Only 100 Pounds

I had a doctor’s appointment last week, and I strongly considered skipping it because I could sleep in and, more importantly, because I didn’t want to defend myself for only losing nearly 100 pounds in the last six months.

Most people would be thrilled to lose 100 pound in six months. Heck, I was thrilled back in 2010 when I lost 100 pounds in 13 months, but right now it doesn’t feel like enough. I mean, it seems like enough so far, but it’s hard to wait patiently to lose more. It feels like I’ve lost the majority of what I’m going to lose already, but hey…feelings lie.

I’m eating much less than I used to eat, and I’m slowly finding my way back into an exercise groove. I walk a lot more and a lot faster too. I could still be doing better – drinking more water, exercising more…It’s so much easier to walk though! I don’t feel like I’m waddling around, nor do I feel like I need to wear sneakers everywhere.

Today I rocked 4 in. wedges. Yesterday I wore my Chuck Taylor’s all day. (They’re sneakers, but they’re cute.) It was nice to get to the end of the active day without my feet swelling at all and without feeling tired.

Oscillating between feelings of progress and defeat made it difficult to walk into the doctor’s office because she hasn’t exactly been encouraging in the past. I knew I needed to push through it anyway though because I needed to discuss birth control options. (More on that later.)

When the doctor came in she acknowledged that I had lots a significant amount of weight since my first visit with her less than a year ago. She thought I’d lose 90 more than 90 pounds in six months, but she said I was making progress. Yes, and that’s encouraging.

Since that appointment last week I’ve dropped another 5 pounds, and I’m getting very close to the 100 pound mark. I don’t want to define myself by the numbers – whether I’m losing or gaining. I want to be at peace with the scale because I’m a lot better off now than I was.

I went back for blood work the following day, and I’ve never had such an extensive set of blood tests. They tested my vitamin levels, cholesterol, my thyroid, A1c and lots of other stuff, and they also did a complete STD panel as well. It all came back great! The nurse kept saying “wow” as she read the results, and I just smiled because my health is in a better place than it was at this time last year. I’m thankful for that.

Overall I’m thrilled with my progress. I strive not to compare myself to others because everyone’s experience is so different, and I feel at peace with where I am. A few pounds from now I’ll be lighter than I’ve ever been in my adult life, and that’s going to be a fun day. I’m looking forward to it and enjoying the days until then.

Have you ever felt like the progress you’re making isn’t fast enough or good enough? Did you learn how to make peace with it?

 

 

 

 

 

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9 Comments

  • Reply
    Kim
    April 9, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    My weight’s coming off even slower than yours, Kenlie. I had VSG surgery on December 20 and I’ve lost 42 pounds. I know I am not exercising enough due to pain issues from RA and fibromyalgia. I agree though, it is easier to move around! I’m happy with my weight loss and so is my doctor. She’s always amazed at what I’ve lost and I have another appointment on Wednesday. I’ve had many non-scale victories–I can definitely tell in my clothes, I’m almost ready to lose my seat belt extender, I’m moving around better, etc. Hang in there! You are a beautiful person inside and out and I am so happy I found your blog.

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    • Reply
      Connie Bartlett
      April 10, 2017 at 9:05 am

      I ALWAYS feel like my progress isn’t fast enough in anything I do. I am a perfectionist and that’s great… but sometimes it backfires and can be more of a hinderance to me if things aren’t going just as I had envisioned them to be going. A good example is completely giving up! I have been known to do that in so many cases just because my progress might be slower than I hoped! Then 6 months down the road I look back and think….what have I done? Six months have passed and I could be so much further along if I had just stuck it out….had more patience and just trusted the process.
      And knowing all that…. I still have issues! LOL

      Kenlie you are doing so great! I look at your pictures and you are beautiful. You started out beautiful even before the first pound was lost. Your going forward not backward, and as much as the doctors are there for us, they cannot predict how fast or slow an individual will lose weight.There are so many variables in the weightloss ‘game’. But this we do know… if you stick to it and do the best you can, ie- eat less, move more… the process works. It may be slower than you would like, but in the end what do you have to do? Really? You’re gonna live, and days will pass by into months and then years…so there is no rush. Your healthy, (which is most important), you’re feeling great, and you ARE losing. Time isn’t being wasted and you’re not going backward…you’re already winning!!!! …. and that really is all that matters!

      Looking back at what I have written I’m thinking… I ramble on.. 🙂

      One last thing… when you go back to the doctor, hold your head high! You haven’t lost “just” 100 lbs … You have lost 100 pounds!!!!!! Improved your health markers!!!!!! and so many more things.
      Keep up the AWESOME work!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      April 10, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      THAT IS SO AWESOME, KIM! (I was yelling with excitement for you, thus the caps.)

      Seriously, that’s all wonderful! Keep it up!

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  • Reply
    Diane Wisley
    April 9, 2017 at 10:28 pm

    I’ve been doing WW. I’ve lost 52 lbs and of course I’d love to have it go faster. But I have to look at where I’ve been. I refuse to go back there. I strive to move forward. And I am loving….Loving!!!…how fluid my body is feeling again. Every day is a new beginning and an opportunity to refocus and make great choices.
    You’re doing great woman!!!

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    • Reply
      Kenlie
      April 10, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      You’re doing great too! Way. To. Go!!!

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  • Reply
    nixpix
    April 9, 2017 at 11:25 pm

    Can you find a new doctor? I think you are doing great. This is a journey, not a race and you are making great progress. I think I would look for a more supportive doctor. I am so excited for you. When your wedding comes you are going to look beautiful. Keep doing what you are doing.

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  • Reply
    Kristen Sowah
    April 10, 2017 at 7:52 am

    I know it sounds cliché but think of how far you’ve come. Think of where you started and where you would be if you hadn’t elected surgery. 100 lbs is a lot! I’ve never had wls and dont know anything about weight loss expectations post op, but seems like big progress. Your body also has to heal:)

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  • Reply
    Erin
    April 10, 2017 at 9:16 am

    I walked into my last pre-op appointment scared and upset because I hadn’t lost the 50 pounds I had wanted to lose before surgery. I’d only lost 40. My surgeon walked in and exclaimed, “you lost 40 pounds! That’s fantastic!” I was shocked. I was sure he would yell at me (all my previous doctors had). I felt the same way after my surgery. I wasn’t losing fast enough, I was wasting my opportunity, etc.

    Thankfully, my surgeon is wonderful. He has never made me feel bad, always encourages me, and helps me get back on track when I lose my way. Even now, almost 7 years out and just under 160 pounds lost I’m disapppinted in myself. I would still qualify for WLS and that makes me sad. However, I’m exercising consistently and I’m definitely seeing a difference. Even if I don’t lose another pound, I’m stronger and healthier that is good.

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  • Reply
    Maryfran
    April 10, 2017 at 10:48 am

    I’m glad the doctor was encouraging about your loss! No matter what she wanted or expected you to lose….you lost and so many people can’t do that!!!!

    You be proud of what you accomplished!!!!!!

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