Reflection

My Surgery Date is Set

There’s so much to share on my blog this week, but right now my focus is on my surgery. The date is set, and it’s happening before the end of the month. On one hand I feel excited, anxious and ready to get this show on the road, and on the other it still doesn’t feel real.

I have the best support system a person could hope to have, and I feel more at peace in every area of my life than I ever dreamed possible. I’ve gained more knowledge on the subject – what it will be like before and after, etc., and I believe that I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

As confident as I feel about the surgery I also feel unsure about a lot of things. What it will be like to live with a smaller stomach?  What level of pain I can expect to experience after surgery? How will I feel throughout the two-week liquid diet prior to surgery? Won’t that be harder than the liquid diet post-surgery? Will I still like my favorite protein shake by the time my food restrictions have been lifted?

The weekend was filled with fun and challenging things that I’ll write about later, but I also addressed the fears I have pertaining to the surgery itself. Michael and I were talking about what it will be like when I get home from the hospital.

I’ll be off work for a couple of weeks, which is okay with me. I love my job, but I also love the idea that I’ll be forced to take some time to relax. I’ll have an excuse to stay at home long enough to catch up on this season of Suits. (Thank you, DVR.) I’ll also watch new shows like Designated Survivor and This is Us.

I should be able to walk before I return home too, and thankfully, I live in a neighborhood that has all kinds of things to see and experience. I’ll also play more Pokemon Go since I already love that pointless game. I also have lots of yarn, painting supplies and books, which will provide hours of entertainment.

I’m as prepared as I can be, and I’ve spent the last few weeks wrapping my head around how differently I’ll treat food. I’m not a binge-eater, but I’ll have to readjust to eating at home more often when I get to the point where I can actually consume food again.

Right now I’m taking it one step at a time. I feel fine one moment and overwhelmed at other moments. When I get overwhelmed I remind myself that I don’t have to face it all today, and I refocus on what matters at that moment.

I firmly believe that God opened this door for me, and I think the timing is brilliant because my heart and mind needed to heal first. Now it’s time to heal my body.

I’m nervous about the discomfort I may feel after the surgery, but honestly, I’m not comfortable in my body at this size now. I mean, I’m used to it, but so many things would be easier if my body lived at a healthier weight. The little pain that I may or may not feel will be worth it.

 

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14 Comments

  • Reply
    Heidi
    September 12, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    I had all of the same concerns. But honestly, 6 months post op, i am fine. I thought i would have to give up EVERYTHING & I didn’t. I can still eat 1 piece of pizza (not the 5 pieces that i used to be able to eat) & i am full. I still indulge, but having the sleeve gives me the push to stop. You will be fine! I took 2 weeks off of work. The first 4 days was the hardest. It felt like i had did a million situps, and it was hard to sit up from a laying down position…but i survived and you will too!! How exciting for you!! The journey will be great!!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 12, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      I am SO THANKFUL for you and for your honesty and encouragement, Heidi. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Toni
    September 12, 2016 at 2:34 pm

    Bless you, Sweet girl as you run ️️this race set before you with eyes on our Great Supplier, Redeemer And King. He gave us the moon and the sun and His ️Grace that is sufficient for each day the moon and sun bookends for us. His ️Grace works within those time orderersjust like manna. I believe the anxiety we conjur up comes when we project ahead to a time in our future for which we do not yet have our daily bread. Hang on to His character!!!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 12, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      You’re so right, and I’m hanging on. Thank you for your prayers and support. It means so much to me!

  • Reply
    Emily
    September 12, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    Cheering you on, as always, Kenlie!

    The first week home was pretty rough for me, just mentally adjusting to all the little nuances and feelings that you can’t really 100% prep for… but more you just experience and go with. But when day 6/7 hit, I felt amazing. Walk walk walk and sleep sleep sleep. 😉 And try to get off pain meds as soon as you can, it’ll help tremendously!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 12, 2016 at 4:10 pm

      You just led me to another thought. I wonder if I’ll take pain meds. I mean, I will if I’m in a lot of pain, but when my boyfriend did it he didn’t need them. I think that’s different for every person, and I guess we’ll know very soon what it’s like for me.

      It sounds like everything I go through will be worth it. I’m just so ready to get it done!

  • Reply
    Nancy
    September 12, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    I love Toni’s reply! What beautiful thoughts! Just know that God will be with you every step of the day and he will take care of you! Looking forward to hearing about your new journey!

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 12, 2016 at 4:11 pm

      She is a gem, and I’ve known her since I was a child. She’s right, and I thank you for echoing that today too!

  • Reply
    Sandra
    September 12, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    What an adventure you’re about to take! Remain compliant all the way through and you can’t falter. I’m over 3 yrs out so I speak from experience. I had the easiest recovery. Text book, I would think. I took a few Advil the night I returned home, but never touch it again (nor anything else) during my recovery. I went for walks every day (started out very short, but moving nonetheless) and walked about the house often. I was off work for 2 weeks and then worked the 3rd week from home. At the end of two weeks you may hate Isopure (I did!), but that first scrambled egg you eat will be the best tasting food you will have ever eaten. Believe me! And if you haven’t already, check out Unjury Chicken Soup protein powder. It’s quite good and the powder mixed with cottage cheese is a nice treat because, if you’re like me, you may be missing the savory component (Salt!!!) at that point and it’ll be AMAZING!

    I know you’ll have an amazing experience because you’re surrounded by equally amazing people. Grab the reins and getting ready for the ride of your young life.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 13, 2016 at 11:41 pm

      These are the things I love to hear. Most people say they didn’t need pain meds, and I hope that’s true for me too. I have a higher tolerance than some, but we’ll see how it goes.

  • Reply
    Cindy
    September 12, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    A new adventure. Always a little scary but exciting.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 13, 2016 at 11:42 pm

      Yep! Definitely!

  • Reply
    Debbie Lopresti
    September 12, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    I wish you all the best. An exciting new chapter for you. You have put much thought and effort into this decision and you will have amazing results. God bless you.

    • Reply
      Kenlie
      September 13, 2016 at 11:42 pm

      I really have put in a lot of thought and prayer, and I’m expecting positive results. Thank you for being here, Debbie.

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