weight loss

Getting Real (Or By the Way, I’ve Gained Over 50 Pounds…)

I had bad dreams last night, and I woke up feeling relieved and weighed down at the same time.  In my dream, I was weighing myself every few minutes, and I was back up over 400 pounds.  When I weighed in again at 393.6, I knew it was happening, and I let it happen anyway.  I felt helpless and undeserving, and then I woke up…

I was glad that I didn’t wake up weighing 400 pounds, but I also realized that I am dangerously close to weighing that again.  It is so easy to gain weight (even though I did pretty well at keeping it off for a while.)  I didn’t hit my goal and gain it all back, but it’s just as discouraging to lose an incredible amount of weight and watch it slowly creep back.  And lately, it hasn’t even been slow.   I didn’t gain weight over Thanksgiving, but I went on a food frenzy during Christmas break.

It’s incredibly embarrassing to admit it, but the truth is that I’ve gained more than 50 pounds of the weight I lost.  I feel like a failure admitting it, but I have to admit it – at least to myself.

My life has changed so much since I began this journey in 2009, and lately, I’ve been allowing all of the BS that used to fill my head back into it.

“You can’t do this.  You’re lazy.” 

“If you were going to reach your goals, you would have done it already.”  (This is the one that haunts me…)

“You have so much more to be happy about already.  What the hell else do you want?”

“Look, no one wants you, but a lot of people love you.  Accept that, and let it be enough.”

“Look at you.  You’re never going to be pretty anyway.”  

“I’ll do better tomorrow.”

It’s hard to admit that I experience these feelings, but it’s true.  I don’t walk around hating myself.  I’m in a pretty good mood most of the time.  My spirits are high, and I do a lot of things that make me feel good about myself these days.  I’ve learned that life isn’t just about me, but I also realize that I’m headed down a path of destruction without action to change it.

When I got back to New Orleans last week, I stepped on the scale for the first time in ages, and I weighed 349.4 pounds.  Roll your eyes if you want to.  Pity me if you want to.  Remind me that me weight alone doesn’t define me if you want to.  Laugh at me if you want to.  I’ve done all of these things myself.  I’ve also looked in the mirror and reminded myself that it’s not too late to start trying again.

I enjoy all of the blessings that have been placed in my life even though I truly don’t deserve them – my loving family, my friends, the amazingly tolerant and sincere man who makes me smile from ear to ear just because, my home…

It seems like I started this journey a lifetime ago, and the truth is, I did.  Everything is different, and now I have to change the way I’m living if I want to enjoy it fully.  I know what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t know how to make myself do it.  My inspirational, rock star in weight-loss and life friend, Tara, reminded me this morning that “my before wants to meet my after.”  I cried when I read that because I felt like such a failure, and she suggested that I was crying because I wanted it so badly.  She’s right.

I want to start shedding pounds again more than I want almost everything else in my life.  Now all I have to do is convince myself that I want it enough to go and get it.



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  • Reply
    Marc Applewhite
    January 21, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    I get it. I totally understand, relate, empathize, all of that stuff as I find myself in a very similar place.

    I won’t tell you all the things you already know simply because you already know them. You know your restarting point, that “first” weigh-in is always toughest.

    Now you, we, us, we just have to go and get it. Simple but not easy but when is it ever, right?

    Hugs and all the support I can give you from here….Marc

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    It’s really hard, Kenlie. Don’t beat yourself up too much! I think you’re truly beautiful–no matter what size! The photos you post on your Facebook page, you look so happy and beautiful 🙂 Just wanted to say that!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    I’m sorry you’re feeling so down about this. I can relate. I have gained a little over 15 pounds back since the summer. It’s been one thing after another, and my weight also comes back on so easily. You are worth it, don’t feel like you’re not. No matter how far you are from your goal, just do your best to not give up. I know it’s easier said than done. I feel like I am battling every day not to gain the weight back I lost. I have gone back and forth with my weight for a year, and I read Chris Powell’s book Choose to Lose. It’s about carb cycling, which is supposed to trick your body into burning fat. A lot of the issues he described in the book about plateaus make perfect sense, and I think this may help me. I am not doing it exactly how he says with the exercise because I do my own stuff already, but I am going to cycle between low and high carb days and eat every 3 hours like he suggests. Anyway, I hope that you will find your way again. Don’t be discouraged. I think almost everyone who has lost weight has gained at least a few pounds back at some point. It’s very hard.

