Emotions Friends

Forgiveness Isn’t Always Easy, But It’s Always Right

I’m generally pretty open about my feelings, but there are times in which I know I shouldn’t bother sharing them because they’ll fall on deaf ears.

Recently a friend made me angry and hurt my feelings pretty severely. While that friend probably didn’t do it on purpose, they have a tough time accepting responsibility for their own actions. That person blames everyone else for everything that’s wrong, and they don’t view life from the same scope as I do.

If I offend someone I want to know so I have a chance to fix it. I don’t like knowing that someone feels hurt or angry due to something I’ve done whether I think I’m right or not. I care about people, and sometimes I’m forced to recognize that they don’t care back. It’s part of life, and I’ve been on both sides of that situation.

Right now I’m too angry/aggravated to talk about it with that person, but I know it’s what I’m supposed to do. I also know that it probably won’t be well-received (because, again, it’s always someone else’s fault,) which makes me think that I shouldn’t bother.

I’ve been a selfish jerk before, and I’ve received more grace than I could ever deserve. I forgive the person who made me feel like crap, and I know that I need to make some changes in my friendship with them. I know that you can only do so much to care for a person before you realize that it won’t change anything.

Sometimes people suck. The fact is that God forgave each of us for every horrible thing we did and will do, and forgiving the person who hurt me is nothing in comparison to that.

Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary to live a peaceful life. I’m not sure when or if I’ll be able to convey my thoughts to the person who upset me, but I do know that I need to forgive and move on.

I’m working on it…

 

 

 

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Mike
    January 13, 2015 at 5:42 am

    I can relate to this Kenlie, believe me. While most of the time I feel hurt because someone said something to me that I didn’t like, I usually try to roll it off and just say to myself, “its them, not me”, even though its hard for me to foreget or forgive what they’ve done. I tend to hold onto grudges for a long time. I know that I need to work on forgiveness, but its not easy. I have quite a long list of grudges that I know I need to let go. God would want me to. But on the other side, if I know that I have hurt someone, I always take responsibility for what I’ve done and will apologize to them. And like you said, its not always well received by the other person. But we all must remember that we can’t control other people’s actions. I agree in that people sometimes suck and act like total idiots. But as long as we do what we’re supposed to do, we’ve taken care of our part. Its out of our hands and that other person must do the rest. I hope that you will be able to workout whatever’s wrong between you and your friend Kenlie. You can do it. 🙂

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 20, 2015 at 3:50 pm

      I was happy again by the time I hit submit on this post. Forgiving is much easier most of the time than staying angry…especially in this instance.

      • Reply
        Mike
        January 20, 2015 at 4:55 pm

        Yes, I agree. I heard once that the forgiveness is for our benefit and not so much for the other person as we only hurt ourselves more the longer we stay angry. It is something that I am working on.

  • Reply
    Tracy @ My Tiny Tank
    January 13, 2015 at 6:39 am

    Well said

  • Reply
    stellarfashionandfitness
    January 13, 2015 at 10:11 am

    Forgiveness is hard. It’s necessary to stick up for ourselves and how we want to be treated, too. I have a hard time knowing I’ve wronged someone, and I also have a hard time standing up for myself, but it’s become easier as I’ve gotten older and learned to value myself more. We can forgive, but that doesn’t mean we have to allow toxic people into our daily lives. Good luck!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      January 20, 2015 at 3:51 pm

      I addressed it, and now we’re in a good place again. This person isn’t toxic, and actually, after I talked about it, I realized that I misunderstood some things. I’m okay with that, and we’re working to make a better balance..

  • Reply
    Emily
    January 13, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    That’s not fun… to be hurt nor to have to talk to the person about it… especially when feelings are strong. I’m with you..I take responsibility for my actions and would like others to do that as well. However, there was a season in my life (four years) when I wasn’t nice…. and nothing was ever my fault. I was what I now call “walking wounded” – always *thisclose* to tears. BUT even when I was deflecting any responsibility, what I did pay attention to were people who were matter of fact (was opposite my emotional-ness) and who told me how my actions affected them. I couldn’t ultimately find fault because their experiences were their experiences and I had done something to cause that. Even if I didn’t seem to respond appropriately when someone had that conversation with me, I still absorbed it all, thought about it, and remembered it years later. So when you get a chance to have a conversation with your friend, I hope you’re able to simply communicate how their actions made you feel. Hopefully they’ll listen, absorb it all, and make any changes needed.

    It’s a good reminder to me as well to have those conversations when needed instead of letting time go by and not addressing them. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability here.

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