Emotions Reflection weight loss

Gastric Sleeve Update #2

The last 30 hours have been overwhelming in some ways, and I feel so grateful for the support I have in my life. Seriously, God knew exactly what He was doing when He put Michael in my life.

I spoke to the surgeon’s office on Tuesday, and when she heard my story (the weight portion) she encouraged me to complete all of the necessary testing and to see my doctor again sooner than I had planned. She was happy to hear that I’m already a Weight Watchers member and suggested that I speak to my doctor about my food and exercise journey.

cardiologistAfter that conversation, which was encouraging and productive, I made an appointment with a cardiologist and saw her yesterday. My heart is healthy, so my cardiologist ran a few necessary tests and cleared me for the surgery. I still have a couple of remaining steps, and the next big one is coming up on Tuesday of next week.

Tuesday night I experienced a little fear and anxiety over the surgery itself and the aftermath. Everyone tells me it’s the best decision they’ve ever made; they also tell me that it changes everything.

The truth is I definitely want and need to lose weight, but I don’t want it to change everything. I love my life, my family, my boyfriend, my church, my job, my friends, etc. I’m happier than I’ve ever been before, and while I recognize that surgery will make me healthier, I momentarily panicked when I considered the words of people who’ve already experienced it.

Ultimately, I realize that everyone’s journey is different. Maybe their lives needed to change. The fact is that mine started changing drastically about four years ago, and I’m happier and more settled than I ever imagined I would be.

Life is good. It’s not always perfect or easy, but it’s good. I’m so thankful for that, and as I reflected on how many positive changes have happened over the last several years my fear was replaced by faith. My boyfriend, who hugged me and quietly prayed for me, reminded me that God has a plan for  my life, and He’s always faithful.

Now I can rest easily, once again, knowing that I only have to take one step at a time, and I’m thankful for that too.


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  • Reply
    August 4, 2016 at 3:00 am

    I am proud of you. I meant to comment on your last post with pictures of you exercising. You don’t give up. That’s what I like about you. The weight loss will be the icing on the cake. You will feel better and that’s what it’s all about. It’s your journey, not anyone else’s. I’m sure I would be scared too, but being you, you have to look on the positive side of things. You have the opportunity to become healthier and that will only improve upon the life /person youve worked hard to achieve. MANY PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIVES THINKING THEY CAN ONLY HAVE PEACE ONCE EVERYTHING IS FIXED. BUT YOU CAN HAVE PEACE FIRST AND EVERYTHING WILL FALL INTO PLACE. You are an example that you can have success etc, and be overweight. Happiness isn’t dependent on being thin. You should be proud of all you’ve achieved. Forgive yourself for being human. Love yourself. It’s how you get back up and keep fighting that matters. Hope you find calm when you are worried and forgiveness when you feel regret. You got this.

    • Reply
      August 24, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      Thank you for the big dose of encouragement! I appreciate it so much, Kristen.

  • Reply
    Ms. Burdie
    August 4, 2016 at 8:29 am

    Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. Your posts always leave me uplifted. While I may not be experiencing the same topic you write about on any given day, I’m always left with a message that seemingly was meant for me from God. This has been a rough week and the last two paragraphs of your post today really spoke to me today. Thank you for sharing!

    • Reply
      August 24, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      That’s the coolest thing anyone has ever said to me here. Thank you for that.

  • Reply
    Karen Scott
    August 4, 2016 at 8:43 am

    So many think, ” If I could lose this weight my life would be great, I would be happy.” You are already there. You don’t need to to lose weight to be happy you want to lose to be healthy so you can live a long life and enjoy all your happiness. This is truly for your health.

    • Reply
      August 24, 2016 at 11:16 pm

      Yes! I think losing weight will enhance those things, but I don’t want to lose the life I’ve built over the last several years.

  • Reply
    Connie Bartlett
    August 4, 2016 at 9:21 am

    Your life is already great! You have found love with a wonderful man, one that prays for you which in my book means everything. You have great friends, a lovely family, awesome church, a job you love, and a contentment and love for yourself. All things that will still be there after the surgery. The only thing that will change is there will be less of you physically. All the important things I mentioned above will still be there post surgery. I imagine a few years back before you “grew spiritually and emotionally” you might not have been ready for this surgery. I have no doubt this will just be the frosting on the cake! Dessert if you will. 🙂 Consider it as such and be thankful you are at a place in your life that you can get this kind of help! (I know you are)…
    Life is about change… hopefully we never stop growing emotionally and spiritually and a surgery as this can only help you in the long run as it will help to free up one burden. I am so glad you are going to have this opportunity to make a healthier you!
    I’ll continue to remember you in my prayers as you go through this…


    • Reply
      August 24, 2016 at 11:18 pm

      Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I think you’re absolutely right about all of it.