  • Reply
    Margi Hansen
    January 21, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Here’s one tiny hope to hold on to. You are still closer to 300 than 400. When I reached 349 I had huge naked (by myself, c’mon!) dance party. It’s the little things, really.

    I’m right there with you. I haven’t gained the weight back-but I have been absolutely stagnant for the last 13 months. I have a goal-275. I REALLY want to get there-so why aren’t I?

  • Reply
    Betty Adams
    January 21, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Just {{{{HUGS}}}} That’s all!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    The truth is, SHIT HAPPENS.
    I have gained and lost the same 30lbs three times in the past 8 years. Right now I’m on a good streak…does that mean I don’t want macaroni and cheese every damn day? No.
    Don’t beat yourself up over it, just perk yourself up and get on with it.
    Lately, and I know this sounds bonkers, but everynight before bed I read through quotes on pinterest on my iphone and it really really really inspires me. There’s some good stuff on there (and also some bad), but I always feel really jazzed up after a few good ones.
    It all starts with you, just remember that!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    I think we can all relate! Just let tomorrow be a step in the right direction. Its all about not quitting and then it is just ANOTHER step on the journey! You are still an inspiration! Keep it up!

  • Reply
    Daisy T.
    January 21, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    I really love your honesty and I empathize with your struggle. Keep on keeping on and remember that when you don’t think you can do it there are others out there who know you can. Lean on them and let them boost you back to the place where you can believe in yourself again. Much love!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    i think the KEY to losing weight is accoutability my weight loss began Aug 31 and i started at 479.8 and got as low as 435.9, right now i am 441.0 we must believe weight loss is a Concious effort and should never try to do it Unconciously

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    I am sitting here crying after I read your post. I am so disgusted with myself. I was In a dressing room yesterday and just sat there for a minute and thought how did I let myself get this bad??? I just don’t know where to start. I have such along road to go and all I can see is the large picture…..you will get there again… I know exactly what you mean about it being so easy to find it back…… You are in my thoughts……

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    love you girl!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I feel for you so much! I still have yet to get back down to the weight I was pre-holidays. I started getting back into dietbets to give me the push and I got it by only 0.1 – even that didn’t help like it used to! What it did so is keep me more on track than I would have been and, thankfully, I feel like I’m back to that place where it’s a not easier to make the right choices. A couple other bloggers and I may be starting a dietbet after January if you want in! It’s such a good push an that would be a really supportive group!

    Anyway, I got a little off track! I completely understand having those negative feelings, but still feeling like you’re a happy person. I can be really enjoying life and let that part slip easily – I only think about it when I start to get down on myself and it’s often hard to make the right choices when I’m feeling that way. It’s hard to climb out of that cycle and it takes time. It helped me to know I did it before and with each good choice I make it gets easier. When I was binging on Christmas cookies like a madwoman, I didn’t let it depress me because I was getting my exercise in and making some great healthy meals. Eventually, I got stronger, and you can get back to that place too! It just takes small goals and small changes!

    Good luck! And use this awesome support system you have!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    I would really love it if you posted more and in more detail about your life/diet. I really like your blog and I would like to read more but it seems you dont post that often 🙁

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    I think most of us know all too well the rollercoaster that is weight loss.

    You are the only person who can motivate yourself to make a long-term change. I understand the frustration. I was so unhappy with who I was but food made me feel better. If my mom or husband would make some sort of suggestion about cleaning up my diet or exercising, it didn’t motivate me, it embarrassed me and made me binge even more. I could read as many blogs or inspirational quotes as possible, but none of that was going to motivate me to change, it was something that I had to do myself.

    You’ve done it before, you can do it again. Admitting this all is the first step toward change. I’m proud of you for putting it out there and cheer you on while you work towards your goal, whatever it may be!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Writing this post demonstrates to me that you do want it. You’ve done great so far and there are so many people here ready to cheer you on and support you when you need it. I love reading about your success and even the struggles. You’re such an inspiration. I really love when you share your journey on this blog, FMM is not my favorite feature, it’s you being you. 🙂

    • Reply
      January 21, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      Thank you, Jill. FMM is definitely me being me…trying to help others connect, find friends, inspiration, etc. It’s not going anywhere, but I appreciate that you like the rest of it.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this! Please don’t feel you are alone, as I could have written this post myself.

