Lifestyle Reflection

Fifty Shades of Grey

I read all three books in the Fifty Shades of Grey series, and I have been looking forward to watching the movie since before it was in production. Sure, I was underwhelmed by the lack of a tangible story line and the poor writing, especially when author tried to convince us that Ana and her roommate sat around their Seattle apartment drinking tea instead of coffee, but I enjoyed the first book enough to read the others.

I didn’t come to any harsh conclusions after reading the books when they came out, nor did I think that the sex was particularly steamy. The main female character was clearly inexperienced and naive, while Christian was successful, arrogant, and broken.

There’s something appealing about a sexy billionaire whose heart needs to be mended. We suspend reality to get to the happy endings, so why should Fifty Shades be any different? It’s not real; I’m not actually participating in abuse to watch this movie, and when it’s over I’m going to go back to the apartment that I live in alone. What’s the big deal? (I’ve been trying to honestly answer this question all week.)

The issue for me is that this kind of relationship leads to a path of devastation that I never want to experience. It is not sexy to me to think of a young, inexperienced woman who is manipulated and abused by a controlling man. It’s not romantic, and it’s definitely not GOD-approved.

When I read the books I was in a different head space. I wasn’t thinking about what GOD thought of my actions; I didn’t care about moving into a closer relationship with Him. I also neglected to see the implications of unhealthy relationships like these. I definitely should have known better.

I won’t be seeing this movie today or any other day. It’s not because I think I’m too holy for it; it’s because I think I’m too good for it. It’s because I only make room for people and things in my life that breed love, respect, and growth. I face real challenges, and watching watered down, R-rated pornography, while undoubtedly eating too much buttery popcorn, won’t help me conquer any of them.

I have friends who will see the movie, but I’m choosing not to. I won’t judge them for it, but I also won’t ask them about it. The truth is that my initial desire to watch this movie has caused me to look at other things that I watch, and I recognize that it’s time to make some changes in other areas as well.

Until then…

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  • Reply
    February 14, 2015 at 9:14 am

    You go girl! God is smiling because you know that we need to be careful what we put in our minds. Loved this post.

    • Reply
      March 20, 2015 at 1:47 am

      I mean, I definitely need to make some changes about what I’m willing to allow in my mind. I’m working on that, and this movie was a good example of that.

  • Reply
    February 14, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    A wise opinion…. Go girl, i agree with u.

  • Reply
    Early M
    February 14, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Oh wow! You echo exactly what I said to a friend earlier this week, that I bought and read the trilogy, but it was a different season in my life. I wouldn’t buy the books if they were just coming out now, and I will not be seeing the movie…
    Wise decision!

    • Reply
      February 17, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      That’s a great way to put it. I was in a very different season when they came out. I think I have a much healthier view of relationships and my self-worth than I did when I read them. My desires are just different now.

  • Reply
    February 14, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    I think you made a good Godly decision. Christian women need to be very careful what we let our eyes take in. In my opinion this is another trick of Satan, to trick and decieve us.

    • Reply
      March 20, 2015 at 1:48 am

      I think you’re precisely right. I also think that it’s just gross. I don’t look at it the way I did at one time.

  • Reply
    February 14, 2015 at 11:58 pm

    I have not read the books ….. nor will I see the movie.

    I am proud of you for taking this stand esp as your friends will be seeing the movie

    Please know God will bless you greatly for honouring Him

    Philippians 4:8 and 9

    • Reply
      February 17, 2015 at 5:06 pm

      I read that particular passage a few days ago, Kathie, and it made it pretty clear to me.

  • Reply
    February 15, 2015 at 7:18 am

    Amen! I totally agree. Good call. 🙂

  • Reply
    Heather Forcey
    February 15, 2015 at 9:25 am

    I like your attitude. If people want to see it, great. If they don’t great. I’m tired of seeing other people take a high and mighty entitlement towards this movie and shaming people for wanting to watch it. I read the books. Have not seen the movie. If I do, it won’t be until it’s on DVD, and even then, I probably won’t be interested. (If Matt Bomer had been cast, that might be a different story!) I don’t mind people stating their opinions, but I do cringe when they tell everyone else they are wrong for their choices. (You didn’t do that! And you are very right about having to be mindful of what we read, see, watch, hear.)

    • Reply
      February 17, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      This would have been a much bigger struggle for me if Matt Bomer was the lead too, but I’m so glad he’s not…so so so glad that lusting over him isn’t even an option because he’s one of the most beautiful men ever….It would have been much more difficult even though what’s right for me is still right for me. Whew.

  • Reply
    Deb Willbefree
    March 8, 2015 at 1:03 am

    Hey, Kenlie. I see that you are doing well in your journey with God. 🙂 So astounding that a post featuring 50 Shades of Grey turned out to be a clear example of what happens when one’s heart embraces God.

    And, yes, one bit of light, one change,, often does lead to another…like step following step down a path.

    I am just blessed by this post. 😀


    • Reply
      March 20, 2015 at 1:49 am

      Wow Deb, Thank you for saying that. I agree with you too.

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