Putting It Out There

Last week I wrote about the positive changes that have occurred in my life over the last couple of years.  After years of feeling unsettled, I finally have a happy little routine.  My life isn’t perfect, but I am definitely moving in  the right direction in many areas.  I’m happy with myself and my day to day life.

I find myself saying “thank you” when I think about the things that finally feel right again, and I’m sincere.  I just want to look different.  I suppose I want to feel different too (even though it’s hard to imagine feeling better than I do.)  I know that my health should always be a priority, and I just want to finish what I started.

I used to exercise whether I wanted to or not, but I have lacked consistency in that lately.  In the last 30 days,  I have done Bikram yoga several times.  I have also done Zumba and various forms of cardio, but I’m not doing as much as I should be doing.  That’s easy enough to change though.  I don’t mind the workouts – particularly after I remember how great I feel when I do it, but the food part is harder for me.

It is no secret that I eat more than I should.  I don’t binge eat, but I eat a few hundred calories more than I should in order to lose weight almost everyday.  I’m not sure if one is worse than the other, but I know that I’m not giving myself a chance to get it right.

Earlier this year I realized that I let my weight (and prior weight-loss) define me as a human-being.  I often wish I could walk into a room wearing a sign that says “Yeah, I need to lose weight.  I know, but I used to be much bigger than this.”  I wish I could explain that I’m happier with my life than I’ve been in years (except for the obesity part.)

I’m not sure if this is the time in which I’ll get it right or not, but I’m going to keep trying.  I did some healthy things for myself last month, and I’m going to do more this month.  I’m not going to post any lofty goals today, but I’m going to make some small changes this month and go from there.

I took a photo of myself on my 33rd birthday (last Friday) because I love the dress I was wearing – and because I’m working to make some healthy physical changes so that I can look and feel exponentially different in my 34th birthday photo.

kenlie - weight-loss birthday - 33 - new orelans

No one can take away the things that bring me joy now because they come from inside of me.  They come from knowing that through my faults, I still have to ability to make progress.  I also find a lot of joy in the progress that I’ve made within my mind because it seems impossible to fix the outside without fixing the inside first.

I have forgiven myself for the mistakes I’ve made in the past, and I am looking forward to a future in which I will look back at this photo and say thank you again…

 

 

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17 Comments

  • Reply
    Melissa (@TheDailyMel)
    July 9, 2013 at 12:20 am

    This post makes me smile. I love hearing the positivity in your words. I especially love the part about not letting anyone steal your joy. 🙂 xoxo

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      July 9, 2013 at 8:50 pm

      Thanks for the sweet words, Mel….xoxo

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  • Reply
    2Momma2
    July 9, 2013 at 12:33 am

    I Echo the words above. It is so fantastic that you feel so content right now. I love that you recognize how important your health is, but it doesn’t have to take away from your current joy. Keep spreading the happy! We all could use some of your good vibes and we’re here for support as you make the necessary changes!

    Kristin
    Likea2-year-old.blogspot.com

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      July 10, 2013 at 3:52 am

      I’ll be here…trying to find a balance. I’m so thankful for the support while I figure out the next steps…

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  • Reply
    Laurie
    July 9, 2013 at 1:24 am

    Bravissima!

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  • Reply
    Renee
    July 9, 2013 at 8:03 am

    I love your dress, too! And I love this post. I think it’s crucial that things other than our weight define us. We’re all more than just that one thing.
    Happy birthday!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      July 10, 2013 at 3:53 am

      We are so much more…people just see that first. I’m trying to get back until the mindset that I was in when I was working on this for myself…

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  • Reply
    Kate
    July 9, 2013 at 9:14 am

    I completely agree with you. For a long time and even sometimes now I find myself wanting to tell people “I know I’m not perfect but you should see how I used to look” and then I just think – why? This isn’t for anyone else! But I think when you are overweight you are so self conscious because YOU hate how you look so you feel like others must have a dislike or some feelings towards it too.

    This is a positive thing to address 🙂

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      July 10, 2013 at 3:55 am

      People are cruel about it sometimes, but those people aren’t looking for redeeming values. They’re looking for ways to make others as miserable as they are. I’ll try to remind myself of that next time I’m bothered by someone’s words.

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  • Reply
    Gaye
    July 9, 2013 at 10:41 am

    Just wanted to say that I think you look fantastic! Well done!
    Gaye

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      July 10, 2013 at 3:56 am

      Thank you, Gaye..

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  • Reply
    Heather@YSP
    July 9, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    It’s awesome to hear you’re happy! I think we all struggle with how to deal with who we were, what we have or haven’t done, and how to incorporate those things in a positive way. You’re doing an amazing job!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      July 10, 2013 at 3:56 am

      I’m trying to figure it all out…that sy all I know to do..

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  • Reply
    Cynthia (It All Changes)
    July 9, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    I love that photo of you Kenlie. Not because of how you look physical (although you look beautiful) but because you look happy. Truly, genuinely happy.

    Forgiving the past is the key to moving forward…and remember being happy is something you can sustain. Make sure the steps you take to healthy also make you happy.

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  • Reply
    Kenlie
    July 10, 2013 at 3:57 am

    Thank you, Cynthia. I’ll try to do that as I move ahead…

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  • Reply
    Jess
    July 10, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Kenlie,
    You look great in that dress…fabulous pic! It’s refreshing to hear a positive post. You are right…we can all do better, right? I love to tell my kids…when you know better, you do better. Ignore those that are saying mean things…I get it.

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  • Reply
    Kay
    July 10, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    I love your last 4 lines….I’m gonna print those out as an anchor for myself.

    I love the color and pattern of your dress too.

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