    For all you are feeling right now, just know that you can shed those 50lbs and then some!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    What is your plan to get back on track? I know Weight Watchers helped you before; are you going to use them again?

    I think we all know that keeping the weight off is much harder than losing it (although losing seems tough at the time). One blogger I read is posting again after getting to goal, then gaining back over 100 pounds, and another is fighting tooth and nail EVERY day to stay at goal.

    You know what to do, and you have a great support system in place, so I’m sure you will be in control again soon.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    I think Ed nails it, weight loss – and keeping fit – are conscious efforts. You have to actively be doing the things that bring about success in order to succeed, unless you are stranded on a deserted island and have no choice in the matter.
    You lost over 100 pounds before, you can do it again and then some if you choose. Be sure to recognize that it is just that, a choice, and it’s within you to make it.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    Thank you for opening up and sharing with us. You aren’t alone, but you know that already. We are on a lifelong journey so it doesn’t really matter when we start, stop, fail, or start again because it has no end. All that matters, in my opinion, is that you always start again.

    Head high and hugs to you!

  • Reply
    Becky Martinez
    January 21, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    You are not alone…so many of us lose, struggle, and find lost pounds…as long as you don’t give up your journey is not over!

    In 2011 I was joined WW & lost 83 pounds…about 60 pounds away from goal. Christmas came and so did a 5 pound gain. In January my dad had a stroke, in June my mom had a minor car accident and had to stop driving. I became their full time caregiver. I have an amazing husband and two awesome kids…ages 17 & 9. I spent much of 2012 watching the scale go up
    and down the same few pounds over and over. I spent most of 2013 watching the scale go up more than down. I quit WW when my father passed away in September & the pounds came back pretty quickly…within 3 months I had gained about 20 pounds…I used all my time & energy taking care of everyone & everything, I fell off my to do list. November I decided I would go back to WW in January and make an extra effort in 2014 to keep myself on my list!

    I went to my first meeting on Friday, January 3rd…I was excited & nervous. Excited to get back to WW, nervous I would not be able to be consistent. I weighed in at 262…almost 50 pounds more than my lowest weight in 2011.

    To my surprise Simple Start was being introduced…I was scared to not count pp, but I gave it a try. My first week I ate really good food and was not stressed or overwhelmed…I lost 7 pounds! I was excited to start my 2nd week then Aunt Flo came to town. I continued with Simple Start and only gained .2 so close to staying exactly the same!!! I was so proud of myself because if I wasn’t being so careful I could have easily gained 5 pounds that week.

    At my third meeting I decided I would continue Simle Start using the Simply Filling Technique. I still divide weeklies into 7 per day, but if I don’t use them
    all I carry them over to the next day…I feel more in control and less stressed having to keep track of so many less pp, and still being able to eat! I am hoping to lose at least 3.2 this week to make it to 10 pounds…if I don’t make it this week I will try again next week.

    It is never too late to recommit to your WLJ…maybe WW Simple Start is just what you need to get back on track…maybe you need something totally different…find what works for you & work it for you…I know you can do it!!

    P.S. You have the best smile & personality ever…don’t be too hard on yourself …you are amazing!!! 🙂

  • Reply
    Nikki Presnell
    January 21, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    I have been where you are at. I weighed 234lbs at one time and then lost 93 doing weight watchers and kept it off for a long time. I then l8st 3 of my grandparents in 3 months and gained back up to 211. I finally decide I needed to get back at it so I have since lost to 166 but gained 4lbs over Christmas. Having said that I wanted to tell you that you can do it again and dont beat yourself up. I am proud of all that you have accomplished.

  • Reply
    Melissa E.
    January 21, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    First off this statement -“Look at you. You’re never going to be pretty anyway” couldn’t be further from the truth. Seriously, you are beautiful now, 50 pounds lighter, 100 pounds lighter, whatever you weigh you are beautiful.

