The Post I Didn’t Publish

I’ve been silent on my blog lately, and over the last few weeks I spent some time considering whether or not I want to continue to post here.  I’ve given it thought before, but I’ve never considered it as strongly as I have recently.

How many times can I post that I struggle with the amount of food that I want to eat versus the amount of food that I should eat?  How many times can I tell myself (and you) that I’m going to start trying again?  How many times can I stand to lose battles before I finally admit that I’ve lost the war?

A few weeks ago I wrote a post in which I declared that “All The Weigh” had come to an end, but I didn’t publish it because I don’t want it to come to an end.  I don’t want to give up on this journey even though I feel like I’m slipping as I try desperately to cling to the belief that I can do this.

I used to believe in myself.  I used to believe that I was worth more than a cupcake or a bowl of popcorn or any other object that kept me away from my goal.  I used to know that I would reach my goal.  There was a time in which I believed that the world was waiting for me to take it by storm, but over the last year or two those feelings have deteriorated.

I am so tired of feeling guilty when I eat something that I know isn’t good for me.  I’m tired of listening to people who have lost the same amount of weight as me (or less) preach about how we don’t lose weight “until  we really want to.”  I’m tired of hearing that there are people on the web devoting their blogs to hating me and judging me because I have the nerve to be fat.  I’m tired of the constant battle that exists in my mind when I debate whether or not I should hit the gym.  I’m just tired….tired of all of it.

Though many of us don’t have the audacity to admit it, many of us as bloggers are chasing the same things – love,  positive attention, support, acceptance…  We want to hear that we can do it, and that we’re liked just the way we are.  We need that.  I need that.   I’ve gotten a lot of support and encouragement here over the years, but lately I’ve been experiencing life in a different way.

I’ve spent less time engaging in social media and more time engaging with people face to face, and that has been a positive thing too.  I’m building relationships with friends that I’ve discussed here before as well as people that I haven’t mentioned yet.  And though I was raised in church, for the first time in my life I’m trying to build a relationship with God too.  I feel more at peace and more fulfilled than I’ve felt in as long as I can remember, but taking a break from my blog has reminded me that I  need to be here.

I need to share my feelings and struggles and successes because falling on my face, admitting and trying again is better than the alternative.  Thomas Edison tried and failed countless times before he got it right, but when he did, he transformed life as we knew it.  Maybe I won’t change the world, but if I continue trying to change mine maybe I’ll succeed at some point too.

As much as it sucks to feel like everyone else is succeeding while I’m stuck in this rut, being stuck here feels worse.   The wise man who created the light bulb once said, ” When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this:  you haven’t.”  

Giving up would be easier.  It would be far less humiliating than stumbling over my own failures time and again too, but it wouldn’t make anything better.  It wouldn’t change the fact that I need to be in control of myself, my body and my food choices, nor would it change the fact that I need to work extraordinarily hard if I’m going to conquer this.

I know what I need to do, but I haven’t been doing it.  I’ve said it so many times, but I’m going to keep saying it until I get it right.  If you’ve given up on me, I can’t say that I blame you, but I am not giving up on myself.   I’ll update my weigh-in log next week when I step on the scale, and I’ll log my June workouts too.

You don’t have to be here, but if you are, I’m humbled and thankful.  I’m also thankful for this new day because it is filled with opportunities to change and grow.   I’m going to finish what I started even if that means that I have to spend the rest of my life starting over.

Sometimes this journey sucks, but it’s not over yet.

 

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57 Comments

  • Reply
    sabrina
    June 4, 2013 at 2:45 am

    I so recognize this.
    I even am considering stop going to the gym
    I dont do kcal counting anymore as that leads to binging
    But drawing the line netween having enough and to much eating is a line i cant recognize yet.

    You are perfect the way you are, you dont to be fixed cause ppl say so!

