I don’t love blogging here anymore. I like sharing my thoughts, but it’s been a long time since I was interested in discussing my health here.
I’ve droned on about my feelings of regret and failure because I’m not succeeding in the area of weight-loss, but while I was in Savannah a friend posed a very important question that made me think about failure and success in a different way.
She asked, “What are your top 3 priorities in life right now?” I listed things like school, my relationship with God, people in my life, etc. Nowhere on my list of priorities did weight-loss appear, and she lovely pointed out that I’m not failing in weight-loss because I’m not trying to lose weight.
When I made it a priority, the weight came off. When I counted points and exercised, the results showed. When I held myself accountable, I succeeded, but it’s been a long, long time since I have bothered with that.
My priorities have been placed on other things, and I’ve been open about that. Eating delicious food with my friends makes me happy. It’s not the only thing that makes me happy, but I like it. Exercise makes me happy too, but that’s easier to forget. I love the feeling I get when I push through a tough workout. I like both things, but I’ve allowed myself to forget the importance of moderation in both.
I’m not sure when I’ll find a new, more focused groove. I’m also not sure that I’ll share it here when I do. I wish that I could tell you that I’m on track to losing 150 pounds, but I’m not. It’s not my top priority, and it has to be if it’s going to happen.
I wish that the reality didn’t seem so somber, but I’m just being honest about where I am. I’ve experienced an incredible amount of positive change in the last couple of years, and I hope it continues in a way that helps me to regain control and to lose weight.