    I have a negative voice in my head too. I am a bit older than you and when I look back at pictures in my 20’s and 30’s I wish I could go back and punch myself in the face for thinking the crap I thought. Thinking I would somehow be better, more worthy of happiness if I weighed less. Truth is I look at those pictures and am bothered by the fact that I wasted so much time struggling with this negativity I imposed on myself.

    It is incredibly hard to lose weight when that voice is taunting you. The fact is you can do it if you want to. It means that you have to shut that voice down and know that you are wonderful and capable. Whatever you want to do you are fully capable of and you have plenty of people rooting for you.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 7:10 pm

    You are not alone. I totally understand how upset you are. It took me two years to loose 100 pounds. I was under under 300! Then I got stuck for six months. Add in moving, my health acting up,laziness, and I gained back twenty (or so). My solution? Start over again. This time my goal is to keep going to my goal of 145. No excuses. No more baking cookies and cakes for other peoples birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years,etc. If I stop at 195 I will slowly gain it all back.
    So stop beating yourself up. You can do this. So can I.
    Thanks for the motivation. We are all in this together.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    I hope this gif works. But it’s the one from “Princess Diaries” when Joe tells Mia that no one can make her feel inferior except herself. Everyone’s journey is different. I lost 60 pounds in the space of six months, and gained it all back and then some. I couldn’t sustain the fast weight loss. I needed to lose it more slowly. I have been chugging at this for almost six years now, and I can say that I have lost 120 pounds. I still have weight to lose, and am not finished by any means. And the rate I have lost it isn’t anything to write home about, but it works for me. Don’t overthink this, just do it, as Nike says. We all have trial and error to find what is right. There is no one size fits all strategy, but don’t compare yourself to anyone but yourself. And maybe this was something that needed to happen. Simply take the lesson you have learned and move forward with that knowledge. All the best!

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    I am also stuck so I feel your pain. It is so hard to start over again. I always enjoy seeing your smile on your blog page. It seems like a lot of other wonderful stuff is happening for you so try to focus on that.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    You have the most gorgeous and genuine smile so I know you are beautiful! Life is not fair and gaining weight and then working on making it disappear is hard. We all have battles. Good luck and make you be blessed as you work on yours. I’m trying, too.♥♫

  • Reply
    Mission Meltdown (Dre)
    January 21, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Close that chapter. Start a new one. You’re strong. You’re phenomenal. So, speak it and claim it. ***Fist pound*** 😉

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    Hi Kenlie. I’m hurting inside for you. I’m your biggest fan (ha – no pun intended). Please, just open a few pages of the Calorie Myth by Jonathan Bailor, or his first book. It seems for me to be the only way to lose and keep it off. Not fast, for me at least, but steady, and – yes – success at last. Really wish you’d give his ideas a whirl. Just read some of it and see what you think. Since this weight thing is paramount on your mind, I’m so rooting for you. But know that regardless of weight, you are everything you need to be. Hugs.

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    Maybe you should start blogging daily again. That makes you more accountable. Right now, you don’t have to be accountable to anyone. You’ve done it before and can do it again. I find with many bloggers, they lose a great deal of weight, and then start gaining. Then they stop blogging. We all know what is happening. Why don’t you sign up to My Fitness Pal. We know you love your iPhone ;). I have the same struggles everyday, but quite like MFP. Even if I go over my calories I track them. Accountability is the only way! Good luck with this. I hope you can get back on track. BTW … you are beautiful, no matter what is in your head.

  • Reply
    Kelly @ No Thanks to Cake
    January 21, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    Just sending you some love from Colorado, lady. xoxo

  • Reply
    January 21, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    I’m very sorry that you’ve lost your focus and have regained. From your blog posts and twitter, it seemed like you were happy, walking a lot and eating healthy? I’m very surprised you haven’t weighed yourself in ages. My scale tells me the truth and keeps me on track towards my goal.

    If you haven’t already done so, you should speak with your pastor and/or a therapist about whatever issues are currently at the root of your regain.