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  • Reply
    Violet Corniun
    June 4, 2013 at 3:19 am

    I think the fact that you don’t give up, that you keep trying, is the reason why so many people believe you’ll make it. The journey may be harder for you than for others, but that makes success so much sweeter. The little accomplishments suddenly become huge. Sometimes it gets tiring, but the payoff is so worth it.

    Good for you for refusing to give up. That right there is more inspiring than you could possibly ever fathom. That’s why people follow you: because you’re human.

    I, for one, am excited and humbled to support you in your journey, no matter the number of stumbles along the way.

    Big Hugs,
    ~Violet~

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  • Reply
    Chris
    June 4, 2013 at 6:37 am

    I think the whole ‘we don’t lose weight until we want to’ is a fallacy. Loads of people want to lose weight. It’s what do you want more? Instant gratification or long term success. Can one delay the instant happiness of eating food in exchange for being fit? (And then being able to eat that food)

    Now Kenlie, you seem like the type of woman who goes a very long way to get what she want most of the time. So, what do you want? What is it that makes you most happy? Because really, that is what you should be after, the thing that makes you most happy.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 5, 2013 at 1:50 am

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Chris. You’re right. I need to look at what I really want and figure out how to get it.

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  • Reply
    Grace @ Grace Dishes
    June 4, 2013 at 7:08 am

    Do what you need to do. I think people who waste their time bashing other people are too scared to look at their own lives.

    You are amazing!

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  • Reply
    Heather P.
    June 4, 2013 at 7:17 am

    I’m amazed that every time I read your blog, it is as though we are living parallel lives. One thing I think is important to remember is whether you have 15 lbs. or 150 lbs. to lose, for some of us, it is a daily struggle. We have all tried, slipped and tried again. You are not alone in that battle. Reading your blog is comforting, supportive and always leaves me feeling like even if I slipped for a meal or a day, it isn’t the end of the world. You’ve made great strides and will continue to do so!! So glad you have decided to continue your blog!!

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  • Reply
    Reesie
    June 4, 2013 at 7:32 am

    You’ve got the right mindset, Kenlie. The smallest of changes is still moving forward. Don’t give up on yourself:)

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  • Reply
    Jon
    June 4, 2013 at 7:35 am

    You are an inspiration to everyone. Doesn’t matter if its positive or negative toward you, you are inspiring people in life.

    It is like the one comment NBC executives said when they hired Howard Stern (Dear god I am making a comparison to Howard Stern) and I quote “the average fan listens for one hour, most commonly cited reason they want to see what he is going to do next.” “what about the people that hate him. ” The average listener that dislikes Howard listens for two hours a day, most commonly cited reason, they want to see what he is going to do next.”

    Point being people are listening to you. If your words, struggles and efforts meant nothing why would anyone waste the time to comment. The simple fact they continue to read and follow indicates they have an interest. 9 times out of 10 the people who bash have insecurities they are trying to suppress by bashing someone else. You can never make your self rise by trampling others but others can lift you higher than you have ever imagined. Trust me I know.

    When you cant run you walk, when you cant walk you crawl, when you cant crawl you find someone to carry you. The only thing I think to suggest you change is just one thought. You carry us at times and we carry you. There are days when I have no fight in me left and I read something whimiscal or exciting in the blog and I get a smile or a laugh and it gives me a reason to carry on. So if they love you or hate you remember they are here and have a vested interest. Make that your strength when all else fails. Because I promise you you make a positive impact in at least one person every day. As ho chi Men said, you can kill 1000 of my men for every one of yours I kill but even at those odds I will still win. One good deed, one positive impact, one life changed is worth 1000 bashes.

    I promise you we are all better for your efforts and you are a brave and fearless person to hang it all out there.

