I had a doctor’s appointment last week, and I strongly considered skipping it because I could sleep in and, more importantly, because I didn’t want to defend myself for only losing nearly 100 pounds in the last six months.
Most people would be thrilled to lose 100 pound in six months. Heck, I was thrilled back in 2010 when I lost 100 pounds in 13 months, but right now it doesn’t feel like enough. I mean, it seems like enough so far, but it’s hard to wait patiently to lose more. It feels like I’ve lost the majority of what I’m going to lose already, but hey…feelings lie.
I’m eating much less than I used to eat, and I’m slowly finding my way back into an exercise groove. I walk a lot more and a lot faster too. I could still be doing better – drinking more water, exercising more…It’s so much easier to walk though! I don’t feel like I’m waddling around, nor do I feel like I need to wear sneakers everywhere.
Today I rocked 4 in. wedges. Yesterday I wore my Chuck Taylor’s all day. (They’re sneakers, but they’re cute.) It was nice to get to the end of the active day without my feet swelling at all and without feeling tired.
Oscillating between feelings of progress and defeat made it difficult to walk into the doctor’s office because she hasn’t exactly been encouraging in the past. I knew I needed to push through it anyway though because I needed to discuss birth control options. (More on that later.)
When the doctor came in she acknowledged that I had lots a significant amount of weight since my first visit with her less than a year ago. She thought I’d lose 90 more than 90 pounds in six months, but she said I was making progress. Yes, and that’s encouraging.
Since that appointment last week I’ve dropped another 5 pounds, and I’m getting very close to the 100 pound mark. I don’t want to define myself by the numbers – whether I’m losing or gaining. I want to be at peace with the scale because I’m a lot better off now than I was.
I went back for blood work the following day, and I’ve never had such an extensive set of blood tests. They tested my vitamin levels, cholesterol, my thyroid, A1c and lots of other stuff, and they also did a complete STD panel as well. It all came back great! The nurse kept saying “wow” as she read the results, and I just smiled because my health is in a better place than it was at this time last year. I’m thankful for that.
Overall I’m thrilled with my progress. I strive not to compare myself to others because everyone’s experience is so different, and I feel at peace with where I am. A few pounds from now I’ll be lighter than I’ve ever been in my adult life, and that’s going to be a fun day. I’m looking forward to it and enjoying the days until then.
Have you ever felt like the progress you’re making isn’t fast enough or good enough? Did you learn how to make peace with it?