    All the best and hope you can turn around the indifference into success,

  • Reply
    January 22, 2014 at 1:16 am

    It is all hard. The ongoing dialogue in our heads wields so much control. It is exhausting. It is hard to focus on the positive. I feel for you. I started seeing a personal trainer 3 days a week. My main goal is strength. I had a hip and knee replaced in 2013. I wanted to work on balance also. I have not lost lbs yet, but I really do feel stronger and more confident in my physical being. Maybe see if you could hook up with a trainer. I feel that the weight will come next. I also am trying to replace the dialogue with some positive stuff. I wish you success and I hope you feel the love around you. Because there is lots there.

  • Reply
    January 22, 2014 at 9:03 am

    I had weightloss surgery in March. I still have 20-30lbs to reach my goal but for the past 2 months, I haven’t exercised and I’ve been eating poorly. I pretty much beat myself up every day with the same mental struggles as I’ve always had. Having had this surgery, I think it’s worse because now I have to add in there “I don’t want to be a statistic” and “I don’t want to be the one that fails”. Unfortunately for some…surgery or none…it’s a life time struggle. Good luck Kenlie. I know there isn’t much people can say to “make things better”…it’s just so personal.

  • Reply
    January 22, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    I don’t think there’s anyone who follows your blog who can’t relate! We’ve all been there and had a few bumps in the road. You will get back to that place again. Just start with baby steps…. We’ll all be here for you!

  • Reply
    January 22, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    I can totally relate. I yo’yo’d my entire adult life. I lost 60 lbs. in my 40’s…and over 70 lbs. in 2009. Then I gained 60 of it back. I discovered Wheat Belly, then Primal Eating last year, and I not only lost 68 pounds, but I really, really, really have changed my lifestyle in the process. It’s doable, but most people want to keep grains and sugar in their life, ‘in moderation’, and that just won’t work, scientifically. That’s the dilemma. Most people don’t want to venture outside of their comfy little diet box. I wish you luck!

  • Reply
    January 22, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    Tomorrow is a new day and you decide what will happen in it. 🙂 You know you can do great things!

  • Reply
    January 22, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    I could copy and paste this entire post into my own blog and proclaim that it’s my story. I won’t do that, of course, but just know that you are not alone. I was 305ish in 2008 and got down to 227 in 2010 before getting back up to 288 by the end of 2013. I was ready to throw in the towel and say SCREW IT. But then I didn’t, because I remembered how good 227 felt and how I had more energy and love for life. I loved myself more, too. I still love myself, don’t get me wrong, but I am working on refilling my self-love cup to the point where it spilleth over.

    The hardest thing to do is to start. Take some baby steps and you can do this! 🙂

  • Reply
    January 22, 2014 at 11:58 pm

    I can relate. I was once halfway to my goal weight and gained all the weight back. I just recently started over in at the beginning of January. I saw a quote once that said: “Losing weight is hard. Maintaining is hard. Staying overweight is hard. Choose your hard.”. Starting over is hard. But it’s the good kind of hard! You CAN do this. I also second signing up for My Fitness Pal. It’s amazing!

  • Reply
    January 23, 2014 at 12:20 am

    You got this girl! You just checked in. Put it out there and look at your support crew.

  • Reply
    January 23, 2014 at 8:38 am

    Kenlie, I hope you won’t take this the wrong way because my intent is not to criticize or blame you, but have you considered lap band surgery?

    • Reply
      January 23, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      I don’t take that as criticism at all. I have considered it, but it is not something that I’m personally willing to do.

  • Reply
    January 23, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    Take one step back, jump two steps forward. You’ll get there! Been there, done that…

    I’m a long time reader, New Orleanian, Tulane graduate, and I’ve commented before… so here’s my little slice of what I hope could be a suggestion. Have you ever heard of crossfit? Once upon a time I was scared and intimidated by it…but then I tried it and my only regret was that I hadn’t done it sooner! I stumbled upon the most inspiring and motivating group of people! The workouts are no joke, but everything.. EVERY SINGLE MOVEMENT can be scaled to your ability. CrossFit is NOT for skilled top athletes…it’s for EVERYONE! My box (CrossFit locations are called boxes, not gyms) hosts community workouts once a month that are free to the public and you are always welcome to join! Maybe one solution to your set back is to find something you enjoy. The workouts are never the same and that keeps you from getting bored! I know all about treadmill, elliptical, gym machine boredom. When I’m not in class, I get e-mails or FB posts from fellow classmates wondering where I am! When you get into a class you are all in it together. The first person that finishes starts cheering for those that are not yet finished. I could go on for days about how great it is…but if you have any questions or would like to join the community workout one day, please shoot me an e-mail! I’d love for you to join me!

