If you know me you probably know that I consider myself to be pretty independent and self-sufficient. I’ve traveled around the world (with others at times and alone at times,) and I’m not afraid to step out of my comfort zone. I’m a well-educated professional who enjoys my work. I live alone, and I’ve become fairly handy inside my little home. I can lift heavy things, put furniture together and fix little issues when they arise, and regardless of the number of grocery bags I bring home, I make one trip from my parking garage to my apartment.
I’m strong and capable, yet I still love it when a man opens the door for me. Yesterday at Starbucks, the man I used to vaguely mention here, carried my heavy backpack to my car before we parted ways. Sure, I can carry the bag myself, but he has offered to carry it to my car as long as I’ve known him (for over a year now,) and I like it.
I’m attracted to the kind of man who comes to hook up the Xbox in my living room because it’s a good excuse to spend time with me. Sure, I could have hooked it up myself, but there’s something so sexy about a man who wants to take care of things like that for me. I also think it’s absolutely hot when a guy checks my tires and knows which ones need to be replaced asap. (Thanks, hot guy.)
Yesterday a woman who, no doubt, considered herself to be much stronger and more capable than I, made a comment under her breath about how women like me set us all back. Seriously? We all have the same right to our opinions, but it’s clear that this stranger and I look at this issue differently.
The man who carried my bag yesterday didn’t do it because he thought I couldn’t. He did it out of respect for me. He carried it affectionately, and I received it because I believe I’m worthy of that respect. Does that mean I go around demanding that men open doors for me or carry heavy things? Of course not…It means that when I man treats me with respect, I appreciate it.
I believe that women should be paid as much as men when their work is equally good. I also believe that women have a right to preferences within the confines of their relationships. It’s just hard to believe that there are women who think that men who behave like gentlemen are jerks. (I know it’s true, but it’s been a long time since I saw such a vitriolic response in real life.)
I do my best to respect others, so I didn’t feel the need to say something snarky to the disgruntled woman. I didn’t say anything at all. Instead I spent a few minutes thinking about the different reasons a woman might feel so strongly about this issue. Maybe someone hurt her, or maybe no one has ever shown her appreciation. Maybe she feels like she has something to prove, or maybe she was simply having a bad day.
I’ll never know why she had such a problem with the man’s desire to treat me well, but I do know that I’ll continue to enjoy it. Whether a man is carrying a heavy bag for me, opening a door for me or pulling out a chair for me at a restaurant, I’ll like it. Like most people, I enjoy feeling cared for and valued, and that’s not likely to change.
Am I the only one who likes being treated this way by a man? Does anyone else feel offended when a man holds the door open for you, etc? If so, will you explain why?