It’s Hard To Imagine Not Being Obese

I’ve spent so much time thinking about what it will be like to live in a smaller, healthier body, but I can’t really imagine it. I’ve been obese my entire adult life, which leads me to wonder what my face looks like under my excess weight.

Right now I wear a size 7 ring (closer to 6.75,) but I’m guessing that will change. I’m also pretty sure that I’ll lose at least one shoe size, more realistically two sizes. My clothing size will obviously change as well, which is expected. There’s just so much more than that to consider.

I remember what it was like to weigh 284 pounds, and I felt tiny. (Yes, I know that’s still totally obese, but I don’t remember what it was like to be smaller than that.) I felt so light on my feet, yet I cannot imagine what it will be like to be 100 pounds smaller than that.

I never liked to think about the big picture when it came to the numbers because that always used to discourage me. Now I’m just intrigued.

I’m curious to know what it will be like to shop somewhere other than Lane Bryant. (I’m glad they exist for people my size, but it’s going to be fun to have more options.) I also want to know what it feels like to cross my legs or buckle my seatbelt on an airplane.

I want to experience the feelings of relief that will inevitably replace the feelings of anxiety as I request a table at a restaurant, and I want to know what it feels like to have enough room to sit comfortably in a booth.

I want to know what it feels like to run, to wear a pair of high heels and to feel my boyfriend’s arms wrapped around me even more than they already are while his chin sits on my head.

I want to know what it’s like to buy a one piece swim suit, which is something I can’t do now because of all of the excess weight in my abdomen. I also want to know what it feels like to wear a shirt with my favorite sports team’s logo or to order a jacket with my work logo on it.

I want to know what it’s like to sit down in a movie theater without having to raise the arm rest, and I want to know what it’s like to sit outside to drink coffee without having to question what the chairs are made of.

I want to wear jeans.

I have so many questions that only time can answer, so I’m going to muster up as much patience as I can while I strive to have them all answered.

This is my new reality, and I can’t wait to discover what’s ahead.

 

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9 Comments

  • Reply
    Alesha
    September 20, 2016 at 9:08 am

    This is going to be a beautiful journey! I am so happy for you and looking forward to your next chapter. Thank you for sharing your story. You are amazing!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 21, 2016 at 4:48 pm

      I’m looking forward to it too, Alesha! Thanks for being here!

      0
  • Reply
    Karen
    September 20, 2016 at 9:44 am

    You have so much to look forward to. So excited for you and glad you are willing to share it all here. Thank you.

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 21, 2016 at 4:49 pm

      Thanks, Karen! I’m looking forward to the next chapter, which has just started.

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  • Reply
    Steelers6
    September 21, 2016 at 12:03 am

    Very exciting stuff. I expect you will enjoy reading some of these posts in the future, & remembering what life was like.
    I’m so happy for you. XO Chrissy

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 21, 2016 at 4:50 pm

      I already love how much my life has changed, and I’m looking forward to a bright future too. I’m excited.

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  • Reply
    Verena
    September 21, 2016 at 1:24 am

    You are an Inspiration! I wish you the best of luck for the months ahead!!!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 21, 2016 at 4:50 pm

      Thank you, Verena!

      0
  • Reply
    2016’s Top 50 Weight Loss Blogs: Part 1 – HealthyWage Blog
    December 5, 2016 at 7:58 pm

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