  • Reply
    Debbie Lopresti
    August 4, 2016 at 10:02 am

    I really contemplated writing to you about this. I have struggled with weight my whole life and my first husband left after 19 years of marriage and he blamed my weight (but there was also another person in his life as well) but then God stepped in and put a wonderful man in my life who became my second husband. We were together a little over 24 years. He was a spiritual man and a truly good and accepting person. I had a good life with him. Unfortunately he passed away in 2012 and I miss him terribly. My point? I considered a few of the different surgeries that were available as well. My husband discouraged me because he had a business and witnessed several people who had had these surgeries. Most were extremely successful but there were a couple who had complications and he always worried about me.
    Look…. You are happy. You have many people who love you. You have God in your life. You are healthy. You CAN do this yourself. I almost wish that you could write to that guy who does the extreme weight loss show because you would be perfect. You have such an interesting journey and you are an amazing woman. I am 64 years old and I am always inspired by you. God Bless you with whatever decision you make. I will pray for your success in whatever path you choose.

    • Reply
      August 24, 2016 at 11:20 pm

      I understand that there are risks, but I have peace about moving forward. I’ve been very clear with God that I don’t want to go through this if He’s not with me, and I know He’s opening these doors. I’m thankful and totally dependent on Him in this just like everything else.

  • Reply
    August 4, 2016 at 11:34 am

    Be true to you. Always. The line the diet industry always tags their spots is certainly true.
    As far as the previous poster saying “You can do this yourself”. I know it was meant in good spirit, but as someone who speaks from experience: nope, nope, nope. It’s not lack of will power or faith that kept me on the diet yo-yo wagon and destroyed my metabolism in the process. As 5’6″ woman who weighed 350 lbs “healthy” could never apply. There’s a difference between body positive and good health. Sure, I was not on meds, good ticker, etc, but the
    bound-to-happen joint issues and skin irritation were unhealthy. I saw that there was an option (not cure) to help me get and stay healthy. There’s no shame EVER in asking for help, whether it be from the Lord or a physician.
    Sorry if this became a rant, but I’ve been following your blog for many years and if you (probably don’t) recall I hit you up for info when I started my (now defunct) blog. I’ve been pulling for you for years, Kenlie. Follow the path that YOU set for YOU and you can’t fail. <3

    • Reply
      August 24, 2016 at 11:23 pm

      I don’t think that sounded like a rant at all. It sounded like well-meaning, albeit, fearful advice, and I appreciate those opinions too. Like you, I’m just looking at it from a different lens.

      I’m sorry. I don’t recall that off hand, but I probably would if you told me the name of your old blog.

  • Reply
    Toni Martin
    August 6, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    sweet girl!!!! how i thank God for your honesty and your ability to process! a biblical truth that has helped me process through the years when my human mind races ahead and starts playing a scenario of “what ifs” is this: God’s grace is sufficient FOR THIS DAY! just as He provided manna each morning (that they weren’t supposed to try to save up for the next day), His provision provides one day at a time:) when you think about creation, He didn’t have to divide time up into days….while i can’t know what was on the heart of our Creator, the fact that the Jewish day began at sunset, followed by bedtime and trusting Him to watch over us through the night and the sunrise is a reminder that He reigns. He knows our hearts and our tendency to snowballing thoughts thinking we need to control everything….SO, He has given us these reminders! His grace is sufficient….day by day. we don’t get it ahead of time! there was a story in the book “the hiding place” by corrie ten boom. as girl, she was fretful about making a trip on the train. her wise papa asked her, “when do i give you the ticket?” and she replied, “right before i get on the train.” her papa responded, “that is how it is with our Heavenly Father. He gives us our ticket right before we embark/”. blessings!

    • Reply
      August 24, 2016 at 11:25 pm

      Thank you for being here, Toni. You truly are such a wonderful, loving person, and I’m so thankful that you’ve known me through every major part of my life.

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