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    • Reply
      peg
      June 4, 2013 at 11:23 am

      Very well said!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 5, 2013 at 1:52 am

      Jon…you never fail to make me happy, and I’m so thankful to have you in my life. When I see you again, I’ll owe you a big hug and a kiss. <3

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  • Reply
    Steelers6
    June 4, 2013 at 7:49 am

    Hey, typed a big response, & lost it. Ug. Let me try again.
    I think your supporters will be here regardless of WL; many of us can relate to your struggles.
    Your blog is uplifting, although I don’t rely on you to motivate ME. Not putting that kind of pressure on ya! I don’t think that was ever the intention of the blog either, so you post what you want, pal. Personally, I enjoy reading when you post about other things as well, such as recipes, trips, decor, dear Hannah, and of course PURSES. 🙂 It’s about life.
    Have a splendid week.
    Chrissy

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 5, 2013 at 1:52 am

      Love you, Chrissy. xoxo

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  • Reply
    Amanda @ Click. The Good News
    June 4, 2013 at 8:04 am

    Just wanted to stop by and give you some hugs. I applaud you for having this dialog, figuring out what matters to you & what makes you happy. It’s ain’t easy for anybody, but just have faith in yourself & don’t give up 😉

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  • Reply
    mary
    June 4, 2013 at 8:08 am

    thank god you are staying

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  • Reply
    Patricia
    June 4, 2013 at 10:07 am

    I will miss you if you stop blogging. There are days when I want to give up. Then I read your blog and keep going. Do what you think is best for YOU! You do inspire others to keep going when we are having a bad day. Thank You for all the support you give to others.

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  • Reply
    Lyda Ann Baker
    June 4, 2013 at 10:30 am

    I just found your blog and hadn’t read back far enough to determine where you were in your journey, but girl . . . if you’ve got haters out there, I say Rejoice! You are obviously making an impact and touching a nerve – keep it up! Don’t stop now – you’ve got them exactly where you want them! It’s only when people STOP talking about you, that you need to worry!

    So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, go buy yourself a fabulous pair of shoes or a lovely purse and get yourself back on track. You know you can do it, we know you can do it. Now – as those lovely folks at Nike say – Just Do It!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 5, 2013 at 1:54 am

      They don’t matter…it’s about a lot more than that. And I do realize that those obsessed with me wish they had what I have. I get it. No worries.

      Thanks for the encouragement.

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  • Reply
    Robby
    June 4, 2013 at 10:43 am

    “How many times can I stand to lose battles before I finally admit that I’ve lost the war?” How do you determine winning/losing? For me it’s about (1) learning something about myself (2) being able to make a better choice in the future or (3) letting go of mistakes and moving on. But more important than all of those things, I try to always ask myself “Is this making me happy?” If the war is against myself versus FOR myself, I’ve already lost.

    “I used to know that I would reach my goal.” How often do you adjust and re-evaluate your goal? What’s do you use as the compass to make sure you’re progressing towards the goal? Is it just the scale? A tape measure? Or do you try to look at the gestalt, the entirety of the journey?

    “We want to hear that we can do it, and that we’re liked just the way we are.” We also need to know that perfection isn’t expected of us. We need to be reminded that we’re human.

    “As much as it sucks to feel like everyone else is succeeding while I’m stuck in this rut, being stuck here feels worse.” This also has lots to do with your perception and the assumptions you make. You assume everyone else is succeeding. They may be struggling just as much as you are (as struggling is part of the human condition). Just try to remember that things aren’t always as they seem.

    “It wouldn’t change the fact that I need to be in control of myself, my body and my food choices, nor would it change the fact that I need to work extraordinarily hard if I’m going to conquer this.” I’m going to disagree with you on this in a subtle way: It goes back to the “am I fighting for myself or against myself” notion. When you’re fighting against yourself, it’s an uphill battle. It’s about control, shame, guilt, punishment. When you’re fighting for yourself, it’s about understanding, forgiveness, pride, and joy. I’ve known you for a while and have read your blog for a while. The times when you’re joyful about this seem to be when you have the most success — when you don’t care about the outcome because you’re loving the process.

