Five Days Post Op

I’ve officially reached the “why in the hell would I do this to myself?” phase, and I’m not happy about it. I’m healing and dropping a little weight, but I’mΒ exhausted from showering, walking and trying to drink 48 ounces of liquids each day.

Yesterday I was struggling with cabin fever, so my boyfriend and Mom took me on a little trip to a place I’m always comfortable. I slept much better than I have since surgery, and I know I’m healing. I know I have to be patient…blah, blah, blah…I’m just ready to see some progress. I’m ready to confidently move around without fear of the gripping pain that comes with moving too quickly. I’m ready to curl up in my own bed, which just isn’t possible yet.

Right now it takes me almost 5 minutes to drink an ounce of anything. I knew it would be like this, but it’s still hard to wrap my head around it. It’s even hard to hold my iPad up long enough to read books, answer messages on social media and such.

I know I shouldn’t complain about this awesome opportunity that I had to regain control of my body while losing weight, but today I’m frustrated. Today I need to be reminded that I made a carefully thought out choice and that everyone I know who has been through it says it was the best choice they’ve ever made.

I definitely don’t feel like that now, but I know feelings lie. I know this was a good decision, but right now it’s hard. I guess that’s just part of my process, but what I should do is remind myself that God is faithful and cut myself some slack since it’s been less than a week.

My goal for today is to read, walk, sip and spend time with people I love, and hopefully, I’ll improve a bit more tomorrow.

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Karen Scott
    October 3, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    Have been looking forward to your updates. I understand you are frustrated. The things causing the frustration are valid reasons. Keep your eye on the prize. Healing takes time . I am sorry you are hurting . I look forward to the upcoming posts that will involve your continued triumphs and victories. Hang in there !

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  • Reply
    Heidi
    October 3, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    i know you are sick of hearing this BUT it will get better, i PROMISE! Around the 5 day post op mark i was literally SOBBING over wanting pizza. You will look back in a month from now and laugh at your emotions now. After the healing, you will feel so happy with your decision. I know what you are going through now though. You will get through this. You WILL be able to eat again and you will be so thankful. πŸ™‚

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  • Reply
    Stephanie
    October 3, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    I don’t take you as a complainer. You are dealing with your emotions in an open setting. That is good. Holding it in would hurt your recovery. I think what you are feeling is what a lot of people feel after any surgery. You got this.

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  • Reply
    LJB
    October 3, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Complain as much as you want! We’ll listen! Any surgery is an insult to the body and it takes way longer than we can imagine, but one day, voila! you wake up or look up and you feel not only normal, but actually good. So we’ll listen, listen, listen to your complaints for as long as needed!

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    • Reply
      jessica
      October 3, 2016 at 3:42 pm

      LJB could not have said it better! You just had MAJOR surgery.. Your body has been broken into and assaulted in a way that it has never been! The inside is healing from the work that was done to it and the outside is also healing from the incision that were done. This is JUST what you are going through physically…Emotionally you are struggling b/c the physical pain is all new, you are not used to this pain and lack of energy… You are scared, frustrated that you are so limited and sick and tired of being sick and tired!
      One hour at a time, one day at a time, one milestone at a time!

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      • Reply
        Lyndi
        October 3, 2016 at 4:27 pm

        Well said, LJB and Jessica! When you’re body is cut into, our body releases all the white bloods cells to go to work to repair it. This causes fluid (the blood cells at work) and as we all know, fluid weighs. Don’t be discouraged by a little bit of weight loss. Once you’re healed further, the weight will “pour” off! πŸ™‚ Also, it takes a while for the anesthesia to completely leave your body, which is another reason you may be so tired. After I had breast reduction surgery, I had all these books to read and I, literallly, was too exhausted to hold them. You are completely normal!! Sleep as much as you want, complain as much as you want. You’re in good hands — the Lord’s and your family!

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  • Reply
    Alisa Applegate
    October 3, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Hang in there. I am anxious to follow your story. I have been contemplating the same procedure. I have not told anyone at this point so thinking about it is all that I have done so far. I look forward to your updates.

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