I’m generally pretty open about my feelings, but there are times in which I know I shouldn’t bother sharing them because they’ll fall on deaf ears.
Recently a friend made me angry and hurt my feelings pretty severely. While that friend probably didn’t do it on purpose, they have a tough time accepting responsibility for their own actions. That person blames everyone else for everything that’s wrong, and they don’t view life from the same scope as I do.
If I offend someone I want to know so I have a chance to fix it. I don’t like knowing that someone feels hurt or angry due to something I’ve done whether I think I’m right or not. I care about people, and sometimes I’m forced to recognize that they don’t care back. It’s part of life, and I’ve been on both sides of that situation.
Right now I’m too angry/aggravated to talk about it with that person, but I know it’s what I’m supposed to do. I also know that it probably won’t be well-received (because, again, it’s always someone else’s fault,) which makes me think that I shouldn’t bother.
I’ve been a selfish jerk before, and I’ve received more grace than I could ever deserve. I forgive the person who made me feel like crap, and I know that I need to make some changes in my friendship with them. I know that you can only do so much to care for a person before you realize that it won’t change anything.
Sometimes people suck. The fact is that God forgave each of us for every horrible thing we did and will do, and forgiving the person who hurt me is nothing in comparison to that.
Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary to live a peaceful life. I’m not sure when or if I’ll be able to convey my thoughts to the person who upset me, but I do know that I need to forgive and move on.
I’m working on it…