    “I’m going to finish what I started even if that means that I have to spend the rest of my life starting over.” In a very metaphysical sense, this is what we all do. It’s kinda like 50 First Dates — each day our cells are re-generating, our neural pathways are being reinforced or changed. But please don’t think you’re starting back at square one all the time. Unlike 50 First Dates, you have your memories and the lessons you’ve learned. Life is more like Groundhog Day — where we get to fine-tune how we move through this world.

    Keep your chin up, girlie…. we’re all fighting the good fight together.

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    • Reply
      Valerie
      June 4, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      HERE HERE!!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 5, 2013 at 1:54 am

      I have so many things to say to you in response to this post, but some of it I want to say in private. For now, just thank you. You are the best.

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      • Reply
        Robby
        June 5, 2013 at 5:30 pm

        <3

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    • Reply
      Shelley B
      June 5, 2013 at 10:21 am

      I really like the whole paragraph about 50 First Dates and Groundhog Day–because while we do “start over” in a sense, we have all the things we’ve learned from prior experiences to take with us to the next “start over”–awesome analogy there!

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  • Reply
    Jane
    June 4, 2013 at 11:20 am

    I’m very glad you’re staying!

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  • Reply
    Lisa
    June 4, 2013 at 11:54 am

    I think the number of us who admire you is a lot higher than the haters out there!

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  • Reply
    Amie
    June 4, 2013 at 11:59 am

    As they say in the 12 step meetings just keep coming back….so as long as you keept trying you’re not failing.

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  • Reply
    Sylvia @cowgirlwarrior
    June 4, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    I so wish I could give you a hug.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 5, 2013 at 1:55 am

      Later this month, yes?

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  • Reply
    Cheryl
    June 4, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    I read your blog but I don’t remember if I’ve commented before today. I admire your efforts to continue your progress to a healthier you. I think the difficulties in maintaining a long term lifestyle change are common to all of us but regardless of the stage we’re at on our journey it is important to remember that we are more than this struggle. You have made big, big steps in your life and that is important. It’s not all about our weight loss journey. Keep posting, keep working on all facets of your life, and eventually you will reach your goals – all of them. Sometimes we’re doing better in making progress to some goals than others but they’re all worth the effort. Best wishes for a successful journey.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      June 5, 2013 at 1:56 am

      I have grown and changed so much, and I’m a much better person as a result. There’s just more work to be done. Thank you!

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  • Reply
    Donna
    June 4, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    I always enjoy reading your blog and hope you will continue on with it. As someone who was morbidly obese and is now a “normal” weight, I know the struggle of which you speak. I think you just have to remember to be honest with yourself and try your best. None of us is perfect (despite what people put out there) and remember these people who decide to be mean and bring people down really have their own issues they aren’t dealing with. Of course, it’s harder to do when the nasty comments are directed your way. It really is a waste of your time and energy to spend a minute of your day dwelling on those people. Live your life and it will unfold the way it was meant to. Wishing you all the best 🙂

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  • Reply
    Roz@weightingfor50
    June 4, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    I’m really glad you’ll be here. I admire and look up to you, and I’m glad I’ll still know how you are doing!! Sending a big electronic hug from Vancouver!

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  • Reply
    Lorraine
    June 4, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    Kenlie first of all thanks for this post I’m sure a lot of people can relate. Many of us who are in this journey to lose weight and such, have felt this way during their journey. I KNOW I HAVE many, many times. The thing is that you must keep on moving. Take a break when you need it but don’t give up. Keep your head held high and be confident that YOU GOT everything you need to succeed. You took the first step, now keep on going, one day a time, one foot in front of the other, sooner or later you’ll get there. When you get tired, take a break then keep on going. Take what you learned in the past and use it the best you can for your present and future, don’t dwell on it, that only makes us go crazy. Try – see how I said try? – not to compare your journey with others this only is a recipe for frustration.

