Hurting People Hurt People, Or Why Blogging Probably Isn’t The Answer

I feel so much better than I have for the last month or so. After realizing that the contents of my work was bothering me, I was able to address it. I addressed everything else that bothered me as well, and I realized that people really are (mostly) good. 

Some of the feelings I faced were tough to navigate through because I’m insecure, but after some self-reflection and straightforward talk from someone close to me, I realized that I’m pretty lucky. It’s easy to count the times when someone has been mean to my face, but it happens countless times here on my blog. 

I find so much encouragement here, but there’s also a lot of negativity from the trolls who are still obsessed with hating me. There only seems to be a  couple of them, but they are loud and obsessive. It’s insane and a little disturbing that people who don’t know me are willing to waste so much energy obsessively hating me. It’s weird, but it makes me feel so sorry for them. I mean, how much does your life have to suck to be obsessed with spewing judgement and blind hatred on someone else’s? 

When I look around at my life, I see so much validation and fulfillment that didn’t always exist for me. I feel content in who I am and what I’m doing even though I still want to make changes. I think there will always be room for growth and progress, and I don’t think I’ll be a failure unless I give in to the feelings of self-doubt that I experienced last week. 

We all have bad days, and I had several in a row. When I think about the things that other people go through my issues seem pretty insignificant. My issues matter, in as much as I need to face them, but today my heart goes out to the people who are truly suffering – the people I read about at work and the people who are so consumed by hurt and anger that they target me and others like me. 

I love to write, and I love to share my feelings. It helps me grow, but I’m processing and progressing a lot right now outside of the blog. It’s hard to imagine not checking in here regularly, but it’s also not something that sounds appealing right now. 

I won’t make any hard and fast decisions, except to do what’s best for me regardless of what others think about it. 

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Aly
    May 26, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Is there a way that you can have someone you trust (in real life or on the blog world) be the person who can filter through your comments, and delete the terrible ones before you get a chance to see them? I’m not sure how it’d work, but it would be nice for you to see the encouraging comments and not have to see the terrible ones before deleting.

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  • Reply
    Mike
    May 26, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    Kenlie, I am glad that you are feeling better. I am so sorry that I haven’t been around much lately. I have had to deal with some personal issues myself lately, one of which deals with a similar thing to what you have been facing.

    I don’t know what it is about social media, but it seems that people are meaner on things like blogs, Twitter, that accursed Facebook, that I still refuse to log into right now…, everywhere. Even in texts and instant messaging, people just seem to bring out the worst in themselves using these digital devices. It’s insane. When I was little, I was bullied in school, like for real bullied. Guys would slam me against the walls or lockers, and grab me by my shirt collar and steal my money for lunch. One guy even picked me up by my shirt; actually lifted me off the ground! It was pretty bad, trust me. But now it seems that we are in the age of “cyber bullying”, which is just as destructive, if not more so than actual physical bullying. It’s horrible.

    Kenlie, I’m sorry that you had to face such abuse as people being mean to you on here. They are just being idiots. Anyone who would be mean to you (or anyone for that matter) is not worth your time, especially if they don’t know you. I’ve have my share of people who hate me for whatever reason as well, and I want to hate them back. So much I wish to hate and despise them. But deep inside of me, there is a part of me that just can’t, no matter how angry and hurt I may feel. I don’t know if I can forgive them, if ever. But I can’t truly hate them back, even though they have clearly shown their animosity towards me. Perhaps it’s God telling me that I shouldn’t hate them, even though I want to. Who knows?

    But I want to encourage you to keep going Kenlie. You have a lot of good support as I have seen from the many on here that reply to you. You certainly have my support. Don’t let a few bad apples ruin it for you. This is a great blog and I’m really glad that I joined and that you are allowing me to follow it. It’s a real shame that people don’t think before they speak (or type in some cases) and will just say anything. Don’t let them get to you. You are making great progress with your weight loss and I am encouraged to keep my weight loss program going as well. Don’t give up! You’re too awesome to give up! 🙂

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  • Reply
    Kate
    June 9, 2015 at 10:02 am

    I just wanted to say that I enjoy reading your blog. I think you are so honest and even keel with your thoughts about the process of trying to lose weight over a long time. I appreciate your insights. But, I can understand that the meanies out there get you down. It amazes me how hurtful people can be under the cloak of anonymity. It’s a shame that there isn’t a way to keep them from commenting. But, I wish you well as you continue your journey, whether it is online or not.

    Best wishes for a healthy life!

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  • Reply
    Kath
    June 13, 2015 at 10:59 am

    Haven’t heard from you much anywhere …. I hope your ok

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