I lead the social media team for our church, and we were discussing how my personal blog has changed over the last year and a half or so.
I explained that I’ve outgrown it -that the good no longer outweighs the negativity. I don’t exactly believe that so I also told the team about all of the positive things that have come as a result, and I admitted that I was torn.
Some of you have been praying for me for years, while others aren’t very happy that I love Jesus now. They don’t like that I talk about Him, and they’ve been pretty candid about it.
We talked about the folks who are few in number, though sometimes extraordinarily annoying. You know them – the jerks who troll the internet trying to tear strangers down. Sometimes they target me, and sometimes it bothers me. I ignore it, but sometimes it bugs me. I’m human, you know? I wish I could keep all of the good while eradicating all of the bad.
He said, “If you know what HE did for you, then it doesn’t matter what they do to you.“
In the past I’ve treated people poorly. I’ve been selfish. I’ve lied. I’ve spoken people with less respect than they deserve. That said, I repented, and it’s something that I have to do often. I’ve spent the last few years becoming honest with myself, and while it has been incredibly difficult, it has also allowed me to experience freedom.
I’ve found happiness, but I’ve also found contentment. I’ve experienced forgiveness and grace, and I’ve been overwhelmed by the love of God and the people around me. I’m more humble, more honest and more fulfilled than I ever could have imagined, and while I’ll never be perfect, I know who I am now. I know how God sees me. His grace has been extended to me, and I accept it.
There are some changes coming on this blog, and I hope that they’ll represent me as who I am today. I still have issues to work through, and there’s a lot that I’d like to say. I’m not done working through every single issue. I haven’t figured out how to be successful in weight-loss yet, and that’s a big one.
This blog means something to me, and those of you who offer support and encouragement mean something to me. I’ll be turning a page on this blog soon, and I hope you’re around as I start the next chapter.