    Don’t despair chica, you’ll get there. As for the haters oh well… Let them hate. Please know that the people that care about you and that are CHEERING for your success are wayyyy more…

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  • Reply
    Courtney Tucker
    June 4, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    I applaud you and I will cheer for you as long as you’re here. 🙂

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  • Reply
    EllaJo
    June 4, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    You are amazing! And you deserve to pick yourself up and try some more!
    I too have felt like I have failed. But I’m doing something different this go around that I KNOW will work. It’s extreme, but I feel I need this. Just like I am doing what is best for me and my situation, I’m sure that you will do the same for yourself and your situation.

    https://ellajo25.wordpress.com/

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  • Reply
    Jennifer
    June 4, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    I really enjoy reading your blog so I hope you keep it up. I love that your blog is 100% honest. As someone who has struggled a lot with weight, I appreciate your blog and your struggles as it is all real! Losing weight is the hardest thing to accomplish and you have done so great so far. You are an inspiration to me and many others and your positive upbeat attitude despite the struggles gives me the motivation to keep on with my own journey despite setbacks.

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  • Reply
    Elaine Britton
    June 4, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    Kenlie , do not give up ….just take 1 day at a time ….if you don’t have a good day …… try again tomorrow…… and so on ….we all have days where we eat what we know we shouldn’t ….but then we get up the next day in a different mind set and get motivated and move on……. keep moving forward…..do not give yourself time frames …just go day by day and try and make good choices….that’s all we can do …… take care of yourself …and don’t beat yourself up or let the haters into your mind……they are not worth your time ….

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  • Reply
    SARA
    June 4, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    while i can’t say that i know exactly what you’re going thru, i can say that i understand your struggle with food and how much you want to eat vs how much you should eat. i have this very same struggle everyday. i also understand how it can make you feel to keep starting over and over and over again in such a public forum as this. i want you to know that i believe in you and i read all your posts. i believe you can do it and i’m not going to feed you any sactimonious bull about how you’ll lose weight when you’re ready to and not until then. you’re ready to and we all know that. just know that no matter what the haters say, there are people out here that love you and respect you for ALL your efforts.

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  • Reply
    Jill
    June 4, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Hi Kenlie, you don’t know me but I have followed your blog for quite awhile. You are, quite simply, an amazing person and I love that you wrote this post. I know you will reach a weight you are happy with some day, and the reason I know this is because you have not given up yet. It is clear that you know in your heart that you will figure this out – you just haven’t quite gotten there yet. Nothing worth having happens overnight. You believe in yourself and that is an amazing gift!

    I recently went through training to become a weight loss coach and one of the techniques I use with my clients (and myself!) to help generate positive thoughts is to figure out what the crappy thought is that is generating crappy feelings and results, and then make a list of evidence of how that thought is not true. Sounds simple (and it is) but it is also very effective.

    I believe in you Kenlie!

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  • Reply
    Vickie
    June 4, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    I sooooo needed to see this today. Thank you.
    (((HUG)))

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  • Reply
    Heidi R
    June 4, 2013 at 6:37 pm

    I love your blog and love that you decided to continue with it. Weight loss is so difficult. It is mind consuming and can weigh on us terribly. I am in the same boat as you. It is a struggle. I just tell myself that slow and steady will win the race. You are doing great! Let’s not be so hard on ourselves! 🙂

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  • Reply
    Sue
    June 4, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    I have followed your blog since I had WLS in January 2011 at 44 years old. It was a struggle that I had for years. Diet, lose, gain, diet again, lose and gain again. It’s not that I didn’t want it. I wanted it more than anything. I couldn’t do it on my own. It was easier to eat pizza than it was to diet and still gain. WLS was the best choice I ever made for myself. Is it the answer for everyone? Absolutely not! Is it cheating? Absolutely not. When doing my research for WLS I read something somewhere where the author said “if I had a tumor that was going to kill me, I would have surgery to remove it.” Duh. That’s how I felt about WLS. It’s not the cure all. It’s still really hard and it’s still about choices. Was it the best thing I could have done for myself? Absolutely. You have to make the decision that’s best for you. You share your struggles on a regular basis. Many of us who read your blog read it and say “yup, I’ve been there.” You deserve kudos for sharing your struggles and providing support to those of us who live the struggle daily and feel alone. Thank you for what you do and I hope you make the decision to keep on. Best wishes!