    One last thing…this year my box’s focus is on service…throughout the year we will be doing volunteer work within the community. For example, this Sunday we are having a game night at a New Orleans based homeless shelter that houses teens and young adults that assists in education, healthcare, job placement, and getting these young adults into their first apartments, etc. It’s much more than a “gym”!

  • Reply
    Kelli @ healthierbytheweek
    January 23, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    As a physician I think the hardest part for my patients to lose weight is finding the motivation. Once the motivation can be found then it has to become part of your daily routine. It’s definitely not as easy as it sounds…good luck 🙂

  • Reply
    Mary Lou
    January 24, 2014 at 8:47 am

    Kenlie, Many of us have been there…..more than once. I keep telling myself up and down is still better than up and up. I just have to keep trying. I am back at it now and doing well. I know struggles are ahead, I just have to do the best I can and keep at it.

  • Reply
    January 24, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    I just stumbled across your blog from a friend of mine. I’ve only read one post and I already love it! Stay strong, write down your goals, enjoy the journey. Weightloss should never feel like a chore…. only a chapter in a long and happy life! 🙂

  • Reply
    Seventies Girl
    January 27, 2014 at 9:56 am

    Thanks for such an honest post that everyone with weight challenges can relate to. I have come to realize that for me weight loss is really the practice of living in the moment. I have to make dozens of decisions ‘in the moment’ everyday to insure healthy eating. Sometimes I make a loving selfcare decision and sometimes I punish and sabotage myself. I get motivated by knowing that I can make a ‘good’ decision in the next moment – I don’t have to wait until Monday, or until my next meeting, or until all the cookies are gone. I wish you effortless practice time of living in the moment and taking good care of yourself today!!
    P.S. Love the comment from FitBegin above! Will use those words for inspiration in this moment!

  • Reply
    Lydia Taylor
    January 27, 2014 at 10:33 am

    Hi there. I found my way over to your blog via another bloggers site, and my heart went out to you after reading the daily beatings you put yourself through. Many of those we have in common. I will be rooting for you this year, you’ve come a very long way. We all back slide, we all slip up. It might make the journey a little bit longer but at least you’re still on the road.

  • Reply
    January 27, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Great comments by all! I can relate, and I LOVE MyFitnessPal 🙂 I too gained back half of what I lost and I chose to “restart” at the begining of this month. What I did was set a goal (I’ll celebrate my 5 year anniversary on MyFitnessPal next Jan and want to finally hit my goal before then) and remind myself this is a LIFESTYLE change. Yes I’m going to eat less calories to lose weight, but even when that goal comes, I still have to make healthy choices or I’ll be right back to where I was before this all began. For me, I know that my eating is forever going to require monitoring and concious effort. I’m 35 now and as I physically feel my body starting to change (from growing to aging!) I realize how important these decisions are for my long term future. My ultimate goal? To live past 100 – because I LOVE life!

  • Reply
    January 27, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    It takes a lot of courage to publicly admit to the weight gain. Good for you! I think being honest w/ yourself, especially, is the key to success. You can do this, one small choice at a time.

  • Reply
    January 29, 2014 at 11:33 pm

    I hope you find the best path for you, Kenlie. I have spent my life going up and down on the scale and being unhappy about it. Eleven years ago in April, I made my weight loss goal with WW and right now I’m ten pounds under my goal weight. It takes work, but it is worth it and I only wish I had learned a lot of these things when I was in my 20’s instead of in my 50’s and 60’s. I am not pushing WW as I don’t agree with them on a lot of things, but I do thank them for teaching me to maintain my weight. It isn’t always easy and being consistent is key. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

  • Reply
    January 31, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    I understand!

  • Reply
    February 1, 2014 at 10:17 am

    I really enjoy your blog. We all have been where you are and I for one am there now. I have gained a few pounds back but I am working on getting rid of them. I appreciate you being honest. I hope that you continue with the blog. Everything will fall into place. My problem is I want it now.

  • Reply
    February 1, 2014 at 11:21 am

    So…what changes have you made in your lifestyle since you posted this?

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