I have spent the last 30 days focusing on things that enrich my life because going on unsatisfying dates was no longer cutting it. In lieu of dating I spent time cultivating friendships, enjoying time with my family and getting closer to GOD. I do all of those things regularly already, but taking the dating out of the equation for a little while helped eliminate distractions. My official ban is coming to a close, and it has given me the opportunity to focus on everything that I do have.
As I reflect on the last 30 days it’s easy to see how much love exists in my life, and I’m so thankful for it. My life is completely and utterly different than it was only a few years ago, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to say that and mean it! After a long, tumultuous road that was paved with heartache, repentance and healing, I’m happy…genuinely happy. I’d like to be in a relationship, and I think it’s okay to want that. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to admit it.
I wrote an open letter to my future husband almost two years ago. (You can read it here.) I still want him to possess some of the those qualities that are important to me. I also need him to have a relationship with GOD because I have never experienced the kind of peace and freedom that I have since I began getting closer to Him. Of course, I still want my significant other to keep me safe from the occasional spider, open doors and pump gas even though I am perfectly capable of doing those things.
Nothing earth shattering happened as a result of my dating ban, but I am glad I did it. It served its purpose, though I did find myself discovering possible feelings for one particular man who kind of seems like an unlikely match for me. I like him...a lot, and though I will continue swooning quietly in his presence, I’ll also continue to focus on everything that already makes my life good too.
I don’t have any hot dates planned for now, and I’m okay with that. I want something real and lasting so I’m focusing on everything that I do have. I am blessed with so much more than I could have imagined, and I don’t want another relationship in which GOD isn’t at the center. (Who am I? Wow!) I believe in my heart that there’s probably a man who will complement the life that I love, and I still can’t wait to kiss him good night.