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  • Reply
    Anna
    June 4, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    I am not sure how you feel about this, but I have followed your blog and I know your struggle only too well. I know the feeling of failure, I had been down that road so many times. I had Vertical Gastric Sleeve surgery, and for the first time I could be successful. It is still a struggle, but it is manageable. You have some help… if you think this is the worst idea ever, feel free to ignore me, but I just want to tell you to have hope, you still have options.

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  • Reply
    Anne McElvain
    June 4, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    Hi! I just wanted to share a radical thing I tried when I was just about to give up on everything. I had lost 120 lbs on Optifast, but with 70 lbs. to go I had had enough. When I started eating again, I found my weight started creeping back up quickly: 10, 20, 30, 40 lbs. In a panic, I did a cleanse with a nutritionist that involved using a protein/vitamin/mineral shake 2x/day and 3 small meals of mostly fresh veggies and lean proteins. I eliminated wheat and all other grains, sugar, eggs, dairy, peanuts and anything else that could be causing allergic reactions like inflammation. After about 2 weeks of that, I noticed something very interesting: my cravings for sweets and breads went completely away, and I felt clear-headed and energetic. When I tried reintroducing wheat or sugar, I swelled right back up and the cravings started, and it hurt to exercise due to the swelling. So I decided to quit them because my body reacted so negatively to them. But how? I read further about sugar addiction and the wheat belly book, and that has reinforced my desire to live without those substances. Now I’m treating it like any addiction: I can’t have “just one” because I almost immediately start to binge on a substance that was ruining my life. Because of that reframing wheat and sugar as the same kind of poison for me that alcohol is for an alcoholic, I feel like I have a force field around me. No means no. It took a while to shift my attitude from yearning for just a tiny bite to saying “how dare they try to poison me with that stuff!” I have no idea if this approach works with others, but I’m happily exercising and losing weight without worrying about counting calories and without the cravings, anger and guilt. Just thought I’d share my experience in case it helps.

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  • Reply
    Deborah F
    June 4, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    Kenlie,
    I just have to post a comment about your recent blog. I greatly admire you, with your courage to share your journey with us in this blog forum. I believe in you, and you have so much to offer the world. I have read your blog for over a year now, and you are so loved by everyone. So please dust yourself off, and start the journey again. You have so much to offer this world. I admire that you have so many friends. Have faith that things will be better (the way that you want) in time. I too am morbidly obese, I have social anxiety, and I am a binge eater. Reading your blog encourages me to have hope in my life’s journey.

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  • Reply
    Jenn
    June 4, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    Kenlie, I would miss your posts if you left. We are all on this journey with you no matter if we have 10lbs or 100lbs to lose; you are not alone. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and it’s hard every single day…but you keep going, it’s what we have to do. Stumbling along the journey is part of it and all we can do is get up and brush ourselves off and try again tomorrow…or at the next meal. I know you can do this…YOU know you can do this. We are ALL rooting for you 🙂 XOXO

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  • Reply
    timothy
    June 5, 2013 at 1:20 am

    girl you done crawled up in my head and wrote MY blog. I so live this and so understand. I used to get so much out of my blog then some homophobe reported me as objectionable and 98% of my foundation just eroded away, folks that had been reading and commenting for years stopped looking because they now have to hit yes I want to enter the objectionable site. my readership which was all over the world is strictly US/Canada now. I was heartbroken but you know what it has forced me to refocus and i’m better for it and so will you be! I too HATE that i’m back to 215, that I have to regroup yet again, admit I failed yet again but my mama didn’t raise no quitters and i’m stubborn as a mule so I will win this and now I can truly say I blog just for me again. the comments and love/support are wonderful but (analogy time) i’m the whole meal and the rest is just gravy, it’s flavor but that is all.
    so glad you decided to stick it out because you do make a difference to others, you’re a beacon of hope to those of us lost and wandering/wondering shine bright dear friend shine bright!

