It’s been quite a long time since I made a trip back to New York. I went several times in 2012, but when I moved into my apartment later that year, I started loving my life here. I didn’t spend much time thinking about New York, and that was an unexpected relief.
I’ve grown and healed so much since I left that place, and I am (thankfully) no longer convinced that it’s the only place in which I can be happy. I’m happy in New Orleans. I love the life that I’m living here, and it makes me wonder how I’ll feel when I’m back in New York.
Will I remember the intense love that I once had for the city? Will I wish that I was staying longer, or that I didn’t have to get on a plane to return home? Will I be as anxious to get back to New Orleans as I am when I travel to other places?
When I left New York and moved across the country, I had no idea that I would go through the things that have led me to this point in my life. I thought I would desperately miss New York, and for a long time I did. Now it’s a place that carries a lot of incredible memories for me, and lately I’ve wondered whether or not it will be more than that again.
People used to ask me why I loved New York, and I always explained that I just breathe differently there. I explained that my heart was at rest there in a way, in which it hadn’t been in other places, and I wonder if I’ll feel that way again.
I think I’ve subconsciously avoided New York over the last year or more because, on some level, I’m worried that I’ll miss it when I leave, but it’s important to know where you want to be. Right now, I’m content in New Orleans, and I’m content in worrying about the future later. We’ll see if heading back to my favorite place changes that….
Is there a place in the world that always makes you feel at home whether you live there or not? If so, where’s that place for you?