Emotions Exercise Weigh-In weight loss

The Number on the Scale

I’ve always been a fan of writing things out on paper. Whether I’m taking notes in my Bible, writing out grocery lists or making goals I always prefer doing it on paper.

When I spent some time with my family this week I came across a goal I had written out years ago. I left it in my room at Mom’s house, and it’s been a while since I really stopped to think about the hope I placed on that piece of paper years ago.

I also noted the date (almost exactly 4 years ago) when I recognized how hard my personal weight journey felt inside my head.

lose weight

At the time I weighed about 15 pounds more than the number I wrote down, but now, four years later, I weigh almost 70 pounds more than that number. I’m going to be really transparent for a minute; it sucks.

I remember sitting at the desk thinking about how impossibly difficult it felt to lose the necessary 15 or 16 pounds to reach that weight. I just The truth is it seems a lot harder now because it will take a lot more effort, but I think it feels possible. I realize that to most this number still seems high, and I know it is. I also know how awesome and accomplished I felt when I reached it, so it matters to me.

People with good intentions, naive though they may be, often say “stop focusing on the numbers,” and that just doesn’t work in my mind. I never obsessed over reaching a certain weight by a certain date or anything, but I do need to see the numbers moving in the right direction. It motivates me to see the numbers inching down, and now that I’m back with Weight Watchers I’m more aware of it than I’ve been in years.

The good news is that I’ve learned some things about myself and how my mind works since the day I put that number on paper. I’ve learned that I like routine. It’s good for me to know what time I’ll wake up, when I’ll exercise, when I’ll go out, when I’ll be home. (I need to work on the latter. I spend far too much time away from home, but that’s improving.) I always felt like routines were boring, but now that I love my work, my friends and my home it’s great to know that I can look forward to certain things on certain days.

Monday – work, exercise and dinner with my gentleman friend

Tuesday – work, exercise after work, then spend the evening with friends/gentleman friend

Wednesday – late day at work. I go in later than usual, but I’m still home in time to enjoy the evening.

Thursday – work, exercise, band practice for the worship team at church

Friday – rest day

Saturday – prayer with friends at church, followed by free time

Sunday – church, lunch with friends (most weeks,) followed by free time

There’s a lot of time in my schedule to add in exercise, and I could do meal prep too. I’ve never been a fan of eating leftovers, so I think it’s important to come up with ideas to make healthy and easy lunches and dinners.

I used to beat myself up when I saw the 284 photo, but lately I’ve been feeling a renewed hope. (I think it’s because I’m making an effort again.)

I don’t like the way I look in photos right now, but I’m not going to stop taking them. I don’t like how hard it is shop for clothes again, but I’m still going to do it.

I don’t like the fact that I let myself veer so far off track, but I’m happier than I was back then. I’m healthier in so many areas of my life than I was at that time, which means it’s not too late to do this.





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  • Reply
    meema's musings
    June 27, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Kenlie, it sounds to me like you are beginning to know yourself very well. That is a wonderful trait for someone as young as yourself. I only wish I would have delved into what made me tick earlier on into my life. But I didn’t so I started a bit late but started non the less!!

    I share your passion with paper was well. I love writing things down so I can refer to them later. Paper journal, paper tracker, paper calendar. I love the planning sessions on youtube 🙂

    Keep working on it Kenlie you will get the desires of your heart. Just keep them obtainable, honest and real. You’ll get there.


    • Reply
      June 28, 2016 at 11:15 am

      Planning sessions on YouTube? I must learn more about this..

  • Reply
    meema's musings
    June 28, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    Into the search bar on Youtube write Planners and it will bring a bizillion different sites to watch. I really like Erin Condren’s and Etsy planners. Have fun!

  • Reply
    June 28, 2016 at 9:28 pm

    I’m like you…I thrive on routine. It took me quite a while to accept that–for some reason, I thought I should be SPONTANEOUS. But, no, routine is what works for me and what helps me to feel in control.

  • Reply
    June 30, 2016 at 11:38 am

    You have owned up to where you are right now. That is the first and largest step! Make your plans and attack it! You can do it!!!!!

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