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  • Reply
    LotusMama
    June 5, 2013 at 2:50 am

    One of the things I most admire about your journey is that you never give up. Keep on keeping on, Kenlie; you will get there.

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  • Reply
    Ninette
    June 5, 2013 at 6:55 am

    Hi Kenlie
    Don’t you dare give up – you’re my insperation. I feel like just like you, daily, and reading your bolg helps put me back on track, as it is very easy for me to just give up like so many times in the past. It’s comforting to know that there is someone struggeling as musch as I am, so just remember you are not in this alone. I’m praying for us both!!

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  • Reply
    Jenn
    June 5, 2013 at 9:42 am

    So glad you are sticking around! Whether you know it or not, you are inspirational to so many people. You help me to feel not so alone.
    I wrote a bit about you last night. I hope you don’t mind.
    I just wish I could put my thoughts into better words….

    http://losingmyscrap.blogspot.com/2013/06/blank-screen.html

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  • Reply
    Tc Meagher
    June 5, 2013 at 10:20 am

    I’m so happy you are going to keep posting, I love your posts and how inspriational you are to me and so many others. There are so many of us that go through the same as you but you just put it in such great posts.
    Keep going, we are all in it together.
    TC

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  • Reply
    Shelley B
    June 5, 2013 at 10:25 am

    I keep coming back and reading because I know you’ll succeed. I would not bother to read every post if I thought you would fail. I am sure others would have similar sentiments. But it’s not about us or what WE think…only YOU determine your success or failure, and if you don’t want the journey to be over yet, it won’t be because it’s yours and only yours.

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    Heather@YSP
    June 5, 2013 at 11:30 am

    Hang in there. You’re doing great things and you have come SO far. I know that for me, I’m constantly having to reidentify my goals, methods, and priorities. I’ve had to stop focusing on weight loss at all because it was just… demeaning for me. Now I’m trying for intuitive, and it’s working much better. I’m not weighing myself, which is TERRIFYING but somehow more peaceful too.

    Don’t lose faith in YOU though. Remember that no matter how much or how little you weigh, it’s nothing to do with how awesome you are.

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    jamie
    June 6, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    I’ve followed you for a while. I’ve never left a comment before but today it seems like you really needed it. I too have been in this lifelong battle and it is depressing wondering when, IF it will ever cease. You aren’t alone. I hope that we and everyone else who is searching will find our way.

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    Will Aguero
    June 8, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    Hi Kenlie,

    I started writing a comment to this post a while the night I saw it. But it kept on getting longer and longer. I hope you read it, it’s crazy long but it helped me process. http://www.willaguero.com/2013/06/09/the-struggle/

    In a nutshell:
    1. You’re awesome. You’ve already lost a bunch of weight. Be proud of yourself.
    2. Your consistent with your blogging. Be proud of that too.
    3. We all know how you feel. We’re 100% behind you.
    4. Haters are going to ate. Whatever, your’re better than they are. See point #1
    5. You can do this. We can all do this.

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    Hope
    June 9, 2013 at 12:53 am

    I’m one of your silent readers that have been following your blog for quite a while and I just want to say just hang in there! You are a real girl, with real ups and downs and people need to read about it. Not many people tackle weight issues overnight. It takes perseverance and time! You are not alone!

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    Susan Schwartz
    October 1, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    I have been overweight most of my life, I had to figure out why most diets whether it be reputable ones or a fad diet didn’t work for me . Many times I wanted to give up but you just can’t. You owe it to yourself #1 to quit beating yourself up about how you look and
    #2 you need to figure out why your eating. When I was in my program my nurse would always remind me “that it’s not what your eating it’s what’s eating you.”

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    Susan Schwartz
    October 1, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    I was afraid to feel. So I’m a former food addict and I ate for any reason, any emotion and I justified it all everyday.

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