portlandia is accurate at all!

    0
  • Leave a Reply

    %d bloggers like this: